The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy
by DeraldSny
Summary: A collection of one-shots featuring my rendition of adult Peashy from 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout'. What challenges and hilarity await our blonde heroine?
1. Episode 1: It Begins

Hello, loyal readers! This is the first in a series of one-shots featuring grown-up Peashy from the Hyperdimension, taking place after 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout'. Enjoy!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 1

By Derald Snyder

The large, scaly dragon reared its head and roared at its two assailants, pushing them back slightly. Despite several slash marks over its body, it was still quite battle-capable.

"Ugh, we haven't damaged it nearly enough...!" grunted Purple Heart as she held her sword in a defensive stance. She and her sister had been tasked by Vert to take care of this creature that had been terrorizing western Leanbox lately, with a promise to send help later...

"Have we lost that many levels already?" Purple Sister pondered as she tried to think of a strategy.

"Nepgear, LOOK OUT!" Purple Heart screamed as she shoved her sister out of the way of the dragon's tail, which struck with the impact of a thunderbolt, slamming the goddess into a nearby boulder, her transformation reverting as she lost consciousness.

"NEPTUUUUNE!" Purple Sister cried in horror, before turning and seeing the dragon charging a fiery blast. (Is this game over...?!)

But then, rock music started up as a white flash slammed into the dragon's head, causing its fireball to fly way off-target, exploding somewhere in the forest. The white blur then resolved itself into a tall soldier decked out in white armor, wearing a black-and-white helmet with an orange visor.

"Alright, you overgrown lizard, my turn!" a female voice shouted from under the helmet, the dragon roaring at her as she pulled out...

(A baton?) thought Purple Sister. (That's not going to help against that thing...) When soldier swung said baton, however, it caused a discharge of electricity upon contact with the dragon's jaw, causing it to recoil in pain. (A shock baton, on the other hand...) The dragon attempted to bite down on the soldier, only for her to easily spin out of the way, smacking it a few more times with her shock baton, forcing it back slightly...

"LOOK OUT!" Purple Sister screamed at seeing the dragon's tail lash out again. The soldier quickly dropped her baton before actually *catching* the tail in her arms. Pulling in the same direction, the soldier let out a battle cry as she turned the dragon's momentum against it, flipping the entire creature onto its back. (No way...!) The CPU Candidate then heard a groan in the distance, quickly flying over to her sister as she regained consciousness. "Neptune, are you OK?"

"No..." The CPU moaned as Purple Sister helped her into a sitting position. "What's that generic soldier doing borrowing Peashy's theme...?"

"Hey!" The armored soldier screamed as she held onto the dragon's tail for dear life, which was whipping around in the air. "I could really use some *help* here!"

"Oh right!" Purple Sister flew back towards the battle, firing her arm cannon at the dragon's head, which turned to blast a fireball at her, which the goddess swiftly swerved to dodge, before slashing at its tongue with her laser blade, causing it to cry out in pain. The distraction allowed the soldier to slide down the tail, then drop to the ground, retrieving her baton. She then ducked under the dragon, swinging her shock baton upward and striking the creature between its legs in a very sensitive spot...

The dragon screeched, tears sprouting in its eyes from the unexpected groin attack, allowing Purple Sister to retreat slightly before launching forward at max speed, readying her blade...

 _*KA-SHWING!*_

The dragon's severed head crashed to the ground, as the rest of it's body collapsed, the armored soldier barely getting out from under it before getting crushed. Purple Sister then flew down to the soldier as the dragon's body dematerialized, the Neptunia victory music playing, accompanied by a level-up jingle.

"Thank you so much!" exclaimed Nepgear as her transformation reverted. "I thought we were done for! You came just in time!"

"Of course she did..." Neptune groaned as joined them, still favoring her side. "That's how these things always happen, y'know..."

"Just doing my job," the soldier said nonchalantly. "Lady Vert would have been inconsolable if anything had happened to you..."

"So, you're from the Leanbox Army, then?" Nepgear inquired.

"Used to be," the soldier shrugged. "At least, until they found out I was a girl and gave me the boot. So now I work as Lady Vert's personal bodyguard..."

"Oh, I see," Nepgear nodded. "That was nice of Vert to hire you after you were kicked out of the military... I can certainly see why she did..."

"Yeah, well..." Neptune interrupted. "Just so we're clear, that music you used to make your dynamic entrance belongs to Peashy... Don't think Vert would appreciate you stealing it..."

"...but I didn't steal it," the soldier responded, before removing her helmet...

Revealing blonde hair and blue eyes, said hair tied up with two small red bobbles. "Hi, Neptuna! It's me, Peashy!"

A low piano chord sounded as Neptune's jaw dropped, before her eyes rolled up in her head as she fainted dead away.

"AAHHH! Neptune!" Nepgear cried in distress. "Someone get the smelling salts! Or water! or anything!"

Meanwhile, Vert smirked as she watched the scene from some nearby brush, having recorded the whole thing on her mobile device.

"Hmhmhm... just as planned~"

*Episode 1- End*

And so it begins... as always, leave a review!


	2. Episode 2: The Fourth Wall

And here's Episode 2, in which Neptune helps Peach discover a shocking revelation...

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 2

By Derald Snyder

"...so, lemme get this straight," sighed Neptune as she rubbed her temples, her torso bandaged up from the recent battle. "This big, grown-up P-ko... is actually Peashy from *our* dimension."

"That's correct," Vert nodded.

"And you found her when you were helping Rei get one of your best soldiers cleared of false charges?"

"Exactly."

"And now she's your personal bodyguard."

"Indeed she is."

"Just so we're clear," Peashy spoke up, "my relationship with Lady Vert is purely professional. Also miss Neptune, I'd prefer you call me by my proper name- Peach C. Macintosh."

"Peach C. Macintosh, huh?" the purple-haired CPU muttered. "Now there's a punny name if I ever heard one..." Something then occurred to her. "Your dad's name wouldn't happen to be Steve, would it?"

Peach's eyes went wide with shock. "That's exactly right! How did you know?! We haven't seen each other in years!"

"Well, then..." Neptune paused as she racked her brain. "Would your mother's name... happen to be... Lisa?"

Peach's jaw dropped. "L-Lady Vert, does this CPU have the power of clairvoyance or something?!"

"Not exactly," Vert sighed. "She's just very fourth wall savvy..."

"F-fourth wall?" the blonde asked confusedly.

"Lookie up yonder," stated Neptune as she pointed at the screen. Peach turned and looked in the direction the goddess was pointing...

And sees your face looking down at her.

 _"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"_

*Episode 2- End*


	3. Episode 3: Old Lady Neptune?

Time for Episode 3!

Demon Tiger- That was kinda the idea... XD

JakandJim- Sent you a PM.

GX-Nepgear- I honestly think Neptune can't help herself sometimes...

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 3

By Derald Snyder

"It was so horrible, Adrian!" Peach cried as she sobbed into her boyfriend's chest. "All those faces, staring at me...!"

"Well, you just have to learn not to look in that specific direction," Adrian muttered as he ran a hand through Peach's hair.

"I'm surprised you didn't know about it..." sighed Vert. "Almost everyone in Gamindustri is aware of the fourth wall in some fashion or another..."

"With all due respect, Lady Vert," Peach began, "before I was hired into the army, my Mom and I were doing everything we could just to keep our heads above water, so to speak. Didn't exactly have time to know or care about the fourth wall..."

"...Well, that's fair enough," Vert conceded. "So about we get back at Neptune for traumatizing you like that?"

"Wh-what do you mean, 'get back at her'?" Peach asked worriedly.

"Oh, nothing too harsh... just a harmless prank, of sorts. I've already gotten little Nepgear to agree..."

"You did?" Adrian blinked in surprise. "I thought she adored her sister..."

The busty CPU just shrugged. "Well, perhaps some of Rom and Ram have rubbed off on her... After all, they prank their sister Blanc all the time..."

"The Twin Terrors of Lowee..." Peach muttered.

"Yeah, I heard them being called that back in high school," Adrian nodded. "But anyway... what kind of prank did you have in mind, Lady Vert?"

"Well, it's going to require a trip to Planeptune..."

 _*Planeptune Basilicom, a few days later*_

"Mmmmmmnnnnnn..." Neptune yawned as she slowly roused from her nap. But as she woke up, she realized something didn't feel right... Her face felt all... rubbery.

(Uh-oh, hope I didn't catch something...) The goddess thought as she shifted into a sitting position, stretching a bit... then she realized she was dressed in white robes. "What the...?" Her voice sounded muffled.

"Oh my goodness!" Neptune turned toward the voice- it was Nepgear her hands clasped over her mouth in shock. "Neptune, say it isn't so!"

"What's wrong, Nep. Jr? Do I have mumps or something?"

"Even worse!" Nepgear responded, shaking her head. "You've become an old hag!"

"Say what?!" Neptune gasped. "No, that can't be right! We're CPUs- we don't age!"

"Th-then how do you explain this?!" The CPU candidate pulled out a hand mirror, showing it to her sister...

A wrinkled face with a bent nose, white hair and D-Pad clips stared back.

 **"AAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!"** Neptune screamed in horror, her hands going to her face... then realization dawned on her. "Oh, waaaaait a minute, I get it... this's just a mask, isn't it? Funny, Nep Jr... nice try..." However, as she pulled at her face, it wouldn't give an inch, no matter which way she tried. "Wh-what the nep?! It won't come off!"

"It *can't* come off, Neptune!" Nepgear insisted. "That's your real face!"

"No no no no no no noooooooo!" cried Neptune cried as she continued to pull every which way at her face... then she heard laughter, as a nearby closet door opened, Peach stumbling out.

"Heeheeheeheeahhahahahahahaaaaa! S-sorry, Nepgear... couldn't hold it in any longer!" The blonde then collapsed to the ground, rolling with laughter.

"B-Big Peashy?!" Neptune said confusedly. "What's going on here?!"

"Smile, Neptune," declared Vert as she entered from the adjacent room, holding up her mobile device. "You're on candid camera!"

"Vert?!" the purple-haired goddess cried out in shock. "Wait, was this your doing?!" She then looked over at her sister, who was now giggling uncontrollably herself, her hands over her mouth. "Nepgear... You... you underhanded, vile, *traitor*! How could you do this to me?! Your own sister...!"

"Now, now," Vert tried to calm her fellow CPU. "All little Nepgear did was apply the superglue to your face... I was the one that affixed the mask. And Peach here is the one that dyed your hair white."

"Hee hee hee..." Peach was still chortling as she slowly picked herself up. "that's what you get... for exposing me... to the fourth wall like that...!" Glancing at her victim, she ended up doubling over in laughter again.

"I-it's OK, Neptune," Nepgear said as she tried to stifle her own laughter. "That superglue dissolves in water, so a good dunking and that mask should come right off..."

"It had better," muttered Neptune, as her hands went to her side...

 _*SLASH!*_

Vert gasped as her mobile device split in two and shattered, Neptune now holding her katana in hand.

"Clearly I'm *not* an old lady, seeing my reflexes are as good as ever," the CPU smirked. "No putting this crap on the Internep for you, Vert!"

"Oh dear," Vert sighed. "Good thing I backed up recently..."

Peach was no longer laughing. "You do realize, *Neptuna*... that as Lady Vert's bodyguard, I can't ignore you swinging a weapon at her!" With that, she grabbed the smaller girl in a headlock and dragged her off.

"Whaddaya gonna do?!" Neptune grunted as she tried to pry herself loose, to no avail...

"I'm gonna give you a good old-fashion waterboarding!" Peach declared as they walked into the kitchen. "Already got a sink full of water ready for you!"

"H-hey, wait a nep- *blublbublbulblbluglurbblurbblblbrulglub!*" the CPU gurgled as her head was forced underwater. After a few seconds Peach pulled her back up, gasping and coughing. "*Cough, choke* N-no fair...!"

"All's fair in love and war," Peach recited. "And seeing as I'm a soldier... but look on the bright side, that old lady mask should come off easy now!" With that, she grabbed the nose of the mask and pulled as hard as she could, Neptune crying out in pain as she felt skin cells being pulled off her face...

*POP!* Off came the mask, Neptune blinking and shaking her head... "Sheesh, Peashy, do ya gotta be so rough...?"

"I'm a rough-and-tumble kinda gal," Peach just shrugged. "Uh-oh, Neptuna, you've still got some white dye in your hair...!"

"Noooo- *glubblurbleblubblbrleglrbblub!*" Neptune's arms waved frantically as her head was forced underwater again.

"Peach, dear, that's enough," Vert ordered. "I think you've got your point across..." The soldier promptly complied, pulling Neptune's head up again before handing her off to Nepgear, who started drying her sister's face with a towel.

"*gasp, cough, cough, gag* All I did was break Vert's MyPhone..." Neptune weakly protested.

"Yeah, you could've gone a little easier on her, Miss Peach..." Nepgear agreed.

"Ugh, please don't call me 'miss'..." Peach protested. "I'm only 28, after all..."

"Well, we've had our fun, so I suppose we'll be off..." said Vert, turning to walk away, Peach quickly following behind. "Perhaps next time, you'll exercise a bit more tact when you expose someone to the fourth wall like that..."

"Hey it was *you* who brought up the fourth wall to begin with...!" Neptune retorted, but in vain- the two were already gone...

 _*Outside the Basilicom*_

"Do you have it, Adrian?" Vert asked as she and Peach walked outside.

"I got it," the Army soldier nodded, holding up his own mobile device. "Nice bit of distraction, Lady Vert- making it look as if you were the one recording the prank, so CPU Neptune didn't even think to look for me..."

"I don't even know where you hid," Peach shrugged. "But I guess that was kinda the point..." She then grinned as she quaked with excitement. "I can't wait to get this uploaded on the Internep...!"

 _ **"NOT HAPPENING!"**_ An *extremely* loud voice bellowed, forcing all three Leanbox denizens to cover their ears.

"What the hell was that?!" cried Adrian, having dropped his device.

"Ta-daaaa!" declared the new arrival, an HDD CPU with orange hair and a megaphone. "It's me, Orange Heart, the magical girl of dreams!" With that, she stomped on Adrian's mobile device, smashing it beyond repair. "Naughty naughty, trying to publicly humiliate my fellow goddess Nepsy! Bad Vertsy!"

"Oh no..." Vert moaned. "I completely forgot about Uzume..."

"We've... we've been foiled... by a goddess Peach and I knew nothing about...!" said Adrian in disbelief.

"Hee hee, pranksters foiled! My work here is done! Bye bye!" said Orange Heart as she flew off...

 _"CUUUUUUUURRSSEEEEEEEESS!"_ Peach wailed in despair.

*Episode 3- End*

I have to admit, even *I* didn't see Uzume coming... O_O Anyway, read and review!


	4. Episode 4: The Oracle Returns

And here's Episode 4!

JakandJim- Yeah, I agree, Episode 2 was pretty weak. Maybe I should've just merged with Episode 1... oh well. At least I'll learn from my mistakes, hopefully...

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 4

By Derald Snyder

 _Date: ?_

 _12:06 AM_

 _Leanbox Basilicom- Hallway_

Peach was abruptly woken from her sleep by a strange noise. Guided by military instinct, she whipped off her covers and rolled off her cot into a kneeling position. Shaking her head to clear the fogginess from her mind, she listened carefully, hearing the door gently shut. (What the- I thought I locked that... no, I *know* I did...!) Which meant either the person had a key, or was a really good lockpick.

Though Peach was currently dressed in only a t-shirt and panties, it wouldn't stop her from doing what was necessary to protect Lady Vert... She waited, controlling her breathing as she heard the intruder climb up the stairs... "Lady Vert, I'm coming for yoooooouuu...!" a female voice sing-songed.

(Not on my watch, assassin,) The bodyguard vowed, waiting for the right moment to strike... eventually, a slender figure came into view, wearing a bow on her head, heading straight for Vert's bedroom...

(NOW!) Peach lunged forward, catching the other woman in a headlock before slamming her into the opposite wall.

"What the-?!" the intruder protested as Peach grabbed her by the throat and pinned her.

"Who are you and what are you doing in Lady Vert's Basilicom?!" the soldier demanded, loosening her grip just enough for the other girl to speak.

"LADY VERT, HELP-!" the intruder screamed aloud, before getting choked again.

"You didn't answer my question, bitch!" Peach growled. Just then, the door to Vert's room slammed open, flooding the hallway with light, the goddess herself running out to see what was going on.

"Peach, what are you doing?!" Vert gasped.

"Caught an intruder, Lady Vert," the bodyguard answered, the other girl squirming ineffectively in her grip.

"Oh, for-" the CPU sighed. "That's my Oracle you're choking, Peach..."

"Huh?!" Now that the hallway was better lit, Peach could get a better look at the woman, seeing she had bright green hair. "Y-you're Chika Hakozaki?!"

"-YES!" Chika managed to get out. The blonde promptly released her, letting her slide to the floor, gasping and coughing as Vert ran over to check on her.

"Oh my Goddess, I am *so* sorry!" Peach apologized profusely, clasping her hands in distress. "I thought you were an assassin or something!"

"*cough* Lady Vert, who is this broad...?" Chika groaned as her goddess helped her up.

"That 'broad' is my bodyguard, and a former soldier in Leanbox's army," Vert asserted. "Honestly, Chika, you should have sent advance notice that you were coming..."

"I wanted to surprise you...!" Chika weakly protested as she leaned against the wall. "And since when did you need a bodyguard, anyway...?" Her eyes then went wide as something occurred to her. "W-wait, Lady Vert, don't tell me... you got someone new to replace me since I was gone so long! Say it isn't so, Lady Vert...!"

"Chika, please," Vert sighed as she rubbed her temples. "There's no need for that. Of *course* I haven't replaced you..."

"Yeah, my title's 'bodyguard', not 'Oracle'," Peach pointed out.

"Anyway, how about we go down to the kitchen, and talk things over?" the busty CPU suggested. "I'll make us some tea..."

 _12:15 AM_

 _Leanbox Basilicom- Kitchen_

Chika took a long pull from her teacup before setting it down. "So then, you're a combat instructor...?"

" _Former_ combat instructor," Peach clarified. "They kicked me out when they found out I was a woman..."

"Well, that seems unfair," Chika shook her head. "This is Neptunia, after all, what did they expect?"

"At least I got an honorable discharge, if nothing else," Peach shrugged, as she sipped her tea.

"She and her mother were on the edge of poverty before Peach managed to get into the army, thanks to her boyfriend," Vert explained. "I first met her when her boyfriend was arrested on false charges, and she tried to testify in his defense. Unfortunately, that was what led her to being exposed and discharged... Long story short, I took pity on her and hired her into my service, so she wouldn't slip back into poverty again..."

Chika sighed and chuckled. "I should've known... that's just so like you, Lady Vert..."

"Just so we're clear, Miss Hakozaki... my relationship with Lady Vert is completely professional," Peach asserted. "That was one my conditions for taking this job..."

"And I have abided by it," Vert affirmed. "Peach and I may have played some video games together, but that's as far as it's gone. And no BL games, either..."

"In fact, I haven't even slept in your old room," Peach added. "Granted, someone else was using it when I was hired, but..."

"Someone else...?" Chika's eye twitched slightly.

"Peach's boyfriend's lawyer," The CPU elaborated. "She was originally on vacation from Lowee, and she needed a place to sleep, so..." (No need to tell her it was Rei Ryghts, of all people...)

"...Fair enough," Chika deferred. "Just as long as he or she didn't touch anything they weren't supposed to..."

Vert shook her head. "To my knowledge, the only thing she touched beside the bed was the game console."

"Yeah, I haven't even gone in there to clean up," Peach added. "Kinda afraid of what I'll find in there..."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" the Leanbox Oracle inquired.

"Yes, Peach, what do you mean?" Vert concurred.

The blonde's eyes went wide as she began to blush red. "U-umm... n-nothing... nothing at all, hee hee..."

"Peach..." the CPU pressed.

"Argh!" Peashy bowed her head and clutched at her hair. "J-just... rumors I heard... th-that's all..."

"What kind of rumors?" Vert demanded.

Peach squeaked in distress, her face beet red now. "U-un... unsavory rumors..."

Chika understood the implications at once. "Oh, for- you too?! For Goddess' sake, I am *not* involved in an illicit relationship with Lady Vert! Just because I give her massages and play some BL games with her, people have to blow things way out of proportion! Unbelievable...!"

"I'm sorryyyyyy...!" Peach moaned, unable to look either woman in the eye.

"Chika, that will be quite enough," Vert sighed. "While I am glad to have you back, you and Peach are going to have to learn to get along. I won't tolerate any in-fighting in my Basilicom, understand?"

Chika took a breath to try and calm herself. "Of course Lady Vert, I understand. But I won't hesitate to correct the record if Miss Peachy here has any other misconceptions about you and me!"

"Peashy, not Peachy..." the bodyguard sighed.

"Peashy...?" the Oracle blinked. "Lady Vert, you even have a *pet name* for her...?!"

"That's the nickname her *mother* and *boyfriend* call her by," Vert clarified, again rubbing her temples.

Now it was Chika's turn to blush. "Oh, right... of course... sorry about that..."

"Look, Miss Hakozaki," Peach interjected, "Obviously we got off on the wrong foot... so how about we go to bed, get some sleep, and start fresh in the morning?" She extended her open hand as an offer of truce...

"...well, all right," Chika agreed, grasping her hand to shake...

 _*CRUNCH!*_

 _"EEYYOOOOWWWW-!"_

"Oooooops," Peach grimaced. "I forget my own strength sometimes..."

*Episode 4- End*


	5. Episode 5: Scary Story Night

It's time for Episode 5!

ookami486- You forgot to mention, 'revenge prank: foiled'.

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 5

By Derald Snyder

To say that Adrian felt like the odd man out was an understatement. With emphasis on the 'man' part. Still, it was nice of Vert to allow him to tag along with Peashy for a CPU get-together in Lastation, where they told scary stories around a campfire.

...though Noire's story-telling skills left something to be desired.

"And then, and then," the Lastation CPU hyperventilated, "the lady felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned, and THERE WAS THE GHOST! _AIEEEEE!"_ She finished, throwing her hands in the air.

Crickets chirped.

"...oh, come on!" Noire protested. "Wasn't that even a little bit scary?"

"Not really," Adrian spoke up.

"Yeeeeaah, you get *way* too excited when you're trying to tell a story, Noire..." Neptune muttered.

"The story might have been scary, but your delivery was horrible," Vert supplied.

"For once, I agree with Thunder Tits," Blanc agreed. "You might have done better reading it out of a storybook."

"Yeah, that sucked," said Ram, sitting on Blanc's right side, while Rom sat on the left.

"Reading it out of a storybook? Like you're one to talk, Miss 'I-can't-write-a-bestseller-to-save-my-life'!" Noire retorted.

"What was that, bitch?!" The Lowee CPU growled, one eye glowing red.

"Whoa whoa _whoa!"_ Peach jumped in between them. "We're here to tell stories, not restart the Console Wars! Both of you, lay off!"

"Please, Noire! I don't want to fight with Nepgear here!" Uni pleaded.

Noire simply 'hmph'ed and turned away. "Fine, whatever..."

"You think you can tell me what do to just because you're more 'mature' than me?" Blanc hissed at Peach.

"That's not it at all!" Peach insisted, flushing as she crossed her arms over her breasts. "In fact, I'll go on record saying that I hate these oversized things!"

"You do?!" Vert gasped in surprise.

The former soldier turned to her goddess. "With all due respect, Lady Vert... You were born a CPU, so you probably never had to suffer through high school like I did! You have no idea how many horny teenagers I had to pound into mashed potato because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves!" She then turned back to Blanc. "Believe me, Lady Blanc, having these grabbed by a pervert is one of the worst things in the world! Be thankful you don't have to suffer my curse!"

"...I honestly wouldn't mind," the flat-chested goddess responded after a moment.

"Every day? Over and over again?" Peach pressed.

"...Well, that's where my hammer would come in."

 **"SILENCE!"** a voice boomed from the darkness.

"What the goodness?!" screamed Nepgear.

"Waaaahh!" Rom cried out, grabbing her sister's leg. "Wh-who said that?!"

 **"I DID,"** the voice answered. In the darkness beyond the campfire's light, something suddenly flashed on, revealing a disembodied face!

 _"AAAAAHH!_ A ghost!" Uni screamed as she dove behind her sister. "D-don't let it get me, Noire!"

"Ugh, Uni, it's just Neptune with a flashlight under her chin," Noire sighed.

"I-I knew that!" Ram said, though her voice wavered slightly. "Y-you didn't fool me for a second!"

"I-it scared me..." Rom squeaked, still holding tightly to Blanc.

"Pretty sure you both screamed," muttered Neptune as she shut the flashlight off and walked back into view. "Anyway, now that we've re-established the atmosphere... I've got a story to tell!"

"*You* have a scary story?" Noire scoffed. "This oughta be good..."

"Well, it can't be any worse than what we've heard so far..." Vert said with a shrug.

"Just try not to overload it with meta dialogue and cheesy memes, Lady Neptune," Adrian advised.

"Yeah, what he said," Peashy agreed.

Neptune just sighed. "Look, I know you two are from Leanbox, but have a little faith in me here, OK?" She then cleared her throat. "Now then, ladies..."

"-Ahem!"

"-and gentleman..."

"Thank you," Adrian nodded.

"The story you are about to hear... is true."

"Oh no..." moaned Nepgear. "This isn't about my robot project going berserk, is it?"

"Now *that* was scary," Uni groaned. "I was there, after all..."

"Um, no," the purple-haired goddess sighed. "C'mon guys, stop ruining the atmosphere..."

"Yes, pipe down everyone," Vert insisted. "Let's at least give Neptune a chance..."

"Thanks, Vert. Anyway..." Neptune began. "This is a story about a lovely little girl, who was cute as a button, very friendly, loved dolls, and also liked to go on picnics."

"I know what you're all thinking, 'not so scary', right? But this sweet girl had a hidden darkness inside her... a darkness that was just waiting for its chance to escape. A darkness that would strike fear in everyone across Gamindustri!"

"One day, the sweet little girl went on a picnic by the river, with a friend of hers promising to join her later. She set down the basket and laid out the blanket... and that's when she saw it... a strange crystal that had spawned out of some strange flower of sorts. Curiously, the girl picked up the crystal, and after examining it from all sides, decided it must be some sort of candy, and ate it."

"Dummy," Ram muttered under her breath, before being shushed by Blanc.

"But that was just the chance the darkness in her heart had been waiting for, for this crystal was actually a source of great power! Using this power, the darkness took control... her body began to transform! She grew taller... her hair unbraided and flowed free... her legs became long and toned, before being encased in long black boots with high heels! Her bust size grew to extremely sexy proportions! Her clothes vanished and were replaced by a skimpy corset, cut to show off her belly, long black gloves with dark pink gauntlets, and and a black choker around her neck!"

"When the transformation was complete, the sweet little girl was gone, replaced by an evil, sadistic, dominatrix CPU!"

 _"Eeeeeeek!"_ Peach squealed as she wrapped her arms around Adrian in fright.

"A dominatrix CPU?! OK, *that's* scary..." Adrian shuddered. "And Peashy, you're squishing me...!"

"O-oh, sorry," the blonde apologized as she loosened up a little.

"Oh, hell, I know who's she's taking about..." Blanc muttered.

"So do we!" cried Ram as she and Rom held tightly to each other.

"And it's *still* scary!" Rom agreed.

"But the story doesn't end there!" Neptune exclaimed as she continued her tale. "After the transformation was complete, a fairy materialized and congratulated the woman on becoming a CPU... only for said woman to bring out a riding crop and subject said fairy to cruel, painful torture!"

"Oh goodness!" squeaked Nepgear. "The poor thing...!"

"And then, the sweet girl's friend finally arrived to join the picnic. But when she saw what had become of her friend, she tried to run away, only to be caught by the evil CPU's whip, and suffer a similar fate as the fairy!"

"Oh no...!" cried Uni. "Poor Noire..."

"W-wait, _what?!_ " Noire spoke up. "*I'm* the one that was tortured?! What the heck? What did I do to deserve this, Neptune?!"

"You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time," Neptune sighed. "And so, the woman's reign of terror began... subjugating man and woman alike throughout the land, founding her own nation, one where subjects served not out of faith, but out of fear! Occasionally, she would revert back to the sweet little girl she was before, but anybody who knew her knew better than to try to push her too far, lest the darkness in her heart take over again!"

"Her friend eventually tried to rectify the situation by becoming a CPU herself, in order to have the power to stand up to the evil dominatrix... though she managed to succeed, and recruit another CPU to help her, their combined powers still weren't enough! Case in point, when said friend was complained too much about how Lowee was screwing her over, the dominatrix 'disciplined' her for over two hours!"

"T-two hours?!" Adrian gasped.

"And when she was done, her friend was like this..." Neptune's eyes shrunk to white circles, and she began to walk around haltingly, robotically... "I AM GOING DIRECTLY TO LOWEE... I AM GOING... THEY WILL HEAR ME COMPLAIN DIRECTLY. IN LOWEE. I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN DIRECTLY... GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND..."

"Sh-she did *that* to me?!" Noire gasped, sweating a little. "Please tell me you're exaggerating..."

"I AM NOT... EXGGERATING..." Neptune intoned, as she marched over to where Noire and Uni were sitting. "I AM TELLING THE TRUTH... YOU WENT DIRECTLY TO LOWEE... TO COMPLAIN DIRECTLY..."

"Alright, we get the idea," Blanc sighed in exasperation. "I almost feel sorry for that other Noire... almost."

"Almost?!" Noire protested. "Ha! I wonder what happened to *you* once that other me 'complained directly' to your face!"

"I don't wanna know!" Peashy shivered in terror, hugging Adrian tightly.

"Um, Peashy, your boyfriend can't breathe..." Nepgear pointed out, indicating Adrian's blue face.

"Huh...? Oh no!" Peach gasped as she let go, the soldier sliding bonelessly to the ground. "I-I am so sorry, Adrian!"

 _"AIR!"_ Adrian gasped, his face rapidly regaining its color. "Sweet air..."

"It's OK, Big Peashy," Neptune reassured her. "All that stuff went down in another dimension, so you *should* be safe... But beware!" her tone of voice suddenly changed. "If you ever get sucked into some random portal like I do, you better watch your back... and hope you never cross paths with the horror known as... **IRIS HEART."**

The twins from Lowee squeaked with fright as they cowered behind Blanc, Uni doing the same thing with her sister, while Nepgear seemed to have closed the distance between her and Vert a fair amount.

"U-umm... I-I'll do that," Peach nodded vigorously. "OK, I think I-I've had enough s-scary stories f-for one n-night..."

"Yeah, I think the kids have had enough too..." Blanc sighed as she looked behind her.

"I-I'm not scared!" Ram cried defiantly. "I-I'm just t-trying to comfort p-poor Rom!"

"Uni, quit hiding behind me already," Noire groaned as she stood up. "I mean, sure, Neptune's delivery might've been better than mine, but I've heard way scarier stories than that..."

"Suuuuure," Neptune teased as she got in her fellow CPU's face. "Then why didn't you tell any of *those* stories at the campfire, huh?"

"B-because I don't want Uni to have nightmares!" Noire retorted, flushing slightly. "Or Rom and Ram, for that matter!"

"Dummy!" Ram yelled back. "I don't *get* nightmares!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that..." muttered Blanc as she got to her feet. "Still, I guess Ms. 'I-don't-like-my-big-tits' has a point... We should probably all turn in for the night."

"Agreed," Vert nodded. "I wanted to check on my 4GO account anyway..."

"If you're gonna get on your MMO, keep the volume down!" Noire warned. "It was hard enough getting to sleep with you doing virtual raids the last time! You probably know where I'm coming from, don't you, Peach?"

Peach just shrugged in response. "Actually, Lady Vert's MMO playing is nothing compared to a sudden midnight bombing practice run at the army base..."

"I second that opinion," her boyfriend sighed as he poured water over the campfire. "Anyway, since I'm the only man here, where am I gonna be sleeping?"

"I thought you'd just sleep with your girlfriend," the Lastation CPU shrugged.

"Just try not to make too much noise, 'K?" Neptune winked.

"W-wh-wha-" Both Peach and Adrian blushed crimson. "W-we haven't g-gotten *that* far with our relationship y-yet!" the busty blonde protested.

"Y-yeah," Adrian concurred, "W-we were gonna wait 'til we actually tied the knot before we do... that...!"

"What are they talking about, big sis?" Ram asked Blanc.

"I wanna know, too..." said Rom.

 _"N-none of your business!"_ Blanc denied them, blushing a bit herself. "C'mon, let's get you two to bed..."

With that, the group retired for the night...

~*Fin*~


	6. Episode 6: Mysterious Present

Here comes episode 6! This is the first in a short storyline where Peach meets an old friend, of sorts...

GX-Nepgear- Just imagine what will happen when Iris Heart appears for real...

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- Thanks for the idea! You've inspired the opening for this next chapter... ;)

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 6

By Derald Snyder

Adrian Harold Johns was certainly not what one would call 'spineless'.

As a soldier in the Leanbox Army, he'd learned quickly to control his fear and not let it rule over his decision-making process. And while he hadn't exactly risen through the ranks (mostly due to politics), there was no denying he was one of the best soldiers Leanbox could have...

That being said, even he knew when it was time for a tactical retreat.

 **"OUT!"**

Adrian barely dodged the chair flung at him, feeling one its legs briefly catch his shirt before tumbling away. "Augh, I'm sorry, Peashy~!"

 **"OUT! OUT!** ** _OUT!"_** Peach screamed in red-faced embarrassment, one arm covering her bare assets, as she flung whatever she could get her hands on with her other arm. "I don't *care* if you're my boyfriend, you have _not_ earned the right to see this yet!"

"I didn't know!" Adrian protested as he fled. "I swear to the goddess, I didn't know...!" He ran into the kitchen, where he appeared to be out of range of his beloved's wrath...

"My, that didn't go over very well, did it?" Adrian looked up at the source of the voice- Chika Hazozaki, who was currently stirring some dough in a large bowl.

"Oracle!" he gasped as he tried to catch his breath, "Why didn't you tell me Peashy was getting dressed?"'

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? I am *so* sorry..." Chika's voice practically dripped with sarcasm.

 _"Damn it,_ Hazozaki!" Peach's voice echoed from the next room over. "I should've known...!"

Adrian's embarrassment dissipated, swiftly replaced with anger as he realized he'd been played. "Why, Oracle... just- why?!"

"Just wanted to see how Peashy would react," Chika smirked.

The Leanbox soldier shook his head. "You know, I'm disinclined to hit women, but you pull another stunt like this, and I will _drop_ you."

"I'll let him," a voice spoke up from behind the Oracle, causing her to whip around, coming eye-to-eye with a quite displeased CPU.

"L-Lady Vert!" Chika squeaked. "C-come on, i-it was just a joke!"

"No one is laughing," the goddess intoned sternly, her arms crossed. "And that recipe you're making... there's only enough for two people. I believe we've _discussed_ this before, Chika..."

"Lady Vert..."

"You're sleeping on the cot tonight," Vert declared, causing a low piano chord to go off in her Oracle's brain as her skin paled and her eye shrunk to white circles.

"And it was in that moment, she knew, she'd mucked up," Adrian narrated.

"Serves her right," muttered Peach as she walked into the kitchen, finally dressed. "I try to make nice with her, and this is the thanks I get..."

"At least *one* of you is trying to get along..." Vert sighed. "That aside, why are you here, Adrian?"

"Umm..." the man briefly put a hand behind his head. "It's kind of a strange story... you remember that Orange Heart character?"

"How could I forget?!" Peach growled. "She completely ruined our prank on Neptune! Destroyed all the evidence, _and_ your mobile device!"

"Yeah, what's worse, I had to buy a new one at full price, 'cause my insurance agent was like, 'Well, if a CPU destroyed your phone, you must have deserved it somehow!' Sheesh..." Adrian then cleared his throat. _"Anyway..._ I ran into her when I got off duty, and she said she had a message for you from Nepsy- I assume she meant Lady Neptune- as well as a 'late Valentine's present' as she called it."

"So what was the message?" Vert asked curiously.

"Basically, that Peach is invited to the Planeptune Basilicom, because little Peashy is over there today, and there was someone else she wanted Peach to meet as well..."

"So where's the present?" Peach asked.

"Left it outside," her boyfriend responded. "Didn't want to take the chance of it being another revenge-prank..."

"Not a bad idea," Vert nodded. "Perhaps you should put your armor on before you try opening it, Peach..." The other blonde nodded and went to retrieve her armor. "As for you, Chika..."

"I know, Lady Vert," the green haired-woman nodded vigorously. "I have to make food for Macintosh..."

"And?" Vert raised an eyebrow.

Chika flushed. "A-and I'll make sure it doesn't give her gas or make her sick this time!" Vert nodded in satisfaction, before turning and walking out of the kitchen...

 _*Later, outside the Basilicom...*_

Peach, in full body armor, cautiously approached the gift-wrapped box with a purple bow on top, while Adrian and Vert stood at a safe distance. The soldier gingerly grabbed one of the ribbons, before yanking, the bow becoming undone as a result.

Nothing else happened.

The blonde soldier approached again, putting one hand underneath the lid, before flipping it up and off the box, then rolling away in one smooth motion.

Again, nothing. No explosions, bursts of paint, or anything else.

"If there was a trap, you think it would have been set off by now," Vert observed.

"When you think you might be dealing with a trap, take nothing for granted," said Adrian. "Even when you think you've disarmed the trap, it's a good idea to stay alert, just in case..."

Which was exactly what Peashy was doing, as she inched her way back up to box, before looking inside...

"What the... dolls?" she muttered in confusion, as she reached into the box.

"Dolls?" Vert repeated, slowly walking towards Peach as she pulled a Neptune doll out. "My, that's adorable..."

"The dolls themselves could be booby-trapped," Adrian pointed out.

Peach experimentally squeezed the Neptune doll, before shaking her head. "I don't feel anything but stuffing in this one." She set the doll aside and pulled out the next one. "Is this... me?"

"More like you as a little kid," her boyfriend muttered. "Still kinda cute, though."

After checking to make sure this doll also was not booby-trapped, Peach reached into the box and pulled out the last doll... it was dressed in light colored pajamas, with deep purple hair tied in a single large braid.

"Who's that?" Adrian asked confusedly.

"I believe that's supposed to be Planeptune's CPU from the Ultradimension," Vert explained. Her name is-"

"Plutia..." Peach spoke up.

"That's right!" gasped Vert. "How did you know?"

Peach did not answer, as she continued to stare at the doll in her hands, which were slightly shaking. "It can't be..." she whispered. Abruptly she straightened up, before turning and walking up to her goddess, then removing her helmet to look her in the eye.

"Lady Vert... I need to go to Planeptune, _A-SAP!"_

 _*To be continued...*_


	7. Episode 7: Enter Plutia

And now, Episode lucky number 7!

Guest- cliffhanger over! XD

JakandJim- Sorry, no fights this episode...

Author Heart- Ance Xila Scott- I'll take your ideas under advisement...

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 7

by Derald Snyder

 _*Planeptune Basilicom- Entrance*_

Green Heart and Peach(again casually dressed) touched down outside the Basilicom, Green Heart's transformation reverting shortly thereafter as Peach promptly started for the entrance...

"Be careful," gasped Vert as she recovered from her long flight, "Little Peashy might be waiting to tackle you when you open the door..."

"I'm ready for her," Peach asserted as she opened said door...

What she *wasn't* prepared for, however, was a full-sized Yellow Heart barreling through the door, scooping her 'sister' up in a bear hug and swinging her around.

"Yay! You came, big sis!" Yellow screamed in joy, unknowingly squishing Peach's face into her massive mammaries. "I'm soooo happy to see you again!"

"Peashy, dear, I don't think your sister can breathe..." Vert pointed out.

"Huh?" Yellow Heart looked down at Peach, whose arms were flailing as she tried to remove her head from the other woman's I-cups... "Oopsie!" The HDD CPU promptly loosened up, allowing her sister to catch her breath...

"*gasp* So that's what... they mean by... 'marshmallow hell'..." Peach groaned as she fell to her knees, swirls in her eyes...

"Why are you in HDD, anyway?" Vert inquired.

"Huh? Oh! Well..." Yellow Heart dug the toe of her boot into the ground. "I kinda wanted to play with that Usu-me lady, but I can't find her anywhere..."

"That's likely because it was Uzume who extended the invitation for us to come here," Vert explained. "Though I have no idea where she is at the moment..."

"Aw, phooey..." Yellow Heart sighed as she let her transformation revert, becoming five-year-old Peashy once more. "Maybe big sis can play with me instead...?"

"Maybe later, Peashy..." Peach sighed as she got to her feet. "Right now, I want to see... Plutia..."

"You wanna see Ploot? OK!" Peashy grabbed her 'sister's' hand, pulling her along... "This way, big sis!" Peach could only chuckle as she let herself be pulled along, Vert following after them...

 _*Planeptune Basilicom- Neptune's Room*_

"Hey, Big Peashy, P-ko!" Neptune greeted as the two came in. "So, you got Uzume's invite, huh?"

"Actually, Adrian did," Peach clarified. "Those were cute dolls you made for me, though..."

"Aw, I wanna doll too!" Peashy whined.

"You've got plenty of dolls back home, P-ko!" Neptune sighed as she sweat-dropped. "And I wasn't the one that made those for you, either..."

"I know! It was Ploot!" Peashy spoke up. "So where's Ploot, Neptuna? Big sis really wants to meet her!"

"Did you want something, Peashy...?" Another voice spoke up from beyond the next door over, causing Peach's breath to catch in her throat... Even after all these years, she still knew that voice...

Another girl walked in, with messy violet hair done into a single braid, ruby red eyes set into a cute, smiling face, light-purple pajamas with a skirt, cute bunny slippers, and holding a Neptune doll in one hand. "Eeeeehh? Oh, is this the big, grown-up Peashy Neppy was telling me about...?"

"Yep! That's my big sister!" Peashy declared proudly.

Neptune then cleared her throat. "Plutie, I'd like you to meet Peach C. Macintosh, Vert's bodyguard and former Leanbox Army soldier. Peach, this is Plutia, Planeptune's CPU from the Ultradimension."

"Huh? You live in Leanbox?" Plutia asked confusedly.

"She was born in Planeptune, then moved to Leanbox later," Vert clarified as she walked up behind Peach, who seemed to have frozen in place.

"You're... Plutia...?" The blonde's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Thaaaat's me~!" Plutia exclaimed with a smile. "Did you like the dolls I made for you?"

Peach didn't answer as she slowly, haltingly walked up to the Ultradimension CPU, a haunted look in her eyes, before kneeling down in front of her to get a better look at her face. "It really is you..." Then, unexpectedly, she grabbed the purple-haired girl in a bear hug.

"Waaaaaahh!" cried Plutia as she was squeezed tightly. "A-a 'thank you' would've been good enough...!"

"Big Peashy, are you... crying?!" Neptune exclaimed as she observed the scene.

Indeed, large tears were rolling down the blonde's cheeks as she took in the scent of Plutia's hair. "I can't believe it... it's been so many years..."

"Y-years...?!" Plutia gasped out. "But this is... the first time... we've met...! And I can't... breathe...!"

"O-oh, sorry," Peach apologized as she loosened up, putting her hands on the other girl's shoulders instead as she looked Plutia in the eye. "That's a bad habit of mine, I'm afraid..."

"Must run in the family," Neptune muttered. "I can remember one or two times I've gotten squished pretty good when P-ko hugs me in her HDD form..."

"But I love you, Neptuna!" Peashy exclaimed. "And when you love someone, you give them a big hug!"

"Why do you think I hug you, little Peashy?" Vert cut in.

"Whoa, _time out!"_ Neptune declared as something occurred to her. "Rewind that tape! What's this you said about 'years' since you last saw Plutie, Big Peashy?"

"Huh? You mean you've met Ploot before?" Peashy inquired curiously.

"Wait, are you saying... that Plutia exists in this dimension as well?!" Vert deduced.

Peach wiped the tears from her face before turning back to her goddess. "Well, it's a long story... and even longer when I tell it... so I'd like to have to only explain it once... Lady Vert, maybe you could call the other CPUs and have them come here, so I can just tell everyone all at once?"

Vert nodded. "Very well... Neptune, perhaps you could call Blanc, while I contact Noire?"

"Sure," the other CPU nodded as she pulled out her cell phone...

 _*To be continued...*_


	8. Episode 8: Childhood Memories

Episode 8 is live! We learn a bit about Peach's past here...

DaToskin- BZZZZZT! Wrong! *insert The Price Is Right losing horns here*

Author Candidate-James Scott- Sadly, you won't be seeing Hyper!Plutia anytime soon, for reasons that this chapter will make abundantly clear...

ookami486- Wait no more, the next episode has arrived!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 8

by Derald Snyder

 _*Planeptune Basilicom- A few hours later*_

Histoire watched as Noire walked into the room. "Well, it seems everyone is here now..." Indeed, the CPUs were gathered in a semicircle, with little Peashy sitting in Vert's lap.

"This had better be important!" The Lastation CPU protested. "I've got tons of work back home, you know!"

"Like the rest of us don't?" Blanc stated.

"Take it easy, Lonely Heart," Neptune sighed. "This won't be a waste of time, OK?"

"That's debatable!" Noire scoffed.

"Did you get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?" Blanc sighed.

"Like you would care!" the twin-tailed brunette retorted.

"Hey, that's enough fighting," Plutia spoke up. "I might get angry..."

"Urk!" The two quibbling CPUs immediately fell deathly silent.

"...Wow. Remind me never to get you angry, Plutia," muttered Peach, who had the purple-haired CPU sitting in her lap.

"Hehehe..." Plutia giggled, unnerving almost everyone present.

"M-maybe you should get on with your story now," Neptune muttered.

"Y-yes, please," Nepgear concurred.

"Alright," Peach nodded, biting her lip as she pondered where to begin. "...well, as most of you know, I was born right here in Planeptune, and spent my preteen years here. And my best friend at the time was a sickly girl named... Plutia."

"W-what?!" Noire gasped. "S-so Plutia exists here, too?!"

"That doesn't surprise me in the least," said Blanc. "If there's a Peashy that exists both here and there, why not the same for her, too?"

"Wait, you said your friend was... sickly?" Nepgear inquired curiously.

Peach nodded. "Yeah, something about a weak immune system... she was inside a lot, and- from what I remember, anyway- the only times she went outside was when I dragged her out myself. She never complained, though- honestly, I think she was secretly glad I did that. Even if she ended up catching something and was bedridden for weeks... her parents would get mad at me for that, but Plutia never blamed me..."

"Still, it's kinda hinky..." Neptune interrupted. "Plutie, were you ever sick a lot, before you became a CPU?"

"Noooo... I don't think so..." Plutia pondered with a finger to her chin. "I mean, I got the chicken pox like everyone else, and I ended up getting Noire sick, too... we had to share a bed together..." She then smiled. "Looking back, that was kinda fun..."

"I _highly_ doubt the other me would agree with that," Noire objected. "I know *I* wouldn't..."

"You know what they say, 'misery loves company'..." Blanc muttered.

"Probably why Chika pretends to be sick so often," Vert put in her two cents.

 _"*A-hem!*"_ Peach cleared her throat loudly. "If I could return to my story...?" Vert nodded and gestured 'go ahead' to her, the other CPUs quieting down. "So anyway, things pretty much kept going on like that, until one day, when I was 10 going on 11... Plutia had gotten sick again, and was admitted to the hospital, so I went to go see her..."

"Oh, boy, I see where this is going," sighed Neptune. "Aaaaand cue scene change..."

 _*Planeptune City Hospital, 18 years ago*_

10-year-old Peach walked into Plutia's room, dressed in a yellow and black striped shirt and black shorts. "Ploot? Are you awake?" She pulled up a chair and stood on it to get a look at her friend.

Plutia's eyes opened as she smiled at her, though said eyes showed a hint of sadness. "Hi, Peashy..."

"Hi!" Peashy beamed back. "So, how long you gonna be sick this time? You gonna come home soon?"

Plutia's smile faded. "I... I'm afraid not, Peashy... not this time..."

"Huh? What do ya mean?" the blonde asked confusedly.

"Listen, Peashy..." Plutia shifted up on her pillow a bit so she could look friend in the eye better. "I'm going to be leaving soon... I'm going far away... to a beautiful city in the clouds..."

"Really?" Peashy gasped. "Wow, that sounds amazing! So when you coming back?"

"I'm not coming back," the sickly girl shook her head. "It's a one way trip, I'm afraid..."

"Huh...? N-not coming back?!" Peashy couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Why not?!"

"That's what... the doctors said," Plutia explained. "Once you go there, you can never come back, ever..."

"Then let me go with you!" Peashy insisted, throwing her arms up. "I don't want to leave you...!"

"Peashy. Listen to me." Plutia said with a stern voice. "Are you listening?"

"What?" the other girl demanded, trying not to cry.

"You need to stay here," Plutia insisted. "I want you to live your life... to the fullest. To put in 100% effort, everyday. And I want you... to make new friends. Don't ever forget me, though..."

"I could never forget you!" Peashy cut in. "Never _ever!"_

"That's good," the purple-haired girl nodded, smiling. "But did you hear what I said...?"

"Make new friends, and put 100% effort into every day," the blonde recited.

"Good... good girl, Peashy. And when I get to that beautiful city in the clouds, I'll tell everyone I can about you... about the best friend I had in Gamindustri..." Plutia smiled again.

"That's right!" Peashy nodded. "You're my bestest best friend in the whole wide world, Plutia!" Climbing up onto the bed, she grabbed the other girl in a big hug. "I'm gonna miss you..."

"I'll miss you too, Peashy," Plutia sighed, as tears streamed down her cheeks...

 _*Planeptune Basilicom, Present Day*_

"...that was the last time I saw her," Peach sighed, wiping a tear from her eye. "Her mom and dad said it was all my fault, and my dad ran out on Mom and me not long after, and we ended up moving to Leanbox..." She looked up, and saw that there was nary a dry eye among the CPUs, save for little Peashy, who looked more confused than anything.

"She... she had a terminal illness?" Noire grunted.

"That... that's so sad...!" Nepgear sniffled.

"Are you saying I... I _died?"_ Plutia asked.

"You're not dead, Ploot!" Little Peashy protested. "You're right here!"

"She's talking about another Plutia, Peashy..." Vert explained. "That Plutia was your big sister's best friend... And that city in the clouds she was talking about was heaven..."

Peashy blinked for a few moments before everything clicked. "W-wait, big sis... your Ploot died and went to heaven?!" Tears began to well up in her eyes... "No... NO! NO! NO NO NO! THAT'S NOT FAIR! _UWAAAAAAHHHH!"_ The little CPU threw herself to the ground, pounding her fists and feet on the floor as she wailed. "It's not fair! It's not fair...!"

Immediately Vert and Neptune were on their feet, but Vert was faster, scooping up Peashy and holding her in her bosom... "Shhh, don't cry, Peashy..."

"It's not fair... it's not fair...!" the five-year-old wailed as she lightly pounded on Vert's shoulder. Just then, the door opened, Compa walking in.

"What happened? Did Peashy get hurt, Nep-Nep?" the nurse inquired.

"No, she's just really upset," Neptune sighed. "Why don't you get P-ko some pudding? Maybe that'll calm her down..."

"OK," Compa agreed as she walked up to Vert and Peashy. "Do you want some pudding, Peashy?"

"Pudding...?" Peashy sniffled a bit. "I guess so... but it's not fair..."

"You're right, it's not fair," Peach spoke up. "But that's just the way things are sometimes... but at least I have this Plutia now..." She gave the CPU sitting on her lap a little squeeze.

"It'll be fine, Peashy. Go with Compa, OK?" Plutia reassured her.

"*snif* OK..." Peashy sighed as Vert set her down, before Compa took her hand and escorted her out of the room.

"So..." Plutia turned to look at Peach. "Do you have any friends now?"

"Well, I have my boyfriend Adrian," the blonde answered. "And my fellow soldiers in Adrian's unit... I guess you could kinda count Lady Vert, too..." She bit her lip slightly. "I know you're a CPU and you've got important stuff to do back home, but... can you be my friend as well?"

"Of course!" Plutia closed her eyes and smiled. "I don't mind having another friend! Just... don't hug me too tight again, OK?"

"Deal," Peach chuckled, lightly embracing her newest friend.

And all the other CPUs in the room smiled, with tears in their eyes...

*Episode 8- End*

If you didn't tear up at any point during this story, you don't have a soul... Anyway, read and review!


	9. Episode 9: Beach Epi-NEPGYA!

After that tear-jerker last episode, we go back in time, to shortly after 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout', where Peach and Rei encounter an unsavory character on the beach...

Shout-out to Men-dont-scream on DeviantArt for inspiring this one!

Author Candidate-James Scott/GX-Nepgear- *hands out handkerchiefs*

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- Can you give Unknown another beating for me?

Guest- Being sad/depressed counts, yes...

MrNovaxc/DracoSlayer95- Looks I'll have to call Iris Heart... surely *she'll* make you cry...

ookami486- Sorry to dredge up painful memories...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 9

by Derald Snyder

 _August 23, 11:13 AM_

 _Hirool Beach, Leanbox_

The beach was quite lively, with men, women, and children alike having fun, whether by swimming in the water, playing volleyball, or tanning on the warm sand. Clearly people were making the best of summer's last days...

Including two women we are quite familiar with- Peach C. Macintosh and Rei Ryghts. Rei had her hair pulled up in a way that it curled around her horn protrusion, dressed in a blue bikini and wearing a purple hoodie over it. Peach was wearing a plain white T-shirt and black shorts, though she had a yellow bikini underneath.

"I-I hope I d-don't c-cause a p-panic here..." Rei worried.

"Well, that's why I'm here," Peach stated. "To help keep people's minds at ease. Besides, I doubt too many people will even notice you here..."

"I-I hope y-you're right..." the blue-haired lawyer sighed. She then spotted what appeared to be a familiar face, though her back was turned, with light purple hair that was adorned with a tropical flower. "I-isn't that Nepgear?"

"...Huh, it does kinda look like her from the back," Peach pondered. "But what's she doing here, if it is her?"

Rei pondered for a second, before starting towards the woman. "Well, m-might as well say hi..." Approaching cautiously, she tapped the girl on the shoulder. "H-hello Nepgear..."

She didn't respond for a few seconds. "...YOU THOUGHT IT WAS NEPGEAR..." She turned, revealing white circles with black outlines for eyes and a square mouth. "BUT IT WAS ME, **NEPGYA!"**

 _"AAAAHHH!"_ screamed Rei as she leapt into Peach's arms. "It's a trap!"

"Nep...gya?" Peach muttered in confusion. "OK, pardon my french, but what the hell?!" The not-Nepgear was dressed in a t-shirt over what appeared to be a purple-and-white striped bikini, with light purple sandals on her feet.

"I AM AN IMPERFECT CLONE OF THE CPU CANDIDATE OF PLANEPTUNE, CREATED BY AN UNKNOWN PARTY," Nepgya explained. "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

"I have a problem with you scaring poor Rei here out of her wits!" The blonde retorted as she set Rei back on her feet. "I think you owe her an apology... or else I'll give you a hands-on lesson in close-quarters combat!" She cracked her knuckles menacingly.

Nepgya pondered for a moment... "THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY. I APOLOGIZE FOR MY FRIGHTENING FACE."

"...Apology accepted," Rei sighed. "Believe me, I get frightened reactions from a lot of people myself..."

"BECAUSE YOU USED TO BE A FINAL BOSS, CORRECT?" Nepgya pointed out.

"Shhh! Ixnay on the upid-stay!" Rei hissed insistently.

"Too late," Peach sighed, watching as several people pointed at Rei and started whispering.

"OOPS. MY BAD," Nepgya stated. "LET US DEPART, THEN. FOLLOW ME." The weird-faced girl gestured for Peashy and Rei to follow as she walked off, the two women reluctantly following her...

Fortunately, no-one had decided to pursue the group, as they arrived in a more secluded area, with a bit more grass and a forest further down.

"PERHAPS THIS PLACE IS SOMEWHAT MORE DESIRABLE TO YOU," intoned Nepgya as they came to a stop. "WE SHOULD NOT BE DISTURBED HERE..."

"Let's hope so," sighed Peach. "The water looks a little murky though..."

"Th-there aren't a-any alligators in here, a-are there?" Rei asked nervously.

"NOPE," replied Nepgya.

"A-are you sure...?"

"A HUNDRED PERCENT," the Nepgear clone gave a thumbs-up.

"O-okay..." Rei nodded as she entered the water to wade around a bit... Peach was also wading around a bit, though she was looking closely at the water in case of any surprises... Looking over at her companion, she saw something moving toward her in the water!

 _"LOOK OUT, REI!"_ she shouted.

 _"EEEEEEEEEK!"_ the former goddess screamed as a large, reptilian creature with a rounded snout full of sharp teeth lunged at her. Fortunately, she and Peashy managed to scramble back up on shore in time. _"Y-you said there weren't any alligators!"_ she protested to Nepgya.

"THAT'S A CROCODILE," Nepgya clarified. "I DID NOT LIE."

"No, but you *did* mislead us into thinking it was safe to swim here!" Peach said angrily as she marched up to the weird-faced woman. "Looks like you want that lesson after all!"

"I WILL DEFEND MYSELF," Nepgya warned as she pulled a laser sword out of hammerspace.

"Watch out Peach!" Rei squeaked as Nepgya lunged, her sword arm a blur... but nothing happened.

"I think you missed," the blonde deadpanned.

"NO I DIDN'T," Nepgya retorted... as suddenly Peach's t-shirt and shorts were reduced to shreds, revealing her skimpy bikini underneath. _"HEY PERVERTS! FREE BOOBIES, RIGHT HERE!"_

There was a slight rumbling as a cloud of dust appeared on the horizon...

"BOOBIIIIEEEEESSS!" cried several men in swim trunks, with hearts in their eyes.

"Aw, _snap!"_ cried Peach, grabbing Rei and tucking her under her arm. "RUN AWAY!"

"AFTER HER!" declared Nepgya as the blonde ran for her life. (Well, more like her virginity, but you get the idea...)

"Where are we going?!" Rei cried as she was carried along by Peach.

"Away from them!" her companion answered, sand being kicked up by her feet as she continued to run... Despite the large crowd, she was doing a pretty good job at keeping ahead of them...

At least, until the sand gave way beneath her, dropping both girls into beach quicksand.

"Quicksand?!" cried Rei, her hands and legs already buried due to being dropped by Peach. "No fair!"

"Dammit, _NO!"_ Peach screamed as she pumped her legs and twisted her hips...

"Don't thrash around like that!" Rei warned. "You'll only make it worse...!" Sadly, said advice went unheeded, the blonde's struggles eventually causing them both to become hopelessly stuck in the classic damsel-in-distress pose, sunk breast-deep with their arms sunk in past the elbows, firmly stuck at their sides.

"Ewwww...!" Peach grunted in disgust at feeling the wet sand slime over her submerged body... looking down, she blushed red as she realized her D+ sized breasts were being pushed up slightly by the quicksand. "Could this get any worse?!"

"Could it get any better?!" several male voices answered. Peach looked up and saw to her horror that the entire quicksand pit was surround by the perverts, several of them drooling with hearts in their eyes. Nepgya stood across from the duo, her face unchanged, though Peach got the sinking feeling (no pun intended) that everything had gone according to the clone's plan...

"THE WAY I SEE IT, YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES," Nepgya stated. "EITHER THE PERVERTS PULL YOU OUT AND HAVE THEIR WAY WITH YOU, OR YOU DISAPPEAR BENEATH THE QUICKSAND AND BECOME FERTILIZER."

 _"HELL_ no!" the blonde protested. "I'm already promised to someone, thank you very much!"

"BUT AT LEAST YOU WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY," Nepgya pointed out. "YOU'RE A LAWYER, REI, MAKE HER SEE REASON..."

Rei didn't respond immediately, looking down for a second... before emitting a slow, sinister chuckle. "Or maybe I'll do what I do best and _turnabout_ this situation..."

"HOW, EXACTLY?" the clone taunted. "YOU'RE JUST AS STUCK AS SHE IS, AND YOU NO LONGER POSSESS THE POWER YOU ONCE HAD AS A FINAL BOSS..."

"OBJECTION!" Rei suddenly declared. "Yes, I lost my goddess power... but thanks to successfully defending several clients... _I GOT IT BACK."_

With that, the quicksand parted as a pillar of light erupted, temporarily blinding Nepgya and the perverts... When the light faded, Chaos Heart floated above them, holding an incredulous Peach with one hand.

"Haaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Rei laughed evilly. "*Now* do you see, Nepgya?! You and your army of perverts are nothing but a bunch of worms and maggots... to be put _six feet under!"_ With that, she unleashed a red ball of energy which impacted at the edge of the quicksand pit, not actually striking anyone, but the shockwave alone was enough to send several bodies flying.

"HOLY _SHIT!_ She's serious!" cried one of the perverts. "RUN AWAAAAAYY!" The army of males broke up and scattered in panic, as Rei fired several more blasts, sending perverts flying everywhere.

 _"Stop it!"_ cried Peach. "You're killing them!"

"Idiot, if I *wanted* them dead, they'd ALL be ashes now!" Chaos Heart retorted. "I'm just putting the fear of GOD into them! Hahahahaha!"

"How 'bout we focus on the ringleader?!" Peach suggested, pointing at the fleeing Nepgya.

"Ooooh, good idea! Time for that bitch to get her comeuppance!" With that, Rei took off at high speed, Peach screaming as she flailed in the wind despite the goddess' grip...

"HOW DID I MISCALCULATE SO BADLY?!" cried Nepgya as she ran, tears at the corners of her eyes. "I THOUGHT MY PLAN WAS PERFECT!" She was then forced to stop as Chaos Heart literally dropped in front of her.

"And just where do you think *you're* going, maggot?" Rei said with a psychotic smirk. Nepgya quickly turned around, only to collide with Peach, who just grinned and cracked her knuckles.

"DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER," the clone intoned, sweating profusely. "I'M GOING DOWN, AREN'T I?"

"Nope!" Peashy disagreed. "You're going *up*!" With that, she slammed Nepgya with a double-fisted uppercut that sent her high into the sky...

Where Rei was waiting for her. _"Now_ you're going down, bitch!" she cackled as she attacked with a brutal axe kick that sent Nepgya plummeting back down to Peach...

"And now you're going sideways!" the blonde declared as she hit Nepgya with a roundhouse kick that sent her flying over the horizon...

Rei easily caught up to Nepgya, getting in front before hitting the clone with a flip-kick that again sent her into the sky...

Peach then jumped up high, readying both fists as Nepgya approached...

 ***POW!***

"NEPGYYYYAAAAAAA!" the clone screamed as she streaked down to the ground, a plume of sand erupting as she ended up over half-way buried in the beach, her legs sticking up comically.

Peach made a three-point landing, before standing up and dusting off her hands. "Game over, troll," she stated as Chaos Heart flew up.

"Nice work, Macintosh," the CPU chuckled. "I was intending for her to become a twinkle in the sky... didn't know you could jump that high."

"You didn't ask," Peach shrugged. "Anyway, now that we've dropped Nepgya like a bad habit... could you please go back to normal? That smirk of yours is really making me uncomfortable..."

"Pffft... fine," Rei sighed as her transformation reverted, once again wearing glasses, bikini, and hoodie. "C-can't say I b-blame you, I kinda s-scare myself sometimes..."

"I believe it," Peach nodded. "So now what?"

"Well, now that the peanut gallery's gone..." Rei unzipped her hoodie and threw it off. "Let's go swimming!"

"OK!" the busty blonde grinned. "Race you to the water!" She took off in a sprint.

"Hey, n-no fair!" Rei protested. "I c-can't run th-that fast...!"

But while the two ladies were splashing and having fun, a sign emerged from the sand next to the prone Nepgya, bearing three words:

"I'LL BE BACK."

*Episode 9- End*

Man, I had fun writing this one... as always, leave a review!


	10. Episode 10: Drastic Measures?

Yay! This series has reached double-digits!

Author Candidate-James Scott- Looks like Rei's gained another follower... soon Tari will rise again! :P

Guest- Yep, you called it XD

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- Do I even want to know what you and Unknown are doing...? O_O;

GX-Nepgear- Yep, that'll teach her... #Don'tBeReicist

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 10

by Derald Snyder

 _"HAZOZAKI!"_

Vert let out a noise that was a combination of a groan and a sigh, sending a message to her fellow 4GO guild members that she had urgent business, before logging off and pulling the headphones off her head. This simply couldn't wait.

As she walked out of her room, Chika came running up in a panic. "She's gonna kill me, Lady Vert!" she squealed as she hid herself behind her goddess, Peach arriving not long after with murder in her eyes.

"What happened this time?" Vert asked pointedly.

"She spray-painted my armor, all different colors!" the blonde soldier growled. "I could tolerate the face-painting and the whoopee cushions, but *this* is going too far! Do you have any idea how long it's gonna take to clean up?!" She began to march forward again...

"Enough!" Vert held up a hand, Peach halting as a result. "Peach, why don't you go outside and go for a jog or something... before you do something you regret."

Peashy didn't move.

"That's an order, _Staff Sergeant,"_ Vert insisted.

Fortunately the soldier's military discipline overrode her anger, as she stood at attention, giving a curt bow before turning and marching out. "As for you, Chika... you're going to clean Peach's armor for her. And I *won't* be satisfied until it's spick, span, and sparkling! _Do I make myself clear?"_

"Yes, Lady Vert!" the Oracle nodded vigorously, swiftly dashing off to do as her goddess demanded...

Vert sighed as she rubbed her temples in frustration. (Things simply *cannot* go on like this... sooner or later, something has to give...)

*Later that day...*

"And that's the situation," Vert finished her explanation to Histoire over the video feed. "I'm at my wit's end here... Chika will simply *not* take the hint no matter what punishment I levy on her... Honestly, I think she's just doing it for the attention at this point..."

"I see..." the fairy nodded. "But do you have any idea what you are asking?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," Vert quoted. "And I'm feeling fairly desperate at this point..."

"I don't wish to sound like a broken record, but are you absolutely certain there is no other way?" Histoire pressed.

"I've already tried everything I can think of, within reason," the busty CPU replied as she rubbed her temples again. "Unless *you* have a better idea, in which case, I'm all ears..."

"Unfortunately, it would probably take me three weeks to come up with a better idea," the all-seeing tome conceded. "Very well, Vert. I'll see what I can do. But we should take care not to traumatize your bodyguard in the process... I assume you still haven't told her?"

"She's not exactly in the right state of mind to learn the truth right now, for obvious reasons," Vert pointed out. "I'm certain I can work something out, though..."

"For her sake, I hope so," Histy nodded. "I'll see if I can get Neptune to contact her..." The camera panned slightly, to reveal a certain sleeping CPU. "...just as soon as I can get her to wake up."

Vert half-smiled at the sight. "Good luck with that... and I mean that sincerely."

"Indeed," Histoire sweat-dropped, "I fear I'll need all the help I can get. Farewell for now..." With that, the transmission cut off.

"Now then..." Histoire turned to the sleeping Neptune. "How do I go about this...?" If Uzume were here, she could have her use her megaphone to wake up Neptune... Unfortunately, she was off doing a Quest and couldn't be contacted.

"I wonder if Nepgear would be able to help..." Histoire pondered. Suddenly, as if she had performed a summoning spell, the CPU Candidate appeared in the doorway.

"Hello, Histoire! Neptune still asleep?" Nepgear greeted.

"Yes..." the fairy confirmed. "And I need to wake her up so she can contact a certain someone to do a favor for Vert..."

"Well, worry no more!" the goddess proclaimed confidently. "I've got something that's guaranteed to work!" With that, she dragged in a strange mechanical apparatus, with what looked like several gloved hands attached.

Histoire sweat-dropped at the sight. "Isn't that your robot project that went berserk and wreaked havoc in the Basilicom?"

"Ehehe..." Nepgear giggled nervously. "Well, it was supposed to be a cleaning robot, but didn't really work out. It made things even messier than before! But now..." she gestured dramatically. "I've completely rebuilt and repurposed it! And I'm pretty certain I've worked out most of the bugs and glitches..."

"Repurposed? So it's not a cleaning robot anymore?" Histoire inquired curiously.

"Nope! I've redesigned it for a far simpler task!" Nepgear stated as she moved the robot next to her sleeping sister. "I call it... the _'Wake-er-up 2000!'_ " After getting it into position, she pulled out a remote with a big red button. "Time to wake up~!" With that, she pressed the button.

Immediately the machine went to work, two hands gently grabbing Neptune by the ankles, then two other hands removing her shoes...

Before _tickling_ her sock-clad feet intensely. Immediately the goddess' eyes shot open as she began to thrash about... _"EEEEEEeeeee!_ Ahahahahaha, ahahahahahahaaaa!"

"Well, that's one way to do it, I suppose..." Histoire muttered.

"Are you awake now, sis?" Nepgear asked rhetorically, grinning.

 _"YES!_ I'm awake, I'm awa-ha-ha-ake! _TURN IT OO-HA-HA-HA-OOOOOFF!"_ The CPU Candidate pressed the button again, the machine shutting down as a result. "Heeheeheeheeheeeeeee... you suck, Nep Jr..." Neptune grunted as she pulled her feet out of the robot's grip.

"Well, it's your own fault I have to resort to drastic measures to wake you up..." Nepgear pointed out.

Histoire then cleared her throat. "Well, now that you're awake, Neptune... I just got a communique from Vert. She needs you to contact a certain someone in the Ultradimension..."

"Huh...?" Neptune blinked in confusion. "What would Vert want with somebody over there?"

The all-seeing tome sighed as she explained the situation to the goddesses... By the time she was finished, both had incredulous expressions on their faces.

"You can't be serious!" Neptune protested. "Does she have _any idea_ what she's asking?!"

"I have to agree... I can only see this ending badly," Nepgear sweat-dropped.

"She said, and I quote, 'desperate times call for desperate measures'," Histoire stated. "I'm not exactly fond of this idea myself, however, as I said to Vert, it would take me three weeks to come up with anything better..."

Neptune heaved a sigh... "Guess it can't be helped... but I'm not gonna be responsible for any collateral damage, hear?"

"Yeah, but this is Vert we're talking about... surely she can come up with a plan to limit that..." Nepgear postulated.

Histy nodded grimly. "I certainly hope so... for the elder Peashy's sake."

*To be continued...*

What does Vert have planned? And what is this 'truth' she's referring to...?

...actually, if you think about it, you can probably guess, but try not to spoil it in your reviews, please.


	11. Episode 11: Forced Together

Episode 11 is live! Can Peach and Chika resolve their differences?

Kweh Viola- It's HER, all right...

Author Candidate-James Scott- I tell you... YES. *evil chuckling*

ookami486- I wouldn't call it a sad ending... but that's all I'm saying.

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- I don't care what you and Unknown do behind closed doors, but could you please return your attention to the story at hand?!

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 11

by Derald Snyder

"You called, Lady Vert?" Chika said excitedly as she ran up. Said excitement immediately dampened, however, when she saw Peach standing nearby with her arms folded. "What is she doing here?!"

"She called me here, too," the soldier stated simply. "So what's up, Lady Vert?"

The busty CPU typed at the keyboard for a few more seconds, before turning to face her subordinates. "I've received word of a wild pack of horned wolves assaulting citizens in the woods outside Gargan City. Or so someone would like us to think..."

"What do you mean?" Peach inquired.

"By observing the patterns of attack, I've come to believe this is a _trained_ pack of wolves, taking orders from a human master. I can't guess at their motives, but nevertheless, we need to nip this in the bud."

"Even so, they should be nothing for you, Lady Vert!" Chika pointed out.

"Unfortunately, I have other business to attend to," Vert stated. "Which is why the two of you will be fulfilling this Quest."

"WHAT?!" Both women cried.

"Y-you can't be serious!" Chika protested. "I can't work with this muscle-bound broad!"

"Lady Vert, I'd be more than capable of handling this by myself!" Peach asserted. "I don't need her dragging me down!"

"...surely you of all people wouldn't defy a direct order from your goddess, _Staff Sergeant Macintosh,"_ Vert asserted, causing the soldier's face to turn several shades paler.

"Please, Lady Vert!" cried Chika. "I beg you to reconsider!"

 _"Denied,"_ The CPU rejected her flat-out. "You two need to learn to work together, and a Quest like this is a perfect opportunity for that. Surely, if you can keep from killing each other, you can resolve this incident without too much hassle..."

The two women looked at each other, before sighing in resignation. "Yes, Lady Vert..."

 _*Later, in the woods outside Gargan City...*_

Chika and Peach trudged through the forest, the former armed with her trusty spear and the latter decked out in full military armor, not speaking to each other, mired in their own thoughts.

"Hey, Hazozaki?" Peach spoke up.

"What?" Chika growled, stopping but not turning to face her.

"Let's stop beating around the bush. We haven't spoken since we set out," Peach began. "And I think you and I both know why Lady Vert sent us out together..."

The Oracle slowly turned to face her colleague. "Well, if she thinks forcing us on a mission together is going to get us to put aside our differences, she's got it all wrong. Much as I hate to say anything bad about Lady Vert..."

Peach responded by pulling her helmet off, so she could speak to Chika face-to-face. "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but I'm not the enemy here."

"Yeah?" Chika retorted. "In that case, I'm not sure what you are..."

Peach closed her eyes and counted to ten. "Look, you're only hurting yourself with these juvenile pranks. I thought you were more mature than that, Oracle..."

"Says the woman with assets rivaling Lady Vert's," the other woman shot back. "And don't give me that 'I hate my big boobs' crap..."

The armored soldier blinked for a second as something occurred to her. "Is that why... Is that why you hate me so much? Because I have blond hair, blue eyes, and a big bust, just like Lady Vert herself? Because I look more like her 'little sister' than you ever did?" Seeing Chika visibly flinch, she continued, "My Goddess... that *is* it, isn't it?!"

The green-haired woman took a step back, looking on the verge of tears. _"Sh-shut up!_ _ **Leave me alone!"**_ she screamed as she turned and dashed off into the woods...

"Hey, wait! Come back!" Peach called after her as she gave chase...

Chika ran as hard as she could, eyes shut as tears streamed from them... (I don't care anymore... Lady Vert can *have* her for all I care...!) Unfortunately, running blind at such a speed had consequences...

*CRUNCH!*

 _"AAAAAAAAAAHH-!"_

*Thud!*

"Owwww..."

The Oracle slowly picked herself up, realizing she had just run right into a pitfall trap. "Oh for- of _all the things!"_ She punched the wall in frustration. "Could things get any worse...?"

"That depends on your definition of 'worse'," a haughty female voice spoke up from outside the pit. "For example, it might be 'worse' for me, since I caught a human instead of prey..."

"Then how about giving me a hand out of here?!" Chika insisted.

"...on the other hand, it might be 'better' for me as well, because my precious pet may have found a new toy to play with..." A giant Dogoo then poked its face over the edge.

Chika's face instantly went pale. _"Y-you wouldn't dare-!_ Do you have any idea who I am?!"

"Chika Hazozaki, Oracle of Leanbox and Vert's second-in-command," the voice answered. "Though I hear you've been rather _naughty_ as of late..."

"Wh-what does that have to do with anything?!" the Oracle protested.

The woman's voice answered, "Well, it just _really_ upsets me that you're causing your goddess so much grief lately... Especially since you've been *so* loyal to her before... Seems like the only thing that'll get through to you is some cruel and unusual punishment! _Sic, Dogoo!"_ With that, the giant blob started oozing down the pit towards the trapped woman...

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Chika cried in horror... but then, the Dogoo stopped, surprise showing on its face as it was apparently pulled back up against its will.

"Not on *my* watch, bitch!" The Oracle had never been so relieved to hear Peach's voice... She then heard sounds of violence, the Dogoo screaming in pain as the Leanbox soldier beat the crap out of it, until the sound of its dematerializing was heard. A few seconds later, Peach's helmet appeared over the hole. "Hey, you OK, Hazozaki? Hold on, I'm coming down..."

Chika quickly backed up against the wall as Peach landed in front of her. "You muscle-brain, what are you doing?! Now we're both trapped!"

"...Obviously, you don't know high I can jump," Peashy deadpanned as she gently grabbed Chika around the waist before crouching...

The Oracle couldn't help but scream in surprise as they sailed up the length of the shaft, landing a half-foot away from the hole.

"What's this, now?" the haughty voice spoke out again, Chika unable to pinpoint where it was coming from. "The bodyguard coming to the Oracle's rescue? And here I thought you hated her guts..."

"The only person who's guts I hate right now are _yours,_ bitch!" Peach growled as she set her co-worker back on her feet. "Why don't you come out and face us, you coward?!"

The unknown woman just laughed in response. "Come now, do you _really_ expect me to fall for a taunt like that? I see no reason to bother with you myself... seeing as I have *plenty* of other pets to do the job for me!" She then whistled, several horned wolves suddenly emerging from the surrounding brush...

"Looks like we've found our objective," Peach muttered as she pulled out her baton. "You ready to fight, Hazozaki?"

The Oracle brandished her spear. "To borrow a phrase from Neptune... _'Bring 'em on.'"_

"Sic, wolves!" the voice commanded, the wild canines barking as they rushed the duo. Chika struck first, using a Rainy Ranapura attack to gouge several wounds in the lead wolf, defeating it almost instantly. Peach then charged forward, knocking several wolves aside with a swing of her baton. One wolf managed to bite her outstretched arm, though the armor did its job, preventing any damage. Peach then put her other arm behind the wolf's neck before jerking its head back, its spinal cord snapping as a result, killing it.

Chika jumped as two wolves closed in on her, the canines colliding as a result, knocking them temporarily senseless. The Oracle then used her momentum and gravity to jam her spear into the back of another wolf, defeating it. She then thrust her weapon into the ribcage of one of two that had collided, hitting a vital spot, which killed that one as well. The other horned wolf had recovered by this time, charging again at Chika, another of its brethren bringing up the rear.

"Too predictable," the green-haired woman chuckled as she unleashed a Sylhet Spear which impaled both monsters and dematerialized them. "Who's next?"

Her question was quickly answered as another wolf leapt on her from behind, knocking her to the ground. Adrenaline surged through the woman as she heaved the monster off her back, quickly turning over and thrusting her spear through its neck, killing it. But then another wolf jumped on Chika and pinned her to the ground...

But instead of biting or mauling her, it began to lick her face instead. The Oracle then caught a glance between it's legs seeing something she immediately wished she hadn't... "Oh *yuck*! It's a _male in heat!"_

But then, the wolf found himself grabbed by the tail and lifted off Chika... "Bad dog!" Peashy yelled as she slammed the wolf into a nearby tree. "No bestiality allowed!" The monster was smashed into several other trees, before finally getting slammed to the ground, dematerializing as a result.

"Is that all of them?" Chika inquired, before hearing the Neptunia victory music. "I'm out of practice," she mused as she righted herself and retrieved her spear.

The mysterious voice then heaved a sigh. "Well, now look at what you've done... and after all the trouble I went through whipping those poodles into obedience... Guess it's true what they say, you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself..."

"So, you finally gonna come out of hiding and face us?!" Peach demanded.

"I wasn't hiding, per se..." the voice answered. "More like observing from above..." A pair of long sexy legs then emerged from the over hanging brush, encased in tall boots with high heels, followed by sexy hips, E-cup sized breasts, arms covered in black gloves with purple gauntlets, long purple hair...

And red power-symbol eyes, the telltale sign of a CPU in HDD. A curved, segmented sword then materialized in her right hand as she gave the two women a haughty smirk. "Here I am, ladies..."

"My Goddess..." Chika's face went pale as recognition registered. "A-aren't you... Iris Heart?!"

 _"Iris Heart?!"_ Peach cried in shock. "B-but I thought that was just a scary story by Neptuna...!"

"Oh, Neppy told you about me?" the CPU smirked as the segments of her sword separated, transforming into a whip-like weapon, which she slapped against the ground. "Then I think you realize what you're in for..."

Like her boyfriend, Peach wasn't usually one to let fear rule over her decision-making process... but in this case, it completely overwhelmed her, causing her to conceive only one possible option...

 _"RUUUUUUUNNN!"_

*To be continued...*

Another cliffhanger! I'm so evil... anyway, leave a review!


	12. Episode 12: VS Iris Heart

It's Episode 12! Major fight scene, ahoy!

Author Candidate-James Scott/GX-Nepgear- She can run, but can't hide!

Kweh Viola- *shrugs* Your guess is as good as mine... This is why I'm a Christian- Having only one God makes things a lot simpler...

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- Bestiality is bad, OK?! The Bible says so! :P

Guest- Um, she said outright that she 'whipped them into obedience'...

MrNovaxc- Yeah, it's a pretty petty reason to dislike someone...

ookami486- Peashy's not going down without a fight!

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 12

by Derald Snyder

"This *can't* be happening!" cried Chika as she and Peach fled through the forest, hearing Iris Heart's chuckling overhead. "Why her? Why here? _Why now?!"_

"Wish I had an answer!" Peach shouted back between gasps of oxygen. "We're screwed if she catches us though- in more ways than one!"

"Oh, I assure you," Iris Heart's voice echoed from up above, "there's only *one* lady I'm interested in catching..." Suddenly a leather whip lashed out from above, wrapping around Chika's upper arm and pulling her up. "I've got you now~"

"KYAAAAAAA!" the Oracle screamed in terror as Peashy screeched to a halt. Terrified as she was, the bodyguard wasn't going to let that evil CPU have Chika without a fight! Turning around, the blonde crouched and tensed her leg muscles...

No-one was more surprised than Iris Heart to see the armored soldier burst out of the tree cover, unable to react before Peach grabbed her around the neck as gravity reasserted itself, all three women crashing back down to earth, though Chika's fall was cushioned by the CPU's body.

Peach wasted no time wrenching the whip out of Iris Heart's hands, before pushing Chika away. "*Run*, Hazozaki!"

"Well, aren't you feisty," the CPU grunted as she tried to pry Peach's hand off her neck. "And just why are you helping her? You and I both know she needs to be taught a lesson..."

"Not like that, she doesn't," Peach growled. "Especially not from _you!"_

"Well, that's too bad," Iris Heart sighed. "You know, if you had just kept running, I would have let you go... but now, you've forced my hand. _THUNDER!"_ The soldier screamed as an electric discharge ran through her body, before the CPU kneed her in the groin area and shoved her off. "That metal armor might have helped you against those wolves, but it's nothing but a lightning rod for me~" She then raised her sword to block Chika's spear strike, without even turning to look at her. "And just what do you think *you're* doing? Don't tell me you _suddenly_ care for her..."

"That's not it..." Chika grunted. "I owe her one for coming back for me! And Chika Hazozaki repays her debts!" With that, she lashed out with a Rainy Ranapura attack, only for the dominatrix to effortlessly block each strike. Iris then retaliated with a Drive Stab, slashing at the Oracle several times before viciously kicking her into a tree. The CPU's weapon then transformed to whip-mode, lashing out at Chika...

Only for the green-haired woman to recover and roll away in the nick of time, the weapon's end embedding itself in the tree trunk. "I'm not... done yet...!"

"You're only prolonging our own suffering, you know," Iris Heart sighed as her whip retracted into sword-mode. "You should just submit to your punishment, it'd be simpler that way..."

"Says you," Chika retorted. "I still have one card left to play!"

"Oh?" Iris raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be...?"

The Oracle gave a smirk. "My Drive Meter is full. And with this, your demise is assured. SPIRAL BREAK!" She suddenly charged forward with a speed that the CPU was unable to react to in time, getting slashed several times, then getting subjected to a rapid-fire stabbing, before being slashed one final time, sending her flying backwards. "And now, the final blow!" Chika declared as the hurled her spear with all her might...

Only for the CPU to slice it in half, the EXE drive music screeching to a halt. "Really, Chika? _That_ was your final maneuver? Your damage barely broke triple digits!" She then materialized another whip, lashing out and catching the other woman by the throat, dragging her in close. "Clearly, it's been a while since you last went adventuring..."

"No..." Chika squeaked in terror as sweat ran down her face. "Someone help me..."

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Peach's voice rang out.

 _"SUPER THUNDER!"_ Iris Heart intoned, a far more powerful lighting strike lashing out, Peach's armor easily conducting the charge...

But the soldier had _shed_ her armor, throwing the chest piece into the air to intercept the attack as she ran forward, slamming her elbow into the dominatrix's ribcage.

THAT registered, Iris Heart's eyes going wide, letting out a gasp of pain as she bent over sideways, Chika breaking free and scrambling away. Peashy then followed up with a vicious uppercut, snapping her enemy upright again, before kneeing her in the crotch. "Bet _that_ doesn't feel good, bitch!"

"Why you...!" The CPU grunted as her sword-whip lashed out again, coiling tightly around the blonde, who cried out in pain at feeling the sharp edges dig into her flesh... then Iris Heart added an electrical discharge on top of that, Peach's shrieks of agony echoing throughout the forest...

As the blonde soldier fell to her knees, Iris shook her head as she lamented, "You know, I _really_ didn't want to do that to you... but you just HAD to be so foolishly stubborn..." She then caught Chika trying to sneak away out of the corner of her eye. "And just where are *you* going?" Chika gasped and tried to run, but the CPU caught up almost instantly, pinning the Oracle to another tree.

"Now then," Iris Heart smirked as she pulled out a riding crop, "Let's continue where we left off, shall we~?"

"NOOOOOOOO!" came the scream... but it came not from Chika, but from Peach, who had stood back up, wreathed in a battle aura, letting loose with a feral roar as she abruptly _shattered_ her bonds, sword segments scattering everywhere!

 _"What?!"_ the CPU gasped in shock as Peashy charged forward, fist cocked, putting her arms up to block the punch...

But it was a feint, Peach's fist coming up from below instead, the uppercut breaking the dominatrix's guard, snapping her head back, almost upside down... By the time she had righted herself, the soldier was weaving her head back and forth in a rough figure eight pattern. (What is she doing?!)

Even if she *had* realized what Peach was doing, she had no chance to defend herself as the blonde used the momentum of her weaving to slam in punches from left and right, hitting the CPU in the face repeatedly, Chika looking on incredulously as blood began to fly from Iris Heart's face from the successive blows...

After 15 or so blows, Peach finished up with a final vicious right hook that sent the dominatrix to the ground, who bounced once before going still, her head falling limply to the side, though her eyes remained open.

Five seconds passed. Ten seconds. Twenty.

But Iris Heart did not rise again.

"I... I think you got her...!" Chika gasped in awe.

Peach let her breath out in a rush as she let her fists drop, turning and slowly trudging over to where her colleague was sitting, falling to her knees as she and Chika gratefully embraced each other.

"Peach," Chika began, her voice cracking, "I take back every bad thing I ever said or did to you."

"Likewise, Hazozaki... no, _Chika,"_ Peach corrected herself, before pulling the Oracle to her feet. "C'mon, we better get outta here before she wakes up... and we have to report this to Lady Vert..."

"Right," the other woman nodded as they began their trek back to Gargan City... About a minute later, another woman came down from the sky, setting down next to the prone CPU. She had green hair done into a ponytail, dressed in white, with E-cup breasts and purple power-symbol eyes.

"I believe they're gone now, Plutia," stated Green Heart.

Iris Heart slowly raised a hand. "Heal," she managed to get out despite her sore jaw, a wave of green sparkles washing over her. The CPU then pulled herself into a sitting position, heaving a sigh. "Well, I can safely say that didn't go quite as planned... That Peashy is stronger than I gave her credit for..."

"Indeed," Green Heart nodded. "Though, while I didn't expect events to transpire in this fashion, I think this was a more desirable outcome, as far as I'm concerned."

"You mean the fact that your Oracle and bodyguard seem to have come to an understanding... without me having to _teach_ Chika the error of her ways?"

"Exactly," the Leanbox CPU nodded again. "I thought it would take nothing less than a seemingly life-or-death situation for those two to come to terms with each other..." She then turned to face the Ultradimension goddess. "I do thank you, Plutia, for going out of your way to help me out here..."

"Anything for Peashy~" Plutia said happily as her transformation reverted. "Anyway, I'm kinda sleepy after that fight, so... g'night Vert..." With that, the purple-haired CPU curled up and went to sleep.

Green Heart just sighed as she picked up the slumbering girl in her arms, before beginning her flight back to the Basilicom...

*To be concluded...*


	13. Episode 13: Aftermath

It's 'unlucky' episode 13...

Author Candidate-James Scott- Glad you enjoyed the fight scene...

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- I'll bet Vert herself is surprised things worked out as well as they did...

MrNovaxc- I think it's safe to say Chika finally got the hint...

magictoaster- Yes, I'm quite aware of Peashy being based on the PC-Engine, and I plan to reference it in a future episode...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 13

by Derald Snyder

"Oooooooh yeah..."

It wasn't unusual to hear moans and sighs of contentment from the massage room when Chika Hazozaki worked her magic with her hands...

What *was* unusual, however, was that it wasn't Vert getting the massage this time, but _Peashy,_ who was laying on her front side with her bra strap undone, though she still wore her spandex shorts, socks and shoes. Her body also had a few bandages here and there, from wounds incurred in the battle with Iris Heart.

"I have to admit," muttered Chika, "That working on you is quite a different experience from Lady Vert... you're much more... _muscular..._ oh, here's another knot!"

"Oooh yes!" Peach grunted as the Oracle worked the knot loose... before crying out in pain. "OW! That's a bandage, that's a bandage...!"

"Sorry!" Chika apologized. "I tried to be careful..." She shifted her hands' position. "Here, this spot shouldn't be so painful..."

Peach sighed in relief as her friend went to work again. "Aaah yeah, that's better..."

"By the way," Chika spoke up, "What was that technique you used on Iris Heart? I don't think I've seen anything like that before..."

"Picked it up from a boxing anime," the soldier grunted. "Forgot what that series was called... but I think that technique was based on something that's actually used in pro boxing... what was it called? The Dumpster Roll? Kempsey Roll? Something like that anyway..."

"I see... well, it certainly did the trick," The Oracle nodded. Just then, the door opened, Vert herself walking in.

"My, my," the CPU smiled, "You two seem to be getting along a lot better now... usually Chika will only massage me and me alone."

"I owe her my life, Lady Vert," Chika stated simply, "and I had to repay her somehow..."

Vert nodded, smiling. "Just as long as you aren't... playing around..."

"Wh-what?!" Peach's eyes shrank to circles.

"Lady Vert...!" Chika's face reddened. "See, this is _exactly_ why there are unsavory rumors concerning you and I flying about...!"

The busty blonde just chuckled in response. "What, can't I tease my _little sister_ a little bit?"

"Meep...!" Chika turned even redder as her hands went to her cheeks.

"She's gonna die of embarrassment if you keep that up," Peach deadpanned. "Chika, if you're done, you mind putting my bra back on, _please?!"_

"Huh...? O-oh, right!" The Oracle promptly did as requested, re-fastening the bra strap, allowing Peashy to sit up and retrieve her t-shirt, inadvertently showing off her bandages to Vert in the process.

"Oh my," the CPU gasped, "Looks like you had a rough time of it... No wonder Chika wanted to massage you..."

"Yeah, well..." Peach pulled her t-shirt over her head before pulling her ponytail out. "Do the words _'Iris Heart'_ mean anything to you?"

"Oh, dear!" Vert sighed, "You got off easy, if that's the case..."

Chika blinked. "Lady Vert... did you just look down and to the left? That's a sure sign of a... liar..." Suddenly everything clicked. "Oh my Goddess... Lady Vert! _You set us up, didn't you?!"_

"Set us up?" Peach blinked in confusion. "Y-you're crazy, Chika! Lady Vert would never _deliberately_ send us into conflict with someone like *that*!" The blonde then heard the sound of a yawn, before a familiar face walked in behind Vert. "Wh- Plutia! What are you doing here?"

"Hiii~, Peashy..." Plutia greeted.

 _"I knew it!"_ cried Chika. "That proves it was a set-up!"

"Say what?" Peach was beyond confused now. "How does Plutia being here prove we were set-up to meet Iris Heart?"

"You _idiot!"_ the Oracle cried. "Plutia *is* Iris Heart!"

"WHAT?!" cried Peach... before bursting into laughter. "Ah-hahahahaha! Th-that's a good one, Chika! I know Plutia, there's no way her HDD is an evil dominatrix...!"

"Are you suuuure about that, Peashy...?" Plutia herself spoke up.

"Wha..." Peach shook her head in disbelief. "C-come on, Plutia, y-you're just messing with me, right?"

"Am I~?" the purple-haired CPU smirked. "Why do you think Noire and Blanny got reeeeally quiet when I told them I might get angry...?"

The blonde's eyes went wide as she processed this... Noting the similarity in hair and eye color... "No... no... Th-that's not true... that's _impossible!"_

"Oooooohh?" Plutia said, before being engulfed in a pillar of light...

And sure enough, it was Iris Heart who was standing there. "Look with your eyes Peashy, you know it to be true..."

The soldier promptly recoiled in horror. "N... NOOOOOOOOO! **NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Chika herself had backed up against the wall, quaking with fear... However, the dominatrix did not move to attack or restrain either girl.

"I'm so sorry about this, Peach..." Vert sighed forlornly. "While I admit I took advantage of your ignorance about Plutia's HDD form, part of me wishes you didn't have to find out this way..."

"...Vert. Chika." Iris spoke up. "I want to talk to poor Peashy one-on-one, so would you both get the hell out?"

"I... I can leave? Y-yes ma'am! Gladly!" Chika nodded vigorously, before fleeing the room as fast her feet could carry her, Vert following at a more sedate pace, quietly closing the door behind her, a somewhat sad expression on her face.

Once they had departed, Iris Heart slowly walked up to the still-shaking Peach, before abruptly grabbing her in a firm, affectionate hug. "My dear Peashy, I am so sorry for what I did to you earlier..."

"S... sorry?" the blonde gasped as her heart restarted.

"I told you earlier that I didn't want to hurt you like that..." The CPU then observed a bandage on Peach's arm. "At least let me help ease your pain... Heal." Peashy slowly drew in a breath as the green wave of energy washed over her, feeling the residual pain from her wounds ebb away. "And I forgive you for beating on me earlier," Iris Heart continued as she looked her friend in the eye. "After all, you were just acting in defense of a co-worker... no-one could fault you for that... and look what it led to. She's gone from hating your guts to giving you a massage... and I didn't even have to punish her." She closed her eyes and smiled.

In that moment, looking at the CPU's face, Peach saw not Iris Heart, but... "P... Plutia?"

"That's right, Peashy," the other woman nodded, "I'm still Plutia. I've just been through some changes, that's all..."

The soldier began to feel her fear abate somewhat. "S-so... you threw the fight, didn't you?"

"I wouldn't exactly say I *threw* the fight..." Plutia muttered. "That last attack of yours did hurt... I actually had to heal myself after that assault..." She pulled away slightly. "I have to admit, you surpassed my expectations, Peashy... You hit almost as hard as your 'little sister' in HDD..."

"Y-you don't say..." said Peach as she glanced away. "No offense, Plutia, but could you please un-transform or whatever?"

"As you wish," the CPU assented, reverting to her human form. "I *am* sorry for scaring you like that, though... it was kinda Vert's idea to begin with..."

"Yeah, she said as much," Peashy sighed. "I'll give _her_ a piece of my mind later, but first, there's someone else I need to talk to..."

 _*Some time later...*_

Neptune yawned as she roused from her nap... but almost immediately realized something wasn't right. As her eyes blinked open, she realized her arms were chained to the wall, while her sock-clad feet were being restrained by Nepgear's Wake-er-up 2000. "H-hey! What the nep's going on here?!"

In response, Peach stepped into view. "Neptuna... I've got a bone to pick with you. As does one other person..." At that, Iris Heart stepped out from behind her.

 _"S-Sadie?!"_ Neptune squeaked. "What'd I do?! What'd I do?!"

"You scared poor Peashy here by telling her a scary story involving me," Iris Heart stated simply.

"And *then* you failed to tell me that she was actually Plutia," Peach added. "That's not very nice, _Neptuna..."_

The bound CPU was sweating a bit now. "O-oh, come on! I thought Plutie or Vert woulda told you or something...!"

"That's a weak excuse, Neppy, and you know it," Iris Heart retorted. "I wanted to punish you in my usual way, but Peashy thought that was going too far... so we talked it over and came up with something that would satisfy both of us..." A sinister smirk spread over the dominatrix's face.

"Wh-what are ya gonna do?!" cried Neptune. Her two captors answered by pulling out large feathers...

"I thought the fact that you were held by Nepgear's tickle-torture device would be hint enough..." Plutia chuckled, as she pulled out a familiar-looking remote...

The other CPU's eyes went wide. "Oh no..."

"Here we come, Neptuna...!" said Peach, grinning evilly as she and Iris Heart approached...

*Click!* went the big red button.

And so, the Planeptune Basilicom echoed with it's goddess's uncontrollable laughter for hours on end...

*Episode 13- End*


	14. Episode 14: Do Not Taunt Segata

Time for a fun filler episode...

Author Candidate-James Scott- Yep, things worked out well for everyone, except Neptune, of course.

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- No, it's not from Saitama, it's from Hajime no Ippo, an old anime based on boxing.

GX-Nepgear- Yeah, Neppy brought that one on herself... next time she'll think twice before using Sadie as a horror story.

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 14

by Derald Snyder

 _*Peach's Apartment*_

"Sega Saturn, shiro!" stated the judo master on the Neptube video.

"I can't believe you actually *enjoy* watching these silly old commercials," Peach sighed as she observed her boyfriend.

"Why, 'cause I'm a Leanbox native, and he's from Planeptune?" Adrian suggested.

"*No*, because Segata is way overrated, in my opinion!" the blonde shot back. "And I was born in Planeptune, remember?!"

Adrian turned to Peach incredulously. "You think he's overrated?!"

"Yeah!" Peach retorted defiantly. "I mean, I could easily handle a judo-flip from him, I could break out of his choke hold, and return the favor!"

"What about his judo throw that makes you explode on impact?" Adrian argued.

"Pffffft!" Peashy waved him off. "The other guy probably just hit a hidden landmine or something! And need I remind you, Segata is helpless against zombies!"

"And you wouldn't be?" her boyfriend raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't try to fight an entire horde off," Peach conceded. "Even *I'm* not that stupid... but I could easily handle those three he was up against initially!" Something then occurred to her. "In fact... how do we know Segata wasn't turned by those zombies? They *were* swarming him at the end..."

Adrian blinked, before a smile came over him. "Peashy, I think you just gave me an idea..." Turning back to the computer, he began typing excitedly...

 _*A few days later...*_

Peach sat down next to Adrian at the computer, opening a can of Nepsoda. "OK, I'm ready Adrian...Show me what you got."

"Alrighty then," the Leanbox soldier nodded, un-minimizing the video before hitting PLAY.

The title was 'Segata Zombie', as it showed the zombies from that particular commercial... however, the heads had been replaced by photo-edited Segata heads, which were colored green with bloody eyes. The video then focused on each individual zombie, as a slowed-down version of Segata's theme played in the background.

Peashy couldn't help but grin and chuckle. "That's pretty good, Adrian..."

"Thanks... it's already gone viral," her boyfriend grinned and nodded. Suddenly the buzzer sounded...

Peach hit the button. "Who is it?"

"Sega Saturn, SHIRO!" came the answer.

The blonde laughed aloud at that. "Nice try, buddy... wrong country!" She and Adrian then went to the window to see who it really was...

Segata Sanshiro himself glared up at them from below.

"Oh, SH-!"

 _"EEEEEEEK!"_

The couple immediately beat feet out of the apartment, running up the stairs to the roof... As they exited, however, the door was shut by Segata himself.

"Wha-?!" gasped Peach.

"How did he...?" Adrian didn't bother to finish that thought as he and Peashy continued to run for their lives, nearly tripping over an upraised pipe in the process... However, as they approached the ladder to the ground, Segata was suddenly _there,_ punching a fist into his hand.

"Aaaaaww...!" Adrian groaned at their seeming inability to escape, as the two turned and fled in another direction.

They now had no choice to try and jump from the roof to the next apartment building over... Peach leapt first, managing to grab onto the ledge... unfortunately, Adrian's jump fell short causing him to grab his girlfriend's legs, ending up pulling her down with him...

Fortunately, their fall was broken by a dumpster full of garbage, Peach not even spilling any of her Nepsoda. As they climbed out, though, they saw the judo master standing a short distance away, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

Peach and Adrian took off again, terrified beyond words by now. Reaching a tall wooden fence with a door, Adrian leapt and hurled himself over the fence, while Peashy took the door, not wanting to spill her soda, though she still had enough presence of mind to lock it behind her, for all the good it would do...

The two then ran for the door to the building as fast as they can, in near-panic as they wrenched it open...

Only to freeze in terror as Segata stood before them.

*click!* went the camera in his hands, before snatching the Nepsoda out of Peach's hand...

 _*Some time later...*_

A new Neptube video had been posted, titled 'Segata's Revenge," featuring two mannequins with Adrian and Peach's terrified faces taped on the heads, as Segata punched, kicked, and judo-flipped the stuffing out of them.

Sitting in his chair, Segata nodded as he took a sip of Peach's Nepsoda, watching his video go viral.

"Sega Saturn, shiro!"

 _RESPECT THE SODA_

 _TASTE THE SODA_

 ** _NEPSODA!_**

 _*Peach's Apartment*_

"I can't believe they turned that into a commercial!" Peach whined as she watched the television, sitting beside her boyfriend on the couch.

"Well hey, look on the bright side, Peashy," Adrian shrugged, "At least WE didn't get judo-flipped..."

*Episode 14- End*

This is why you don't make fun of Segata Sanshiro... Read and review!


	15. Episode 15: Kids' Names

Here it comes, Episode 15!

Author Candidate-James Scott- Glad you enjoyed it so much. :D

GX-Nepgear- Segata's appearance was more of a cameo than anything...

ookami486- Hopefully Adrian and Peach learned their lesson...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 15

by Derald Snyder

Adrian looked over the purple-haired girl standing before him. "So you're Plutia, huh?"

"Thaaaat's me~!" The CPU confirmed with a smile. "And you're Peashy's boyfriend, right? Nice to meet you~"

"Likewise," the soldier nodded as he shook hands with the other girl. "Heh, you look just as cute and adorable as that doll you sent Peashy," he chuckled as he playfully ruffled her hair.

"Hey, don't mess up my hair like that!" Plutia protested as she swiped at Adrian's arm.

"It's kinda messed up already, Plutia..." Peach sighed as she stood off to the side.

"No, it's not! It's all nice and braided, see~?" She flicked her braided ponytail to prove her point.

"I think she was referring more to the hair on top of your head..." Adrian muttered.

"Still, it was nice of you to come and visit me..." Peach said. "I know you must be really busy with your CPU work and all..."

"Oh, it's OK," Plutia shrugged. "Histy and the other Peashy can handle things for a little while..."

"Dunno how I feel about Planeptune being left in the hands of a five-year-old kid..." Adrian sighed under his breath. "But, I'm no goddess, so I'll keep my own council..."

"So then, Peashy," Plutia changed the subject, "do you and your boyfriend get in bed together and do the nasty...?"

"S-say _what?!"_ Adrian blushed red.

"Why does everyone keep asking us that?!" Peach squeaked, her face red as well.

"Sooo... that's a no, I guess?" Plutia said. "But how are you gonna have kids if you don't do it?"

"L-look," Adrian grunted, "We've agreed to save *that* for the honeymoon. Y'know, _after_ we get married..."

"Which is how it's _supposed_ to be," Peashy pointed out. I mean, it's not like we don't want to have children... we've even got names picked for whether it's a boy or a girl..."

"Really~?" the CPU perked up. "So what are you gonna name 'em?"

"Well, if it's a girl we'll name her Lisa, after my Mom," Peach stated. "But if it's a boy, we'll call him... Turbo."

"Turbo?!" Adrian protested. "Wait a minute, I thought we agreed we'd name him Griff!"

"Turbo can be his nickname, then," Peach retorted.

"Turbo Griff..?" Plutia said in confusion. "Kinda sounds like a superhero..."

Adrian rolled his eyes. "Nah, if he was a superhero, he'd be called Turbo Griff-X!"

"Nuh-uh, not cool enough," the blonde shook her head. "It'd be more like Turbo Griff-X... the 16th!"

"Turbo Griff-X the 16th?!" Adrian began to chuckle, before bursting into outright laughter. "Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa! Th-that's a good one, Peashy...! See, this why I fell in love with you in the first place...!"

"I love you too, Adrian," sighed Peach, as she gave her boyfriend a peck on the lips.

"Bleah," Plutia briefly stuck her tongue out. "Get a room, you two..."

"Not until we tie the knot, _Ploot,"_ Peach insisted. "Didn't we just discuss this...?"

"Well, OK," the purple-haired girl shrugged. "Just as long as he doesn't _cheat_ on you before then..."

"I wouldn't do that to Peashy!" the soldier protested. "She's my one and only, forever and ever, until the end of time..."

"You promise?" Plutia pressed.

Adrian nodded. "I promise. Cross my heart and hope to... er, well, just cross my heart." (No need to jinx myself...)

"OK, then~" Plutia closed her eyes and smiled. "But I'm gonna hold you to thaaaaat..."

"Don't worry, Plutia," Peach shook her head. "I'm sure Adrian has nothing to fear from you..."

Later, Adrian would look back on this day and regret not taking Plutia's warning a bit more seriously...

*To be continued...*


	16. Episode 16: Compromising Position

And now, Episode 16...

Author Heart - Ance Xila Scott- You mean the firecracker prank idea? I dunno... if I do use it, it probably won't be Neppy that's the instigator...

Author Candidate-James Scott- When Plutia issues a warning, you better heed it, or else...

JakandJim- Unfortunately, Adrian isn't Peashy...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 16

by Derald Snyder

 _*Leanbox Army Base- Training Grounds*_

"C'mon, you call that a punch? Put some oomph into it!"

Adrian's opponent growled as she cocked her fist, before thrusting forward as hard as she could... only for the soldier to easily catch it, before grabbing the girl around the neck and slamming her to the ground.

"You OK?" Adrian asked.

"I've endured worse pain than this," his opponent grunted.

"Alright, good. But you see how I did that? I lifted you up just enough to get you off balance, so I could put you flat on your back." He then released his grip, allowing the girl to stand up. "OK, now you try it."

"Um, but you're taller than me, petty officer..."

"Well then, _improvise!"_ Adrian declared as he started swinging at his opponent, though he telegraphed them somewhat to allow her an opportunity.

The brunette hung back as she pondered her next move... then suddenly, she rushed forward, ducking under Adrian's punch before jumping and grabbing him around the neck, pulling them both to the ground. She then quickly climbed on him pinned his neck to the ground with her hand. "How was that?"

"OK, I guess..." Adrian grunted. "Wouldn't have have worked on a heavier opponent, though..." Abruptly he heaved her off, before pinning the girl to the ground by the shoulders. "Word of advice- make sure you're actually strong enough that the other guy stays pinned, got it?"

"OK," the girl giggled.

 ** _"AAADRIIAAAAAANNN!"_** another female voice cried out. The soldier looked up to see Peach, who had an absolutely devastated look on her face.

Then it clicked. He was laying on top of another girl- a cute one, at that.

He'd been smiling.

She'd been giggling.

 _"Oh no!"_ He quickly scrambled off his sparring partner. "Peashy, I swear, this isn't what it looks like!"

"Like *hell* it isn't!" Peach yelled back, tears welling up. "You no good, two-timing, dirty, rotten _TRAITOR!_ _ **I HATE YOU!"**_ She immediately turned and ran off sobbing. "I never wanna see you _again!"_

 _"Peashy!"_ Adrian tried to run after her, but soon stopped, realizing it was futile. "Aw, man..." He put a hand behind his head in frustration. "Worst. Timing. _Ever!"_

"Uh-oh... that was your girlfriend, wasn't it?" the brunette asked.

 _"Yes,"_ Adrian heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry, Keisha, but we're gonna have to cut this short. You might as well go home to Lastation..."

"O-okay... sorry about this," K-Sha bowed repentantly. "I hope you can get her to see reason..." With that, she turned and left...

 _*A short while later...*_

"And that's what happened, Lisa," Adrian spoke to Peach's mother over the phone. "Honestly, if Peach had caught us in any other position, she might've seen that it was just a sparring session, nothing more..."

"I see," Lisa nodded. "But you know my daughter's never been the brightest bulb... She certainly didn't get her father's brains. But why were you training this girl in the first place?"

"Well, this girl- Keisha's her name- she's good friends with Lady Noire, and it was her who suggested training with me to improve her hand-to-hand combat skills. I guess Lady Noire must've heard from Lady Vert that I was the one who trained Peashy in CQC to begin with..."

"So it was a favor from Lastation's CPU?" Lisa blinked in surprise. "Well, surely once Peashy hears that, she'll calm down and see reason..."

"Yeah, but she's obviously not gonna want to talk to me right now," the soldier pointed out. "That's why I called you- maybe you can go see her and tell her what happened..."

"Yes, I'll do that," Lisa nodded. "But I'll probably give her a little time to calm down first. Thank you for calling, Adrian."

"I appreciate it, Ms. Macintosh. Bye for now." With that, Adrian hung up.

Little did either of them know, ensuing events would preclude any chance of them nipping this crisis in the bud...

*To be continued...*


	17. Episode 17: Punishment

Ta-da! It's Episode 17!

Author Candidate-James Scott- It'll probably work out, but there may be some pain involved...

ookami486- welp indeed...

MrNovaxc- I think K-Sha is going to have to watch her back...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 17

by Derald Snyder

 _*Apartment Complex, Third Floor*_

Plutia walked up to the door to Peach's apartment. (Mr. Landlord said Peashy wasn't in too good of a mood when he saw her just recently... Hope I can cheer her up,) she thought to herself. Sure enough, as she approached the door, she could hear faint sobbing from the other side... The CPU knocked on the door three times.

"Go away!" Peach's voice echoed. "I don't wanna see anyone...!"

"Peashy, it's Plutia!" the CPU called back. "You don't wanna see me~?" A few seconds later, the door opened, revealing a slightly disheveled Peach, who had tear markings on her cheeks. "Uh-oh, what happened?"

The blonde didn't answer, instead quietly beckoning Plutia inside, shutting the door behind her. The purple-haired girl then sat on the couch, Peach sitting down next to her.

"...I'm glad you're here," the blonde said after a minute. "I'm just.. so upset right now..." She then started crying into her hands. "Oh, Adrian... how could you do this to me...?!"

"Uh-oh... did he cheat on you?" Plutia guessed.

Peach nodded vigorously. "-He was with this brunette, really cute... he was on top of her, he was smiling, she was laughing... that low-life traitor!"

"Well, that's too bad..." Plutia frowned. "Do you want me to punish him for you? I can teach him a really good lesson..."

Had she been in her right mind, Peach wouldn't have even considered that option, but... "...yeah, that sounds like a good idea. But... can you just stay with me, for tonight? Please?"

"Of course~" Plutia smiled. "I'll just go punish him in the morning..."

"Right. But Plutia?"

"Eh?"

"He needs to be taught a lesson... not scarred for life, OK?"

"Awww..." Plutia moaned in disappointment. "Well, OK... if that's what you want, Peashy..."

 _*The next day...*_

Adrian and three of his fellow soldiers walked out of the base. "I tell ya, peace is hell," one of the soldiers commented.

"The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war," Adrian quoted.

"So how are things with you and Peach?" another soldier asked. "We heard about that blow-up you had..."

"Well, her mother's gonna call her today and try to explain things to her, so hopefully we can make up..." Adrian sighed. He suddenly stopped, seeing Plutia standing a few feet away... "Oh hi, Plutia! What's up?"

"Mr. Adrian... you broke your promise," the girl stated, frowning. "You cheated on Peashy... you made her cry..."

For some reason, the soldier felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "Oh, for... Plutia, that's not what happened! It's just a big misunderstanding!"

"Yeah, little girl," one of Adrian's fellow soldiers spoke up, "it was just a sparring session! Nothing unsavory going on at all!"

"That's not what Peashy said..." Plutia retorted. "She said you were on top of that other girl... like you were doing the nasty."

"W-we were completely clothed!" Adrian grunted as his face heated up. "And besides, we were on the ground because I was teaching her how to throw an opponent!"

The purple-haired CPU closed her eyes as she processed what she'd been told... but when she opened them, they showed power-symbols. _"I don't believe you."_ With that, she was engulfed in a pillar of light, causing Adrian and his fellow soldiers to step back in shock...

"She's a CPU?!" one of the other soldiers cried out as the light faded, revealing Iris Heart.

"A dominatrix CPU?!" another soldier gasped.

 _"What the hell?!"_ screamed Adrian. "*This* is your HDD form?!"

"That's right," the CPU chuckled as she pulled out a whip. "In this form, you may refer to me as Your Ladyship Iris Heart."

 _"IRIS HEART?!"_ the soldier freaked. "It can't be... Lady Neptune's horror story was **true?!"**

"Every. Single. Bit of it." Iris smirked as she lashed her whip against the ground. "So you know what you're in for..." She then glanced at the trio of military men. "And if you three know what's good for you, **you won't interfere!"**

"No ma'am, Your Ladyship!" the three stood to attention.

"You traitors!" Adrian cried as the dominatrix approached...

"Now then... it's time for your punishment~"

 ** _"NOOOOOOOOO!"_**

*crack* *crack* *crack*

 _"Auuuugghh!"_

"Scream harder for me!" *crack* crack*

"Oh, the horror!" cried one soldier.

"Alas, poor Adrian! We knew thee well..." lamented the second soldier.

"You shall never be forgotten, our dear fallen comrade!" the third soldier saluted.

 _"I'M NOT DEAD, YOU IDIOTS!"_ Adrian screamed.

"Oh, you'll be *wishing* for death when I'm through with you..." said Iris Heart.

"GAAAAAH, THE PAIN! **THE PAAAAAAIN!"**

"Oh dear Goddess..." one of the soldiers gasped.

"I don't think it's supposed to bend that way..." another soldier muttered in disbelief.

"I can't watch anymore!" the last soldier covered his eyes.

"PLEASE, STOOOOOOOOP!"

Usually, Iris Heart would have ignored her victim's pleas... but then she remembered the promise she made to Peach. Thus, she asked, "So, are you sorry for breaking dear Peashy's heart? For fooling around with another girl?"

 **"YES!** I'm sorry! I'm so, so very sorry!" cried Adrian.

"So you won't have eyes for any other girl than Peashy ever again~?"

"No! Never again! I'll never hurt Peashy again, I swear! _I swear it!"_

"Hmmm..." Iris pondered this for a few moments. "All right... fine. If you've learned your lesson, then I'll back off," she sighed as she removed her high heel from the soldier's spine. "But *only* because Peashy made me promise to go easy on you... You'd better thank her profusely for her mercy!" She then turned and started to walk away...

"Oh, thank you, Peashy..." Adrian grunted as he lay prone on the ground. "Ohh, the pain..."

"...Oh, one more thing," The CPU stopped. "That girl you were with... who is she, and where is she now?"

The man's eyes went wide. "No... please, leave her out of this..."

 _"What was that?!"_ The dominatrix's whip lashed out and dragged Adrian to his feet by his neck. "Did I just hear you say, 'Please punish me more?'"

"H-her name is Keisha! She lives in Lastation! She's good friends with Lady Noire! Black hair, green eyes, red headband, red school uniform with a golden bow on the chest! That's all I know, I swear...!"

"Good boy," Iris Heart nodded, letting him slide bonelessly to the ground once more. "See how easy that was? You know how to follow orders, _petty officer_... next time, obey _promptly._ Now if you'll excuse me..." With that, she spread her wings and flew off.

Adrian's fellow soldiers were still frozen in terror for almost a minute, before they finally sprung into action. "Medic! Medic! We got a man down! Send a stretcher! Repeat, Adrian-118 is down!"

"Oh sure, *now* you call for backup..." Adrian groaned.

 _*Meanwhile...*_

Peach's eyes went wide as her mother explained the situation with Adrian and K-Sha to her. "Lastation's CPU...? A favor...? I-it was just a training session...?" Her cell phone slipped from her fingers and clattered onto the floor.

"Hello? Peach?" Lisa's voice sounded from the phone. "Are you there? Hello...?"

"My Goddess..." Peach whimpered, staring off into space. "What have I done...?!"

*To be continued...*


	18. Episode 18: Chaos in Lastation

Episode 18 is live! Will Iris Heart find K-Sha?

Author Candidate-James Scott- Spanking Plutia? Let's hope that doesn't come back to haunt you later...

DaToskin/JakandJim- Yeah, Peach mucked up big time... Surely Adrian will understand though...

GX-Nepgear- Let me call Compa to fix up your leg, OK?

MrNovaxc- Yeah, Adrian's probably gonna be laid up in the hospital for a few days...

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 18

by Derald Snyder

"You sicced Iris Heart on Adrian?! Peashy, what were you _thinking?!"_ Vert said disconcertedly over the phone.

"I'm sorry!" Peach squeaked in distress. "And what's worse, Adrian turned out to be innocent! I can't forgive myself...!"

"A-all right, calm down," The CPU ordered. "First of all, is Adrian the _only_ one Plutia's going after...?"

"...oh no," Peach's voice was barely above a whisper. "She'd... she'd go after that girl too, wouldn't she...?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did..." Vert sighed. "Hold on, I'm getting another call..." she checked the ID. "Oh, no, it's Leanbox City Military Base... Looks like Sadie already finished her punishment of Adrian."

"Lady Vert!" Peach suddenly yelled. "Y-you have to go to Lastation and stop her! You're the only one who can!"

"Y-yes, of course..." (But she probably won't listen to me in that form, unless...) Suddenly an idea occurred to her. "Peach, I'm going, but no matter what you do, keep your cell phone line open! That's an order!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Peach agreed. "Please hurry!" She then hung up.

"Chika, you're in charge until I get back!" The busty CPU ordered as she transformed. "Also, call Lastation and warn them of what's coming their way!"

"Yes, Lady Vert!" Chika nodded as Green Heart opened the window and flew off...

 _*A minute later, at the Lastation Basilicom...*_

"Y-you're kidding me!" Noire gasped as Chika relayed the bad news to her. "All because Vert's bodyguard caught Petty Officer First Class Johns with K-Sha at precisely the wrong time?! ...Vert's on her way? Good! I'm gonna need all the help I can get here... OK, thanks. Bye!" Lastation's CPU closed her cell phone before calling, _"Uni!"_

"What is it, sis?!" Uni ran up.

"You need to transform and haul butt to K-Sha's school!" Noire ordered. "Tell her to go and hide somewhere, fast!"

"Huh? But why?" The CPU Candidate asked in confusion.

Noire looked her sister straight in the eye. **"Iris Heart is on the warpath."**

Uni gasped in shock. "Wh-what?! But why K-Sha? What'd she do?!"

"No time to explain! Go!" Noire yelled, pointing. "I'll hold her here as long as I can!"

"R-right!" Uni nodded, before running and jumping through the window with a *crash!*, invoking her HDD as she fell, using the momentum of gravity to get up to speed as she flew off in the direction of K-Sha's school...

"...You could have opened the window first," Noire muttered as she observed the Uni-sized hole in the glass.

 _*In the air above Lastation City...*_

(I still don't understand why Plutia's after K-Sha of all people!) thought Black Sister as she flew at full speed. (But that doesn't matter! I have to hurry and warn her before...)

"My, where are *you* flying off to in such a rush?" a voice cut into the goddess's thoughts... one that filled her veins with ice. She turned her head...

And sure enough, it was Iris Heart herself flying next to her. (Oh, *shit*! She's here already?!)

"It wouldn't have to do with a certain girl named Keisha, would it?" the dominatrix suggested.

Black Sister immediately screeched to a stop in mid-air. "I don't have to answer you!" she screamed as she summoned her gun and pulled the trigger, Iris Heart easily dodging her shots.

"I'll take that as a yes," the purple-haired goddess chuckled as she closed the distance, grabbing Black Sister in a seemingly affectionate embrace. Stroking the CPU Candidate's chin, she asked, "Perhaps you could tell me where she is...?"

"Not in a million years!" Black Sister retorted defiantly, kneeing her opponent in the groin, then backing off just enough to put her gun's barrel right in her face. _"Take this!"_ she screamed as she unleashed a bright blue beam of energy at point-blank range...

Only to feel a whip snag her around the neck, dragging her down. "Missed me~" Iris taunted.

(How did she dodge at point-blank range?!) Black Sister thought in panic, just before she was slammed into the ground, her transformation breaking as a result.

"Now then..." Iris Heart smirked as she put her high-heel on Uni's groin. "Care to tell me where she is...?"

 _*A few minutes earlier...*_

"School's out!" K-Sha proclaimed happily as she exited the building alongside a few NPC students. "I wonder if I'll be able to see Noire today?"

"Sheesh, K, why don't you just propose to her already?!" one her fellow students ribbed, causing the others to laugh as the brunette blushed red.

"Hey, there's something going on up in the sky!" another student pointed. Everyone looked up, to see the two CPUs fighting.

"Th...that's Uni!" K-Sha gasped as she squinted at the figures in the sky. "But who's she fighting?"

The students then saw Uni unleash a blue beam of energy. "She got 'em!" One student proclaimed triumphantly.

"No she didn't!" another student cried as Uni was pulled down to the ground with an audible crash.

"Oh no! Uni's in trouble!" K-Sha immediately dashed off towards the scene. "You guys, call the police!"

"Wait, K!" one of the students called after her, to no avail...

 _*Back with Uni...*_

"Why do you want to punish K-Sha anyway?!" Uni protested from her position on the ground. "I deserve to at least know that much!"

"She broke my dear Peashy's heart, that's why," Iris Heart responded. "No one hurts Peashy like that and gets away with it- be she child or adult." She pressed her heel a little harder into Uni's groin causing her to cry out in pain. "Last chance, Uni... _Where is Keisha?!"_

Suddenly, the familiar *ratatatatatat* of a machine gun rang out, Iris Heart screaming in surprise and pain as she was pelted from behind by several bullets, before turning to see the offender...

"Right behind you," K-Sha stated, the barrel of her machine gun smoking.

"K-Sha!" Uni gasped in surprise.

"K-Sha?" Iris Heart blinked. "That's a strange way to pronounce it..."

"Let her go," the brunette calmly demanded. "I'm the one you want..."

"No, K-Sha!" Uni protested. "You don't stand a cha- _aaaggghh!"_ she cried out as Iris kicked her in the groin, before kicking her aside. The HDD CPU then strode up to K-Sha, summoning her sword.

"So you're the one who broke my dear friend's heart?" she stated. "The one who tried to seduce her Mr. Adrian away from her?"

"I seduced no one," K-Sha said calmly. "Your friend, if she's who I think she is, got the wrong idea..."

"And I'm just supposed to take you at your word?" Iris retorted. "Even if what you say is true, you still caused her so much heartache... for that I can't forgive you." Her sword transformed to whip-mode, which lashed against the ground. "And you will not leave until you accept all of my boiling rage..."

"Oh, yeah?" the brunette shot back. "I don't know who you are or where you came from, but if you think I'm just going to submit to your so-called rage, you've got another thing coming. _TRANSFORM!"_ With that, she was engulfed in a golden light, causing the dominatrix to step back in mild shock. When the light faded, the Gold Third member was now wearing a black hat with small decorative metal wings, and an eyepatch over her right eye, while the iris of her uncovered eye was now gold in color. A strange metal apparatus floated behind her, with a large 'K' in a circle labeled on its right side.

"This is the Gold Form!" K-Sha declared, "A power that can easily keep pace with your HDD!" With that, she summoned two small golden machine guns, cocking them.

Iris Heart simply laughed, not intimidated in the least. "Well, this is interesting... so the little heart-breaker wants to _play,_ does she? Well, I'm game!" She lashed her sword-whip against the ground again. "Shall we, then~?"

"It's show time," K-Sha affirmed as she took aim...

*To be continued...*

CLIFFHANGER! So, who do you think is going to win? Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen!


	19. Episode 19: Sadie VS Yandere

It's Sadie VS Yandere! Get Ready, FIGHT!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 19

by Derald Snyder

"It's show time," K-Sha affirmed as she took aim. Depressing the triggers, she let loose with a rain of bullets that Iris Heart simply leapt up and flew into the air to avoid.

"Lead bullets... so predictable in their path, so easy to dodge~" the dominatrix CPU taunted.

"How about this, then?!" the brunette retorted as she fired an RPG... which was simply sliced in half by Iris Heart's sword, exploding harmlessly. She then closed the distance, lashing out with a brutal kick, which K-Sha crossed her arms to block, only being pushed back slightly.

Undeterred, Iris followed up by slashing at K-Sha in a V-shaped pattern. _"Fighting Viper!"_ she intoned, the attack sending K-Sha into a brick wall.

The former mercenary quickly regained her feet, before summoning four virtual cards in front of her. "Try dodging this!" she declared as she selected one of the cards, summoning a pair of Twinbits. "Go!" The Twinbits promptly opened fire with several wide energy waves...

"Shit!" Iris Heart screamed as she was pelted by quite a few of the waves, unable to completely dodge such a wide-ranged attack. She then saw the two drones pull back next to K-Sha, all three of them charging an attack...

 _"THUNDER!"_ she cried, the electric discharge disabling one of the Twinbits. The brunette was undeterred, as she and the remaining drone fired massive energy beams at Iris Heart, catching her in the side as she tried to spin out of the way. "So, you *can* fight..."

"Ready to surrender?" said K-Sha.

"Not by a long shot. _Heal!"_ A green wave of energy washed over the CPU, causing her pain to ease as she took flight again, weaving in a three-dimensional pattern to avoid K-Sha's machine gun fire. "Don't tell me that's the only trick you have..."

"Not by a long shot," K-Sha retorted mockingly, as she abruptly took flight herself. Unknown to Iris Heart, her 'eyepatch' was actually a high-tech scanner, allowing her to analyze the CPU's flight path.

(There!) thought the brunette, flying downward, stretching out her arm... and catching Iris Heart by the throat, taking the dominatrix off-guard as she was forcibly pulled down and slammed into the ground.

Remembering Adrian's device, K-Sha quickly backed off, waiting for her opponent's next move... The CPU got to her feet, cracking her neck slightly, a miffed expression on her face.

"Not bad," Iris Heart admitted, "Did Mr. Adrian teach you that?"

"Something like that," K-Sha allowed, taking a defensive stance. "That's what we were really doing- combat training!"

"Sorry, don't buy it," Iris shot back, as her sword-whip suddenly lashed out and wrapped tightly around K-Sha, before giving her a severe electric shock, the former mercenary screaming in pain... "And that's just for starters..."

"You... made a big mistake..." K-Sha grunted.

"And what mistake was that?" Iris Heart taunted. She got her answer as K-Sha's weapons apparatus rose up from behind her.

 _"Final missile!"_ K-Sha intoned, a small door opening on the side of the apparatus, shooting off three gold-colored missiles!

"Damn it!" The HDD CPU took flight again, one missile exploding at the spot where she'd just been standing, while the other two tracked her position... she managed to kick one away, only for the last one to nail her dead on!

"Fire homing laser!" K-Sha ordered as she worked herself free of her bonds, her apparatus charging and then firing a large multi-colored laser that Iris Heart had no chance to dodge, creating a large explosion!

 _*Some distance away...*_

"What is that?!" Green Heart gasped at seeing the mushroom cloud.

"That's K-Sha's EXE Drive!" cried Black Heart. She'd been tipped off by Uni while K-Sha and Iris Heart were fighting, and managed to meet up with Leanbox's CPU on the way over.

"We had better hurry!" said Green Heart, angling her wings to try and increase her speed...

 _*Back with K-Sha...*_

The brunette had finally gotten free of Iris Heart's sword-whip, her eye-scanner telling her that her opponent still drew breath, though her vitals had dropped substantially...

"I can tell you're on the ropes, CPU!" she called out. "I highly suggest you surrender!"

But then, she heard two words that dashed her feeling of quiet triumph... _"Hyper Heal."_ Sure enough, Iris Heart's vitals immediately jumped back into the green zone, as her sword pulled itself together and gravitated back toward its owner, the HDD CPU slowly rising into the air, sitting in a legs-crossed position as the sky darkened, the rumble of thunder audible. "I've taken quite a liking to you, K-Sha... so I'll show you my special attack~... _THUNDER BLADE KICK!"_ Lightning flashed in the sky as she raised her sword high, before lightning struck the sword, Iris swinging it down, striking K-Sha with a high-voltage thunderbolt, which caused her weapons apparatus to explode!

"Agh!" The Gold Third member cried as she was thrown flat to the ground by the explosion... picking her head up, she saw Iris standing confidently a short distance away.

"Let me give you a little _extra_ service!" said the CPU as she blew a kiss at her opponent, summoning a ring of energy which lashed out with four beams that closed in and struck with full force, breaking K-Sha's Gold Form and nearly rendering her unconscious.

"Aww, finished already?" Iris Heart chuckled as she slowly walked up... "And I was just starting to enjoy myself..." But then, two figures dropped between her and K-Sha.

"All right, Plutia, that's enough," Black Heart ordered. "You've caused enough pain and chaos for one day..."

Iris Heart frowned. "And just who are *you* to tell me what to do?" She then glanced over at Green Heart, who was holding her mobile device to her ear. Briefly locking eyes with the dominatrix, she held up a finger, signaling her to wait. "...hello? Oh, good, there you are! Yes, she's here... All right, just a moment..." She then held the phone out to Iris. "It's for you... it's Peashy."

Iris Heart blinked, before taking the phone from Green Heart... "Hello?" She immediately winced and pulled her head away. "Peashy, not so loud! You're hurting my ears!" She then put her ear back to the device. "What's that now? A mistake? Are you sure...? ...your mother? Well, yes, I suppose you'd trust *her* word... Yes. Yeah, all right, I get it! You know I could never say no to you, dear Peashy... alright, fine, I'll see you later... What? I owe Adrian an apology? Well in that case, so do you... Fine, fair enough. OK, then. Bye." She hung up and handed the device back to it's owner. "Well, Miss K-Sha, it seems today's your lucky day... you're off the hook."

"Thank goodness..." K-Sha grunted as Black Heart helped her up and supported her. "Noire, you saved me..."

"Technically, it was Vert who saved you," the CPU pointed out. "And Peashy..."

"I'm just glad we got here in time," Green Heart sighed. "By the way... where is Uni?"

K-Sha gasped in shock, looking around. "Oh no, Uni! I completely forgot about her...!"

"I'm right here, K-Sha," The CPU Candidate stated as she slowly walked up. "Why do you think Noire and Vert closed in on your location so fast?" Uni then winced as she looked her fellow gun nut over. "Ouch, you got it a lot worse than me..."

"We may as well take her back to the Basilicom to recover," said Black Heart.

"Fine by me," K-Sha agreed. "Noire's going to nurse me back to health~"

"Then Plutia and I will return to Leanbox," stated Green Heart.

"...Fine. Guess I've had my fun for today," sighed the dominatrix, before reverting to Plutia. "I'm tired, Vert... can you carry me back, please~?" Without waiting for a answer, she laid down and went to sleep.

"Th... that's her normal form?!" K-Sha exclaimed with a sweat-drop.

"Yep, that's her," Uni deadpanned. "She's like yin and yang with her HDD..." She then transformed into her own HDD again. "Anyway, let's head home, OK?"

"Yes," nodded Black Heart as they rose into the air. "And you and I need to have a talk about jumping through closed windows..."

"Aww, Noire..." Black Sister groaned as the trio flew off. "Thanks again for your help, Vert!"

"Anytime!" Green Heart called after them as she picked up the snoozing Plutia in her arms. "Feels like deja vu," she muttered as she began her own flight back to Leanbox...

*To be concluded...*

ookami486 wins 10 bucks... anyway, leave a review!


	20. Episode 20: Apologies

It's the big 2-0... I would have had this up sooner, but my modem decided to go bonkers on me...

Author Candidate James Scott- It's always nice to care for family... but I'm personally no good at fighting games.

ookami486- Don't go crazy at the slots because of this... :P

MrNovaxc- Well, Sadie's never fought K-Sha before, so she would get caught off-guard at some points...

tamerlan110- O_o OK... how about you go back to Soviet Russia, where RPGs fire YOU!

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 20

by Derald Snyder

 _*Leanbox Military Base- Medical Ward*_

"Mr. Adrian~..."

Adrian groaned in pain as he slowly opened his eyes. His body had bandages and wrappings all over from the 'punishment' he'd gotten from Iris Heart...

And has he looked to his left, where the voice was coming from, he saw none other than Plutia herself, causing him to rear up in fear, despite the pain he felt from such an action.

"Take it easy, Adrian," another voice up, "we're all friends here, after all..." The soldier's gaze focused on Peach, who was standing directly behind the CPU, immediately feeling his fear ease a bit. "Plutia has something she wants to tell you. Right, _Ploot?"_

It was then that Adrian noticed that Plutia had a somewhat guilty look on her face. "Mr. Adrian... I'm sorry for what I did. We made a big mistake... But seeing Peashy so sad and upset just got me so worked up..."

"So... I'm guessing Lisa told you the truth of what happened?" Adrian inquired to his girlfriend.

"Y-yeah... she did..." Then the dam broke, tears streaming down Peach's face as she wrapped her arms around the soldier's neck. "Oh, Adrian, I'm soooo sorry! I-I was such an _idiot...!_ I should've known better! I should've kn-known you wouldn't do that to meeee-! *hic* *sob*" She pulled away a bit to look her boyfriend in the eye. "C-can you ever f-forgive me...?"

"...You sicced a literal horror story on me," Adrian pointed out. "Even if she *did* turn out to be a good friend of yours..."

Plutia interrupted, "But I was the one who suggested punishing you in the first place, Mr. Adrian..."

"But I said yes," Peach sighed. "I can't take that back, no matter how much I want to..."

"At least let me ease your pain, Mr. Adrian," the purple-haired CPU offered. _"Heal..."_

The soldier breathed in as the green wave of energy washed over him, feeling his pain ease up somewhat. "Alright Plutia, apology accepted. Thanks." He then focused his gaze back on Peach. "As for you, Peashy... if you really want to make this up to me..."

 _"Anything,"_ Peach insisted.

"Then... you'll take over Keisha's training for me. That'll prove to me you're sincere..."

"Actually, it's K-Sha," Plutia corrected.

"Whatever."

"Deal," Peach agreed. "But only after Ploot goes home. I don't want to risk another fight..."

"Fight?!" Adrian's eyes went wide as realization dawned. "Plutia, you didn't..."

"Yep. I did," the goddess confirmed. "But Vert and Noire and Peashy stopped me before I could really punish her, so..."

The petty officer could only shake his head in disbelief. "Geez, talk about disproportionate retribution... is she always like this, Peach?"

"I wouldn't know," the blonde shrugged. "I only just found out the truth about her HDD myself... and that was after I Dempsey Rolled her into submission... or so I thought, anyway."

"Yeah, that really hurt..." Plutia winced at the memory. "You sure taught her well, Mr. Adrian..."

Adrian chuckled lightly. "Much as I'd like to take credit, Peach kinda taught herself that technique..."

 _*About a week later...*_

"Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!" cried K-Sha as she hurled punches and kicks at Peach, who easily blocked every strike.

"You're bein' too predictable!" Peach taunted. "You wanna take me down, you gotta do something I'm not ready for!"

"Oh, yeah? How about _this?!"_ K-Sha shot back, ducking under the blonde's fist before elbowing her hard in her left breast.

 _"Aggh!"_ Peach cried in pain, giving K-Sha the opening to thrust her palm under her opponent's ribcage, pushing her off balance just enough for the brunette to throw her whole body weight forward and push down with her arm, succeeding in slamming the former staff sergeant to the ground.

"Ouch," Chika winced as she and Vert watched. "That must have hurt..."

"Indeed, my breast could almost feel that pain," said Vert. "It's clear why Peach prefers to wear armor on the clock..."

Fortunately, Peach quickly recovered, jumping back to her feet. "OK, that wasn't half-bad. Just remember that males won't have such an obvious weak spot to exploit..."

"Well, maybe I could just nail them between the legs instead," K-Sha suggested.

"That could work," the blonde shrugged indifferently. "Heck, I did that to Adrian once or twice when he started training me in CQC..."

"Ouch, poor Mr. Adrian," K-Sha winced.

"Yeah, well, he got wise to *that* pretty quick..." Peach smiled wryly. "Anyway, let's move on. You know how to escape a headlock?"

"Would it surprise you if I said yes?" stated the former mercenary.

Peach just chuckled. "Alright, then... _show me!_ " she declared as she advanced, quickly grabbing K-Sha in a tight headlock. "Can you get outta this?!"

 _"Oh no!_ Peashy, say it isn't so!" A male voice cried out. The two looked up to see Adrian a short distance away, leaning on a crutch. "I thought you loved me, and here I see you embracing another girl intimately! How could you do this to me?!" His tone was absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

K-Sha just rolled her eyes, before pressing her finger into the pressure point just below Peashy's nose, causing her to recoil in pain, her grip loosening just enough for the brunette to pry herself loose. "Consider yourself dumped, Peashy! I'm going back to Noire!"

"Oh, K-Sha, must you be such a heart-breaker?!" Peach cried over-dramatically. All three then burst into laughter.

"How nice," observed Vert, "that they're able to joke about their misunderstanding now..."

"I guess," Chika said, "but shouldn't Petty Officer Johns' leg have been healed by now?"

"Thanks for reminding me, Chika," Peach called to her as she marched up to her boyfriend, before unceremoniously kicking his crutch away.

 _"Auuuugh,_ my leg!" Adrian cried, falling to the ground and clutching at said limb.

"Oh, stop it," Peach shook her head. "You're not fooling me, I know you're not that hurt."

"You're right, I'm not." The soldier promptly stood to his feet. "Still gonna be a few days before I'm fit to return to service, though..."

"I'm just glad you two have made up," Vert nodded. "Honestly, this whole thing could have been avoided if K-Sha had just trained under Peach in the first place... She *was* the combat instructor for Adrian's unit before she was dismissed, after all..."

"Which I had to take over after she was discharged," Adrian pointed out. "Even though I'm more of a jack-of-all-trades..."

"Well, it makes sense, you *were* the one who taught me initially," Peach said.

"Well, I personally think Peach is the better teacher," K-Sha cut in. "No offense, Mr. Adrian, but you always seemed to treat me with kid gloves... Like you were afraid to hurt me. At least Miss Peach doesn't pull her punches..."

"Please don't call me 'Miss'..." Peach sighed.

Adrian just shrugged. "Yeah, well, I take one look at you, and I see a cute innocent little girl, though I know you're not... After all, you're crazy good with guns, though you waste a bit too much ammo, in my opinion..."

"So you don't think I'm cute, Adrian?" Peach moaned with mock sadness.

"Cute yes, innocent no," her boyfriend shot back. "Need I remind you, the very first thing you did when we first met was to take a swing at me..."

 _"What."_ Chika deadpanned.

"Seriously?!" gasped K-Sha. "What he'd do?"

"Technically, nothing," Peach admitted. "But after I clobbered his drunk friend, he felt compelled to step in... and I ended up flat on my back. Of course, all I knew how to do back then was punch, and punch harder..."

"But I could tell you had potential, which was why I started teaching you," said Adrian. "Man, you shoulda seen the look on my friend's face when I told him we'd started dating!" He began to laugh. "He was all like, 'How could you do this to me, Adrian! I thought we were friends!' and stuff..."

K-Sha and Peach were both laughing now, while Chika was tittering a bit. Even Vert had one hand politely covering her mouth as she chuckled.

"Yeah," Peach managed to get out, "and I wonder how he reacted when it came out that I was Sergeant DeRommer!"

"Heh, I think he said something along the lines of, 'Why am I not surprised'..." Chika laughed harder at this.

"All right, children, that's enough," Vert gently admonished. "It's almost dinnertime after all, and Chika needs to get the food ready..."

"What! It's that late already?!" Chika gasped. "Why didn't you say so, Lady Vert?! I've got to get back to the Basilicom and start cooking! Especially since I cook for three now!" With that, she dashed off.

"Yeah, I guess that's it for our lesson today," sighed Peach. "So I'll see you next week, K-Sha, same time, same place, OK?"

"Sure," the brunette nodded. "See you later, Mr. Adrian, Peach!" she called as she ran off, stopping briefly to retrieve her school bag. "I'm coming home, Noire~!"

"Bye!" The blonde waved.

"What a sweet kid," Adrian chuckled. "Guess I'd better be shoving off too..."

"You sure you don't need any help?" Peach asked as she handed her boyfriend's crutch to him.

"I'll be fine," Adrian shook his head. "Love you, Peashy."

"Love you, Adrian." Then they kissed.

And so another day passed in Leanbox...

*Episode 20- End*

And with this episode, this fanfic will now go on hiatus, so I can focus on 'Turnabout of the Revengers'. But hopefully this isn't the last we'll see of Peach and friends...


	21. Episode 21: Holding Out For A Hero

After watching the music video for 'Holding Out For A Hero' by Bonnie Taylor, I just couldn't get this idea out of my head... So here's an tribute/affectionate parody!

DaToskin- Please don't cry... here's another episode for you...

Author Candidate-James Scott- Ultra!Rei was just a cameo at the end of 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout'... I highly doubt she's going to make another appearance anytime soon...

ROCuevas- Hopefully this'll tide you over while you wait for the next RR:AA chapter.

Holix25- It doesn't help that almost all the men in Neptunia are either in mech-suits or black-shadowed NPCs...

And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 21

by Derald Snyder

(A small wooden house from the Wild West era is seen with lights on, late at night. Music starts up as Anonydeath, wearing a black cowboy hat, lashes out with a neon-colored whip, causing the left window to burst into flames.)

(We then see Nepgear, CyberConnect2, Uni, and Nisa dancing, all dressed in white togas with gold trim, before cutting back to show Steamax wearing a black cowboy hat, lashing out with his whip, causing the right window to burst into flames)

(Cut to Peach, dressed in period dress getting up from her bed in panic, as we see Affmojas in a black cowboy hat lash out with his whip, setting the door aflame, before cutting back to Nepgear and co.)

Nepgear and co.: _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

 _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

 _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

(They all splay their arms)

 _Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!_

(Peach runs out of the house, before falling to her knees a safe distance away from the burning house)

Peach: _Where have all the good men gone_

 _And where are all the gods?_

 _Where's the street-wise Hercules_

 _To fight the rising odds?_

(Affmojas, Steamax, and Anonydeath come out from the darkness, standing behind Peach)

 _Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?_

 _Late at night I toss and I turn and dream of what I need..._

 _I need a hero!_

(Cut to Peach dressed in a loose white dress that ruffles in the wind as she stands over a large canyon)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night_

 _He's gotta be strong_

 _And he's gotta be fast_

 _And he's gotta be fresh from the fight_

 _I need a hero!_

(Cut back to Peach in front of the burning house)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light_

 _He's gotta be sure_

 _And it's gotta be soon_

 _And he's gotta be larger than life_

 _Larger than life..._

(Cut back to Nepgear and co.)

Nepgear and co.: _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

 _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

 _Do-do-do-dooooooo..._

(They all splay their arms)

 _Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!_

(Cut to Peach inside the undamaged house, slowly walking over to the bed, before laying on it)

Peach: _Somewhere after midnight_

 _In my wildest fantasy_

 _Somewhere just beyond my reach_

 _Someone reaching back for me_

(She picks up a black-and-white picture of Adrian)

 _Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat_

(Peach suddenly looks up, seeing Affmojas at the door. She backs up against the wall as Affmojas cracks his neon whip menacingly)

 _It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet_

 _I need a hero!_

(Cut to a shot of the canyon river, then the canyon itself)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night_

 _He's gotta be strong_

 _And he's gotta be fast_

 _And he's gotta be fresh from the fight_

 _I need a hero!_

(Cut back to Peach in front of the burning house, as Affmojas, Steamax, and Anonydeath begin to walk around her, like sharks circling their prey)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light_

 _He's gotta be sure_

 _And it's gotta be soon_

 _And he's gotta be larger than life!_

(Peach looks around desperately)

 _I need a hero!_

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night..._

(Suddenly, the sound of an engine revving is heard, and we see the wheels of a Jeep. The three robo-men break and run, jumping on their hover-bikes and speeding off.)

(We see brief clips of Nepgear and co. dancing, inter-spliced with the action, as we see that the front of the jeep has a white horse-head decoration.)

(Fast-paced heroic trumpets start up as we finally see the driver- Adrian, decked out in full combat gear, save for his head, which is adorned with a white cowboy hat.)

(Adrian draws his sidearm, takes aim, and fires. Anonydeath is hit and falls off his hover-bike, which keeps going without him for a short while.)

(Affmojas and Steamax look behind them, seeing Adrian in hot pursuit, and gun it in panic.)

(Cut back to Peach in white dress standing over the canyon)

Peach: _Up where the mountains meet the heavens above_

 _Out where the lightning splits the sea_

 _I would swear that there's someone somewhere_

 _Watching me_

(Adrian fires again, striking Steamax and knocking him off his vehicle. Now Affmojas is alone)

 _Through the wind and the chill and the rain_

 _And the storm and the flood_

 _I can feel his approach_

 _Like the fire in my blood..._

(Cut back to Nepgear and co.)

Nepgear: _Like the fire in my blood-_

CyberConnect2: _Like the fire in my blood-_

Uni: _Like the fire in my blood-_

Nisa: _Like the fire in my blood-_

All: _Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah!_

(Cut back to Peach standing over the canyon)

Peach: _I need a hero!_

(Adrian's gun: BANG!)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night_

 _He's gotta be strong_

 _And he's gotta be fast_

 _And he's gotta be fresh from the fight_

 _I need a hero!_

(Adrian's gun: BANG!)

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light_

 _He's gotta be sure_

 _And it's gotta be soon_

 _And he's gotta be larger than life_

 _I need a hero!_

 _I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night..._

(Fade to Nepgear and co. standing as the wind ruffles their togas)

Nepgear and co.: _OOOOoooooh... oooooOOOOOoooooooh... oooOOOOooooh..._

(Adrian's gun: BANG!)

(Affmojas is finally hit, as his hover-bike spins out of control before crashing in a fiery explosion. Adrian lowers his firearm as he nods to himself- mission accomplished)

Nepgear and co.: _OOOOoooooh... oooooOOOOOoooooooh... oooOOOOooooh..._

(Slow fade to Peach sitting on her knees in front of her burnt-out house, before looking up and seeing Adrian standing there, a smile slowly spreading over her face as the music fades out...)

"Sorry, I'm late, Peashy."

"I was hoping it would be you that saved me..."

"Well, of course, I'm the only heroic male in this entire story, what'd you expect?"

(Aaaaand cue face-palm...)

*Episode 21- End*

Just so we're clear, this episode is not necessarily canon to the larger narrative... Anyways, let me know what you think!


	22. Episode 22: Winter Wars

And now, a winter-themed episode to help keep you cool during these hot summer days!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 22

by Derald Snyder

Despite it being the dead of winter, an innocent suggestion had caused things to spiral out of control, and the Console Wars had resumed between Lowee and Leanbox once more.

Peach hunkered down behind the embankment, wishing she'd been clad in her armor rather than winter clothes. The enemy was close, and one wrong move would result in a barrage of ordnance. Lowee was no stranger to winter combat, and their experience was definitely giving them the edge here. Chika had already been downed by a hit to the chest, currently laying on the ground, shivering from the cold... Peach chanced a glance over the wall, only to immediately duck as the enemy opened fire... thankfully, their ordnance sailed over her head and exploded harmlessly behind her.

"Sergeant!" A familiar voice called. "What's the situation?"

"Not good, Lady Vert," Peach shouted back. "Chika's down for the count, and the enemy's got me pinned!"

"Can't you use your jumping ability for an aerial attack?" Vert suggested.

"I would if I could get into position!" the blonde soldier retorted.

"What's the matter, Leanbox? Ready to give up yet?" Blanc's voice echoed from the other side.

"We have not yet begun to fight!" Vert yelled back defiantly. Turning back to Peach, she whispered, "I'll try and distract them while you get in position. Go!" Peach nodded and began to crawl into position, while Vert prepared two volleys of ordnance, quickly popping up and throwing them in the enemy's general direction. Retaliation was prompt, but Vert's speed served her well, allowing her easily dodge the counterattack...

By this time, Peach was locked and loaded in a crouching position. The moment she saw Vert duck out of the way, she launched herself into the air, rising several feet quickly... at the apex of her jump, she looked down and launched her projectiles...

...nailing both Rom and Ram right in the face, caught off-guard by snowballs coming from the sky. "Augh, she got us!" Ram exclaimed in surprise.

As Peashy fell back down, however, another snowball hit her in the face, causing her to recoil and land hard on her back. "Oww..."

"Ha! Right in the kisser!" Blanc crowed in triumph. "Looks like it's just you and me now, Thunder Tits!"

"...oh, but is it?" Vert taunted, as she heard an engine revving in the distance. Soon, a jeep appeared from over the hill, screeching to a halt between the two snow fortresses. "You're late, Adrian."

"Apologies, Lady Vert!" the petty officer grunted as he dismounted from the vehicle, walking to the back, where there was something covered in a tarpaulin. "Kinda got hung up on a snowbank back there..."

"Avenge me, Adrian!" Peach called, still lying on the ground as she brushed snow off her face.

"What the hell is this?!" Blanc demanded. "Calling for back-up's not fair!"

"You were the one that said this was a 'no-holds-barred' snowball fight," Vert pointed out. "Which means, there are no rules, and anything is fair game! Right, petty officer?"

"Yes ma'am!" Adrian responded as he removed the tarpaulin, revealing a machine with a push-handle, wheels, and a spout of some sort.

"W-what's that?" Rom asked.

"That's NOT what I think it is!" Blanc freaked out.

"That's right, Lady Blanc. It's a snow-blower!" Adrian taunted as he set the machine on the ground, before pulling the starter-cord. "Now, have a taste of Leanbox's _superior firepower!"_ Immediately the snow-blower went to work, ejecting a steady stream of snow from the spout, easily clearing the wall. Rom and Ram screamed as they were literally covered in snow, Blanc getting buried shortly thereafter.

"Victory is ours!" Vert announced. "Take that, Lowee!"

"W-we... w-we w-won?" Chika gasped between chattering teeth.

"Not by a long shot, _bitches!"_ Blanc yelled as a pillar of light erupted from the snow pile... when it faded, White Heart and the two White Sisters were floating in the air above the Leanbox team. "If that's how you wanna play it... Get' em, sisters! _No mercy!"_

"OK!" "Right!" The two HDD Candidates used their wands to materialize a gigantic ice crystal, which bore down upon the other team...

Only for Peach to leap up again, cocking her fist back, before shattering the crystal with one punch, raining several smaller icicles harmlessly over the field. "What-?!" the sisters gasped in shock. Adrian promptly took advantage of their distraction, firing an RPG upward, which nailed the pink-haired White Sister dead-on.

"They got me...!" Rom wailed as she fell, her transformation reverting.

"Damn you!" screamed White Heart as she flew down at Adrian, swinging her axe downward to cleave him in two-

-only to be blocked by HDD Green Heart's spear. "I think not! Adrian, now might be a good time for a tactical retreat..."

"Gladly!" said the petty officer as he revved the Jeep into gear, before turning and peeling out of the battle field in a plume of snow.

"Get back here!" cried the blue-haired White Sister as she gave chase... only to get nailed from behind by a Sylhet Spear attack. Looking behind her, she saw Chika, still shivering, but with a knowing smirk on her face, before the CPU Candidate's transformation reverted as she lost consciousness.

"Looks like you're the last one standing," Green Heart taunted as she and White Heart clashed. "Perhaps _you_ should be thinking of surrender..."

"Hell no!" cried Lowee's CPU defiantly, breaking away from Green Heart and rising high into the air. "Now, behold my **ultimate** snow-fighting technique!" she declared as she held out her axe and began to spin in place, faster and faster, until a vortex was formed, pulling snow from the ground which blew around her, obscuring her form...

"Wh-wh-what i-is th-that?!" exclaimed Chika.

Green Heart's eyes went wide. "Is that a..."

 _"SNOWNADO!"_ Peach screamed in horror. The three ladies attempted to make a break for it, only for the powerful blizzard winds to sweep Chika off her feet, causing her to collide with Green Heart, pulling both of them into the vortex... Peach desperately tried to grab on to the snow fortress' wall, only for it to break off... **"AAAAAAADRRIIIIIIAAAAAANNN!"** she screamed as she was pulled helplessly into the snownado...

The sound of his name caused Adrian to halt his Jeep and look back, eyes widening at seeing the snowy vortex... (Boy, good thing Lady Vert had me retreat when I did! Poor Peashy, though...) He turned his vehicle back around and waited for the storm to blow over. (Probably should contact the base and have them get warm blankets and soup ready...)

After a minute or two, the snownado dissipated, revealing a massive snow pile with random limbs of the three Leanbox ladies sticking out. White Heart slowly floated down, a triumphant smirk on her face. "You should have surrendered when you had the chance, Vert!" Her eyes then widened as something abruptly occurred to her. _(Shit!_ Rom and Ram! Where are they?!) The goddess began to look around frantically-

-but then a smaller mound of snow came apart, revealing Ram underneath. "Woooow... that was *awesome*, big sis!" she cried in delight. "Do it again!"

White Heart rolled her eyes at this. "Do you know where Rom is?" Just then, another mound of snow further away fell apart, revealing the girl in question, who promptly sneezed.

"Uh-oh... I think she's got a cold," Ram sighed.

"Dammit, I was afraid of that..." muttered the CPU as her axe dematerialized. Flying over to Ram, White Heart grabbed her and tucked under one arm, before flying over to Rom and doing the same. "C'mon, you two, let's get home, so Mina and Financier can get you some warm soup..."

"But I'm not sick!" Ram protested as the three flew off... a short time later, Vert managed to extract herself from the snow pile.

"Well, I suppose I brought that one on myself..." the CPU mused as she brushed snow out of her face. "Chika, Peach, can you hear me?"

"Mm-hmm," Chika muttered as she slowly dug herself out of the pile, soon finding a familiar pair of cushions... "A-at least I g-get t-to s-snuggle w-with y-you in th-this c-cold, Lady Vert..."

"I'm not Lady Vert," came Peashy's voice.

Chika's scream of dismay echoed over the snowy landscape, as Adrian returned to pick the three up and drive them back to the military base...

*Episode 22- End*


	23. Episode 23: Nepbook Fun(?)

Next episode, GO!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 23

By Derald Snyder

Nepgear was busy checking tech-blogs on the Internep when she got a Nepbook notification. Opening a new browser window, she checked her Nepbook account... and immediately burst into giggles.

"What's up, Nep Jr.?" Neptune asked as she walked into the room.

"This picture that just popped up on Nepbook!" Nepgear said, pointing to the computer screen, which showed a picture of Neptune's head on a tuna fish, and also Neptune's head on a can of tuna. The caption read: 'Introducing: Nep-tuna! With that familiar Neptune zest you all know and love (or hate)!'

Neptune blinked several times. "Ohhh-kaaaay... That must've been big Peashy that came up with that... she's the only one I can think of, anyway..."

"Maybe..." Nepgear shrugged, before a chime sounded from the computer. "Oh look, it's another picture!"

"Lemme see," muttered the CPU as she stood next to her sister. As her eyes took in the details of this new picture, said eyes suddenly shrunk to white circles in shock. "Uhhh..."

It was a black-and-white picture titled 'Film Noire', featuring the Lastation CPU with a blushing face, wearing a shimmering gown with a cigarette on a long holder, with the back of Neptune's head visible in the foreground, sporting a sweat-drop.

"Uh-oh..." muttered Nepgear, "I really hope Noire herself doesn't see this..."

 _*Meanwhile, in the Lastation Basilicom...*_

"What the hell is this?!" cried Noire upon seeing the picture, several veins popping on her forehead. "I ought to track down and skewer whoever made this picture on my rapier! I mean, I've never smoked _once_ in my entire life!"

 _*A short time later, at the Leanbox Basilicom...*_

 _"PEEEEACH!"_ Chika's voice echoed through the building.

The blonde soldier in question promptly paused her game, standing and turning to look at the door. (3, 2, 1...)

*SLAM!* went the door as Chika Hazozaki marched in holding a laptop. "Is *this* your idea of a joke?!" she demanded angrily, as she opened the laptop to show Peach...

The soldier blinked as she looked at the picture... it was Vert, standing up straight with arms over her head, while a picture of Chika herself laying perpendicular was superimposed over the CPU's image. The caption read: 'I just want to get HORIZONTAL with VERT-I-CAL.'

"You think I made this?" Peach asked incredulously. "Just 'cause I brought up the whole 'unsavory rumors' thing...?"

"That's not it!" cried Chika as she scrolled up, revealing the 'Nep-Tuna' image. _"This_ is why I suspect you!"

Peach sighed in slight exasperation. "OK, Chika, first of all, I can't draw to save my life. Secondly, I've been playing this strategy game for the past hour, up until you barged in. I haven't had the opportunity to upload stuff like this!"

The Oracle didn't look very convinced. "Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?"

"Don't ask me," Peashy shrugged... before hearing a chime from the computer. "Oh! Looks like another picture!" Chika promptly turned the laptop around to look, Peach walking beside her to get a look as well...

The caption stated, 'Sorry... I'm drawing a BLANC,' with a crudely-drawn picture of said CPU in angry-face mode, yelling "Damn you to hell!" in a spiked word bubble.

"Wonder how Lady Blanc would react to that..." Peach muttered.

 _*At that moment, at the Lowee Basilicom...*_

"...That's actually not too bad," Blanc muttered in apparent disinterest.

"Kinda looks like that picture of you we drew in your book recently," Ram added.

 **"WHAT-?!** You've been drawing in my books again?!" the CPU screamed in rage. _"You little shits...!"_

"Run away!" cried Rom as she and her sister fled Blanc's wrath...

 _*In an undisclosed location...*_

A girl with long, light-purple hair decorated with a single D-pad clip chuckled to herself as she worked on her latest picture- A photomanipulation of Nepgear's head superimposed on a dominatrix, while Uni's head was placed on the tied-up slave under the dom's heel. Saving the image, the girl nodded to herself before hitting 'POST' on her Nepbook account.

She then turns to face you, revealing white circles with thick black outlines for eyes, and a rectangular mouth...

"I TOLD YOU I'D BE BACK."

*Episode 23- End*

Nepgya strikes again! XD Read and review!


	24. Episode 24: Enter Uzume

I've finally decided to make a short story arc featuring Uzume Tennouboshi! Enjoy!

Author Candidate-James Scott- This is madness?! No. THIS. IS. NEPTUNIA! (I'm not sorry.)

NepIsLife- I have no idea what you mean...

GX-Nepgear- If they find her, that is...

MKoll- D'OH! Missed opportunity indeed. X(

Yoshiki-909- Thanks for all your suggestions, I'll take them into consideration.

ROCuevas- Darn her to heck! XD

Yuri Sniper Uni 13- She'd probably be completely embarrassed in public, while secretly saving it to her porn stash... :P

Phew, that was a lot of reviews to get through... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 24

By Derald Snyder

Uzume Tennouboshi was the kind of girl who was always ready and raring for a good scrap. She wasn't afraid to get her own hands dirty when it came to fighting enemies and monsters, which her well-worn fighting gloves could attest to.

But even she had her limits.

"Usu-meeee! Play with meee!" squealed Yellow Heart as she chased Uzume's HDD form, Orange Heart, through the skies of Planeptune.

"I don't wanna!" Orange wailed. "You hurt me too much when you're all big like this!"

"If big sis can handle me, so can you!" Yellow retorted, conveniently forgetting that she usually played with with 'older sister' Peach in her five-year-old human form. Then again, she _was_ only five...

"I said no!" Orange shot back as she tried to weave in and out between buildings, in the hope of losing her.

"Are we playing tag?" the thought suddenly occurred to Yellow Heart. "Yay! I love tag! I'm gonna make you iiiiiit!" she cried happily as she took off at high speed...

The two of them continued to fly between and around Planeptune City's various high-rises, until Orange Heart seemed to finally lose her pursuer, leaning against the wall of a skyscraper as she panted for breath. (OK, maybe I should go down to ground level while I can, de-transform, and hide myself...)

Before she could do that, however, Yellow Heart suddenly burst through the wall of the skyscraper, grabbing Orange Heart in a tight hug. "Gotcha~! You're iiiiittt!" the immature CPU yelled as they began to spin around...

"Peashy, stoooop!" The Planeptune CPU screamed as they began to spiral downward. "We're outta controoooooollll!"

"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Yellow squealed in joy as they fell, until the two crashed into the roof of a smaller apartment complex. Fortunately, it was Yellow Heart who took the brunt of the impact, which cracked the hard stone significantly.

Orange rolled off Yellow as her grip released, swirls in her eyes. "I hate falling-down dreams... especially when they turn real..."

"Woooow, that was so much fun!" Yellow said as she sat up. "Can we do that again, Usu-me? Can we can we?"

"Uuuggghhh..." Orange Heart groaned as she shook her head to get the little flying Umios to dissipate, before slowly standing to her feet, wobbling slightly. "Peashy?"

"Yeah?"

"Uzume has only... one word to say..."

"Yeah?!"

Taking a deep breath, Orange shouted into her megaphone with all her lung capacity, ** _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_**

 _"MY EEEEAAAAARRRRSS!"_ Yellow wailed in dismay as she clapped her hands over said ears, her transformation breaking, reverting her to five-year-old Peashy, who promptly collapsed on her backsides with swirly eyes. "Oooooowww..."

Orange immediately felt remorseful as she regarded the now-small blonde. "Oooopsie... guess I went a little too loud on the volume..." Putting her megaphone away, the HDD CPU picked up Peashy in her arms before beginning her flight back to the Basilicom. "I hope Nepsy won't be too mad with me..."

Unbeknownst to her, however, another Peashy was currently arriving by plane to Planeptune City, looking forward to another meeting with her 'little sister'... one who would make Uzume _really_ regret her mistake...

 _*To be continued...*_

Uh-oh... What will happen next?! Review!


	25. Episode 25: Bare Knuckle Brawlin'

Big Peashy vs. Uzume! Who will stand, who will fall?

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 25

by Derald Snyder

Peach paid her fare as she got off the bus, walking towards Planeptune's Basilicom, looking forward to her meeting with little Peashy. (Just hope she's not in HDD this time...) Knocking at the door, she was swiftly granted access by one of the Basilicom's priests who recognized her.

"Would you happen to know where the, um, smaller me is?" the blonde inquired politely.

"Currently being treated by Miss Compa for a... recent injury," the priest hedged.

"Wh-what? What happened?!" Peach demanded.

"It... it might be better for Miss Compa to explain it herself," the priest deferred. (That way, I won't have to suffer the brunt of your wrath...) "Right this way," he spoke aloud, turning and walking off, Peach following worriedly...

 _*Elsewhere inside the Basilicom...*_

To Uzume's surprise, it wasn't Neptune who was the most upset at her, but rather...

 _"You used your megaphone on Peashy at point-blank range?!"_ screamed Nepgear. "Uzume, how _could_ you?! You know she's only five! She can't handle that kind of sound, HDD or not!"

"I'm really, really sorry, Gearsy!" Uzume said as she took a step back, having reverted to her human form. "I can handle her when she's just a kid, it's when she transforms that she becomes too much to handle!"

"That's no excuse!" the CPU Candidate admonished. "You could have just distracted her with pudding if you didn't feel like playing with her in HDD! You had no right to damage her eardrums like that...!"

"OK, Nep Jr, I think you've made your point..." sighed Neptune. "That bein' said, you better hope Plutie doesn't find out about this, Uzume... 'cause I'm outtie if Sadie shows up."

"Urk!" Uzume's face went pale at hearing this. She could still remember seeing Iris Heart torturing that NPC bully in _MegaTagmension Blanc + Neptune VS Zombies..._ "That'd be the worst thing *ever*...!"

 _ **"UZUME TENNOUBOSHIIIII!"**_

"...and the second worst thing would be Big Peashy finding out," Neptune sighed.

"Oh goodness!" Nepgear gasped. "I completely forgot Miss Peach was visiting today...!" There was a sound of stomping feet, then the door slammed open, revealing a VERY angry Peach C. Macintosh, shrouded in a flaming aura.

"There you are, you red-headed bitch!" the blonde growled upon seeing Uzume.

"N-now wait a minute! Lemme explain!" the Dreamcast representative babbled as she slowly backed away.

"Explain nothing! Compa told me exactly what happened!" Peach shot back. "Foiling my prank on Neptuna way back in Episode 3 is one thing, but _blowing out my little sister' eardrums with a megaphone?!_ That crosses the line! I think a few cracks to the skull are in order, maybe **then** you'll understand how much _pain_ little Peashy is in!" She began to march forward...

"Hey hey hey!" Neptune grabbed at Peach's hoodie. "L-look, if you're gonna fight, can you at least take it outside so you don't end up leveling the Basilicom or somethin'?!"

The soldier hesitated briefly. "...yeah, good idea. Let's take this outside, that way I can give ya a _proper_ beat-down!" She promptly grabbed Uzume in a headlock and dragged her out the door, Neptune and Nepgear following at a distance...

 _*A few minutes later, outside...*_

Uzume and Peach stood a short distance from each other, in combat-ready poses. Nepgear had managed to get IF to referee the fight, so no-one could reasonably protest the outcome.

"This will be a one-on-one fistfight!" the Guild agent declared. "No weapons, armor, or transforming! Hitting your opponent in the eyes or the groin is an automatic disqualification! ...That means you lose."

"I know that!" Peach yelled. "I'm not stupid!"

"... Anyway, this fight will continue until one or both fighters are either KO'ed or unable to stand under their own power!" IF continued. "Fighters, ready... GO!"

The two immediately lunged at each other, managing to punch each other in the face in a classic cross-counter. The two then backed off, rubbing their sore cheeks...

"Well, glad to see you don't fall in a single blow," muttered Peach.

"Likewise," Uzume groaned. "Heard you were a glass cannon without your armor..."

"Well, I don't like getting hit in the chest... but what girl does?!" Peach yelled as she lashed out with a kick, which was blocked.

"Part of the reason I wear wrappings!" the redhead retorted as she countered with a roundhouse, which was ducked under. Peach then kicked at the knee of Uzume's standing leg to bring her down, but the CPU was able to shift her momentum and roll away before the blonde could take advantage.

"Go, big sis!" little Peashy exclaimed as she watched the fight, Compa sitting next to her, Neptune and Nepgear on their left and right respectively.

"I'm kinda conflicted, here..." Neptune sighed. "I dunno who to root for..."

"Me neither, Nep-Nep," Compa shrugged.

Meanwhile, the two combatants were now grappling, pushing against each other with gritted teeth... Peach appeared to be stronger, however, as she slowly began to push Uzume back... Uzume, however, suddenly fell back, pulling Peach down with her, before thrusting her leg into the blonde's abdomen, flipping her onto the ground behind the CPU. The two then righted themselves, turning to face each other once more, Uzume suddenly letting loose with a flurry of punches, only for most of them to be blocked or deflected by the blonde soldier, only a few blows actually connecting, causing negligible damage. Peach then grabbed Uzume by the arm, flipping her hard onto her back, then throwing her high into the sky... She then crouched, before jumping up high herself. The CPU was shocked to see Peach ascend above her, before the blonde slammed her with a two-fist strike, sending the redhead back down to the ground, bouncing once, Peach using the momentum of gravity for a brutal two-footed kick...

Only for Uzume to quickly roll out of the way, then hit Peach with a swift punch to the ribs, causing her to tumble a few feet away.

"Goodness, that was close!" gasped Nepgear.

"That was a nice recovery!" Neptune exclaimed.

"Peach is stronger, but Uzume is a bit faster," IF observed. "This fight could honestly go either way..."

"Go, big me!" Peashy called. "Don't let that meanie Usu-me beat you!"

But Uzume was now pressing her advantage, kicking Peach in the breast before she could right herself, then giving her a right hook to the face, snapping her head back. The goddess then feinted a follow-up kick, and sure enough, Peach recovered and tried to grab her opponent's leg, but got nothing but air as Uzume jumped back.

"You're... better than I thought," the soldier acknowledged as she rose back to her feet.

"Well, I *am* a former Planeptune CPU, of course I'm not going down that easy!" Uzume shot back.

"Good. That'll make all the more satisfying when I DO beat you!" With that, Peach went on the attack again, ducking under Uzume's counter punch, grabbing her under the elbow and putting her foot behind Uzume's heel, resulting in the goddess being tossed to the ground. Uzume, however, countered by spinning her body around, tripping Peach and sending her to the ground as well. She then spun around again, managing to kick Peach in the face before she could recover.

The two women got back to their feet, circling each other for a few moments, before lunging at each other, briefly grappling again... but then Peach kneed Uzume in the gut, then uppercut her in the face, before finishing up with a kick that sent her skidding across the ground.

"Yay! Go, big sis, go!" Peashy cried happily, waving her arms.

"Uh-oh..." Nepgear observed, "looks like Uzume's having trouble getting back up..."

"5! 6! 7!" IF counted, but then stopped as the CPU finally managed to stand again.

"You're obviously on the ropes," Peach observed. "Against all better judgement, I'm willing to offer you the chance to surrender and spare yourself any further pain..."

"...Nah, I'll take a rain check," the goddess declined. "I ain't done yet!"

"You seriously still think you can win in that state?" Peach put her hands on her hips.

"Oh yeah," Uzume grinned. "After all..." She then spoke the five words that every boss monster dreaded. _"My Drive Meter is full."_

Peach's eyes went wide with terror as 'Drive Away' began playing, Uzume letting loose with a battle cry as she started pummeling the older Peashy without end, then backing off for a moment before crying _"Feel the power of my dreams!"_ Charging all her energy into her fist, she seemed to punch _through_ Peach, causing a massive explosion!

"Noooooooo!" Five-year-old Peashy wailed in dismay, while Neptune and Nepgear visibly winced...

Uzume panted heavily, her hands on her knees, before slowly standing straight. "How do ya like me now, fool?"

"1!" IF began counting. "2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! ...she's up!"

 _"What?!"_ The redhead yelled in disbelief, turning around, and sure enough, Peach was standing there, panting, swaying slightly on her feet. "Oh, _come on!_ How could you get up after that beat down? That was such a _cool_ way to end it, too!"

"Not... on your life," the blonde grunted. "But if you wanna end it, then let's end it... with one final blow!" With that, she began to stagger forward...

"One last punch? 'K, I'm game..." Uzume agreed, as she slowly moved towards Peach as well... the two ladies managed to get up to running speed, both cocking their fists back-

-and punching each other in the cheek, the earth literally shaking from the impact. The two remained frozen in that position for a few seconds...

And then Uzume fell.

Nepgear gasped.

Neptune's eyes shrunk to white circles.

And Peashy let out a cheer.

"1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!" IF counted Uzume out. "I declare a KO! Peach is the winner!" The blonde promptly collapsed to her knees, her ample chest heaving with heavy breaths.

"YAAAAY! Big sis won! Big sis won!" Peashy squealed as she literally bounced across the grass, grabbing her other self in a big hug. "You won you won you won!"

 _"OW!_ Easy, easy...!" Peach cried out in pain. "I'm still sore, Peashy...!"

"Oh, sowwy..." The smaller Peashy promptly backed off, before getting an idea. "Hey, I know! I'll go all big so I can carry you to Compa's room so she can fix you up!" She then transformed to HDD, slowly picking up Peach in her arms. "Does that hurt, big sis?" asked Yellow Heart.

"I can handle it..." Peach grunted. "Just try not to bang my head on the doors, OK?"

"OK!" Yellow nodded as she carried her sister off. Meanwhile, Neptune and Nepgear picked up Uzume's unconscious body and slowly carried her away as well, while Compa quickly ran to her room to get the medical supplies ready...

 _*To be concluded...*_

Well, Peach had to work for that victory... let me know if you enjoyed the fight!


	26. Episode 26: Reconciliation

The aftermath of the fight...

Author Candidate-James Scott- I'm sorry if the fight didn't go like you wanted... but c'mon, why _wouldn't_ Uzume bust out her EXE Drive?

Yoshiki-909- Thanks for helping me figure out how to write this chapter...

ROCuevas- Glad you enjoyed the fight.

And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 26

by Derald Snyder

 _"OW!_ Compa, you're pulling the bandages too tight!" Peach cried in pain.

"Oh, s-sorry," the nurse apologized as she loosened the bandages. "I'm not used to bandaging somebody with a bust the size of Vert's..."

"Damn my ample bust again!" the soldier groaned. "I swear, there are times I wish I could swap chests with Lady Blanc...!"

"Aww, don't say that!" the younger Peashy moaned. "I like being all bouncy-bouncy, why don't you?"

"Because too many boys have tried to grab my bouncy-bouncies, that's why," Peach sighed.

"So just mash 'em flat!"

"I *do* mash them flat, but they just keep coming!"

"That's... another reason... I wear wrappings..." a gruff voice cut in.

"Oh, you're awake!" Compa exclaimed. "How are you feeling, Uzume?"

"Like I just got the crap beat outta me," the redhead snarked. "Probably 'cause that's exactly what happened..."

"So are you sowwy for bein' a meanie?" little Peashy demanded.

"Be nice, Peashy..." Compa admonished.

"It's alright, Compa..." Uzume groaned. "Yeah, kid, I'm sorry I screamed in your ear like that... I shouldn't have done that, even if I *was* upset... Believe me, Gearsy already let me have it before Big Peashy showed up..."

"Nepgear did?" Peach blinked in surprise. "I thought it woulda been Histy who told you off, instead of her..."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll give me an earful later..." the CPU sighed. "That was a pretty dope fight, though... even if I lost in the end..."

"Yeah, you really pushed me to my limit," the blonde nodded. "Especially when you used your EXE Drive... One or two more hits and I woulda been out for the count, myself..."

"That was a restrained version," Uzume pointed out. "If I'd used my megaphone, you _really_ would've been out for the count..."

"Meanie," muttered Peashy.

"Peashy, that's enough..." Compa scolded her again.

"Hey, little Peashy," Peach said to her 'sister', "Why don't you go get my bag? I got a little present for you in there..."

"Actually, your bag's at the foot of your bed," said Compa.

"OK!" the little CPU ran over to the bag in question, digging through it briefly... before pulling out a purple fruit. "YAY~! Eggplant! You're the _best,_ big sis!" Peashy promptly took a bite...

"No no, Peashy," Compa said as she gently pulled the eggplant away. "How about you wait until I can cut it up and cook it for you, okay?"

"Aww... OK," Peashy sighed.

"Just don't let Nepsy see you with it," Uzume spoke up. "Or else she'll probably have a heart attack..."

"Well, I got some pudding for her, so hopefully it'll all equal out..." Peach shrugged. "Anyway... You'd make a good sparring partner, Uzume. You're welcome to stop by Leanbox anytime if you wanna rematch..."

"Deal," the redhead smirked, holding out her fist, Peach managing to stretch just far enough to tap it with her own in a friendly fist-bump... "And next time I'll win for sure..."

"You're on," Peach smirked.

*Episode 26- End*

You know the drill... review!


	27. Episode 27: Mother Knows Best(?)

Here's another episode! Enjoy!

Authoria - The Heart- Episode 21 was just a parody/tribute chapter... and no, Peach does NOT have breast cancer from Uzume's kick. Sheesh...

Author Candidate-James Scott- Histy was most likely dealing with the paperwork that Neptune is too lazy to do...

RoCuevas/ Ark- Glad you enjoyed the episode.

And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 27

by Derald Snyder

 _"Peach Caroline Macintosh!_ What in the world were you thinking, picking a fight with a CPU?!"

The woman currently berating Peach bore a somewhat similar appearance in face and hairstyle, though her face was beginning to show wrinkles from age. Also, she was no-where near as muscular as the soldier, nor as tall or 'endowed'. Despite this, the younger blonde still flinched away from her in mild shame, still covered in bandages.

"Caroline?" Chika couldn't help but chuckle.

"Chika, not now," Vert chastised her Oracle.

"Honestly, I thought you would have grown out of this once you met Adrian and joined the military!" Lisa Macintosh continued to scold her daughter. "Haven't I always told you that CPUs are meant to be revered and respected? Haven't I?"

"But, Mom..." Peach weakly protested.

"Don't you 'but Mom' me!" Lisa cut her off. "I know Leanbox is our home now, but Planeptune was where you were born! How could you disrespect your old home like that?!"

"Because my little sister was disrespected!" Peach shouted back.

"What little sister?!" Lisa responded. "You're an only child!"

"Lisa, if I may," Vert stepped forward, "I believe Peach is referring to her counterpart from the Ultradimension..."

"Ultra what?" The older woman turned to Vert with a confused look on her face. "I don't understand what you mean, Lady Vert..."

Vert blinked, nonplussed. "Oh, did Peach never explain it to you?"

"With all due respect, Lady Vert, it was hard enough just wrapping my head around it," Peach sighed as she rubbed her temples. "So maybe you could explain it to her..."

"Well, if I must," the busty goddess sighed. "How about we go inside and have some tea, Ms. Macintosh? This might take a while..."

"As you wish, Lady Vert," Lisa bowed her head in deference.

 _*A while later...*_

"So, do you understand now?" Vert asked as she sipped at her tea, she and the other three women seated around a table in the Basilicom's kitchen.

"I think so..." Lisa sighed. "Basically, this 'little sister' my daughter's referring to is actually Peach herself from another universe... One who apparently never aged past five, because she somehow became a CPU herself..."

'That's the gist of it," Peach nodded. "Although, you'd probably have a heart attack if you saw her HDD..."

"In that case, I don't want to know," the elder blonde shook her head. "So, the reason you got in a fight with this... Uzume Tennouboshi character, was because she hurt that other Peach's ears with a megaphone?"

"That's right, Mom," the soldier confirmed. "You shoulda seen her, she was crying her eyes out, it hurt so bad. I mean, wouldn't you get mad if *I* got hurt like that for no reason?"

"...I suppose," Lisa conceded. "But usually, it was you dishing out the hurt, not the other way around..."

"Most likely, abandonment issues stemming from when your husband ran out on his family years ago," Vert theorized.

"I thought it was because of horny teenage boys," Chika cut in.

"...Maybe a little of both," Peach shrugged. "But getting back on topic... Mom, Uzume and I made up after the fight, and I told her she could come by to spar anytime."

Lisa raised an eyebrow.

"...A-and hopefully next time we won't end up all bandaged," Peach quickly appended, drawing a curt nod from her mother.

"I hope I'm not being too forward," Chika spoke up again, "but why was it that Peach's father ran out on you in the first place?"

"...Drugs," Lisa replied. "I mean, I dabbled with them too, back then, but HE was a total junkie."

"Yeah, Mom always told me, 'Don't you dare do drugs, lest you turn out like your deadbeat father,'" Peashy noted wryly, as she sipped at her tea. "It worked."

"Well, I'm grateful for that," Vert nodded.

"As am I," Lisa agreed, sipping her tea. "At least I did _something_ right as a mother..."

"Oh now now, you shouldn't sell yourself so short," Vert gently chided. "I think you've done a wonderful job raising Peach."

"You flatter me, Lady Vert..." Lisa smiled and shook her head. "But honestly, Adrian deserves some credit for teaching Peashy to rein in her temper. I know he's her boyfriend now, but back when they first started training together... I think he gave her some of the _paternal_ guidance that was sorely missing from her life."

Peach pondered that for a moment as she took a sip. "Huh... never thought of it that way. But I guess you have a point, Mom."

"Well, at least this Peashy *has* a mother..." Vert said. "From what I heard, the Peashy from the Ultradimension was a complete orphan. Neptune and Plutia ended up having to raise her themselves-"

 _"Pffffffft!"_ Lisa abruptly spat out her tea all over the table. "*Cough* ...did you say... _Plutia?!"_

The CPU's eyes went wide at this. "Oh dear... I guess I forgot to explain that part..."

"Open mouth, insert foot time, Lady Vert," Peach moaned in dismay. "But yeah, Mom, Plutia's alive in that alternate universe... and she's a CPU herself. Actually, I already introduced her to Adrian..."

"And you never thought to inform your mother about this?!" Lisa muttered in mild anger as she wiped her mouth clean with a napkin, Chika running to get a washcloth to clean the mess...

"I... I wasn't sure how to tell you," the younger blonde bowed her head in shame. "I mean, her death was the final straw that caused Dad to leave us in the first place... Not to mention us moving to Leanbox..."

Lisa's expression softened slightly. "Well... I suppose you have a point. It must have been quite a shock for you, though..."

"Oh yeah, it was," Peashy nodded in agreement. "An even bigger shock was her HDD form..."

"...again, do I even want to know?" Lisa sighed.

"Well, does the word _dominatrix_ mean anything to you?" Chika muttered as she finished wiping up the table.

"W...WHAT?!" The middle-aged woman screeched in shock. "Lady Vert, please tell me she's joking...!"

"...I honestly wish I could say she was," the goddess sighed. "But unfortunately, Chika speaks the truth..."

Lisa began to wobble back and forth in her seat. "O... okay... I... I think I'm going to pass out now. Good night." With that, her eyes rolled up in her head as she fainted dead away, sliding prone to the floor.

 _"Mother!"_ Peach cried as she jumped out of her seat, wincing from her bruises as she gently cradled her mother in her arms, before shooting a glare at Chika. "This. Is. Your. Fault."

"I-I'm so sorry!" the Oracle apologized. "I'll g-go get some smelling salts!" She quickly ran off.

Vert could only heave another sigh. "What a shame... we were having such a nice tea time, too..."

*Episode 27- End*

Poor Lisa, she got hit with too much at once... anyway, review!


	28. Episode 28: Pixie Devil

While you're waiting for the next chapter of 'Turnabout of the Mobile Tank', here's a new episode of Hyperdimension Peashy to tide you over! Just a heads-up, if you're confused about what Peach and Nepgear are discussing at the start of the chapter, go read 'Law & Order: Leanbox' for the details...

Anyway, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 28

by Derald Snyder

 _*Planeptune Basilicom*_

"So your old army comrade got killed by one of Lowee's bounty hunters due to a misunderstanding?" Nepgear summarized as she took a sip of her drink. "I'm really sorry to hear about that, Miss Peach..."

"How many times have told not to call me 'Miss'?" Peach sighed as she stared into her root beer. "After all, you're technically older than me by a long shot..."

"Ehehe... Sorry, force of habit," the CPU Candidate chuckled nervously. "So Vert gave you a few days off so you could come to terms with his death?"

"Something like that," the blonde nodded. "I figured a change of scenery might help me get my mind off what happened..."

 **"NEPTUNE!"** Histoire's voice echoed from another room. "This place is an absolute pigsty! It's a _disgrace_ to Basilicom standards! Clean it up, _NOW!"_

 _"Ahhhh!_ Don't get all Pissty, Histy!" Neptune's panicked voice rang out. "I'm on it like a hungry cat's on Warechu!"

"Good! And there had better not be even one crumb remaining! And I'll be looking under the rugs, too!"

Peach hummed to herself. "...I almost feel sorry for Neptuna. Almost."

"Histoire can be pretty scary when she's mad," Nepgear shrugged.

"...I understand she's the Oracle of Planeptune, and that she's been around practically since the nation's founding, but..." Peashy bit her lip. "Well, out of context, why should anybody be afraid of a cute little fairy sitting on a book?"

"You don't know Histoire very well then," Nepgear smirked. "Actually, let me tell you about an incident that occurred not too long after I was born..."

 _*An indeterminate (but very long) amount of time ago...*_

"Histoire, what am I supposed to do?" asked Nepgear. "I've just been born, I don't know anything, so how am I supposed to be a good goddess when my sister's not around to show me what to do?!"

"Unfortunately," Histoire sighed, "when Neptune's asleep, it can be quite hard to arouse her... I know from experience." Just then, there was a commotion from downstairs, and suddenly the door slammed open, revealing a gang of large, muscular thugs!

"Hey hey, whadda we have here?" one thug exclaimed as his gaze locked on Nepgear.

"Must be that new goddess they were talkin' about," another thug said.

"Heh, maybe we can have some fun with her," a third thug licked his lips.

"Ohnoohnoohno!" cried Nepgear in distress. "Histoire, what do we do? I don't even know how to fight yet!"

The fairy, in contrast to her companion, managed to retain her composure. "Excuse me, gentlemen! You _cannot_ just barge into the Basilicom like this! I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Or what, little fairy?" a thug taunted. "You gonna use your magic and turn us into frogs?" The whole gang burst into guffaws of laughter at this. Histoire's eyes just narrowed as she flew up to the lead thug, grabbing him by the collar...

 _*CRASH!*_ Said thug suddenly found himself flying through the window, falling a few stories to the (thankfully) soft sod below.

"What the hell?!" another thug gasped. "Did she just chuck Charlie out the window?!"

"I see no need to waste my magic on you," Histoire said as she cracked her knuckles. "Heee-YAH!" She then flew book-first into another thug's face, the impact of the hardcover sending him reeling out the door they'd come in, rolling down the stairs to impact at the bottom, unconscious.

"Wh- GET HER!" one of the thugs yelled, the rest of the brutes lunging at Histoire, only for her to easily weave around their hastily-thrown punches, grabbing one by his outstretched fist, flipping him over her head and out another window!

"N-no way!" Nepgear's eyes were as wide as dinner plates as she watched the little fairy easily dealing with men several times her size. And then another one went sailing out a window, broken glass spraying everywhere...

But then, one of the thugs got an idea and ran over to Nepgear, grabbing her by the hair. "Alright fairy, surrender or she gets hurt!"

"Oww, let goooo!" the CPU Candidate wailed as she tried to kick at her captor.

"Between the legs, Nepgear!" Histy shouted. The goddess obeyed, managing to nail the thug in groin, his eyes going wide as he released Nepgear and keel over. Then he went out the window as well.

"Sh-she's a pixie devil!" yelled another brute as he took his belt and tried to use it as a whip to to hit Histoire, only for the Oracle to catch the end, then swinging and hurling the thug out yet another window. Now only one remained...

Just then, another door opened, revealing Neptune herself. "*yawn*... What the nep's with all the noise out... here..." Her eyes shrunk to circles as she took in the sight... broken glass everywhere, and one thug shivering in fear, who promptly ran up to the CPU and bowed down to her.

"O great and merciful Goddess Purple Heart! Spare me from the wrath of the pixie devil! Don't let her get meeee!"

"Uh... OK, what happened?" Neptune asked in confusion.

"A group of brutes broke in," muttered Histoire with her arms crossed.

"Th-they said something about 'having fun' with me..." Nepgear supplemented. "I don't know what that means, b-but I don't think I would have liked it..."

"Is that so?" Neptune muttered as she looked down at the groveling thug, summoning her katana... _"NEPTUNE BREAK!"_ One special attack combo later, and the last thug was on his way to joining his comrades on the pile of bodies outside the Basilicom.

Histoire nodded in grim satisfaction. "Well, Neptune, I hope this teaches you a lesson about being more attentive to your goddess duties..."

"That was so cool, Neptune!" Nepgear gushed. "But I kinda think Histoire is cooler..."

"Wha-?! Histy cooler than ME?!" The CPU's look of shock suddenly transitioned to determination. "Oh no, _Ohhhh, no._ There is no way I'm letting _that_ slide!" Neptune swiftly grabbed her sister by the wrist as she marched out of the room. "Come on, Nepgear, I'm gonna go show you what a CPU's _really_ capable of! And then you'll know I'm the coolest of them all!"

"O-okay!" Nepgear nodded as she was pulled along. "B-bye, Histoire!" she waved just before being pulled out the door.

"Bye," the fairy muttered as she surveyed the damage. "Well, I suppose I'd better call for window replacement..."

 _*Back in the present...*_

"Ah-hahahahahaha!" Peach laughed as she rolled on the floor, her hands over her belly. "Oh, boy, that's a _good_ one, Nepgear! Hee hee hee ahahahahaha! Wh-what a whopper!"

"B-but it's true!" Nepgear squeaked in dismay. "I swear it is!" Peashy only laughed harder in response.

Just then, Histoire herself flew in. "What's going on in here?"

"Hee hee hee hee heeeeee..." Peach finally managed to get a hold of herself. "Ah, Nepgear was just getting me to cheer up by... t-telling a ridiculous story about you! Wahahahahahaaaa!" She started laughing again.

"What ridiculous story?" The fairy glared at Nepgear.

"I-I was just telling her about that time you took care of those brutes that broke in!" the goddess stammered. "But she doesn't believe me!"

"Hahaha... Well c'mon," Peach chortled, "Do you _honestly_ expect me to believe that Histy here can throw people several times her size! It's just absurd!"

Histoire blinked, before looking over at Nepgear, the two suddenly sharing an evil smirk...

 _*CRASH!*_

"AHHHH-HA-HA-HA-HOOIE!" the blonde screamed as she found herself flying down the side of the Basilicom, before face-planting in the sod, one twitchy leg sticking up comically.

"Are you laughing now?" Histy's voice called from the broken window.

"I stand... corrected..." Peashy groaned before passing out.

*Episode 28- End*

You don't mess with Histoire! XD Read and review!


	29. Episode 29: Hello, I'm A-Mac

While I try to work out the details for the sequel to 'Turnabout of the Mobile Tank', here's another episode of Hyperdimension Peashy, which will be the start of another small story arc. Enjoy!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 29

by Derald Snyder

"Well, it seems like your visit with Neptune did you some good," Vert observed as she and Peach walked leisurely through the streets of Leanbox City, the latter clad in her armor sans her helmet.

"A little bit," Peashy nodded. "I had a good laugh while I was over there, thanks to a funny story from Nepgear..."

"Well, that's nice... hmm?" Vert stopped as she observed something out of the corner of her eye...

"Huh? What's up, Lady Vert...?" Peach then saw it too- a young man climbing and jumping on the nearby architecture. "Who's that?"

"I have no idea," Vert replied. "He seems to be quite the acrobat, though..."

"I think the term is 'parkour', Lady Vert," Peach corrected. "Acrobats fly through the air, but what he's doing is quite different..."

"How so?" Vert turned to her bodyguard.

"Well, the basic principle of parkour is to get from Point A to Point B in the most efficient way possible," the blonde explained. "After all, the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, so the point is to go over, under, around, or between obstacles as fast as possible. And what better way to hone your skills than to use city architecture?"

"I see," Vert nodded. "Was this part of your training in the army, then?"

"Um, well..." Peach put a hand behind her head. "Well, not exactly... I mean, yeah, there's obstacle courses and stuff I had to do in the army, but I was kinda dabbling in parkour back when I was still a teenager... Oh, look, here he comes." Indeed, the man in question had just hopped off a low balcony, briefly running along the wall of the building before curling into a ball, rolling off a dumpster and coming up on his feet, letting his breath out in a rush.

"Bravo! Well done!" Vert called out, clapping her hands.

"Yeah, nice show!" Peach complimented.

"Huh...?" The young man looked up, showing an average face with a mustache and short goatee, with decently-combed short dark brown hair. His blue eyes went wide upon seeing the CPU herself standing a short distance away. "L-Lady Vert?!" He immediately went down on one knee, bowing his head. "I-I didn't know you were watching..."

"It's quite all right. Stand up, please," the goddess gently commanded, the man promptly standing, though his head remained bowed. "We just happened to be passing through when we saw you doing that... parkour thing."

"Is that right," the man muttered.

"Yeah, that was pretty cool stuff!" Peach said as she walked up. "What's your name?"

"My name...? Oh, right! Yeah, guess I should introduce myself..." He cleared his throat as he looked Peach in the eye, holding out his hand. "Hello, I'm A-Mac!"

"And I'm Peashy!" the blonde replied with a grin as she grabbed A-Mac's hand in a firm shake, being conscious not to crush his hand, though he still winced from the grip.

"Peashy...? Coulda sworn I heard that name somewhere before..." the young man muttered.

"Perhaps you went to the same school at some point?" Vert suggested.

"Doubt it," Peach shook her head. "Need I remind you I'm 29, Lady Vert? I graduated a while ago, and this kid looks like he's still in high school..."

"Just graduated, actually," A-Mac admitted. "Nowhere near the top of my class, unfortunately..."

"Hey, same here," Peach shrugged. "I only barely managed a C average, myself..."

"Really? So how'd you get to be Lady Vert's bodyguard?" the parkour practitioner inquired.

"She's former Leanbox Army," Vert explained, "where she taught other soldiers in close-quarters combat..."

"Leanbox Army?! Whoa, mad respect," A-Mac gave a brief, short bow. "I mean, I'm athletic, sure, but I'm also a grade-A coward. I hear gunfire, I'm runnin' for the hills..."

"Well, I can't use a gun to save my hide, so I think you're safe," Peashy snarked.

"So, is this 'parkour' a hobby of yours, then?" Vert asked.

"Well, kinda..." A-Mac rubbed the back of his head. "Actually, I was training for the upcoming Leanbox Ninja Warrior competition..."

"N-Ninja Warrior?!" Peach gasped. "There's a Ninja Warrior competition here in Leanbox?!"

"Oh, you didn't know?" A-Mac blinked in confusion. "It's been going on for a couple of years now... you seriously didn't know?"

"No I didn't know!" the blonde retorted. "I used to watch the original Ninja Warrior all the time when I was a kid living in Planeptune! I always wanted to enter one of those events..."

"Well, the preliminaries for Leanbox City are happening in about a month," said A-Mac. "Still plenty of time to get ready and enter..."

"Can I enter, Lady Vert?!" Peashy whipped around to face her goddess. _"Please...?!"_

Vert couldn't help but laugh lightly. "Oh, dear... there is no way I can say no to such pleading eyes... If you want it that bad, Peach, I won't try to stop you. That being said," she frowned, "If you're going to be training for the competition with this young man, I would highly suggest you explain things to Adrian beforehand. We certainly don't want a repeat of what happened _last_ time..."

"Who's Adrian?" asked A-Mac.

"My boyfriend," Peach clarified. "He's the one who got me into the army to begin with..."

"Oh, hey, no problem," A-Mac shrugged. "I mean, I've got a girlfriend myself, so there shouldn't be any problem... how about you bring yours and I'll bring mine, so there won't be any misunderstandings?"

"OK, deal," the soldier nodded in assent. "So, let's exchange cell phone numbers so we can contact each other..."

"Sure thing," the young man nodded. "Let's work hard, toward Total Victory!"

"You know it!" Peashy grinned.

 _*To be continued...*_


	30. Episode 30: Ninja Training

Woot! The big 3-0 is here!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 30

by Derald Snyder

 _*A few days later...*_

 _"You have arrived,"_ intoned Peach's MyPhone as she and Adrian pulled into the driveway, seeing a large, futuristic house with a wide backyard and a large pond.

"You sure this is the place?" Adrian asked as he slowly drove his Jeep up to the house.

"Yeah, this is the address he gave me," Peach said as she glanced down at her phone. "His parents must be _loaded..."_ As the Jeep came to a stop, a young woman exited, with wild medium-length blue hair and matching eyes, dressed in a black t-shirt and shorts, with a red scarf around her neck.

"Hello!" Peach called. "Is this where A-Mac lives?"

The woman seemed to stare at Peach for a moment, before snapping back to her senses. "Uh, yeah, sure, he lives here... but who are you?"

"I'm Peashy," the blonde introduced herself as she unbuckled and stepped out of the Jeep. "I was gonna be training with A-Mac for the upcoming Leanbox Ninja Warrior competition..."

"You don't say..." the bluenette trailed off, staring at Peach... it took the blonde a moment to realize that she was staring at her bust.

"I'm guessing you're his girlfriend?" Peashy ventured, as she deliberately crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, she is," a familiar voice called from inside. Soon enough, A-Mac emerged, dressed in a white T-shirt and exercise shorts. "Hey there, Peashy! Glad to see you could make it."

"Hey, A-Mac! This here is Adrian, the _boyfriend_ I was telling you about..." She stared at the bluenette as she stated this.

"Well, isn't HE lucky," A-Mac's girlfriend replied in disgust.

"Aw, Nicole, again?" A-Mac sighed. "How many times do I gotta tell you, I love you for your cute face and personality! I don't care about what bust size you have..."

"I know, I know..." Nicole sighed as A-Mac gently embraced her from behind.

"Honestly, if there was any way for me to shrink my breasts, within reason, I'd do it," Peach sighed. "I mean, my Mom isn't anywhere near as endowed, so I've got no idea where _these_ came from..."

"Unless your dad's a big strong guy," A-Mac ventured.

"He wasn't much bigger than you," Peach pointed out. "But, _anyway..._ how about you formally introduce us?"

"Right," the young man nodded. "*Ahem* This is my girlfriend, Nicole Sardini. Nicole, this is Peashy, Lady Vert's personal bodyguard."

"Otherwise known as former Staff Sergeant Peach C. Macintosh," Adrian supplemented.

"And this is Petty Officer First Class Adrian H. Johns," Peach gestured to her beloved.

"You outrank your boyfriend?" Nicole raised an eyebrow. "And he's okay with that?"

"Internal politics," Adrian explained. "Long story."

"What, you tick off a four-star or something?" A-Mac asked with a slightly sarcastic undertone.

"You're not far from the target, civilian," the soldier deadpanned. "So, how about you show us where you train for Ninja Warrior?"

"Sure thing," A-Mac agreed, turning away. "Right this way..."

 _*A few minutes later...*_

"This is the place," A-Mac announced. It was a section of the backyard that had several obstacles set up, including a quadruple-step and a few railings on a vertical slab of wood. There were also some monkey bars and a large cargo net hanging several feet high.

"Wow, looks like you're pretty serious about this," Adrian observed.

"Yeah, well, I didn't get my dad's brains, unlike my two sisters," A-Mac stated, "so I figure I can do my dad proud by focusing on physical competitions instead. I did pretty well in track and field in high school... never actually won a race, but I got quite a few second and third place finishes..."

"You did manage to win at kickboxing," Nicole pointed out.

"You're a kickboxing champion?" Peach's eyes lit up. "Maybe we should spar sometime..."

"Eh, no," A-Mac rebuffed her. "One, I don't like having to hurt anyone, and two, you look pretty ripped, so I probably wouldn't stand a chance..."

"Aww, I'd go easy on you..." Peach offered.

"No offense, Peach, but the last time you 'went easy' on somebody, he had a black eye, several bruises, and a cracked rib or two," Adrian spoke up.

"That doesn't count!" Peashy whirled on her boyfriend. "That guy was trying to feel me up, dammit!"

"Gee, big surprise there," Nicole deadpanned. "Seriously though, Peach, being such a big girl might work against you in Ninja Warrior..."

"How so?" the blonde asked.

"A lot of obstacles on the Ninja Warrior course depend on upper body strength," A-Mac explained. "And muscle is heavier than fat, so when you're trying to lift and pull your body through the air, you have to deal with all that extra weight... which can prove fatal in the later stages."

"Well, it's not like I can just shrink myself, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it," Peashy shrugged.

"Is that what that railing's for, then?" Adrian pointed to the obstacle in question. "To test your upper body strength?"

"Bingo," A-Mac nodded. "It's actually an obstacle that appears in Stage 3... Wanna give it a go?"

"Sure thing!" Peashy cracked her knuckles. "Let's do this!" Climbing onto the platform on the left, she placed her hands on the railing, making sure her grip was solid before hanging down. She then started to slowly pull herself along the railing... "OK, harder than it looks..."

"You're off to a good start," A-Mac encouraged.

"But can she pull herself up to the second railing?" his girlfriend asked.

"Guess we'll find out," Adrian muttered, watching Peach inching to the right... Soon, she made it to the end of the first railing, but when she tried to reach up for the next one, her other hand slipped, causing her to tumble to the ground below.

"Owww..." the blonde groaned as she slowly picked herself up. "Guess I didn't have as good a grip as I thought..."

"Hey, that's where I fell first time I tried this one," A-Mac shrugged.

"So, can you do the whole thing?" Adrian challenged.

"Haven't managed to yet... but I can try!" With that, the young man climbed onto the platform himself, taking a moment to brace himself before grabbing on, slowly pulling himself down the railing... He managed to grab the second railing, now going up and to the left... when he reached for the third railing above that one, however, his grip abruptly gave out... "Aaaahh-OOF!"

"Arthur!" Nicole cried as she ran up to her fallen boyfriend. "Are you all right?"

"Oh, so _that's_ his real name..." Adrian muttered.

"I'm fine, I'm fine..." A-Mac groaned as Nicole helped him back to his feet. "Dangit... I managed to grab the third railing last time..."

"I still think you should set up some pillows or cushions or something," the bluenette insisted. "It would be an absolute _injustice_ if you got injured only weeks before the competition..."

"Well, I'd hope they'd have cushions at the actual event," Adrian grunted.

"They have water," Peashy answered, "though cushions are used at some points, I think..."

"...So how about you, Mr. Adrian? You wanna give it a go?" A-Mac asked.

"You don't have to call me 'mister', Arthur, I'm only 34... that being said, sure, I'll give it a try," Adrian said as he climbed on the platform.

"So are you gonna enter, Nicole?" Peach asked. "You like you could do pretty well..."

"I tried it last year," Nicole shrugged. "Didn't get past the qualifier... I couldn't figure out that 'Warped Wall' for the life of me..."

"The Warped Wall? Really?" the blonde raised an eyebrow in confusion. "That's one of the simpler obstacles, in my view."

"Simple, but still tough," A-Mac said. "Gotta get a good run and jump..." He looked up at Adrian, who had just transitioned to the second railing. "Wow, not bad..." The soldier just grunted in response as he worked his way up to the third railing, managing to grab onto it without falling...

"Come on, Adrian! Go all the way!" Peach yelled encouragingly. Adrian seemed to move a little faster at hearing that, managing to grab onto the last railing, which was a bit of a decline, but then his grip finally gave out and he fell, though he managed to catch himself on his forearms.

"Darn it," the soldier grunted, "I wasn't prepared for that decline..."

"Yeah, but you got further than both of us," A-Mac observed. "Maybe you should enter, Adrian..."

"Eh, I dunno," Adrian grunted as he picked himself up. "Don't feel like humiliating myself on live television..."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Peach rolled her eyes. "The host never made fun of contestants who failed in the original Ninja Warrior... unless the person was _trying_ to be funny."

"Well, it's the same thing here," A-Mac nodded. "The hosts weren't laughing at Nicole when she failed last year... And neither was anyone in the live audience, at least from what I could tell..."

"Well, I at least managed to not fall in the water..." Nicole sighed. "Anyway, I'm just gonna cheer for A-Mac from the sidelines this time around."

"Fine by me," Peach shrugged. "One less competitor to worry about... Well, let's try the quadruple step next!"

"That one was tough too," Nicole sighed. "Trying to jump from one to the next without falling in the water..."

"You're supposed to run across them, aren't you?" Peashy pointed out.

"Some people don't have long enough legs for that," A-Mac countered.

"Well, then, they shouldn't be trying out to begin with... but then again, that's probably the reason they usually make it the first obstacle," the blonde stated as she got into position. Mentally judging the distance between each step, she took off, managing to get across the first three, before abruptly tripping on the last step, causing her to face-plant into the mat on the other end.

"Peashy! You OK?" Adrian gasped in concern.

"Mmmph... Yeah, I'm fine," Peach sighed as she picked herself up.

"Maybe *you* shouldn't be entering," Nicole mocked her.

"Oh, shut up," Peach said as she waved a fist at her. "That was just practice!"

"That's the idea," A-Mac nodded as he took his position. "Alright, Peashy, get outta the way so I can go, huh?" This the blonde did, moving to Adrian's side as she watched the young man run across the obstacle, only to go down on a knee when he leapt off the last step. "Aw, crud, didn't stick the landing... that'd put my foot in the water..." He mimed the sound of an airhorn blowing. "Epic fail."

"Don't worry, Arthur, you'll get it," Nicole encouraged.

"Oh, sure," Peach rolled her eyes, "You mock me, but go soft on him? Glad you're not the judge for the competition, you'd be way too unfair and unjust!"

The bluenette gasped deeply at this, her pupils shrinking to near pinpricks. "Did you just... call me... _unjust?!"_

A-Mac's eyes went wide at this. "Uh-oh, you shouldn't've said that..."

"You DARE... to call ME... the Hero of Justice... UNJUST?!" Nicole began quaking, before throwing her head back with an inhuman roar. "THAT'S IT, YOU BLONDE BIMBO! NOW YOU **DIE!"** She rushed at the blonde soldier, who took a defensive stance...

 _*Sixty seconds later...*_

"Owww... pain... so much... pain..." Nicole lay on the ground, at least two of her limbs looking rather out of joint.

"Did I mention I used to teach close-quarters-combat in the Leanbox Army?" Peach said as she dusted her hands off.

"Now THAT'S an epic fail," Adrian observed.

A-Mac could only shake his head in disbelief. "Well, Nisa, hopefully this teaches you to not have such a hair-trigger temper, huh?"

The fallen Hero of Justice could only let out a groan of pain in response...

 _*To be continued...*_

OK, so you're probably wondering why Nisa of all people is A-Mac's girlfriend... Well, A-Mac is supposed to represent the iMac computer, and NIS America (whom Nisa represents) has made several Disgaea games available on Steam, which are also compatible with Mac OS X! Admittedly, it's a bit of a stretch, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it. ;)


	31. Episode 31: Leanbox Ninja Warrior

Episode 31 is now live! Seems like everyone liked Nisa's cameo role... you'll be seeing her here and there throughout this arc, so enjoy!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 31

by Derald Snyder

 _*One month later...*_

The camera panned across a screaming and cheering audience, stationed at the side of a steel obstacle course.

"Hello, and welcome to _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_ declared a well-built man with a blonde buzz-cut and black eyes dressed in a navy blue suit and red tie. "I'm your host, Kratt Wiseman, along with Norman P. Chara!" he gestured to a black-shadowed NPC beside him.

"We're at the outskirts of Leanbox City on a beautiful, sunny day, where several athletes have come to compete for a one million credit prize! But first, they have to complete the qualifying course shown here! The top 30 athletes with the best time move on to the regional finals, and the top 15 of those will move on to take on a replica of the legendary Mt. Nepdoriyama course, divided into four stages, each harder than the last! But first, the qualifier! Take it away, Norman!"

"Right," the NPC nodded, "The first obstacle is the Quad Step, followed by the Log Grip, then a harrowing run across the Bridge of Blades. Then they have to make a short jump off a trampoline onto the Cargo Net, followed by the Double Tilting Ladder, a test of both balance and upper body strength."

"And then finally, the Warped Wall!" Kratt stated. "14 feet high and deceptively curved, the finish buzzer waiting at the top. Who has what it takes to finish the qualifying course? We're about to find out!"

 _*Down at the course...*_

Peashy simply could not wipe the giddy grin from her face as she took in the sights. If someone had told her two months ago that she would be running in a Ninja Warrior competition, she'd have punched the guy's teeth out. But now, it was really happening... she was really here!

"You need to calm down, Peach," a mature voice cut into her reverie. "You're bouncing up and down like your five-year-old self..."

Peach's excitement promptly deflated like a balloon. Turning to the source of the voice, she whispered, "I can't believe you came along, Lady Vert! Makes me feel like I have to do my day job while I'm here!"

"Oh come now, you worry too much," Vert reassured her. "I'm going _incognito,_ after all, I highly doubt anyone will recognize me..." The goddess had her long up in a simple ponytail, pulled through the back of a red baseball cap, along with a pair of sunglasses to hide her eyes. A green T-shirt and blue jeans(both borrowed from Peach's closet) completed the disguise. "Just tell them I'm Virginia, your distant cousin from out of town."

"Yeah, we look similar enough, don't we," Peach sighed, dressed in her white honeybee t-shirt and bell-bottom jeans. Her mood immediately improved however, when she sighted Adrian. "Adrian! Over here!"

"Hey Peashy!" the soldier responded, as he walked over with one of his fellow squad-mates. "Hey, you remember Sergei, right?"

"Gunny Sergei Sergeant Johnson? How could I forget?" Peach said with a grin.

"Oy! You got that all switched around again! You do that all the time!" The man in question spoke with a slight Russian accent, though his English was perfect. He had small gray eyes, a pointed nose and a square jaw, with only a slight fuzz of blonde hair crowning his head. "Why do you always do that?"

"To annoy you, of course," Peach taunted. "Are you here to enter too?"

"Of course I am! But boy, was I surprised to see that two of my comrades are also here! I am in for tough competition now, for sure!" He looked over at the disguised Vert. "But who is this? Your sister?"

"No, this is Virginia, my cousin from out of town," Peach introduced her.

"Hello there," Vert dropped her voice a few octaves as she awkwardly stuck out her hand, keeping her head bowed.

"You'll have to excuse her, she's a bit shy," Peach explained.

"Oy, no problem," Sergei nodded as she shook 'Virginia's' hand. "I assume you're here to cheer Peach on?"

"Of course," the disguised CPU nodded.

"Well, cheer for Adrian and me too, will you?" the gunnery sergeant winked.

"By the way, Adrian, you see A-Mac anywhere?" Peach queried.

"Not yet," her boyfriend shrugged. Looking around her though, he suddenly noticed something. "Hey, I think I just saw Nicole's scarf!"

"Huh?" Peashy turned and saw A-Mac and Nicole walking up. "Oh, hey, there you are! You made it!"

"Of course, like we were gonna miss this!" A-Mac grinned as she shook hands with Peach and Adrian. "And who's your friends?" Peach promptly introduced 'Virginia' and Sergei, the young man shaking hands with them as well, though he looked briefly confused when he looked Peach's fellow blonde over.

"Oy, I remember you!" Sergei pointed at Nicole. "You were on the course last year! Nisa, Hero of Justice, yes?"

"You remember me?!" Nisa gasped. "Wow, and I thought I was doomed to fade into obscurity after failing last season..."

"Nisa?!" Vert gasped in shock. "Well, this is a surprise..." Realizing she'd reverted to her normal voice, she coughed and lowered it again. "Didn't you use to have a good number of fans, back in the day?"

"Oh yeah, still got a following," Nicole nodded. "You should've heard them cheering for me last year..."

"Hey, A-Mac, your family's not coming?" Peach asked.

"Mom's supposed to be bringing my sisters," he explained. "I'm sure they'll be here soon enough... What about your mom?"

"Right here!" exclaimed Lisa Macintosh as she worked her way through the crowd. "Ugh, I'm not used to such loud, crowded places... Hello, Peashy."

"Hey Mom!" Peach grinned. "This is A-Mac, who I was telling you about..."

"Arthur," the man introduced himself with a handshake. Lisa hesitated for a moment before returning the shake. "Something wrong? Do I have somethin' on my face?"

"...eh? OH! No, no, that's not it..." Lisa shook her head. "You just... remind me of someone I knew a while back, that's all..."

"I doubt he's the same person, Mom," Peach deadpanned. "A-Mac's fresh out of high school, after all..."

"Of course," the older blonde nodded. "Just deja vu, that's all..."

"Oh, look," Vert pointed. "I think the first competitor's getting ready..." They all turned to watch the first challenger of the night- a male NPC who looked well toned.

"Let's see how he does, hey?" Sergei said with a small grin.

"And here we go, first competitor of the night!" exclaimed Kratt Wiseman.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

"And there he goes, using a two-footed hop across the Quad Step! And he clears it easily! And now we're on to the Log Grip!"

"He's gotta get a good firm grip," stated Norman, "or he's gonna fall when he hits that sharp decline in the middle!" They watched as the NPC slid down the line, keeping his grip to the end.

"He's got it!" Kratt exclaimed as the competitor dismounted. "And now, the Bridge of Blades! This one's tricky..."

Unfortunately, when the NPC took a step, the bridge promptly tumbled him onto the ground. There was the sound of an airhorn as the referee held up a red flag.

 **FAIL**

 _"Oh!"_ Kratt groaned in dismay.

"And the Bridge of Blades cuts down it's first victim!" declared Norman. "Textbook example of what NOT to do..."

"Well, that was dumb," A-Mac observed. "Ya can't walk it like a normal bridge, idiot..."

"Big brother!" two young voices cried out, A-Mac turning and seeing two familiar faces...

"Hey, you made it!" he cried out as he knelt down, his two sisters running into his arms. "Where's Mom?"

"Right behind us," the older of the two stated.

"Oh, are these your sisters?" asked the disguised Vert. "They look adorable!"

"Hey!" the older sister protested. "For your information, ma'am, I'm 14 years old! I'm not cute or adorable anymore, OK?"

"Be nice, iPad," an older voice interjected, as a woman with long dark blue hair walked up, dressed in a white blouse and blue skirt.

"I'm being nice!" iPad whined. "But I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Technically, you are," her younger sister deadpanned. "Humans don't reach full maturity until around 20 years of age, after all..."

"You looked that up, didn't you, iPhone?" iPad snorted, crossing her arms. "But that means Big Brother's still a kid too!"

"In one more year, I won't be," A-Mac pointed out.

"Well, now that everyone's here, how about you introduce us?" Adrian suggested.

"Well, you should know iPad and iPhone," Arthur stated, gesturing to the two girls, who had blue hair like their mother, but shared a few facial features with their brother. iPhone looked about 10, with large eyeglasses and seemingly covered in tech from head to waist. iPad, on the other hand, had smaller glasses and only a single large mobile device on her hip. "And this is my Mom," he gestured to the older woman.

"Laura," she introduced herself, shaking hands with everyone as they introduced themselves. She briefly hesitated, however, upon seeing Peach's mother...

"Lisa Macintosh," the elder blonde stated as she grabbed Laura's hand.

"Yes... nice to meet you," Laura slowly nodded, before wincing at the sound of an airhorn.

"Sounds like someone else failed," Peach observed.

"Oy, indeed!" Sergei confirmed, "He did not get a good enough jump off the trampoline onto the Cargo Net! What an idiot!"

"Well, _that_ one shouldn't be any trouble for you, right Peach?" Adrian ribbed, Peashy just rolling her eyes in response.

"Number 16!" the referee called.

"Oh crap, that's me!" Peach cried. "I'd better get up there!"

"Good luck, Peach!" Vert called after her as she ran to the starting platform.

"Show them how it's done!" Sergei encouraged.

"I will!" the blonde shouted back.

 _*To be continued...*_

Next up, Peashy's run! Will she succeed or fail? Stay tuned... ;)


	32. Episode 32: Qualifying Round Begins

And now, we see Peashy run the qualifier!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 32

by Derald Snyder

"And next up," declared Kratt Wiseman, "we have Peach Macintosh, who's been a fan of Ninja Warrior since she was a kid!"

 **COMPETITOR PROFILE**

"My name's Peach, though some call me Peashy. I was born in Planeptune, I used to watch the original Ninja Warrior all the time... Although it was mostly laughing at people who fell in the water... but I also liked seeing the occasional success."

"After Mom and I moved to Leanbox, I'd run around and jump over dumpsters and trashcans and stuff... PE was the only class I ever got straight A's in, go figure! Anyway, a few years after I graduated, I met my boyfriend Adrian, who helped me enlist in the Leanbox Army... Never could use a firearm, so I taught other soldiers in close-quarters-combat instead... And now, I'm working as Lady Vert's bodyguard! Don't ask about that one, long story..."

"I only heard about the Leanbox Ninja Warrior competition a month ago, and I'm all like, where do I sign up where do I sign up?!" *laughs* "But yeah, this is like a childhood dream come true!"

"I don't know if I'll win, but at I hope at least I give a good performance, so I don't totally embarrass myself and Lady Vert- fingers crossed!" *giggles*

 _*Back to the course*_

"Wow, Lady Vert's bodyguard!" exclaimed Norman, "She must've been really good to get _her_ attention..."

"Well, Lady Vert's not gonna give her any divine intervention here!" stated Kratt. "She's gotta do this on her own, with her boyfriend Adrian and her mother Lisa watching!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Peach quickly leapt from one step to the next, using a two-footed hop like the first competitor had.

"Wow, no problem on the Quad Step, let's see how she does on the Log Grip!"

"She's pretty ripped, so she's definitely got the strength to hang on," observed Norman, watching as Peashy rode the log down the wire, easily weathering the sudden drop, before dismounting at the other end.

"And now, the Bridge of Blades!" declared Kratt, Peach hesitating as she sized up the obstacle, before getting a running start... she managed to get across with sheer momentum, though the blonde ended up face-planting on the other side.

 _"Ouch!"_ Kratt winced.

"Think she lost some HP there," Norman winced. "But she's up, reassuring everyone she's OK."

"Well, let's hope she handles the Cargo Net better," the other host muttered, watching as Peashy knelt down beside the trampoline... before simply jumping all the way up to the top of the net herself! _"Whoa!_ Did you see that?! She didn't even use the trampoline!"

"This girl's not human!" Norman gasped in awe as Peach tumbled down the other side of the net. "I'm starting to see why Lady Vert chose her as her bodyguard!"

"Well, she'll have no trouble getting onto the Tilting Ladder!" said Wiseman. "The question is, can she stay on?"

"Yeah, she's pretty big," Norman stated, "And having a lot of weight can work against her on an obstacle like this..." Sure enough, Peashy easily jumped and got a grip on the ladder, before slowly swinging from one rung to the next...

"No problem so far," said Kratt, "she's handling the tilt pretty well, but now she has to make the transition to the second ladder..." Peach got into a good swing before reaching out and grasping the rung on the second Tilting Ladder. "She's got it!" There were a few cheers from the crowd. "This obstacle has taken out every competitor who's gotten to this point... she could be our first finisher today!"

"Going for the dismount..." Norman muttered as they looked on, Peach swinging a little on the last rung before letting go, most of her body hitting the mat, though her right leg dipped down!

(Crap! Did my foot touch the water?!) Peach freaked inwardly as she looked to her left, over at the referee-

-who gave her a thumbs-up. The crowd burst into cheers at this.

"Whoa, that was close!" gasped Norman.

"But she made it, first to finish that obstacle tonight!" Wiseman proclaimed excitedly. "And now, onto the Warped Wall!" The crowd watched as Peashy ran up the wall-

"Oh, she _missed!"_ Kratt cried in dismay, as the blonde slid back down to the bottom. Peach growled as she gritted her teeth, walking back to the start of the runway... "OK, she's reset... here she goes again!" Peashy grabbed the edge, but her grip failed and she slid down the wall again! _"Oh no!"_

"There's what I was telling you, about her weight working against her!" Norman sighed as he shook his head.

"This is her last chance," Wiseman said in dismay as Peach walked back to the start again. "If she doesn't make it this time, she's disqualified!"

Peach swept the hair from the face, as she took her position, looking forward, then up at the top of the Warped Wall, then down again, mentally judging the distance she had to jump... she tensed, and took off!

"Here it is! Can she make it...?! She's got a grip! Come on, Peach!" Kratt encouraged. "She's got a leg up... YES! She's done it! Hit that buzzer!" This the blonde did, a low horn sounding as twin plumes of steam shot into the air!

 **FINISH!**

 _"YEAAAAHHH!"_ Peashy cheered as she thrust both fists into the air in triumph, the crowd cheering along with her.

"Our first finisher of the day! What determination!" Wiseman exclaimed. "Our other co-host, Sharon, is with the bodyguard right now!"

"Congratulations!" said Sharon, a female NPC with long hair. "How do you feel right now?"

"Relieved!" Peach sighed as she wiped her brow. "That Warped Wall is so much bigger than it looks on TV! I'm never gonna take that thing lightly ever again!"

"But you did it! You're our first finisher today!" Sharon pointed out. "That's gotta be a great feeling!"

"Oh yeah, sure is!" the blonde nodded.

"Well, you go get some rest," stated the NPC, "you've earned it!" Peach nodded and walked off, Adrian putting his hand over her shoulder as they went back to the audience.

"Nice work!" Sergei nodded, "You showed that Warped Wall who's boss, hey?"

"You're not hurt, are you Peashy?" Lisa asked.

"I'm fine, Mom," Peach waved her off. "That face-plant hurt, sure, but I don't think anything's broken..."

"Well that's good to hear," A-Mac nodded. "Hey... what's that music that just started playing?"

"Isn't that... _'Kirihirake Gracie Star'_?" Nicole gasped in recognition, turning to look at the starting platform, the group following suit...

"No way!" Kratt gasped from the hosts' podium. "Is that who I think it is?!"

"It is!" cried Norman, "It's Leanbox's diva herself, the one, the only, **5pb.!"** The crowd completely lost it at seeing the idol standing at the start of the course. 5pb. waved at them with a big smile on her face, before handing her electric guitar off to her bodyguard Cave, then removing her headset.

"Looks like she wants to give this qualifying course a try!" exclaimed Wiseman. "Good luck, 5pb.!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

The blue-haired singer jumped onto the first diagonal platform of the Quad Step, clinging on for a moment, before leaping to the next. Though it was slow going, she managed to make it to the end of the obstacle without touching the water.

"And she's through!" stated Kratt. "Now on to the Log Grip..." 5pb. wrapped her arms and legs around the log as best she could, before shifting her weight to start it down the track. But when she hit the sudden drop in the middle...

"KYYYAAAAA-" *SPLASH!*

 **FAIL**

 _"No,_ she couldn't hold on!" Kratt shook his head in disappointment, as he watched the diva get pulled out of the water by Cave.

"That Log Grip can be tricky for women," Norman observed, "You gotta really know how to grab it if you wanna survive..."

A few more contestants attempted the course, with only one finishing, and then it was Sergei's turn.

"And next up, Gunnery Sergeant Sergei Johnson!" Kratt announced. "While most people beyond the fourth wall dismiss the four nations' standing armies as cannon fodder, this guy is one of the few who takes his service seriously!"

 **COMPETITOR PROFILE**

"My name is Sergei Johnson, I was named after my father, who came here from northern Lowee and married my mother. I kind of learned my accent from him growing up, and it got me teased by some kids at school, saying I wasn't really from Leanbox... so I thought to myself, 'Oh yeah? Well when I grow up, I'm joining the army!' I mean, you can't be more loyal to your country than that, right?"

"When I first got in the army, everyone seemed pretty laid back... but then a young man named Adrian joined my unit, and he really lit a fire under all of us! I compete with him all the time on obstacle courses, sometimes I win, sometimes he wins... But we make each other better soldiers, I think."

"I watched _Leanbox Ninja Warrior_ on TV last year, and I see all these people falling in the water and off the obstacles, and I'm like, 'Pfeh! Even I could do better than _that!'_ So I trained even harder on the army obstacle courses, and now I'm here to show these scrubs how it's done, and become the first Leanbox Ninja Warrior! Yeah!" *pumps fist*

 _*Back to the course*_

"Come on, Sergei! If Peach can do it, so can you!" Adrian encouraged.

"And there's Sergeant Johnson's squad-mate, Adrian!" Kratt stated. "He'll be running the course himself later on..."

"So Sergei, Peach and Adrian are all from the same unit?" Norman queried.

"Yeah, they are, I think they're all competing with each other! So let's see how Johnson does compared to Peach..."

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

The solider easily ran across the Quad Step, running up the short ramp to the Log Grip, grabbing hold and riding it down easily. Taking a moment to steady himself, he then ran across the Bridge of Blades, going into a combat roll at the end so as not to face-plant like Peashy did. That done, Sergei walked up to the trampoline, bouncing on it a few times...

"Testing the trampoline before he jumps, smart move," Norman the NPC nodded. "He's seen too many people fall on this one because they didn't get a good enough jump..." Sergei then stepped back on solid ground, getting a small running start before jumping off the trampoline, and successfully grabbing the net!

"He's got it!" exclaimed Kratt, as the soldier slowly worked himself down the net, carefully keeping his feet above the water until he slid onto the platform below. "And now, the Double Tilting Ladder!"

"He saw Peach clear this obstacle, he shouldn't have any trouble here," observed Norman. Sure enough, Sergei managed to climb across both ladders without much trouble, landing with both feet on the other side.

"Perfect dismount!" Kratt pumped his fist. "And now the Warped Wall!" The two hosts watched as Sergei sized up the obstacle, before getting a running start running up and jumping, grabbing ahold of the top and hauling himself up! "And he's done it!" Kratt exclaimed as Sergei hit the buzzer, before turning and saluting to the audience.

 **FINISH!**

"Way to go, Sergei!" Adrian cheered in applause.

"He said he was gonna show 'em how it's done, and he's definitely accomplished that today! Sharon is with our loyal army soldier right now!" stated Wiseman.

"Nice work, Sarge!" said the female NPC as Sergei climbed down to the ground. "Looks like you didn't have any trouble with that course!"

"Eh, well, that tilting ladder was the only part I was worried about," Sergei admitted. "But seeing how Peach did it earlier helped me figure it out!"

"Well, that's great! Good luck in the finals!" Sharon said, before letting the soldier rejoin his friends. "Back to you, Kratt and Norman!"

"Hey, what's with you making me look bad, huh?!" Peach growled as she put Sergei in a playful headlock. "Just be thankful I'm a good mood!"

"Oy, oy, easy! Don't hurt me before I run the finals!" Sergei protested, the blonde promptly releasing her grip.

"I think she was just messing with you, Sergeant," 'Virginia'/Vert ventured.

"Well, duh! Of course I was!" Peashy rolled her eyes.

"So who's next, Arthur or Adrian?" Lisa asked.

"I think I'm gonna be up before Adrian is," A-Mac replied. "But I think it's gonna be a while before my name's called..."

"Well then," suggested Nicole, "let's just relax and watch the other competitors for now, huh?"

"How long does this go on, anyway?" Lisa asked.

"Well, after all the competitors have run, the top 30 finishers participate in the finals course right away," Nicole explained. "You can see that there's more obstacles beyond the Warped Wall..."

"Oh Goddess, I don't think I can last that long," the older blonde moaned as she rubbed her temples.

"Well, maybe Mom can drive you back home to your house if you want," A-Mac offered.

"Or I could take you back to my home, if you wish," 'Virginia' whispered into Lisa's ear.

"Excuse me, do I know you...?" Lisa trailed off as Vert lowered her sunglasses just long enough to be recognized, before putting a finger to her lips. Lisa promptly nodded in silent acknowledgement.

"I thought she was your cousin from out of town?" Sergei grunted in confusion.

"Y-yes, of course she is! I just didn't recognize her at first, she doesn't usually dress like this," Lisa babbled to cover herself.

"Well, her usual wear wouldn't exactly work here," Peashy muttered, crossing her arms.

 _*Some time later...*_

The sun had started to set when A-Mac's number was finally called.

"Go get 'em, Big Brother!" cried iPhone.

"Keep your head and keep your balance!" iPad advised.

"We're rooting for you, Arthur!" added Laura.

"And next up," declared Kratt, "is Arthur Macintosh DeRommer, another newcomer to this course!"

"DEROMMER?!" cried Peach, Adrian, and Lisa.

"DeRommer? Wait, wasn't that your father's name?" Vert asked Peach.

"I knew it!" said Laura to Peach's mother. "You're _that_ Lisa, Steve's first wife!"

The older blonde's eyes went wide with shock. "... son of a bitch. _That's_ why he looked so familiar... he's the spitting image of Steve when he was younger!"

"W-wait a m-minute... a-are you saying..." Peashy babbled in shock. "A-Mac is... _my half-brother?!"_

 _*To be continued...*_

Dun dun dunnn! What will happen next? Stay tuned!


	33. Episode 33: Awkward Family Reunion

Seems a few people saw the plot twist coming... was it THAT obvious? Oh well...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 33

by Derald Snyder

A-Mac's second try at the Warped Wall was successful, pulling himself up and hitting the buzzer, a low horn sounding as the audience applauded his performance. He turned and waved to the crowds, listening to the hosts complimenting his performance, before looking at where his family and Peashy had gathered...

Only to realize they weren't paying attention to him at all. In fact, it looked like they were arguing over something...

"This is a nightmare. This is a damn nightmare!" Lisa growled as she rubbed her temples, the disguised Vert gently massaging her shoulders.

"But if Peashy and A-Mac are siblings..." iPhone gasped as an epiphany came to her, looking up at Peach. "Does that mean you're OUR big sister, too?!"

"If we all have the same father, then yeah, she is," iPad muttered. "Maybe that means we'll have breasts as big as her's when we grow up..."

"Um, no. No no no," Peach shook her head in disbelief. "I-I mean, you girls don't want 'em this big... th-they give you back problems, and teenage boys keep trying to grab them. T-trust me, you're better off."

"Listen, Lisa," Laura offered, "If it's any consolation, I hold no ill will towards you whatsoever. Steve says he blames himself for what happened between you two back then..."

"Well, isn't that nice of him," Lisa crossed her arms in disgust. "At there's one thing he and I can agree on..."

"Lisa, please," 'Virginia' whispered into her ear. "There's no need to cause a scene out in public..."

"I'm trying my hardest not to, Lady Vert," the elder blonde hissed back.

 _"Lady Vert?!"_ cried Laura, iPad, and iPhone.

"MOM, YOU IDIOT!" Peach yelled as the crowds slowly turned to focus on them, Lisa covering her mouth with her hands, her eyes going wide as she realized her slip-up.

"Oy, what?! Let me see!" Before Vert could react, Sergei had removed her cap and sunglasses, exposing her identity to the audience. "Ahh, it is you, Lady Vert! Why were you in disguise?"

"Oh no!" gasped iPad, "I mouthed off to Lady Vert...!" Throwing herself to the ground, she pleaded, "I'm sooo sorry, Lady Vert! _Pleeeease_ don't smite me!"

"Oh dear..." Vert sighed in distress as the crowds gathered around and started chanting her name...

 _*A few minutes later...*_

"Welcome back to _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_ Kratt Wiseman announced. "Hey, you remember how we mentioned that Peach Macintosh, our first finisher, was Lady Vert's bodyguard? Well, it turns out Lady Vert was actually attending the event herself!"

"Thing was, she was dressed in casual clothes, so nobody realized it was her at first," Norman P. Chara explained. "And after a little persuasion from the audience, she decided to give our qualifying course a go! Here's her run."

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Vert managed to jump to the first Quad Step, seemingly holding on for dear life, before jumping to the next. She repeated this process for the next two steps, before jumping to safety successfully, the crowd applauding her efforts. Walking up to the Log Grip, she looked it over before slowly wrapping herself around the log, keeping a firm grip as she began to slide down the wire... Though she managed to hang on through the drop, when she attempted to dismount, she lost her balance and tumbled backwards into the water!

 **FAIL**

"Lady Vert! Are you all right?" cried Peach, as she offered her hand, Vert accepting it as she swept her wet hair from her face, her ponytail having come undone in the splashdown.

"Well, I don't think I'll be doing that again..." The CPU sighed as she was pulled out of the water, a few denizens offering her towels. Accepting one, she dried off her face and hair as she and Peashy rejoined their group.

"Peashy..." A-Mac began, looking ucertain.

"Yes, A-Mac, it's true," Peach cut him off. "My father and your father... are one and the same person."

"No way..." the young man shook his head. "You're my _sister..._ and I had no idea..."

"It stands to reason, you don't really look much alike," Vert pointed out as she finished toweling off. "Of course, it also explains why you get along so well..."

"I'm kinda conflicted," sighed Nisa. "On the one hand, my sense of _justice_ screams at how Steve DeRommer wronged your mother, Peach... but then my _heart_ says that if he hadn't done that, my boyfriend would never have been born..."

"And I never would have met Peach, either," Adrian added.

"Lady Vert," Lisa spoke up, "about your earlier offer to stay at the Basilicom... I'm going to take you up on that... preferably as soon as possible."

"I'm sorry about this, Mom," Peach apologized. "I never thought something like this would happen..."

"I don't blame you, Peach," Lisa shook her head. "It's not your fault... for now, I'll just say, good luck with the rest of the competition."

"I bid you good luck as well," said Vert as she transformed to HDD. Lifting Lisa in her arms, she began to rise into the air... "Farewell for now, citizens of Leanbox! And I pray that no-one gets injured at this event!"

"We hope the same, Lady Vert!" Kratt called to her. "And thank you for gracing us with your presence today!" Green Heart nodded at this, before flying off with Peach's mother in tow, the audience cheering for their goddess as she left...

"Number 118!" the referee called.

"Oy, that's you, comrade!" Sergei said to Adrian. "If I can beat this course, so can you!"

"Sure," Adrian nodded. "Hang in there, OK Peach?"

"I'll be fine," Peashy reassured him. "Go get 'em!" The soldier nodded, before heading off to take his place at the starting line.

"Look," said Laura, "how about we all save this discussion for tomorrow, when we're all fresh? We should just focus on the competition for now..."

"OK, Mom," A-Mac nodded.

"Fine by me," Peach assented, before turning to watch Adrian's run.

 _*A short time later...*_

"Look at him go up that Warped Wall! No hesitation!" exclaimed Kratt, as Adrian hit the buzzer, signifying his completion of the qualifying course. "Adrian Harold Johns has our fastest time of the night! What a performance! Sharon is with him right now!"

"Nice work!" the NPC female said to Adrian. "You know you're our fastest finisher tonight?"

"Really?" the soldier gasped, "I was just trying to be efficient, so I don't waste my energy for the finals..."

"I can't believe you beat me!" cried Sergei as he walked up. "But we'll see who beats who in the finals, hey?"

"You're on," Adrian accepted.

"Sounds like quite the rivalry between you two," Sharon observed.

"Ah, it's all in good fun," Adrian chuckled.

"Well, we'll see you in the finals," the NPC nodded. "Back to you, Kratt and Norman!"

"And with that," said Norman, "we have our top 30 finishers from the qualifying course!"

"And now come the finals," said Wiseman, "Where we cut the remaining 30 in half for a chance to compete in the national finals on Mt. Nepdoriyama! Our qualifying finishers will have to face even more challenging obstacles or their quest for Total Victory! Next time, on _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_

 _*To be continued...*_

Don't forget to leave a review!


	34. Episode 34: Regional Finals

Time for the regional finals! Who will rise, who will fall in the water?

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 34

by Derald Snyder

The sun had set, but the crowd's excitement had not diminished one bit, as the top 30 finishers prepared themselves for the regional finals of Leanbox Ninja Warrior...

"In order to guarantee a spot in the national finals," Kratt Wiseman began, "our 30 competitors have to run the first six obstacles again, followed by four even more challenging obstacles which test your upper body strength!"

"First up," said Norman P. Chara, "is the Double Salmon Ladder, followed by Cannonball Alley," the camera showing three red balls suspended in midair, each successive ball smaller than the last. "After that is the Rope Clinger, ending with the Spider Climb, where the contestant use their hands and feet to work their way up 30 feet to the buzzer at the end."

"And if nobody gets to the end, we'll pick the 15 finalists based on who goes the farthest the fastest," Kratt explained. "The top 15 will head on to the National Finals, where they along with 75 other finalists from five other locations, along with 10 wildcards, will take on a replica of the infamous Mt. Nepdoriyama course, for a prize payout of one million credits!"

Peashy walked up to the starting platform, doing a few stretches to loosen up. "And here's our first finals challenger, Peach Macintosh, former combat instructor in the Leanbox Army, and currently working as Lady Vert's personal bodyguard!"

"She had a few stumbles her first time through this course," Norman pointed out. "Let's see if she's learned from her mistakes!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

And Peach was off, easily getting through the Quad Step and Log Grip as before... this time, when she ran across the Bridge of Blades, she managed to avoid face-planting, only going down to a knee instead.

"Yeah, you got this, Peashy!" Adrian encouraged from the sidelines.

"C'mon, Big Sis!" iPad yelled.

(Yeah, that's going to take some getting used to,) the blonde mused as she walked up to the Cargo Net... once again, she didn't bother with the trampoline, simply jumping to the top of the net herself, rolling over the top and down the other side. The Double Tilting Ladder proved no trouble, Peach managing to hit the mat with both feet this time.

"And now, the Warped Wall!" said Kratt. "She had a lot of trouble with this one last time..." But this time, Peashy managed to clear it on the first go, though she was a bit slow pulling herself up. "She's got it!"

"She's doing a good job so far," observed Norman, "but now she has to face four new obstacles, starting with the Double Salmon Ladder!" Peach slowly walked up to the obstacle, looking it over...

(So I gotta use my arms to get that bar up those rungs?) she mused. (Seems simple enough...) Getting a good grip, she hung down, before pulling her arms up to a 90-degree angle, then thrusting upward, managing to get the bar on the next set of rungs... then the next, then the next... Soon, she was at the halfway point, where she need to transfer to the other side... taking deep breaths, Peashy got herself into a good swing, before thrusting her arms forward-

-only for the bar to miss the bottom rungs on the other side, causing her to plunge into the water!

 **FAIL**

 _"Oh!"_ Kratt looked away in distress. "She couldn't make the transition! Oh, she is NOT happy with herself right now," he observed as he watched the blonde punch the water in frustration.

"Keep in mind though, not many women even make it that far, especially on their first time," Norman observed. "I'd say she's got a good chance of being a wildcard if she doesn't qualify tonight..."

 _"Dammit,_ I thought I had it!" Peach groaned as she dried her hair with a towel.

"Watch your language, Peashy, there's children present," Adrian cautioned.

"Oh, please!" iPad rolled her eyes, "we're not delicate snowflakes here! I should know, I tumbled down some hard stairs once, and barely got a bruise!"

"You still wailed like a baby, though," iPhone countered with a smirk.

"I did not!" iPad protested as she whirled on her sister.

"You did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!"

"CHILDREN! That is _enough!"_ Laura chastised them. "I swear, you two give me a headache sometimes...!"

"Must run in the family," Peach quipped. "I know I've had Mom rubbing her temples more than once..."

"I'm sure we all give our parents headaches at some point," Sergei pointed out. "I think if we _didn't_ do that, then something is not right..."

"I think I gave my mom ulcers instead," Adrian shrugged. "Anyway, Sergei, isn't it your turn soon?"

"Oy, yes! Thanks for reminding me, comrade!" the soldier nodded as he turned and jogged off.

"And next up, Gunnery Sergeant Sergei Johnson!" Kratt announced. "He had no trouble with the qualifier, but let's see how he does on the new obstacles!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Indeed, just like before, Sergei made it through the first six obstacles without issue, reaching the top of the Warped Wall even faster than before.

"Man, he is _flying_ through this course!" Kratt observed.

"Are we sure he's in the Army, and not the Air Force?" Norman quipped.

"Well, now's time for him to earn his wings, as he takes on the Double Salmon Ladder!" the other host said, watching as Sergei got a grip, before slowly working his way up the rungs...

"Let's see if can make the transition," said Norman. "This is where Peach failed, he doesn't want to make the same mistake here..." Thankfully, the soldier managed to transition to the other ladder, then work himself up the rest of the way.

"Looking good!" said Kratt, "And now on to Cannonball Alley!" Sergei grabbed the first and largest ball, swinging a bit before transitioning to the second... Swinging a bit harder, he tried to jump off the ball directly to the mat... but though his feet hit the mat, he was way off-balance, ending up in the water!

 **FAIL**

"Aw, what'd you do _that_ for?!" A-Mac groaned. "You didn't have nearly enough momentum to pull that off!"

"I have to second Arthur here," Adrian agreed.

"Agh, sorry! I thought that last ball was too small for my big hands!" Sergei grunted as he climbed out of the water. "Let's see you two do any better, hey?"

"You're on!" A-Mac nodded.

"Boys will be boys..." Laura sighed.

"At least they're not the perverted kind," Peach shrugged.

"Look but don't touch, that's what my father always told me," Sergei said.

"My Dad just showed me what happened to anime characters that tried that stuff," A-Mac said with a chuckle. "Really didn't feel like getting blown up with fireballs or zapped by lightning, so I kept my hands to myself..."

"Is that why you got together with Nicole?" iPad taunted. "Because she's got nothing TO grab?"

 _"iPAD!"_ Laura lightly smacked her on the head. "You apologize to Nisa this instant!"

"Oww!" the teenager rubbed her head. "OK, OK, I'm sorry!"

"...Apology accepted," Nisa nodded curtly, "but ONLY because you're Arthur's sister."

"Good, all settled," Peach cut in, stepping between the two. "Now let's just watch the other competitors, see if any of them figure out Cannonball Alley, OK?"

"Sounds good to me," Adrian nodded.

 _*A while later...*_

"My turn!" declared A-Mac. "Wish me luck!"

"Go for it, Big Brother!" encouraged iPad and iPhone.

"And now, Arthur Macintosh DeRommer!" Kratt Wiseman announced. "He's been training with his girlfriend Nisa, who ran the qualifier last year, but came up short on the Warped Wall. Nisa is cheering Arthur on from the sidelines, along with his mother and sisters!"

(All three of 'em,) Peashy quipped internally.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

And so, A-Mac began his finals run... While he almost tripped on the Bridge of Blades, he managed to complete the rest of the qualifying obstacles without incident... Grabbing onto the bar of the Double Salmon Ladder, he copied Sergei's grip, managing to make the transition at the halfway point and climb to the top without incident.

"Now onto Cannonball Alley!" stated Kratt. "This obstacle has taken all but two contenders... will he be the third to finish it?" He and Norman watched as A-Mac grabbed onto the first ball, swing ing a bit before making to the second... then he tried to swing to the third ball, but his grip failed and he plunged into the drink.

 **FAIL**

 _"Geez!"_ Peashy sighed, "Cannonball Alley is bowling everyone over!"

"Don't worry, I have a plan," Adrian asserted.

"Think you can bowl a strike on that obstacle?" iPhone joked.

"As long as I don't go in the gutter," Adrian shot back with a wink, eliciting a giggle from iPad.

"Well, good luck," Laura nodded.

"And now, our last challenger of the night, Petty Officer First Class Adrian Johns!" Wiseman announced. "He posted the fastest time on the qualifier, will he be able to go all the way in the finals course?"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Like before, Adrian had little trouble completing the first six obstacles, though he went a little slower than Sergei, trying to pace himself... the soldier continued his slow but steady pace as he worked his way up the Double Salmon Ladder...

"If he can grab that first ball, he's guaranteed himself a spot in the National Finals!" Norman observed. Sure enough, Adrian grabbed onto the first ball without trouble!

"Come on, Adrian, you can do it!" Peach shouted to her boyfriend. Adrian managed to swing to the second ball, taking a moment to steel himself...

"Wait, what's he doing?" Norman asked, nonplussed.

"Is he using his legs to grab the last ball?!" Kratt gasped incredulously. "Talk about thinking outside the box! He's hanging upside down now!"

Adrian felt the blood rushing to his head, as he swung back and forth, disengaging his legs as he flipped upright- and landed safely on the mat!

 _"He's done it!"_ Kratt yelled in excitement, prompting mad cheers from the audience.

"You got this, comrade!" said Sergei. "The rest should be child's play!" Adrian acknowledged him with a wave, taking a short rest before tackling the next obstacle...

"And now, the Rope Clinger!" said Norman. "His Army training should serve him well here..." he and Kratt watched as the soldier grabbed the first rope, swinging to the second, making sure to grip with his legs as well as his hands... he then swung to the third, then the fourth, before jumping off and landing on his knees on the other side! The cheering grew even louder- nobody had made it this far tonight!

"One last obstacle stands between our Army soldier and the buzzer- the 30-foot Spider Climb!" said Wiseman. "Does he have enough gas in the tank for this final climb to victory?!" Adrian stepped into the glass tunnel, taking a breath as he looked up to the top, gauging the distance he had to climb... he placed his hands on both sides, before thrusting up ward, locking his legs between the walls. "And here he goes! Climbing up steady, trying not to be too hasty!"

"One slip and he falls!" added Norman as Adrian continued his climb, the crowds cheering for him, Peach and Sergei nearly holding their breath... With the last of his strength, Adrian pulled himself successfully through the hole at the top, hitting the buzzer!

 **FINISH!**

"He did it! He did it!" Kratt thrust a fist into the air in celebration. "Adrian Johns, our only finisher on the finals course! He has completed the mission where both of his fellow soldiers failed!"

"ADRIAAAAAAAAAN!" Peashy and Sergei shouted up to their comrade, A-Mac joining in belatedly.

"LAAAAAAAAAAME!" Adrian shouted back down, before standing straight and saluting the crowds, who started chanting his name...

 _*A short time later...*_

"And you were worried about humiliating yourself!" Peach taunted her boyfriend. "You ended up making fools out of everyone else instead!"

"Too bad you didn't make it, Peashy," A-Mac lamented. In the end, Adrian, A-Mac, and Sergei had qualified, Peach herself just barely missing the cut.

"She could still get in as a wildcard," iPhone pointed out. "And given that she's Lady Vert's bodyguard, I'd say she has a good chance..."

"Well, you did a heck of a lot better than I did last year," Nicole said as she patted Peach on the shoulder. "I'd say you outperformed at least half of the first-years who try this competition..."

"Thanks, Nisa," Peach nodded, before yawning. "Well, I think that's enough excitement for one night... think you could drive me home, Adrian?"

"Of course, Peashy," her boyfriend nodded.

"Well then, we'll see you tomorrow," said Laura. "Perhaps we can meet at the Basilicom, so Lady Vert can step in if your mother makes a scene..."

"Probably a good idea," the blonde nodded. ('Cause knowing Mom, she's gonna consider not only you, but A-Mac and his sisters guilty by association...)

With that, the group broke up and departed, waving goodbye to each other...

 _*To be continued...*_

Next chapter, Peashy deals with the fallout from the revelations of her extended family... read and review!


	35. Episode 35: Family Reunion Part Deux

Next episode, GO!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 35

by Derald Snyder

 _*The next morning...*_

"Good morning!" Peach called cheerfully as she entered the Basilicom's kitchen, seeing her mother, Vert, and Chika sitting around a table eating their breakfast. The blonde immediately took notice of her mother's slow movements and bloodshot eyes. "What happened, Mom? Didn't sleep well last night?"

Lisa turned to look at her daughter, trying to reassure her with a smile. "Worse than that. I had a nightmare... though seeing you makes me realize what folly it was."

"It was folly to begin with," Vert put in her two cents.

"...What was the nightmare about?" Peashy asked hesitantly.

"Steve," Lisa began, "He was standing with that Laura woman and his new family... and then, you walked over and joined them, waving goodbye and leaving me all alone..."

"I wouldn't do that!" Peach gasped, scandalized. "Come on, Mom, you *know* me better than that! Just because I get along with A-Mac and his sisters doesn't mean I'm gonna abandon you...!"

"I know, I know..." Her mother nodded in agreement. "It's just, you're all I have left, dear Peashy..." Peach immediately drew her into a gentle hug in response.

"You know, I actually met Steve DeRommer before, now that I think about it," Vert spoke up. "It was at an award ceremony acknowledging his stellar work with both computer and 3D film technology. We only spoke briefly, but he seemed like a nice enough man..."

"Well, of course he'd be polite to _you,_ Lady Vert," Lisa pointed out. "Don't get me wrong, it's not like he ever abused us or anything... hell, little Peashy probably abused HIM more with tackling him to the ground..."

"I remember," Peach chuckled. "He always took it in stride, though, giving me a hug once he sat up..." She then sighed. "I think that's why it hurt so much when he abandoned us... especially after losing Plutia..."

"Well, if even if he _was_ a drug junkie, that was still quite reprehensible to run out on his wife like that," Chika stated. "Did ever try to contact you after that?"

Lisa hesitated before answering. "...Once or twice, but I would hang up on him and change the phone number."

"What?!" Peashy released her hug to look her mother in the eye. "You never told me that!"

"He had no right to barge back into our lives after what he pulled!" Lisa growled in anger. "Eventually, he got the hint and left us alone..." She crossed her arms and looked away. "And now, he's got a brand-new wife and children..."

"Well, given Arthur's disposition, it's clear to me that Steve DeRommer has learned from his mistakes, somewhat," Vert observed.

"Well, good for him," Lisa muttered.

"It's funny how I never bumped into Dad while I was training with A-Mac," Peashy mused, "though he said this wasn't unusual for him- he could be really busy sometimes, and end up sleeping at his office..."

"Sounds like he's become quite the workaholic," Chika observed. Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Hello?" Laura's voice echoed from the other side. Peashy promptly stood and walked over to the door opeining it, revealing Laura, iPad, and iPhone. "Hello, Peach," the mother acknowledged.

"Hello, Laura," the blonde nodded. "A-Mac didn't come?"

"He decided to go to Steve's workplace and tell him about what happened face-to-face," Laura explained. "May we come in?" The bodyguard promptly stepped aside, allowing the three women to enter the room. "Greetings, Lady Vert," Laura bowed her head in respect.

"Hello, Lady Vert," iPad and iPhone said in unison, bowing briefly.

"Hello," Vert nodded. "I suppose we should start with your side of the story, Miss Laura... Specifically, what did your husband tell you about his first marriage?"

Laura bit her lip briefly. "Well, when Steve and I were starting to get a bit more serious with our relationship, I got the sense he didn't really want to commit. I pressed him on it, and he eventually confessed that he had had a previous marriage, but screwed it all up due to drugs... not his exact words, mind you, but there *are* children present..." iPad just snorted slightly at this.

"Anyway, he said, that when a sudden tragedy struck his family, he was too messed up to deal with it, so he just got in his car and drove away... as far away as he could. In fact, by the time he was pulled over by a cop, he was already in Lastation. Long story short, he ended up in jail and also spending time in detox... By the time he was released and his head was clear, he finally realized what he'd done, and tried to find Lisa and get back in contact with her..."

"Only for Mom to hang up on him out of spite," Peach jumped in.

"Don't expect me to apologize," Lisa muttered, "He brought it on himself."

"Lisa, please," Vert sighed. "Anyway, continue, Laura."

"Well, anyway, Steve cleaned up his act and threw himself into his work... he was practically married to the job before he met me. So we negotiated a pre-nuptial agreement, and after we got married and I became pregnant, he decided to give our child the middle name of 'Macintosh', as a reminder of his previous failure and resolve to do better this time around."

"Thus his nickname, 'A-Mac,'" Peashy said. "I'm kinda glad I got to know him before I knew he was my half-brother, or I don't think things would have gone nearly as well..."

"Everything happens for a reason, as they say," Chika quoted. "It sounds to me like the only one still holding a grudge is Miss Lisa..."

"And what right do you have to judge me, Oracle?" Lisa shot back. "You've never been in a serious relationship with anyone from the opposite gender, to my knowledge! I won't mention the rumors for now..."

"I am not judging anybody!" Chika protested. "I simply made an observation! It's you who is jumping to conclusions here!"

"That's enough, you two!" Vert chastised. "I will not have this conversation descend into petty bickering!"

"Yeah, Mom, calm down," Peach insisted. "It sounds like Dad admits he's the one at fault here, can't you at least give him credit for that?"

"No," the elder blonde spat. "He can go bury himself in the Gamindustri Graveyard for all I care!"

"M-Mom...!" Peach could almost literally feel the raw anger radiating off her mother. (Geez, first I fail to qualify for the Ninja Warrior Finals, then I find out my training partner's my brother, and now Mom won't listen to reason! Could things get any worse?!)

And then, as if the ghost of the Deity of Sin had heard her thoughts, a certain familiar voice was heard from outside. "Helloooooo~... Peashy, are you here~?"

(Dammit, _NO!)_ Peach thought as her skin turned several shades paler. (Why did I even go there?! I should've known I was gonna jinx myself!) Sure enough, Plutia walked in through the door, holding a doll of Peashy's five-year-old counterpart in her hand.

"Uh-oh..." Chika whispered.

Meanwhile, Lisa's eyes had gone wide from seeing a certain girl that, from her perspective, had been long dead. "P... _Plutia?!_ It can't be..."

"Uh, Mom, don't you remember what Lady Vert told you right after I came back from fighting Uzume?" Peach tried to jog her memory.

"Huh...? OH! Oh yes, now I remember!" Lisa gasped as it came back to her. "This is that Plutia from the other dimension, right?"

"That's me~" Plutia nodded. "You must be Big Peashy's Mommy, right? Nice to meet you~" She gave a brief bow. "I know I'm not the Plutia your daughter was friends with, but I hope we can be friends, too..."

"Oh, she's a friend of yours, Peach?" Laura inquired as she and her daughters turned to face the new arrival. "She's adorable, in every sense of the word!"

"Aaaaand who might you be?" Plutia asked as she looked up at the blue-haired woman. "Are you Peashy's friend, too?"

"Actually, I'm... her father's second wife, Laura DeRommer," Laura admitted.

"And we're her half-sisters!" iPad and iPhone announced in unison.

"Second wife...?" Plutia closed her eyes in contemplation. "But isn't that what they call 'adultery?'"

 _(Warning! Warning!)_ Alarm bells started sounding in Peach's head. "Uh, Plutia, it's not quite like that... It's only adultery if Mom and Dad were still married, and I highly doubt they're gonna get back together..."

"Damn straight," Lisa growled. "I'll never forgive him for abandoning us after the other you died..."

"Other... her? I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't follow," Laura said confusedly.

"I believe what Miss Lisa and Peach are saying is that this Plutia comes from an alternate reality," iPhone explained. "In this reality, Plutia died, but in the other reality, she survived."

"That's correct. Very clever, iPhone," Vert complimented, causing the ten-year-old to blush from the praise.

"I understand now... I think," Laura said.

"But still, knowing that Peashy's daddy ran away and then got married to another woman..." Plutia muttered. "It just gets me so worked up..."

 _(DANGER! DANGER! SUBJECT APPROACHING CRITICAL MASS!)_ All sorts of alarms and klaxons were ringing in Peach's head now... "P-Ploot, please, c-calm down! Th-there's no need to go overboard here...!"

"I-I must agree!" Chika nodded vigorously.

"...What are you guys getting freaked out over all of a sudden?" iPad inquired.

Peach replied, "B-because, Plutia is worse than the Hulk when she gets angry! B-believe me, I've seen it happen before, and it's NOT pretty..."

"Oh, this little girl throws quite the temper tantrum, does she?" Laura chuckled.

"...Little girl?" Plutia growled, before being engulfed in a pillar of light!

 _ **"NOOOOOOOOO!"**_ Peach and Chika cried in horror, as the light faded, revealing Iris Heart.

"Wh-what the hell?!" Lisa and Laura cried out in shock.

"Little girl? Really?" Iris Heart smirked, now standing a inch or two taller then Laura. "Perhaps this is more suited to your tastes?"

"Y-you..." The blue-haired woman took a step back, staring at the power-symbols in Plutia's eyes. "Y-you're a C-CPU?!"

"CPU? What a vulgar term to refer to me," the dominatrix growled as she materialized a whip which she promptly snapped around Laura's neck, dragging her in close. "You will refer to me as 'Your Ladyship' or 'Madam Goddess', understand?"

"Meep!" was all Laura could get out, as her skin turned white with terror.

"I-I'm taking my leave now!" Chika cried as she stood and fled the room at (seemingly) supersonic speed.

"D-don't let her get me, Lady Vert!" iPhone cried as she dove underneath the goddess' chair. iPad, meanwhile, seemed frozen to the spot.

"Now then," Iris smirked, "Perhaps I should teach you a lesson or two about infidelity, _adultress..."_

"H-help me, Lady Vert! Save me!" Laura pleaded.

Vert could only shake her head in futility. "I'm sorry, Laura, but even I can't stop Plutia when she's like this!"

"Oh, it's fine, Lady Vert," Lisa chuckled. "I'm rather enjoying this, actually..."

"Plutia!" Peach said as she walked over to where she could look Iris Heart in the eye. "If you're going to punish her, can you _at least_ take it to another room, so you don't scar the children for life?!"

"Hmmmm..." Iris glanced over at the still-frozen iPad. "Well, I suppose you have a point, Peashy. Come along, Miss Laura..." She started dragging the unfortunate woman through another door...

"SOMEONE HELP MEEEEE!" Laura cried as she pulled into the next room, the door shutting and locking.

"Now then... time for your punishment~"

"KYYYAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAGGHH!"

"You call that a scream? Louder!"

 _"GAAAAAAAAHHHH!"_

Peashy could only shake her head at how badly things had gone, walking over to iPad and tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey, you gonna be alright?"

"...She made Mom scared. No one's ever scared Mom before," the teenager whispered, as if in a trance. "Plutia is so cool... I wanna be like her when I grow up..."

Peach could only bury her face in her hands in exasperation.

 _*To be continued...*_

Bet you weren't expecting Plutia to show up, were you? Read and review!


	36. Episode 36: Steve DeRommer

We finally get to meet Peach's father in the flesh...

CAuthoria-The Candidate- Dang, man I feel for ya... anyway, A-Mac will appear in this episode, but not like you're expecting...

xyzdreadnought- Nope, no little Peashy this time... maybe in a later episode.

Cooperjordan/smx underground- Yeah, poor Laura... she never had a chance.

ROCuevas- Lots of fun :D

Kanagamita9- Yay, I've got a new fan! Thank you for reading, and check out my other stories if you want!

And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 36

by Derald Snyder

 _*One hour later...*_

The group had adjourned to another room with the door shut in order to muffle Laura's screams and Iris Heart's laughter, and now were taking turns playing games on Leanbox's latest console.

"You cheated!" iPad accused.

"I did no such thing," iPhone rolled her eyes. "In order to cheat, I would have had to use cheat codes or take advantage of a glitch, neither of which I did, so there!" She stuck her tongue out.

"All right, that's enough, you two," Vert spoke up. "I think it might be time for Peach to have a turn..."

"Fine by me," iPad said as she flipped her controller onto the floor. Just then, the door opened, a badly bruised Laura DeRommer being hurled through and landing in front of the gathered girls.

"Mommy!" iPhone cried in distress. "What did that Plutia do to you?!"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SO VERY SORRY..." Laura muttered in a trance, her eyes shrunk to circles. "I COMMITTED ADULTERY... I BROKE PEASHY'S HEART... I'M SO VERY SORRY FOR MY INFIDELITY..."

"That's a good girl," Iris Heart smirked as she walked into the room. "Admitting your transgressions is the first step to amending your wicked ways, after all..."

 _"Ahhhhh!"_ iPhone tried to hide herself under a pillow. "Save me, Lady Vert! I don't wanna be punished!"

"Yeah, I think you've caused enough damage for one day, Ploot," Peach stated as she stood up, looking the dominatrix in the eye as she tried not to show any fear.

"I COMMITTED INFIDELITY... I COMMITTED ADULTERY... I'M SO SORRY... SO VERY SORRY..." Laura continued to chant robotically.

"Dear Goddess..." Lisa looked on the afflicted woman with shock and dismay. "Per... perhaps you were right after all, Peach..."

"Yeah, NOW you see why Chika and I were so freaked out," Peashy deadpanned.

"Yes, where is Chika, anyway?" Iris Heart inquired as she looked the group over.

"She's locked herself in her room," Vert replied, "And she probably won't come back out until you leave..."

"For good reason," Peashy added. "Given what you almost did to her last time..."

"Wow, Lady Plutia," iPad said as she looked over her mother, "I've never seen Mom act like this before... you're my idol."

"Are you _crazy,_ iPad?!" iPhone yelled from under the pillow. "What if she does the same thing to you?!"

"Oh no," Iris shook her head, "I only punish fully-grown adults... After all, unlike children, they should know better..." She bent down to make eye-contact with the blue-haired teenager. "What was your name, again?"

"M-my name is iPad, Lady Plutia," the girl blushed as the HDD CPU's bending over gave her a _very_ good view of her assets. "I-I hope I can be as sexy as you when I grow up..."

"Isn't that sweet," Iris Heart chuckled as she playfully ruffled iPad's hair. "Just remember to drink your milk, OK?"

"OK!" iPad nodded vigorously.

"It's official, my older sister has lost her mind," iPhone muttered.

"...Now then, back to business," Plutia stated as she straightened up. "It takes two people to commit adultery, after all, so there's one more person that needs punishing..."

"You mean Steve, obviously," Lisa stated.

"N-now wait just a minute, Plutia!" Peashy waved her hands. "C-can't we talk this over, like we did with Neptuna?"

"Yes, let's try and be reasonable, here," Vert agreed, standing up.

"Come now, Peashy... aren't you upset at your father for abandoning you all those years ago?" Iris pointed out.

"Of course I am!" Peach shot back. "But at the end of the day, he's still my Dad... 'blood is thicker than water,' you know?"

"Actually..." Lisa interjected as she walked up, "I might have an idea... on how to make Steve see the error of his ways, _without_ doing what you did to her," she indicated the still-babbling Laura. "Although, it'll require you going back to your normal form..."

The dominatrix CPU raised an eyebrow curiously. "I'm listening..."

 _*That night...*_

Steve DeRommer pondered the day's events as he brushed his teeth. (To think, Arthur's training partner was Peach all along...) The news had thrown him for a loop, to be sure... though he couldn't help but feel some pride for his estranged daughter upon realizing what she had accomplished... Rising to the rank of Staff Sergeant in the Leanbox Army, getting Lady Vert's attention and becoming her personal bodyguard as a result...

Unfortunately, the subsequent meeting with Laura and their daughters hadn't gone so well, according to the call he'd gotten from Lady Vert... not only was Lisa still holding a grudge after all this time, one of Peach's friends had unexpectedly dropped in, jumped to the wrong conclusion and gave Laura a savage beating, requiring her to spend time in the hospital, though her life was not in danger. Thankfully, the kids had been unharmed, and were staying the night with Vert at the Basilicom while their mother recovered. Arthur hadn't been too happy with the news, but he'd doubted it was one of Peach's fellow competitors from the Ninja Warrior competition.

(Doesn't mean it wasn't another of Peashy's Army comrades...) Steve mused as he made his way to the bed. He'd been looking forward to sharing the bed with his wife for the first time in a few weeks... Hopefully she'd get better soon. Heaving a sigh, he intoned, "Lights out," which they promptly did as he got into to bed, though sleep was a while coming...

"Mr. DeRommer..."

Steve lifted his head up, seeing something glowing at the end of his bed. "iPhone, is this another one of your pra-" Then he remembered, iPhone wasn't even home!

"Mr. DeRommer... you're a bad man..." the voice called out again. Retrieving his glasses, Steve sat up as he slipped them on-

-only to recoil at the sight he saw, a face he hadn't seen in almost two decades... "P... Pl... P-P-P-Plutia...?!"

Indeed it was Plutia, enveloped in a white, ethereal glow. Her expression was a cross between disappointed and upset as she glared at Steve... "You're a horrible daddy, Mr. DeRommer... you ran away from Peashy... right after I died... how could you..."

"Wh-wh-wh-" the man stammered in shock. "P-Plutia! I... I-I was messed up in the head! I didn't know what I was doing...!"

"That's a bad excuse," the ghost retorted. "Peashy needed you more than ever after I left her... and you failed her..."

"I-I tried to get back in touch with her...!" Steve argued frantically. "But Lisa-!"

"That's enough of your excuses~" Plutia cut him off. "I'm getting angry..." Suddenly, she was engulfed in a pillar of light, which faded to reveal a purple-haired dominatrix with red power-symbol eyes!

"WH-WHAT THE-?!"

"You've been a bad boy, Steve..." the transformed Plutia chuckled as she pulled out a whip. "So you need to be _spanked!"_ she cracked the whip as began to laugh evilly...

 **"AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!"** The middle aged man screamed as he jumped out of the bed in panic, running for his life! Down the stairs he went, running for the double doors to outside... but when he tried to shove his way out, they refused to budge!

"Unlock the doors!" he commanded, only for his face to pale as he heard the words _"Command not recognized."_ He then screamed as whip leather bit into his back, before said whip snapped around his leg, causing him to fall to the ground. Turning onto his back, he saw the dominatrix Plutia with a sadistic smile on her face.

"You can't escape, Mr. DeRommer..." the CPU taunted. "Now accept your punishment~" She began to pull him in closer.

The man screamed again in fear, before starting to babble, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I was wrong! I messed up! I shouldn't have run out on them! Please Plutia, I'm begging you, mercy! _Please!"_

A woman's laughter echoed through the house... but it wasn't Plutia's. At that moment, a door opened, Lisa stumbling out as she howled with laughter. "Ah-hahahahahahaha! I-I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it in any longer! Oh Steve, the look on your face...!" She doubled over again in laughter.

"L... _Lisa?!"_ Steve gasped in surprise.

"Smile, Dad," the double doors opened, Peach herself walking in, holding her MyPhone in one hand. "You're on candid camera!"

 _"P-Peashy?!"_ her father gasped he looked up at her. (Since when did she get a bust that big?!)

And then iPad and iPhone jumped into view as the lights came on. "APRIL FOOLS!" Then they started laughing as well.

And then it dawned on Steve that he'd been played. "Aw, _son of a...!"_ he groaned as his head fell back on the floor.

"Are you sure you don't want me to spank him?" Iris Heart inquired.

"I think you've gotten the point across, Ploot," Peach replied, as she grabbed the whip and snapped it in two, freeing her father before hauling him to his feet with one hand. "Just so we're clear, Dad, this was Mom's idea, not mine..."

Steve could only stare at his daughter, who now stood taller than himself, if only barely. "Geez, you got big... in more ways than one."

"I know, right?" Peach deadpanned. "Though I could've done without the D-cups... Mom, will you stop laughing already?!"

Iria Heart turned toward's Peach's still-guffawing mother, materializing another whip and striking her with it with a *WA-CRACK!* "Miss Lisa, that will be quite enough."

"Hee hee hee..." Lisa continued to chuckle as she rubbed her shoulder. "S-sorry, Plutia, I just... Hee hee hee hahahahaha-" *WA-CRACK!* "OW! OK, OK, I'll stop, I'll stop!"

"Better," Iris nodded curtly.

"By the way," Steve spoke up as something occurred to him, "Where's Arthur?"

"Mmmmmmph!" A muffled voice cried out, Steve turning and seeing his son gagged with a cloth rag and wrapped up in duct tape, slowly inching his way toward the group.

"Me and Lady Plutia tied him up!" iPad declared with a smile. "That was a lot of fun..."

"Yes, it was," Plutia agreed, looking upon the restrained boy with amusement.

"LADY Plutia?!" Steve asked in utter confusion.

"OK, look," Peashy sighed, "How about we untie A-Mac, then we'll go the kitchen so we can explain everything..."

 _*A few minutes later, in the kitchen...*_

"So, do you understand now, Dad?" Peach asked, having finished her summation.

"Yeah," Steve nodded. "This Plutia sitting here isn't *our* Plutia, but one from an alternate universe where she's a CPU. That about right?" He looked warily over at the now-detransformed Plutia, who still had a frown on her face.

"Something like that," Lisa agreed. "Though I'm still having a hard time equating cute little Plutia with her HDD form..."

"You're not alone, Mom..." Peashy sighed.

"She's so cool, though," iPad gushed, sitting next to her new idol. "She reduced Mom to a babbling mess..."

"And put her in the hospital," iPhone spat.

 _"What?!_ Wait, that was you?!" Steve said in surprise.

"That's right," the CPU nodded. "You committed adultery when you got married to her after running out on Peashy's Mommy... that wasn't very nice."

Peach's father sighed. "You do realize, that was years after I gave up on trying to get back in contact... As far as I was concerned, that relationship was over and done with. And I was kinda wary about trying again..."

The kitchen went silent for a few moments at this... looking over her father, Peach had trouble believing how much he'd aged... His once full head of hair was now almost completely bald, his mustache had greyed considerably, and his physique wasn't quite as muscular as she remembered... though his glasses were modern, not old-fashioned, they still made him look even older in her eyes.

"Y'know, I finally remembered where I heard your name before, Peach," A-Mac broke the silence. "Dad actually mentioned you in passing when he told me how he'd screwed up his last marriage with drugs, as a lesson to me not to make the same mistake... I think he was worried about me using steroids to get ahead, since I never seemed to be able to win a footrace..."

"Pretty much..." Steve nodded in agreement, before turning to look at his ex-wife. "Look, Lisa, I know you still hate my guts, and that no amount of 'I'm sorry' will ever make up for that... But can you at least acknowledge that I'm well aware of how I f- *ahem* I mucked up?"

The elder blonde gave him a hard stare. "...Well, at least you used your screw-up to teach your other children not to make the same mistake, so I'll give you that. And I have no problem agreeing that you were at fault. But don't expect me to come visit you again anytime soon..." She looked over at Peashy. "Of course, Peach is a full-grown adult now, so I can't speak for her..."

"Well, yeah, of course I'm gonna wanna spend some time with my new family," Peach stated. "Still wanna train with A-Mac in case I get a wildcard for Ninja Warrior, at least... But it's not like I'm gonna forget Mom or leave her behind, either. After all, I'm still sending her money from my paycheck to support her..."

"Yeah, about that... just how exactly did you get Lady Vert's attention anyway? I'd like to hear the story behind that..." Steve inquired.

"Oh, well... it's kinda-sorta related to the whole alternate-universe thing..." Peashy began. "But it really started when my boyfriend Adrian got unfairly arrested and court-martialed..."

"Or you could just read 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout' online..." Lisa muttered.

 _"Auuuuggghh!"_ Peach clutched her head. "You had to do it! You just HAD to go and break the fourth wall! My own mother, of all people! How could you do this to me?!"

And everyone broke into laughter, even Plutia...

*Episode 36- End*

All's well that's end well, sort of! Read and review!


	37. Episode 37: Ninja Warrior Finals Stage 1

Oh yeah! Hyperdimension Peashy is BACK, Baby! Hope you enjoy this one!

ROCuevas- Glad you enjoyed it, as always. :)

Kagamirror- Well, hopefully Steve can start to make up for his long absence now...

CAuthoria-The Candidate- Fourth wall break are Peach's poison... XD

And now, finally, at long last... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 37

by Derald Snyder

 _*Two weeks later...*_

There was a knock at Peach's apartment door. "Door's open!" Peashy called as she finished her bench-press and sat up. As she walked up to the front, wiping the perspiration off her neck with a towel, she saw a black-shadowed NPC standing there. "And who you might be?"

"I'm Norman P. Chara, co-host of _Leanbox Ninja Warrior,_ remember?" the NPC introduced himself.

"Huh?" Peach blinked in surprise. "But if you're here, that must mean-" she gasped as realization dawned. _"I'm in?!"_

"That's right, you're a wildcard!" Norman confirmed. "Congratulat- _uuurrrgggh!"_ He grunted as the blonde suddenly grabbed him in a tight hug.

"I'm in! I'm in! I'm going to the Ninja Warrior finals! _YIPPEEEEEEEEEE!"_ She squealed in joy as she spun around with the NPC in tow, in behavior more befitting of her younger counterpart.

"Huuuuuurrrrgggghhh!" Norman groaned in pain as he felt several of his ribs cracking...

...Needless to say, the producers had to find a replacement co-host.

 _*One month after that...*_

The camera panned over a screaming crowd, before cutting to the hosts podium. "Hello, and welcome to the national finals of _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_ declared the host. "I'm Kratt Wiseman, along with my co-host, Admiral Inprunnuncibl! That's his name, not his title!" The man in question was African-American, as well-built as Wiseman, wearing an Admiral Ackbar mask over his head, though his face was still visible.

"We're here at the Grand Finals, on a replica of the legendary Mt. Nepdoriyama course! 100 finalists have come from all over the nation of Leanbox to compete for a cash prize of 1,000,000 credits, by being the first Leanbox citizen ever to complete Gamindustri's toughest obstacle course!"

"That's right!" Admiral nodded, the eyes in his Ackbar mask googling a bit. "Divided into four extreme stages, each one tougher than the last! Though nobody so far has even managed to make it to Stage 4! Let's hope this's the year that changes!"

"Indeed," Kratt nodded in agreement. "But first, Stage 1! We start off with the Pinball Flipper Steps, followed by the Wheel of Fate! Then a new obstacle, the Curtain Slider! After that, the Jumping Spider, followed by the Sonic Curve! Then everyone's favorite, the Warped Wall! After that, the new Coin Flip, followed by a Triple Swing to the finish button!"

"Which of these 100 finalists will make it to the top? We're about to find out!" Admiral teased...

 _*Down at the course...*_

"We made it!" Peach cried excitedly. "We're really here, Adrian!"

"Yes, congrats on getting the wild card!" Sergei said with a grin. "Now you can make up for your embarrassing failure at the city finals, hey?"

"Oh, don't worry," Peach grinned. "I've been training hard with A-Mac! No way is a Salmon Ladder gonna dump me in the drink this time!"

"Speaking of which, where is A-Mac?" Adrian inquired.

"Right here!" A familiar voice spoke up. "And I brought the whole family!" The three turned to see A-Mac and Nisa standing side-by-side, along with, iPad, iPhone, Laura, and...

"DAD?!" Peashy gasped in shock. "What are you doing here?!"

"What, I can't watch my daughter compete on the Ninja Warrior course?" Steve DeRommer grinned as he walked up and gave his eldest daughter a big hug. "I know this won't make up for all the years I was gone, but better late than never, right?" Peach just hugged her father tightly in response, though she was careful not to squeeze too hard. "Ngh... that being said, I'm only staying for Stage 1, then I have to go back to my job. You understand, right?"

"...Fair enough," Peach shrugged as she separated from Steve.

"Oy, is something wrong, Miss Laura?" Sergei spoke up. "You look as if you have seen a ghost!"

"Um..." Laura looked around nervously. "Th-that P-Plutia girl isn't here, i-is she?"

"No, Laura," Peashy sighed. "Plutia went back home. You're safe." The elder woman heaved a sigh of relief in response, while iPad looked disappointed.

"She's been having nightmares ever since that day," iPhone explained. "The only way Mom can get to sleep is if Dad's in bed with her..."

"Yeah, 'cause of that, Dad's been spending a lot more time at home lately," A-Mac added. "Though that's not necessarily a _bad_ thing, from my perspective..."

"It's still an injustice what Plutia did to her, though," Nisa shook her head. "I'd've stopped her, if I'd been there..."

 _"HA!"_ Peach laughed. "Lemme tell you something, Nicole... When I fought Plutia in her HDD form, I only barely won, and _that_ was because she didn't really want to hurt me! And seeing how easily I kicked your butt a few months back, you think YOU stand any chance against her?!"

"Uh..." Nicole put a hand behind her head. "I g-guess I'd have to call for backup then..."

"Well, as loud as you are sometimes, you could at least provide an effective distraction for Mom to escape," iPhone theorized. "Though you would likely end up in the hospital and traumatized yourself..."

"All right, that's enough," Steve cut in. "Let's get back to the competition, here... Do any of you know what order you're going in?"

"Sergei's first, this time," Adrian explained. "Then me, then Peach, and finally Arthur."

"Yes, I think I'm one of the first five," Sergei muttered. "Hopefully I don't make a fool of myself, hey?"

"By the way, where's Lady Vert?" Laura looked about. "Plutia or not, I'd feel a lot safer if she were here..."

"Oh, she's here, all right," Peashy sighed as she looked up at the hosts' podium...

"And tonight, we have a very special guest host!" Kratt announced. "Ladies and gentlemen, it's none other then Leanbox's CPU herself, **Lady Vert!"**

The crowd lost it at that, breaking into wild cheers as Vert stepped up from behind the other two hosts, waving to the audience as they started chanting her name. "Yes, yes, thank you! Thank you all for that wonderful welcome!" She then donned a headset so the TV-watchers could hear her voice clearly.

"Holy crap, she's _hosting?!"_ A-Mac gasped in disbelief.

"Only for the first stage," Peach clarified. "She said she doesn't want to steal the spotlight from the other hosts... or the participants."

"Oh, look!" iPad pointed. "I think the first guy's getting ready!"

"And so it begins," said Adrian as the group turned to watch the NPC.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

The shadow-man started by walking up the Flipper Steps, going slow to ensure he didn't lose his balance and fall. Approaching the Wheel of Fate, he jumped off the trampoline-

-only to _miss_ grabbing the wheel, face-planting in the water!

 **FAIL**

 _"Oh!"_ Kratt recoiled at the sight.

"He's gonna feel _that_ one in the morning," Admiral observed grimly.

"Indeed, he should have tested the trampoline before jumping, at least," Vert added. "Of course, if it were me, I would probably end up doing the same thing..."

"Well, here comes the next guy!" Admiral pointed out another male NPC with a longer hairstyle. "Let's see if he does any better..."

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

The NPC got across the Flipper Steps with no trouble, before jumping off the trampoline and successfully grabbing the Wheel of Fate. Swinging a few times, he managed to dismount and land on the other side with no trouble.

"Nice!" Kratt nodded in approval. "Now let's see how he does on the Curtain Slider!"

"He's gotta make sure he lets go at just the right time to land on the small square platform, or else he goes in the water!" Admiral explained, as the shadow-man got a good grip on the curtains, before starting to slide down... unfortunately, as he picked up spped, the NPC panicked and let go far too soon, thumping his head on the platform as the rest of his body splashed down.

 **FAIL**

"Ouch!" Admiral winced. _"That_ one's gonna smart..."

"Well, Ninja Warrior's as much about the mental state as being physically prepared," Wiseman added. "If you don't keep your wits about you, you're gonna get wet, and see ya next year!"

"I know the feeling," Vert nodded. "If you remember, Kratt, I tried the regional course myself a few months back... but I was so focused on the crowd's cheering, I messed up the dismount on the Log Grip..."

"I remember," Kratt recalled with a chuckle. "You attended the event in disguise to try and cheer on your bodyguard, correct?"

"Yes, and while we're on that subject, let me state clearly that I had NO influence on the producers' decision to give Peach a wildcard," Vert stated firmly. "They made that decision completely on their own."

"Well, speaking of your bodyguard, looks like one of her former Army cohorts is up next! Gunnery Sergeant Sergei Johnson, age 36. He fell on Cannonball Alley in the regionals, but his time was good enough to qualify. Let's see how he tackles Stage 1..."

"C'mon, Sergei, you got this!" Adrian encouraged. "Just like the obstacle courses on base!"

"Yeah, show these scrubs how it's done!" Peach yelled to him.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Sergei started across the Flipper Steps, going quickly, but methodically, making it across with no trouble. He then tested the trampoline a little, before jumping off in earnest and grabbing the Wheel of Fate, easily swinging to the other side.

Next was the Curtain Slider, the soldier getting a good grip as he started to slide down... but when he reached the platform, he instinctively did a combat roll and tumbled into the water!

 **FAIL**

"Oh nooooo!" Nisa cried in disbelief.

"Sergei, you IDIOT! What were you thinking?!" Adrian yelled in dismay.

"I don't believe it...! I thought he would go out on the Coin Flip, or maybe the Sonic Curve..." Peashy shook her head.

"Sarge, what happened?!" said Sharon the female NPC co-host as Sergei pulled himself from the water. You were doing so good...!"

"Oy, I forgot how small the platform was, and combat rolled to my doom!" the sergeant bowed his head in shame. "I am sure Adrian is going to give me the drill sergeant nasty treatment for this..."

"You do realize, you outrank me..." Adrian pointed out as he walked up.

"Only because you got the commander-in-chief mad at you, we should be equals!" Sergei countered. "Go on, comrade, let me have it, I deserve it..."

"As you wish," Adrian shrugged, before getting in his fellow soldier's face. _"Oh, my Goddess!_ What was with that sorry performance?! You're a _disgrace_ to your unit, Gunny! If this were a combat zone, the enemy would have you full of lead while you floundered in the water...!"

"Uh, anyway, back to you, Kratt!" Sharon quickly stammered as she put some distance between her and the soldiers.

"Well, he *did* ask for it," Admiral shrugged, the eyes in his Ackbar mask googling slightly.

"...All right, I can't handle this anymore," Vert sighed, before abruptly grabbing Admiral's head! "You will remove that ridiculous-looking mask this instant!"

"Ack! No! Not my Ackbar mask!" the Negro cried to no avail, the mask coming off with a *pop!* revealing his completely bald head as Vert tossed the offending piece of gear behind the hosts' podium... "Aw, man... I didn't want anyone to see the hack job the barber did..."

"Trust me, you look better this way," Vert stated with no remorse.

"Can't argue with the goddess herself," Kratt shrugged with a smile. "Well, let's get back to the competition..."

 _*A short time later...*_

"And next up, Petty Officer Adrian Johns, age 35!" Wiseman announced. "You might say he's the one who recruited Lady Vert's bodyguard into the Army to begin with... He's also the only person who completed the regional finals in Leanbox City!"

"Well, let's hope he can avoid making the same mistake Sergei did!" Admiral said. "Especially after that chewing out he gave 'im!"

"Adrian, you better win!" Peach called, "Or I'm gonna chew you out worse than you did Sergei!"

"Now THAT'S incentive," A-Mac chuckled. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right Nicole?"

"Right," Nisa nodded with a neutral expression.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Like Sergei before him, Adrian cleared the first two obstacles easily... when he got to the Curtain Slider, he took a moment to gauge the distance to the platform before grabbing on... as he slid down, he released at just the right time to land on the platform without his forward momentum carrying him into the water.

"He did it!" Peach cried with joy.

"Go Adrian! Go Adrian!" iPad and iPhone cheered.

"And now, on to the Jumping Spider!" Kratt stated. "He's seen a similar obstacle in the regionals, he shouldn't have any trouble here!" Sure enough, the petty officer got a good jump off the trampoline, successfully wedging himself between the two clear plastic walls with his hands and feet. Then he slowly made his way to the other side, successfully dismounting!

"Next up, the Sonic Curve!" Admiral announced. The crowd watched as Adrian ran along the half-pipe, grabbing the rope and swing ing over to a set of pillars sticking out of the water... he missed at first, but managed to swing back and get himself onto the tallest pillar, then made his way across the other pillars down to the platform!

"No trouble with that one!" Kratt nodded in satisfaction. "And now, another familiar obstacle, the Warped Wall! Shouldn't have any trouble here, either..." Just as the host predicted, Adrian easily ran up the wall and grabbed the top, pulling himself up. "Nicely done!"

"Yeah, but now he has to deal with an all-new obstacle, the Coin Flip!" Admiral said. "If he doesn't step on those small round platforms just right, they'll flip 'im into the drink!"

"Well, Adrian has pretty good balance, so I'm not worried," Vert put in her two cents, watching as Adrian looked over the obstacle for a few moments... then he backed up a few steps, before taking off running getting across with sheer momentum, though stumbled and went down to his knees on the other side. The crowd cheered loudly at this- he'd been the first to make it this far tonight!

"And now the last obstacle, the Triple Swing!" declared Wiseman. Four rigid metal bars hung above the water, slightly lowering in altitude across the way, the last two close together. "All he has to do is swing across to the net and climb up to the finish button! Can he do it?"

"C'mon, Adrian, this shouldn't be any trouble for ya!" A-Mac encouraged.

The soldier took a moment to catch his breath, before grabbing ahold of the first bar and hanging down. Swinging a little, he managed to grab the next bar with one arm, then transfer his other arm over... He then swung off the second bar and grabbed the third with both hands, before transferring to the last bar easily. One final swing and he made it to the net, climbing up and dashing to the finish button, hitting it with time to spare!

 **FINISH!**

"And he's done it!" Kratt exclaimed, Peach and co. cheering loudly as Adrian straightened up and gave a salute to the crowds. "Adrian Harold Johns, our first finisher tonight! He continues to impress after his stellar performance in the city finals!"

"There's no doubt, he's one of the best," Vert nodded, smiling with pride.

"Yeah, Mission Accomplished!" Admiral added. "Looks like Sharon's with him right now!"

"Hey there, congrat- _whoa!"_ Sharon recoiled as Peashy ran up and grabbed Adrian off the ground in a big hug. "Well, _someone's_ happy you won..."

"Ya think?" Adrian grunted, before Peach set him back down. "Wasn't really that bad, just gotta keep your wits about you... it's the next stages I'm worried about..."

"Well, you can 'at ease' for now! Nice job!" the NPC said. "Back to you, Kratt!"

"Man, you made that look easy!" A-Mac spoke as Adrian and Peach rejoined the group. "I feel a little better about taking that thing on myself, now..."

"Just don't get cocky," Adrian advised. "Pride comes before the fall, as they say..."

"Yeah, and also," Steve cut in, "I'm sure you've heard this before, Arthur, but try not to be too upset if you do lose... After all, it's not like the fate of the world depends on whether you win or not... That's Lady Vert's job."

"Ha, ha. Funny, Dad," Arthur rolled his eyes as he turned to watch the next competitor...

 _*Some time later...*_

"My turn!" said Peashy.

"Go for it, Big Sis!" iPad cheered.

"We're behind you all the way!" Laura added.

"Make your father proud!" yelled Steve.

"And next, the one we've all been waiting for!" declared Wiseman. "Former Staff Sergeant Peach Macintosh, age 29, and Lady Vert's personal bodyguard! Adrian and her extended family are cheering her from the sidelines!"

"Wait, is that Steve DeRommer I see down there?!" Admiral gasped.

"...Yes, actually, Peach is his daughter from his previous marriage," Vert solemnly admitted. "The two of them just recently patched things up..."

"Wow, talk about a shocker!" The black man shook his bald head in disbelief.

"Well, let's focus on Peach's run for right now!" Kratt quickly cut in.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Peach seemed a little wobbly on the Flipper Steps, but got across without issue. Then at the Wheel of Fate, she simply ignored the trampoline and jumped right up to grab the wheel by herself!

"WHOA! Did she just jump up there all by herself?!" Admiral gaped.

"Not the first time she's done that," Kratt observed as Peach easily swung to the other side. And now the Curtain Slider!" Everyone watched as the blonde gripped the curtains and slid down, hitting the platform on all fours. "No problems!" Then she jogged up to the Jumping Spider, again forgoing the trampoline and jumping into the obstacle herself! _"Whoa,_ look at her go!"

"I see you, Peach!" Admiral cried excitedly. "She moves faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than a locomotive, jumping buildings in a single bound, she's _Super-Peach!"_

"I wouldn't go _quite_ that far," Vert noted in a slightly amused tone of voice, as Peach made it to the end of the obstacle and jumped down, before attacking the Sonic Curve, running up the half-pipe before grabbing the rope and swinging to the pillars, taking a moment to balance herself before making her way down to the platform. "She's certainly something, though..."

"But now, it's the Warped Wall!" said Kratt. "She had a bit of trouble with this one in the qualifier, and she's got less room to run here!" Sure enough, Peach's first attempt to scale the wall ended badly, with the blonde only able to briefly grip the top before tumbling down.

"Uh-oh, Super-Peach is startin' to look mortal now!" Admiral grunted worriedly. "Let's hope the Warped Wall ain't her Kryptonite!" Fortunately she managed to get up on top with the second attempt, jumping down before walking up to the Coin Flip. Taking a moment to study the obstacle, she backed up a little before dashing across the obstacle, though she tripped and face-planted on the other side.

 _"Ouch!"_ Kratt recoiled, Admiral and Vert wincing as well. "History repeats _again!_ She did the same thing on the Bridge of Blades during the qualifier... But it looks like she's okay."

"Yes, fortunately, she's quite resilient," Vert nodded solemnly, watching as Peashy checked her face, before proceeding to the Triple Swing. She grabbed the first bar, transferring to the second, then swinging and jumping to the last two bars, taking a moment to get enough momentum to swing to the net, quickly climbing up and running to the finish button, hitting it with a decisive smack!

 **FINISH!**

"She did it! As if there were any doubt whatsoever!" Kratt declared.

"You're not just saying that because I'm here, are you?" Vert smirked.

"Naw, we don't need to!" Admiral asserted. "Peach can speak for herself, Sharon's with her right now!"

"Congratulations!" The female NPC host said to Peach after she climbed down to the ground. "How are you feeling? You must feel great!"

"Oh, I do!" Peashy nodded with a big smile.

"You took a pretty bad tumble on the Coin Flip, though..."

"Ah, I didn't break my nose or anything," the muscular blonde waved her off. "The damage I suffered was barely in the double digits..."

"Okay..." Sharon nodded. "By the way, is Steve DeRommer really your father?!"

"Yeah, he is..." Peach shrugged as A-Mac walked up. "Which means my training partner here turned out to be my half-brother!" She promptly grabbed the younger man in a playful headlock.

"Hey, easy! I still gotta run yet!" A-Mac protested.

"So you're all getting along alright? No drama or anything?" Sharon inquired.

"Well, I wouldn't say NO drama..." Peashy mused as she let go of her brother, "but I think everything's mellowed out now- don't believe anything the tabloids say, OK?"

"OK! Congratulations again!" the NPC nodded. "Back to you, Kratt and Admiral!"

"Well, ya know those tabloids always exaggerate to sell more copies anyway!" Admiral pointed out.

"Indeed, you should see what they've said about the relationship between my Oracle and myself," Vert sighed. "Though I won't go into any detail, seeing this is a public broadcast and all..."

"Well, there's no exaggerating Peach's performance so far tonight!" Wiseman stated. "We'll see if she's got what it takes to go all the way!"

 _*Some time later...*_

Vert and the two hosts watched as A-Mac managed to successfully swing off the Triple Swing and onto the cargo net. "Uh-oh, he's got less than ten seconds!" Kratt said worriedly.

"Hurry up, A-Mac!" Admiral yelled as the youth pulled himself to the top, racing to the finish button...

"Is he gonna make it...?!" gasped Wiseman.

 **FINISH!**

"YES! He does it with less than a second to spare!"

"My, that was cutting it awfully close..." Vert mused.

"Nice work!" Sharon said to A-Mac as he climbed down. "It almost looked like you weren't gonna make it, though..."

"I was just tryin' to pace myself for the next stages," A-Mac explained. "But yeah, I had to hussle a little bit there at the end."

"I see... oh, and here's Steve DeRommer himself!" Sharon exclaimed as A-Mac's father walked up. "You must be proud of both your children tonight!"

"Oh, I am, believe me," Steve nodded. "It's like I've always said to Arthur- even if they didn't get my brains, they've got other talents worth exercising..."

"You think they could go all the way?"

"Ehhh, I don't want to make any predictions," Steve demurred, "though I'm pretty sure they could at least complete Stage 2!"

"Always gotta hedge your bets, huh Dad?" A-Mac snarked.

"Hope for the best, plan for the worst," the older man stated.

"Good advice!" Sharon chuckled. "Back to you, Kratt!"

As the NPC walked away, Nicole came up and said, "Well, you've already gotten a lot farther than I ever did, so that's something, right Arthur?"

"Right," A-Mac chuckled as he gently embraced his girlfriend around the waist. "So since we've all run, you gonna head out, Dad?"

"Yeah," Steve sighed as he checked his watch, "I've gotta get back to work." Walking over to the rest of his family, he squatted down before his two youngest children. "You two behave yourselves, okay? Don't give your mother any headaches..."

"We won't," iPhone promised.

"Is it OK that we stay up past our bedtimes to watch the rest of the event?" iPad asked.

Steve exchanged a quick glance with his wife, before replying, "We'll make an exception this once. But it's right to bed when you get home, got it? Oh, and make sure to comfort your mother if she starts having nightmares again, all right?"

"OK!" iPad and iPhone agreed in unison.

"Good girls." Steve then stood up, giving his wife a kiss on the cheek. "Love you, honey." He then walked over to Peach and did the same. "And you too, Peach."

"Yeah, thanks for coming," Peashy nodded. "I really do appreciate it, Dad... don't overwork yourself, OK?"

"I'll try not to," Steve smirked, before departing.

"Bye, Dad!" iPad and iPhone waved after him. Peach watched him go, before feeling a hand on her shoulder, turning to see Adrian smiling at her, Peach smiling and nodding back, bringing her hand up to touch his.

And so the competition went on...

 _*To be continued...*_

Made you wait for this one, didn't I? XD Read and Review!


	38. Episode 38: Ninja Warrior Finals Stage 2

And here's Stage 2! Who will survive?

CAuthoria-The Candidate- I had initially planned for Sergei to survive Stage 1, but I decided to for the 'shocking elimination' instead.

NexusPrime42- I've been thinking of something along this line myself...

ROCuevas- The excitement now continues! :D

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 38

by Derald Snyder

"Welcome back to _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_ Kratt Wiseman announced, "And we're just about to start Stage 2! Ten competitors have made it past Stage 1, how many will be left standing after this stage?"

"Unfortunately, that answer will have to wait, for me," stated Vert. "It's about time for me to return to the Basilicom. A goddess' work is never done, after all..."

"Well, we thank you for coming on today, Lady Vert!" Kratt acknowledged as he and Admiral shook hands with the CPU. "It's been a real honor..."

"And as we say goodbye to Lady Vert, we say hello to Stage 2!" said Admiral. "We start with the Ring Swing, followed by the Down-Up Salmon Ladder!"

"Then it's the Wave Runner, the Butterfly Wall, and the brutal Double Wedge, finishing with the Weighted Walls, 95, 115, and 135 pounds respectively to the finish buzzer!" Kratt finished. "Who among these ten challengers can make it to Stage 3? We're about to find out!"

"And here comes the first challenger!" Admiral said as a male NPC walked onto the start platform. "Let's see if he shows the other nine how to do it, or how NOT to do it!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Peach, Adrian, and the others watched as the shadow-man grabbed the first ring and swung across to the anchor hook, then transferred to the second ring, repeating the process for the third and final ring... Successfully transferring to the platform, he took a moment to rest, before grasping the bar on the Down-up Salmon Ladder. Hanging down, the NPC started working his way down the first ladder, before turning himself around and transferring the bar to the second ladder, then working his way back up, before transferring to a hanging steel bar.

"And now, the Wave Runner!" Kratt announced. The obstacle consisted of two flat boards hanging in the air, the first in a slight wave shape, the second starting off narrow but widening towards the end. The NPC competitor grabbed onto the first board with both hands, making sure not to tilt too far one way or the other, lest he get dumped in the drink... After steadying himself, he started shimmying forward to the other end... but when he tried to transfer to the next board, he missed his grab and fell into the water!

 **FAIL**

"He couldn't make the transition!" Kratt lamented.

"That second board's tricky, the one end's a lot narrower than it looks!" Admiral pointed out. "He failed to get a good grip, and he got all wet!"

Down near the start platform, Peach, Adrian and the others watched as the NPC pulled himself from the water, cursing his failure. "Good thing I didn't go first, I probably would've made the same mistake," the blonde observed.

"I probably would have too, had I gotten that far," Sergei agreed.

"Guess we can chalk that one up under 'what not to do,' huh?" iPad stated.

"Indeed," iPhone nodded. "Let's see how the next competitor performs," she indicated another NPC walking onto the start platform.

To their mild surprise, _this_ NPC made it all the way through the stage, hitting the buzzer with about two seconds left. "Well, guess now you know how to do this, huh Adrian?" Peach ribbed. "You're up next, right?"

"Yep," the petty officer nodded, as he started making his way over. "Wish me luck..."

"You can do it, comrade!" Sergei encouraged. "I believe in you!"

"And next up, Adrian Harold Johns!" Kratt announced. "He had no trouble on Stage 1, let's see if he can continue his streak!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Adrian swung through the Ring Swing without any trouble, then took a moment to regain his bearings before grabbing onto the bar on the Down-Up Salmon Ladder in a bidirectional grip. He made his way down to the bottom, managing to jump the bar to the other ladder, then make his way back up.

"Lookin' good, Adrian!" Admiral nodded. "Let's see if he can handle the Wave Runner!" He and Wiseman watched as the soldier grabbed the first board, shimmying to the other end... And then, successfully transferring to the narrow end of the second board!

"Whoo-hoo! You've got this, Adrian!" Peach called as her boyfriend made it to the end of the Wave Runner and dismounted, eliciting cheers from the crowd.

"Go, comrade, go!" Sergei added.

"And now, the Butterfly Wall!" declared Kratt. It was a large, hard plastic butterfly shape that slowly spun around on a vertical pole... Everyone watched as Adrian jumped and managed to grab ahold of the top of one 'wing', riding it around to the other side, before jumping off and grabbing a hanging rope, pulling himself up!

"Now it's time for the most difficult obstacle on this stage, the Double Wedge!" Wiseman stated. The obstacle was basically a loose bar with round padded ends wedged between two sloping glass panes, twice over. Adrian took a moment to examine the set-up, before grasping the first bar and hanging down, then starting to work his way forward...

"He's gotta keep that bar balanced between those two panes," Admiral explained, "Otherwise, the bar'll slip out and down he goes!"

"He's made it to the end of the first wedge!" Kratt pointed out. "Now he's gotta transfer to the second bar..." This Adrian did, making his way halfway across the second wedge, before starting to swing back and forth. "He's going for the dismount... he's got it!"

"I see you Adrian! Mr. Super-Solider! Look at him overturn those Weighted Walls!" Admiral cried happily as Adrian flipped over all three walls in order, then climbed onto the finish platform and hit the buzzer!

 **FINISH!**

"Mission complete!" Kratt cheered, the crowds cheering and applauding as Adrian saluted to them. "Sharon is with our petty officer now!"

"Nice work, petty officer!" the female NPC said to Adrian. "You made that look easy!"

"Not so easy," Adrian shook his head. "That Double Wedge was brutal... you don't have much stamina left, and you really gotta keep focused so you don't lose your balance... If I hadn't watched that NPC do it, I probably wouldn't've made it..."

"But you did make it, so good job! At ease, soldier!" Sharon said. "Back to you, Kratt and Admiral!"

"Well, I hope Super-Peach was watchin' her boyfriend's run real close, 'cause she's up next!" said Admiral.

"Right, Peach Macintosh is on the starting platform right now! Let's see if she can follow Adrian's lead!" stated Kratt.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Peach missed the anchor point the first time, forcing to swing back and forth again to get on there and grab the next ring. She had no trouble with the subsequent rings, however.

"And now, the Down-Up Salmon Ladder!" Wiseman announced. "She ended up falling on the Double Salmon Ladder in the regionals, which is why she got in with a wildcard..."

"Well, she says she's been training to make sure it don't trip her up this time!" said Admiral, watching as Peach worked her way down the first ladder. "So far, so good, but she's gotta make the transition to the other ladder! This is where she fell before, she doesn't wanna make the same mistake again!"

"Come on, Peach!" A-Mac called, everyone holding their collective breath...

 _"She did it!"_ Kratt cried as Peach made the transition to the second ladder, Peach's family and friends cheering as she worked her way up the second ladder before transferring to the hanging bar between the obstacles... "Now, let's see how she handles the Wave Runner!"

"Look at her go!" said Admiral excitedly as the blonde grabbed the first board and worked her way forward. "Look at that determination on her face!" Another brief moment of silence as Peashy reached the end of the first board... then grabbed onto the second board without falling! "Yeah, I see you! Super-Peach is back, baby!"

"You got this!" Adrian yelled, clapping his hands. "Keep your focus!"

Peach shook her hands a bit after dismounting, before facing the next obstacle, the Butterfly Wing... She easily jumped onto a wing, riding it around to the other side, then jumping off and grabbing the rope on the other side.

"Nicely done!" Kratt applauded. "But now, it's the Double Wedge! Can she get through this one?" They watched as Peashy grabbed the first bar and started working her way forward... the bar went on a slightly awkward angle at one point, but she managed to correct course and make it to the other bar.

But when she started moving forward on the second bar, it went on an even more awkward angle! "Uh-oh, Super-Peach's in trouble!" Admrial said worriedly.

"She's gotta correct!" cried Wiseman. "Wait, it looks like she's going for the dismount now!"

"Hurry up, Peach, before the bar dislodges!" Admiral gasped. Peach swung, and let go _just_ as the bar dislodged completely and fell into the water...

And landed on the platform! The crowd went wild at this, as did the hosts! Despite her fatigue, the blonde bodyguard easily toppled all three Weighted Walls, before jumping up onto the last platform and hitting the buzzer!

 **FINISH!**

"YEAAAAHH!" Peach cried in triumph, thrusting her fists into the air, the crowd cheering and applauding.

"Super-Peach saves the day again!" Admiral cheered. "Let's go down to Sharon!"

"Hey, congratulations!" said Sharon. "Looked like you had some trouble with that Double Wedge!"

"Yeah, well, even if it hadn't gone awkward, I don't think I would've been able to hold on much longer anyway," Peashy gasped. "I honestly thought I was gonna, like, have my feet hit the end and the rest of me fall in the water...!"

"Well, you don't look wet to me!" the NPC looked Peach over... "Well, except for some sweat, of course. Anyway, good luck on Stage 3!"

"Thanks!" Peach nodded, as she walked over to rejoin her family.

"Man, you had me on the edge of my seat there!" A-Mac breathed out with one hand over his chest. "But hey, you finally conquered the Salmon Ladder! High Five!"

Peach grinned as she did just that, the force making her brother recoil slightly. "Think you can do like I just did?"

"Oh yeah, just you wait and see!" the young man nodded.

 _*Some time later...*_

Kratt and Admiral watched as A-Mac made his way down the Double Wedge. "Going for the dismount... he's got it!" Wiseman exclaimed.

"But he doesn't have much time left! Hurry, A-Mac!" Admiral said as the young man ran to the Weighted Walls, pushing over the first one, struggling with the second...

 **TIME OVER**

 _"No,_ he timed out!" Kratt shook his head in disappointment.

"He said on Stage 1 that he was tryin' to pace himself, but it backfired on him here!" Admiral added, watching as Arthur walked off the stage, shaking his head, Nisa running up to comfort him. "Talk about getting black-flagged on the last lap... Ya gotta hustle on this stage, since there's less time to work with than on Stage 1..."

"What happened, big brother?" iPad asked. "You were doing so good, too...!"

"Yeah, guess I lost track of the timer," A-Mac sighed in despair. "Epic fail."

"Not really," Sergei disagreed. "That one man before, who missed even grabbing that Double Wedge, THAT was epic fail!"

"I'm sure you'll do better next year, Arthur," Laura reassured him. "You should be proud for even making it this far... you're still in the top ten this year, in a sense..."

"Yeah, I guess," Arthur sighed. "Still reminds me of all the second and third-place awards I got in high school..."

"Hey, I got third place in a school race once, and I was ecstatic," Peach opined. "That medal is still hanging in my old room at Mom's house... felt like the first time I'd ever accomplished something."

"I suppose it all depends on your perspective," iPhone postulated.

"...Yeah, I guess you're right," said A-Mac, finally giving a half-hearted smile. "Guess it's up to you and Adrian now... give it all you've got in Stage 3, OK sis?"

"Oh, don't you worry," Peach nodded with a grin. "Stage 3 won't know what hit it!"

 _*To be continued...*_

And now for an omake! Apologies in advance to Authoria- The Candidate James Scott. No hard feelings, right? :P

 _*In an undisclosed location...*_

"Well, that was a nice chapter," said Asuka. "Too bad A-Mac timed out, though."

"I would've shot him in the butt to get him moving," said Gia as she cleaned her rifle.

"That would've made him fall in the water, you know," Kitty pointed out.

"Only question is, will Adrian or Peashy make it past Stage 3?" asked Bradley. "My money's on Adrian, personally..."

"You're just saying that because you and he are both guys," Yuki muttered as she watched anime on the TV.

"That's not true!" the man protested. "I'm going off his performance at the regionals, he was the only one to finish!"

"That makes sense," Akina nodded. Just then, Plutia and Teen Peashy walked into the room. "Oh, hello there..."

"Hello!" Teen Peashy waved. "I made a new friend! Wanna meet her?"

The girls (and one guy) looked at each other briefly. "Sure, why not," Asuka nodded with a smile.

"OK!" Teen Peashy grinned, before gesturing for said person to come in...

"HELLO, YOU HAPPY HAREM."

"AHHHHHH! IT'S NEPGYA!" They all screamed.

"THAT'S RIGHT," the Nepgear copy nodded as she, Plutia and Teen Peashy pulled out a bunch of creme pies. "AND NOW, IT'S CARNAGE TIME!"

*SPLUT!*

"AUUGGHH! It had to be ME first!" moaned Bradley.

"Oh no you don't!" yelled Gia as she took aim, only for Plutia to pop up in front of her.

"You wouldn't shoot me, would you~?" the CPU said with a smile.

"Uh..." the sniper hesitated for a crucial second.

*SPLUT!*

"I thought not~!" Plutia exclaimed, Gia's face now covered in pie.

*SPLUT!*

 _"NOOOO! My anime!"_ Yuki wailed in despair at the now-covered TV screen.

*SPLUT!*

 _"Blech,_ rhubarb! I would've preferred Red Lobster!" Kitty sputtered in disgust.

*SPLUT!*

"I hate you _so much..."_ moaned Akina as she pulled the pie tin off her face.

"Jamie, save meeee!" wailed Asuka as she backed up against a wall, Nepgya slowly approaching with two pies in hand.

"YOUR GOD OF DESTRUCTION CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW..." Nepgya taunted.

*DOUBLE SPLUT!*

"That's all of them!" Teen Peashy squealed happily.

"Yaaay... that was fun," Plutia sighed.

"GOOD WORK, YOU TWO," Nepgya complimented as she exchanged low-fives with her co-pranksters. "MY WORK HERE IS DONE. FAREWELL!"

With that, she left, leaving a room filled with creamy mess in her wake... Oh, and Neptune snuck some root beer from the fridge while everyone was distracted. :P

*Omake- End*


	39. Episode 39: Ninja Warrior Finals Stage 3

Time for Stage 3! Can anyone survive it?!

CAuthoria-The Candidate/ROCuevas- Glad you liked the omake. :D

Kirigiriko- I'm sure Peach appreciates your enthusiasm...

And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 39

by Derald Snyder

It was time for Stage 3 of the Leanbox Ninja Warrior finals, and out of 100 finalists, only three were still standing: Peach, Adrian, and a black-shadowed NPC.

"Peashy, take a breath," Adrian advised. "You're shaking like a leaf..."

"S-sorry," Peach said as she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "I'm just... so excited! I'd never thought I'd get this far!"

"Me neither," the NPC spoke up. "Not that I'm not confident in my athletic ability, but... well, I am just an NPC, after all..."

"Which means you're basically at the whims of the author," iPhone spoke up.

"Argh!" Peach clutched her head. "iPhone, didn't we talk about this...?!"

"Yeah, iPhone, no breaking the fourth wall around Big Sis!" iPad said in a slightly mocking tone, giving her younger sister a light smack on the head.

"S-sorry," the 10-year old winced. "My mistake. It won't happen again."

"Well, she's not exactly wrong," the NPC shrugged. "Anyway, I'm first up, so I'd better get up there..."

"Yeah, looks like the hosts are about to come back on camera," Adrian observed.

"And now, it's Stage 3!" Kratt Wiseman declared. "There's no timer on this stage, but it's an extreme test of your upper body strength! So far, no competitor on this show has ever made it past this stage! Will this be the year that changes?"

"Well, we got three people challenging Stage 3 this year, all first-timers!" stated Admiral Inprunnuncibl. "Here's the obstacles they'll have to face: First, the Psycho Chainsaw, which you have to pump your arms while hanging to move forward! Then a transition to the Doorknob Grasper, five rods in an inverted V-shape! Then a platform where the competitor can take a little break!"

"But it doesn't get any easier," Kratt pointed out, "as the next obstacle is the Floating Boards! Exactly what it sounds like, you have to navigate four boards suspended in midair! Then another rest platform, followed by the Ultimate Cliffhanger!"

"Ho-leeee _crap,"_ A-Mac muttered on seeing this particular obstacle. It began with a sideways V shape on a upward inclined wall, then three straight railings above that, leading to a railing seemingly far above the last one. Then there was an extremely small railing at the same height of the three before the high one, followed by a slightly longer one on a wall sloping outward, then a much longer railing where you had to jump across to one final railing suspended in the air.

"Oh wow," Peach pulled a hand through her ponytail, "that's _nothing_ like the one we've been practicing on..."

"If they manage to complete that obstacle," Admiral continued, "they get to take another rest, then they tackle the Pole Grasper, five vertical poles suspended above water! Then they immediately transfer to the Hang Climb!" This obstacle consisted of several red-colored handholds shaped like natural rocks on a nearly horizontal glass pane, which inclined upward.

"And then they have to tackle Area 51!" said Kratt, "Navigating several flying saucers hovering in the air! And then the last obstacle, the Flying Bar! Competitors have to transfer the bar across five cradles before finally swinging to the finish platform at the end! Do any of our three finalists have what it takes to complete this grueling course?!"

"Look like we're about to find out," Admiral noted, "Cause the first guy's about to get under way!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

The NPC grabbed the handles of the Psycho Chainsaw, repeatedly pumping his arms to move forward. Once he got close enough he reached grabbed the first knob of the Doorknob Grasper, swinging to grab each knob in succession.

"No problems so far," Wiseman mused.

But does he know how to tackle the Floating Boards?" His Negro co-host pondered. They watched as the NPC looked over the obstacle, before grabbing both sides of the board with his hands... but he clearly had no idea what he was doing, as he grip gave out and he dropped-

-back onto the platform in a sitting position, his legs hanging over the edge. "Whoa, he got lucky there!" Admiral breathed out.

"Well, now he's gotta reset and figure out how to get past this obstacle," Kratt stated grimly, watching as the shadow-man stood back up, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Thinking for a few moments he reached out for the first board again, this time grabbing onto one side with his hands, putting his feet on either side of the board to help support his weight. He hung there for a second before reaching to the next board with one hand, grabbing it and managing to transfer himself over!

"There he goes! _Now_ ya got it!" Admiral cheered as the NPC made his way to the last board and dismounted onto the platform, drawings cheers from the crowd.

"Nice recovery!" Kratt added. "But now, it's the Ultimate Cliffhanger next!" The NPC looked over the daunting obstacle, before taking hold and starting to work his way up, past the sideways V shape, working his way across the three railings above that... but when he tried to grab the high railing, he couldn't reach high enough, then his grip failed and he plunged into the drink!

 **FAIL**

"Oh!" Kratt winced, "And down he goes! But still, a round of applause for a generic NPC even getting this far!"

"Yeah, he might not have a name or face, but he's got nothin' to be ashamed of!" Admiral nodded, the audience appauding as the NPC pulled himself from the water and waved to everybody.

"And up next, First Class Petty Officer Adrian Johns!" Kratt announced. "He started as a walk-on, but has done nothing but impress so far!"

 **COMPETITOR PROFILE**

"My name is Adrian, I'm a first class petty officer in the Leanbox Army. My father was a soldier who was unfortunately killed in combat during a skirmish with ASIC's forces... But despite my mother's objections, I was determined to follow in his footsteps and become a great soldier in my own right."

"But when I was accepted into service, I realized that the unit I'd been assigned to wasn't quite up to snuff- nobody there seemed to take their duties seriously... So I took it upon myself to try and get my fellow soldiers to try and compete with me on the army obstacle courses. Fortunately they started coming around, and nowadays my unit's one of the best in the business. Not to toot my own horn or anything, mind you..."

"I only really entered the competition on my girlfriend Peach's insistence, since I tried some the obstacles her training partner had set-up at his house, and I seemed to do better than anyone else did..." *chuckles*

"I don't really care about the prize money or the accolades, but I hope that if I win, it'll inspire more people to sign up for the army, because I think I'm a pretty good example of how far you can go if you put your mind to it."

 _*Back to the course*_

"Well, you gotta admit, as someone who was basically a walk-on, he's done pretty darn good for himself!" Admiral observed. "At this rate, his impromptu recruitin' drive just might be successful!"

"True, but I'm pretty sure Stage 3 is unlike anything he's seen before!" Kratt stated. "Can he get through it?"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Adrian grabbed onto the handles of the Psycho Chainsaw, pumping his arms up and down, but not going too fast in order to conserve his stamina. Reaching the end of the track, the soldier grabbed onto the first knob of the Doorknob Grasper, swinging his way across with no trouble.

"C'mon, Adrian! You got this!" A-Mac cheered from the sidelines.

Taking a moment to catch his breath, Adrian walked up to the first of the Floating Boards, grasping it with one hand to get a feel for it... then, climbed onto the side in the same position the NPC had used successfully, working his way across to the other side.

"Nicely done!" Kratt nodded, "but now, it's the Ultimate Cliffhanger!"

"Adrian says he's been practicing for this one alongside Peach and A-Mac, but will it help him out here?" Admiral pondered, as the petty officer looked the daunting obstacle over, before grabbing on... Unlike the NPC before him, who had climbed on every part of the railings, Adrian simply swung himself up to the upper part of the sideways V immediately, then swung back and used the momentum to grab the straight railing above that!

"Nice strategy, taking the shortest distance possible to conserve his energy!" Admiral observed. "But can he figure out how to grab the high railing?" The hosts watched as the soldier made his way to the end of the third straight railing, then swinging his body forward, getting just enough 'oomph' to reach up and grab the high railing, quickly pulling up his other hand!

"Man, he's almost making the Ultimate Cliffhanger look _easy!"_ Kratt said with a grin, as Adrian managed to drop down and grab the tiny railing without falling, then transferring to the next railing over. "But can he make that last jump to the final railing?"

Reaching the end, Adrian turned himself so that his hands were holding the railing in a reverse grip, allowing him to face the last railing suspended in the air. He then began to swing back and forth, before launching himself-

-and grabbing the last railing! _"He did it!"_ Kratt cried as the audience cheered. "Adrian Johns completes the Ultimate Cliffhanger!" The soldier dropped onto the platform, shaking his hands a little as he took a short break.

"Go, Adrian!" Peach yelled with her hands up to her mouth. "Go all the way!"

"Now it's on to the Pole Grasper!" Admiral announced. "Let's see how he handles this one..."

(Looks like I have to climb high enough to be able to grab the Rock Climb at the end,) the petty officer thought as he looked over the remainder of the course... He grabbed onto the first pole, holding it not only with his hands but tightly gripping the pole between his legs as well. He then reached out and grasped the second pole, transferring himself over without problem, then to the third...

but when he grabbed the fourth pole, it suddenly dropped down about a foot! Fortunately he had a good enough grip that he didn't go plummeting into the water as a result, but the shock on his face was palpable.

"He wasn't expecting the fourth pole to drop like that, but he least he kept his grip!" Kratt stated the obvious, as Adrian took a breath to calm himself after that scare, then transferring himself to the last pole, climbing up a little in order to grab the Rock Climb...

"He's shaken, but not stirred!" Admiral quipped, as Adrian climbed up to the hanging bar between obstacles, looping one leg through the bar and hanging in a half-upside-down position, giving his left arm a little rest, then switching arms to let his right arm rest as well...

"Looks like he's getting ready to tackle Area 51!" said Wiseman, as Adrian briefly hung down before lifting his legs up and wrapped around the first saucer, using his hands to turn himself to transfer to the next.

"Usin' his legs to grab the saucers, clever move on his part!" Admiral noted. "This's what we say about Ninja Warrior- it's about using your brain as well as your body to get past these obstacles!"

Everyone watched as Adrian climbed across the rest of the saucers, before getting into a sitting position on the final rest bar.

"Come on, Adrian! You got this! You can do it!" A-Mac called.

"The hopes and dreams of all our Army comrades are on you!" Sergei yelled.

"One last obstacle, the Flying Bar!" said Kratt. "Does he have enough gas in the tank to finish?"

Adrian had bunched up his legs to brace against the rest bar, in order to rest his arms for a few seconds and catch his breath... after about half a minute, he finally gripped the Flying Bar and hung down. Swinging a bit, he managed to jump the bar to the next cradle... then the third... then the fourth... finally getting himself onto the last cradle. Now it was time for the dismount... the crowd holding its collective breath as Adrian swung back and forth, building up momentum, releasing...

and landing on the platform!

 **FINISH!**

"He's done it! He's done it!" Kratt screamed in excitement, pumping his fist. "Adrian Johns becomes the first person _ever_ to complete Stage 3 here on Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"

"I see you, Adrian!" Admiral cheered. "Move over Captain Leanbox, there's a new super soldier in town!"

 _"ADRIAAAAAAANN!"_ Peach, Sergei and A-Mac all cheered.

"Laaaaaammmee..." Adrian gasped out, having fallen to his knees in exhaustion and relief.

"I'm starting to see why Big Sis fell for him..." iPad stated.

"Either that, or Mr. Adrian was the first person she met disciplined enough to not ogle her," iPhone theorized.

"Yeah, that too..." iPad conceded.

"Oy, nice job, comrade!" Sergei said as Adrian slowly walked back over to the group. "Victory yell!"

"UU-RAAHHH!" Both soldiers cried as they bumped their chests together.

"Bleh, Army men," Nisa rolled her eyes. "Too much testosterone for my tastes..."

"Watch it, Nicole," Peach growled. "That's my _boyfriend_ you're talking about..."

"I-I'm just saying, that's why I prefer A-Mac," Nicole rapidly babbled. "He's strong, but he doesn't get all puffed up over it... A-anyway, isn't your turn next?"

"Huh...? Oh, right! Thanks for reminding me!" Peashy nodded as she jogged to the start platform.

"Go, Big Sis!" iPad and iPhone encouraged.

"And now, our last competitor on Stage 3 tonight, former staff sergeant Peach Macintosh!" Kratt announced. "Can she follow in her boyfriend's foot steps? We're about to find out!"

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

Peach had no trouble working the Psycho Chainsaw across the track, transferring to the Doorknob Hanger and swinging across.

"Look at those muscles!" Admiral said. "She's gotta lot of power, but muscle is heavier than fat, so it might work against her here..."

"Well, she's on to the Floating Boards now," Wiseman observed. She's watch the previous two get across, she shouldn't have any trouble..." The hosts watched as Peashy worked her way across in much the same manner as Adrian did. "No trouble at all! But now it's the Ultimate Cliffhanger!"

"This where her extra weight could work against her," Admiral muttered worriedly. "She needs to hustle and not waste any time here..."

Taking a breath to calm herself, Peashy grabbed onto the first railing, pulling herself up past the sideways V like Adrian did, then working her way across the three level railings... she managed to swing herself up to the high railing, but when it came time to drop down to the tiny railing, one of her hands missed, leaving her dangling precariously from the other hand, drawing gasps from the crowd. She managed to swing forward and grab the next railing, however.

"Nice recovery!" Kratt nodded.

"Yeah, look at that determination on her face!" his Negro co-host noted. "Ain't nothin' gonna stop Super-Peach!" They watched as Peach made her way to the last railing, turning herself around like Adrian had, her teeth gritted as she starting swinging back and forth...

And then she leapt. Time seemed to slow as Peach flew through the air...

... her eyes going wide as her fingers _missed_ the railing, which seemed to rise further and further away...

then water flooded her vision, the stage lit up red, and she knew... it was all over.

 **FAIL**

The crowds cried out in dismay at seeing their fan favorite take the plunge. "She couldn't make that final jump! So close, and yet so far!" Kratt sighed in disbelief.

"Looks like she was just too heavy, she couldn't get enough momentum to make that last transition!" Admiral lamented. "We've found Super-Peach's Kryptonite, and it's the Ultimate Cliffhanger!"

Peashy still seemed in a state of shock as Adrian and A-Mac pulled her from the water. "You OK, Peach?" Adrian asked worriedly, the blonde unresponsive as she sat down at the edge of the stage, her head bowed.

"Hey, look at it this way," A-Mac tried to console her, "You got farther than that NPC, so technically, you're second place..." Peach only grunted in response... but then, she lifted her head as she heard cheers and applause from the crowds, realizing they were cheering for her.

"See? They think you did a good job, too," said Adrian, his girlfriend finally allowing herself a tiny smile as he helped her stand, walking her back to her family and friends.

"Listen to them cheerin' for Peach!" Admiral said with a grin. "They all liked her performance, even if she came up short in the end!"

"Yes, a spectacular performance for her first time on this course!" Kratt agreed. "But it's her boyfriend and fellow soldier, Adrian Johns, who has earned the right to challenge the Final Stage for a chance to make history and win a million credits! The historic climb begins, next on _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_

 _*To be continued...*_

Too bad Peashy couldn't make it... but will Adrian win it all? Read and Review!


	40. Episode 40: Ninja Warrior, Final Stage!

We've breached the 40-episode mark! Time for the final stage!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 40

by Derald Snyder

The crowds were going wild, cheering for the last man standing on the Mt. Nepdoriyama course, as he got into the harness for the final stage.

"We are in the midst of ninja history!" Kratt Wiseman declared enthusiastically. "First Class Petty Officer Adrian Harold Johns, a first-timer, has successfully conquered each and every obstacle set before him! And now he stands ready at the final obstacle between him and a million-credit prize payout! Will he be able to do what no Leanbox native has done before?"

"He has to climb 75 feet of rope in under 30 seconds!" Admiral explained. "Hopefully his Army training will help him out here!"

"Come on, comrade!" Sergei encouraged. "This should be nothing for you!"

"Gooooo Adrian!" Peach yelled.

"Do it for your girlfriend!" iPad added.

"I'm confident you can succeed!" iPhone said.

"Yeah, you got this!" A-Mac cheered.

Adrian waved to his companions, before taking his position, gripping the rope with both hands.

 _*beep, beep, beep, BOOP!*_

"And there he goes!" cried Kratt as Adrian began climbing quickly. "35 years old and he's performing like he's still in his 20's!"

"He's got a chance to do it!" said Admiral. "Don't run outta steam now!"

Once Adrian got 2/3 of the way up, his pace began to slow, gritting his teeth as he tried to keep climbing. "Uh-oh, is Mr. Super-Soldier running outta gas?!" Admiral worried. The 10-second alarm began to blare as the soldier continued working his way up the rope...

"Five seconds! He's so close!" Kratt cried, the crowds holding their collective breath as Adrian reached the hole at the top...

-and hit the buzzer with 1.5 seconds remaining!

 **FINISH! TOTAL VICTORY!**

 _"He did it! He did it!"_ Wiseman literally jumped up and down in joy. "Adrian Harold Johns goes where no Leanboxian has gone before- the very top of Mt. Nepdoriyama! Adrian is our first _Leanbox Ninja Warrior!"_

The crowd went nuts as Adrian stood tall atop the tower, raising his arms in triumph and relief, as a loudspeaker boomed **"SUPREME VICTORY!"**

 _"AADRIAAAAAAANNN!"_ Peach and co. all cheered.

 _"VICTORYYYYYY!"_ The petty officer answered back, before standing straight and saluting the crowds below...

 _*A short time later...*_

"Congratulations!" exclaimed Sharon as Adrian finished his climb back down to the bottom. "How does it feel to have achieved Total Victory?"

"Unbelievable!" the soldier gasped out, still a little winded. "Never thought I'd actually do it, y'know?"

"Well, Lady Vert herself says you're one of the best in the army, and you've definitely proven that tonight!" Sharon declared. "So what are you gonna do with the prize money?"

"Donate it to charity," Adrian replied. "It was never really about the money, anyway... I don't need it, I've already got everything I want right here!" he wrapped his arm around Peach, who was standing nearby. "Isn't that right, Peashy?"

"Oh, Adrian, you wonderful man! I love you soooo much! _Mmmmmmmmm-MWAH!"_ Peach gave her boyfriend a deep kiss on the lips, causing him to lose his balance and fall on his rear from shock, eliciting laughter from the NPC co-host.

"...How come you never kiss me like that, Arthur?" Nisa inquired her boyfriend.

"You never asked," A-Mac shrugged, before abruptly grabbing Nicole off her feet and swamping her with an intense kiss as well!

"Woo-hooooo! Go, Big Brother!" iPad cheered.

"Blech!" iPhone covered her eyes. "I think I'm too young to see this yet..."

 _"Arthur!"_ Laura chastised. "Must you do that in front of everyone?!" A-Mac promptly broke off the kiss, grinning and blushing sheepishly...

"I don't miiiind..." Nisa sighed with hearts in her eyes.

"Guess being a good kisser runs in the family, huh A-Mac?" Peach tittered, causing her half-brother's blush to deepen...

 _*Meanwhile, at Lisa's house...*_

"...That's my girl," Lisa nodded with a smile as she watched her daughter and her boyfriend on the television.

"She's quite something, isn't she?" Vert concurred, sitting next to Peach's mother. "But Adrian is something else, indeed..."

"Yes he is," the elder woman nodded. "Peach is lucky to have found such an upright man like him..." She sighed. "Makes me wish Steve had been half as upright as Adrian is..."

"...Is that a hint of remorse I detect?" the goddess gently prodded.

"...Maybe just a smidgen," Lisa allowed. "But we can't change the past- we can only move forward. And I can safely say Peach has a bright future ahead of her..." She turned to Vert. "Honestly, Lady Vert, you didn't have to stay with me tonight... I got over my 'empty nest syndrome' a while back."

"Oh, that's not it," the CPU shook her head, "I just thought we should watch Peashy's performance together, that's all... She certainly did quite well, even if she didn't quite make it to the end..."

"Oh, I'm sure she'll want to try again next year," Lisa chuckled. "Just as long as she doesn't obsess with it, to the exclusion of everything else."

"I highly doubt that," Vert shrugged. "And if she thinks she's going to get _me_ to try again next year, she has another thing coming..."

The two blondes chuckled together at this...

*Episode 40- End*

And with that, the 'Ninja Warrior' saga finally comes to a close! Review if you enjoyed this arc, I've already got an idea for another one-shot in the works...


	41. Episode 41: It Goes With Everything

While I didn't initially intend it as such, this episode could be seen as a tribute to the fallen soldiers we recall this Memorial Day...

CAuthoria-The Candidate- Sorry, no Nisa this episode... hope you enjoy it anyway.

Ant- Hey, I'm not the one who named that particular obstacle! Blame the NBC execs for that one! :P

ROCuevas- Glad you enjoyed that arc. Just realized it's the longest one so far, at 11 episodes... O_O

And now... ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 41

by Derald Snyder

 _*Army Barracks, Lastation City*_

Peach walked into the barracks in a military dress uniform, seeing several soldiers sitting and lazing about, not doing much... Sweat-dropping, she couldn't help but wonder, (Is this how Adrian felt when he was first recruited? Sheesh, no wonder Noire requested me to try and whip these guys into shape...) Putting her pinky fingers to the corners of her mouth, she whistled long and hard, getting everyone's attention. "Alright, you soldiers! Out to the training grounds, _NOW! Hut, hut, hut!"_ Something in her voice caused the scattered men to immediately jump to their feet and do as ordered...

 _*At the training grounds*_

Peashy looked over the soldiers gathered in front of her with a critical eye, noting that some of their uniforms looked quite disheveled. "So then," she began, "My name is Peach Macintosh. It has come to Lady Noire's attention that you losers are operating _far_ below your potential, to put it politely. So she has recruited me from Leanbox in order to get your sorry butts back into shape, come heck or high water!"

"LEANBOX?!" one of the men spoke out. "Why do we gotta listen to some busty broad from Leanbox?!" A few of the others mumbled in agreement. Peach's eyes narrowed at this, marching over to a tall rain barrel that was full to the top with water...

...and easily lifted it over her head with one arm, the soldiers gasping in disbelief! "I believe the phrase is, 'You're out of line, soldier,'" the blonde growled.

"Y-y-yes ma'am! So sorry, ma'am!" the offending soldier stood at attention. "I-it won't happen again!"

"Good." Peashy set the rain barrel down. "I didn't get to Staff Sergeant in the Leanbox Army with my good looks, you know... Anyway." Marching back in front of the gathered men, she stated, "First things first, I have to see exactly where you are before I can figure out where to take you. And for that, I've brought some help." Turning her head, she put two fingers to her mouth and whistled sharply, causing a red-headed girl to run out onto the grounds. Said girl had her hair pulled back into a single ponytail, wearing a pink sweater and gray short skirt, along with black-and-orange striped socks, with black shoes and black leg warmers. "This is my companion, Uzume. She'll be putting you through your paces today."

"Hello~!" The new arrival waved. "Uzume is happy to meet you all!"

The gathered soldiers groaned in disbelief. "With all due respect, Sergeant," another man spoke up, "you can't be serious! You think we can't take on someone like this?!"

"...would you like to try?" Peach raised an eyebrow. "Come on up here, then." The soldier smirked as he confidently strode in front of the redhead, taking a fighting stance. (Too relaxed and sloppy,) Peach couldn't help but observe.

"Hee hee, Don't go too hard on Uzume, ok~?" Uzume giggled as she took her stance, causing her opponent to roll his eyes.

"We'll use the 'three-strikes' rule," Peashy declared. "First one to land three clean hits on their opponent wins, got it? And... GO!"

Uzume opened with a wide swing, which soldier ducked under and responded with a punch to the shoulder. "Owie!" the redhead cried.

"One!" said Peach.

"You meanie!" Uzume said, lashing out with a high kick... which went wide by several inches, her opponent catching her leg on the way down and throwing her to the ground. Uzume immediately jumped back up and swung again, only to get socked in the face.

"Two!" said Peach. Uzume then jumped and flipped over the soldier's head-

-only to be hit with a kick that sent her sprawling. "Three! You're out!" Peach declared. The other soldiers applauded their comrade at this.

"So, whadaya think?" the man said smugly. "Can't call me a loser now, can ya?"

"Hmph!" the blonde snorted. "It would seem you _at least_ have a grasp of the basics... though a very loose grasp."

"Waaaaaait!" Uzume yelled suddenly as she stood back up. "Uzume wants to go again! Please? Pretty please? Uzume will work really hard this time!"

The soldier rolled his eyes, before turning to the others. "Hey, one of you wanna go?"

"I'll do it!" One of them raised his hand, walking up as his comrade returned to the line. "This'll be a piece of cake!"

"Nuh-uh!" the redhead shook her head. "When Uzume gets serious, you don't stand a chance! Though Uzume would much rather be saved by a dashing Prince Charming... Ahhhhh..." Peach promptly snapped her fingers in front of Uzume's face to snap her out of it. "Oops! Was Uzume daydreaming again?" The soldiers laughed at this.

"Come on!" the man standing across from Uzume groaned, "If you're not gonna take this seriously, why don't you just go home to Leanbox?"

"Wrong! Uzume lives in Planeptune, not Leanbox!" the redhead retorted.

"Well _that_ explains a few things," another soldier snarked, causing another round of laughter.

Peashy stomped her foot once to get everyone's attention, before speaking, "For your information, Planeptune is where I was born and raised! And I'm not letting you off with insulting my old home! Right, Uzume?"

"You got it!" Uzume nodded. "Peashy..." her voice suddenly lowered, "get me my fighting gloves. Time to send these scrubs to dreamland!"

 _*Music- Guile's Theme(CPS2), Super Street Fighter II*_

Uzume promptly threw off her pink sweater, revealing her usual outfit underneath, then undoing her ponytail and re-tying her hair into her familiar twin-tails, Peach passing her black fighting gloves to her, which the CPU promptly slid on, taking her stance. "Let's go!"

The soldier hesitated, before going for a right hook, only for Uzume to grab his limb and sock him three times in the stomach! "One, two, three! You're out!" She tossed him aside. "Next!"

"Hey!" The soldier who had fought before rushed in, only to get slugged in the face twice, then kicked aside.

"One, two, three! You're out! Next!"

"GET HER!" The remaining soldiers rushed in, and seemed to overwhelm Uzume and pound her into the ground...

"Hey, over here, losers!" A voice called a short distance away, the soldiers looking up and seeing Uzume standing there. They immediately stood and rushed her again, only for the redhead to kick the front guy in the solar plexus, sending him crashing back into the others. A few soldiers broke off and tried to surround her, only for Uzume to lash out with a roundhouse that knocked them all down! Another soldier tried a jumping kick, but the goddess just grabbed his foot and flipped him backwards onto the ground. Another one tried to sneak up from behind, but Uzume easily ducked his swing, coming back up with a backhand that sent him onto his back, knocked out.

Two more soldiers rushed at her from opposite sides, the redhead stepping back and letting them collide with each other, then grabbing their heads and knocking them together for good measure. "Anyone else?"

The last soldier cautiously approached with gritted teeth, swinging as Uzume rushed in... and missing, allowing the goddess to knee him in the stomach, slug him in the ribs with her left fist, then finish with a right-fisted uppercut that sent him to the ground. "Is that it? Sheesh, I could've gotten better practice with the training dummies at the Basilicom!" Uzume sighed as she dusted off her hands.

Peashy could only laugh as she clapped her hands. "Nice job, Uzume! You sure showed them!"

"Nnngghh... you tricked us!" One soldier grunted as he slowly got up.

"Yes. Yes I did," Peach admitted with no remorse. "Let that be a lesson to you _losers..._ NEVER underestimate your opponent! It's now become clear to me that you ALL need to be re-trained from square one! And that training starts _now!_ On your feet, maggots! Up, up, up!"

The soldiers groaned as they slowly dragged themselves to their feet, realizing that their torture was just beginning...

*Episode 41- End*

Do you understand the episode's title now? XD As always, review!


	42. Episode 42: Attack of the Giant NEPGYA!

Here's another episode for you to enjoy!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 42

by Derald Snyder

 _*Steve DeRommer's House*_

"So you said you and Arthur had something to show us?" Steve asked Peach as he, along with his wife and two younger daughters made themselves comfortable on the couch.

"Yeah, A-Mac and I made an amateur mini-movie of sorts, with Adrian's help," Peashy nodded in response. "We thought you might at least get a laugh out of it..."

"Just don't expect anything near the quality of your 3D films, okay Dad?" A-Mac said as he set up the TV.

"Riiiiight," Steve deadpanned, causing iPad to chuckle a little.

"I assume your movie is going for parody, anyway," iPhone theorized.

"Something like that, yeah," Peach nodded. "OK, it's all ready... Here we go." She then sat down next to her father, A-Mac sitting next to his mother before hitting PLAY.

The screen showed a smaller TV with static on-screen, with a large cardboard sign pasted over it that read: 'ATTACK OF THE GIANT NEPGYA'. Then it shifted to a slightly overhead view of Peach and A-Mac playing catch with a football, before Peach suddenly stopped and pointed at something in the sky, A-Mac also turning to look...

"SMILE," a sing-song female voice rang out, the screen showing a cutout of Nepgya rising over a much smaller cutout of Steve's house.

Peach and Arthur run away, the video showing an overhead shot first, then one from the side, A-Mac tripping but quickly regaining his feet, just before one of Nepgear's boots comes down right in front of the camera. "SMILE... SAY CHEESE," Nepgya taunted.

iPad had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter, iPhone grinning by her side.

The video then showed A-Mac dialing a number on his iPhone, before shifting to indoors, where a printed sign read 'EGGPLANT MISSILE HEADQUARTERS' was displayed above a phone. A military man- presumably Adrian, though his face wasn't shown, picked up the phone saying, "You need a bombing run? 10-4, right away!" before hanging up.

It then cut back to Peach quaking with fear, before A-Mac comes to her side, pointing up at the sky. We see a shot of fighter jets in the sky, then a shot of a model jet with an eggplant suspended beneath it. "Target locked-on! _Fire!"_ Adrian's voice says, the eggplant then dropping from beneath the jet...

The video then cuts back to the cutout of Nepgya, which suddenly gets splattered with eggplant pieces and grape juice! "NEPGYYAAAAAA..." is heard, cutting to a shot of Nepgear's eggplant-covered boots tilting backward, as if their owner fell over, followed by a final shot of Peach and Arthur jumping up and down in celebration.

THE END

STARRING PEACH MACINTOSH

ARTHUR DEROMMER

ADRIAN JOHNS

AND NEPGEAR'S EVIL TWIN NEPGYA

The video then ended, iPad rolling on the floor with laughter, iPhone giggling uncontrollably, and even Laura chuckling a bit.

"So, what'd you think, Dad?" A-Mac asked.

"Well," Steve sighed, "The acting was OK, the plot was bare-bones, and the effects were horrible. But if it was parody you were going for," he gave a thumbs-up, "you nailed it." A-Mac promptly pumped his fists in triumph with a grin.

"Perhaps you should show this to your mother, Peach," Laura suggested.

"Maybe," Peashy shrugged in response, "But Mom doesn't really have the stuff to play this, so I'll have to ask Adrian to upload it on NepTube for me."

"WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD," another voice spoke up from behind the couch, everyone turning...

And seeing none other than Nepgya herself. "HELLO, YOU HAPPY FAMILY."

 _"YAAAAAAAAAAHH!"_ Everyone cried in terror. Everyone but Peach, that is, who promptly leapt at the clone and tackled her to the ground.

 _"Run!_ Get outta the house!" the blonde yelled as she grappled with Nepgya, the others swiftly evacuating the premises...

 _*A short time later...*_

The front door to Steve's house opened, Peach carrying Nepgya by her hair and the skirt of her sailor uniform. "And STAY OUT!" she yelled as she hurled the evil funny-face through the air.

"AHHH-HA-HA-HA-HOOIEEEE!" Nepgya cried as she sailed through an ungraceful arc... right into a passing dump truck.

Peashy dusted her hands off as she nodded in satisfaction. "Is she gone?" she heard A-Mac's voice from inside.

"Yep, took her out with the trash," the blonde confirmed as she went back inside.

Meanwhile, Nepgya groaned as she pulled herself into a sitting position. "WELL, THAT COULD HAVE GONE BETTER..." She then felt the truck stop, before the mechanical arm grabbed a large trash bin and emptied it into the truck!

 _"NEPGYAAAAA-!"_ the clone's scream was silenced as she was promptly buried in smelly, stinky garbage.

*Episode 42- End*

As always, review!


	43. Episode 43: Chika & Chika

Still working on the next chapter of 'The Ten-Year Turnabout', but in the meantime, here's a new episode of Hyperdimension Peashy to tide you over... Enjoy!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 43

by Derald Snyder

Chika stared.

Chika stared back.

Chika blinked.

Chika tilted her head curiously.

"...Like staring in a mirror, huh?" Peach observed.

"Uh-huh," Both Chikas nodded. One was clad in the traditional black dress Chika Hakozaki was known for, while her counterpart was dressed in a more conservative green blouse and matching skirt, though they both wore the same distinctive black bow in their hair.

"So are you just gonna stare at each other all day?" Peashy sighed. "I mean, you were so gung-ho about meeting your other self, Chika..."

"I know," the Chika in the black dress nodded. "Tell me something... is Lady Vert truly your sister in this dimension?"

"Half-sister, yes," the other Chika, the one from the Ultradimension, clarified. "Father confirmed it. He had a one-night stand with Vert's mother quite a few years before I was born... Apparently my mother's had some problems with her womb in the past, she says my birth was nearly a miracle..."

"Is that right?" Chika said as she rested her chin on one hand. "I don't recall my mother ever saying she had trouble conceiving... she only wanted one child to begin with."

"You don't say," the other Chika muttered as she looked her other self over. "Does your Vert really permit you to dress like that? On the clock, I mean?"

"I've never heard her complain," Chika shrugged. "Though, I can understand why your Vert won't allow you to dress in such a manner... Peach told me that you were apparently quite the delinquent before Lady Vert took you under her wing."

"And I suppose YOU were a paragon of good behavior in your youth?" the other Chika retorted.

"Well... I admit I smoked in high school," Chika said, "But when I decided I wanted to work for Lady Vert, I forced myself to kick the habit. I knew she would never approve..."

The other Chika nodded. "Well, at least Vert's mom is a former smoker herself, so she helps me work through my nicotine withdrawals... I don't think I could handle it otherwise. And Vert herself... well, 'slave-driver' is probably too harsh a term, but she's very strict regardless..."

"I'm sure she's only like that because she wants you to become a better person," Peashy cut in. "She's wanted a little sister for the longest time, and now that she actually has one... Of course, I've seen my Lady Vert be quite strict with this Chika too, especially when we had trouble getting along..."

"I suppose I was being rather childish at the time..." Chika admitted with a sigh. "But when she saved me from Iris Heart, I-"

 _"Iris Heart?!"_ The other Chika jumped up from her chair in horror. "Not THE Iris Heart, the terror of Planeptune! You met her and lived to tell about it?!"

"She's not THAT bad," Peashy sighed. "Actually, when she's not in HDD, she's really nice and friendly... but if you piss her off, then Katy bar the door. Besides, that whole encounter was a set-up by my Vert to begin with..."

"Wh-what?!" the other Chika grunted in disbelief. "Your Vert...?! Why? Why would she do such a horrible thing?!"

"It was a last resort, to get me to see the error of my ways," Chika explained. "...It worked. Anyway," she took a breath, "enough about Peach and myself. The reason I came here was to see if I could help you become a better servant to your sister..."

"Really...?" The other Chika mulled as she sat back down. "What did you have in mind, exactly?"

"I thought I might teach you how to give a back massage," her counterpart stated. "And we'll be using Peach here as a guinea pig, so to speak."

"Yeah, and don't worry about hurting me too much," the blonde said. "I'm a tough girl, I used to serve in the army before being hired as Lady Vert's bodyguard..."

"...Well, okay," the other Chika agreed. "I'll give it a try..."

"Thattagirl," Chika smiled.

 _*A few minutes later...*_

"Erg, pressing too hard!" Peashy grunted through gritted teeth, now laying on her front side with her shirt removed and her bra strap undone.

"Oh, sorry," the other Chika apologized as she eased off a little. "Your muscles are pretty hard, so it's hard for me to tell..."

"You don't press directly down like that," Chika instructed. "Use circular motions."

"O-okay," the other Chika nodded, doing as she was told.

"Ahhh yeah, that's more like it..." Peach sighed in contentment.

Chika nodded slightly in satisfaction. "All right, now move on to the next spot."

Just then, a voice was heard shouting, "Chikaaa! Where are you? You had better not be slacking off again...!" The door then opened, revealing Ultradimension Vert. "Oh, there you are... Huh?" Her eyes shrunk to circles as she realized she was seeing double.

"No, Lady Vert, you don't have double vision," Peach grunted as she lifted her head up slightly.

"Oh...? OH!" Vert gasped as realization dawned. "Y-you must be the Chika Hakozaki that works for my counterpart, correct?"

"Yes, Lady Vert!" Chika curtsied briefly. "I was teaching my other self how to give back massages, seeing as I do that for my Vert all the time... Surely you also have back problems every so often, for, well, obvious reasons..."

"...Yes, you're quite right," Vert agreed. "It seems to be a common problem with women that have busts larger than a C-cup... I assume that's why you're letting Chika massage you, Peashy?"

"It helps," Peach admitted solemnly. "Honestly, it's part of the reason I started working out my body, 'cause these damn things wouldn't stop _growing..."_ The two Chikas couldn't help but chuckle at this. "Not to mention all the male students going through puberty, need I say more?"

"Oh no, I understand perfectly," Vert nodded. "I hope you didn't hurt them too badly..."

"Well, I never broke any bones, other than a nose or three... Chika, if you're not gonna continue my massage, could you please put my bra back on?"

"Oh, certainly," the other Chika nodded, re-fastening the strap so Peach could sit up without exposing herself. "Oh, and here's your shirt..."

"Thanks," Peashy grunted as she pulled said shirt over her head. "Lady Vert, no offense meant, but this Chika seems to imply you're being a little too harsh on her..."

"I call it 'tough love,'" Vert countered. "I believe I've already explained to you why..."

"Well, Lady Vert," the Hyperdimension Chika spoke up, "perhaps you could emphasize the 'love' part a bit more... th-that came out wrong, didn't it?" Her cheeks flushed a bit.

"Only if you're guilty of something more than sisterly love..." Peach muttered under her breath.

"W-what is _that_ supposed to mean...?!" the other Chika gasped, her eyes shrunk to circles.

"N-nothing!" Chika insisted, "J-just unsavory rumors! Lady Vert and I have played some raunchy games together, b-but that's as far as it goes!"

"...I see. Well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt," Vert muttered with her eyes closed. "Though, I do remember glimpsing some games in my sister's library with some... _suggestive_ titles."

"Yes, and some of those titles I've seen in _your_ collection, sister!" the other Chika shot back. "Pot, meet kettle! Or perhaps I should say, it runs in the family!"

 _"Gah!"_ Vert jerked back in shock. "Ngh... well played, little sister. Well played indeed..."

"Make way for Pea!" a young voice shouted, as little Peashy abruptly ran into the room. "Hi, big sis! Neptuna told me you'd be here today!"

"Oh, hi there!" Peach greeted back with a smile.

"Why, Peashy! What a pleasant surprise!" Vert smiled widely as she picked up the five-year-old girl in her arms. "Even if I have a real sister now, it's always nice of you to visit...!"

Chika blinked, nonplussed. "W-wait, YOU'RE Peashy...?"

"That's me!" Young Peashy proclaimed with a grin. "Bert, stop hugging me so hard! Pea can't breathe!"

"But wait, if you're..." Chika pointed at Peashy, before her finger slid over to Peach. "And you're..." her eyes went wide as she tapped her cranium a few times... then the Oracle started to giggle, before progressing to uncontrollable belly-laughter. "Ah... ah ha ha ha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my Goddess, it all makes _sense_ now! _That's_ why Lady Vert hired you! Because you're... _AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!"_ Chika collapsed to the floor, tears in her eyes as she pounded the floor with one fist.

"What in the world has gotten into you?!" Vert grunted in disbelief.

"I second that!" the other Chika concurred.

"Green Lady's weird," little Peashy said.

"Yes she is," Peach nodded. "Of course, I figured out the real reason Lady Vert hired me a long time ago... How about we go play a four-player game while we wait for Chika to stop laughing?"

"OK!" Peashy cried enthusiastically. The others agreed as well, promptly following the blonde soldier out of the room...

*Episode 43- End*


	44. Episode 44: Wake-Up Prank

Remember the air horn from 'The Dead Thief's Turnabout'? It's baaaaaack... XD

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 44

by Derald Snyder

Peach walked into Vert's room, hoping that she could wake her up without too much trouble... when she stopped cold, her eyes going wide.

It was Vert and Chika, sleeping together in Vert's bad, both with content smiles on their faces. (Well, if this isn't all kinds of suggestive,) she thought with a sweat drop. At least they were still in their clothes from yesterday... then Peach suddenly got an idea, smirking as she exited the room...

When she came back she was hiding her myPhone in one hand, and an air horn in the other. Turning on her mobile device's 'record' function, she looked into the phone and whispered, "Wake-up prank," before pointing the phone's camera at Vert and Chika... Making sure the air horn was at least partially in-frame, she set it off, filling the room with a 100-decibel horn blast.

The effect was immediate, as Vert abruptly jerked upward into a sitting position, while Chika's limbs flailed under the sheets before she managed to pull herself up as well. Both had looks of shock on their faces, their eyes shrunk to small circles.

"Peach...?! Oh, for heaven's sake...!" Vert moaned as she rubbed her temples. "You _know_ I hate being awakened in such a manner..."

"Ah... wha... huh...?" Chika grunted as she looked over at her goddess, then back at Peashy. "Oh, no! Peach, th-this is NOT w-what it looks like, I swear! I-I was just putting Lady Vert to bed when she fell asleep at her computer, and...!"

"Tell that to all your adoring fans on the Internep," the blonde soldier taunted with a grin.

"What th- you're _recording?!"_ Chika screeched in horror, quickly whipping the sheets off her as she jumped out of the bed. _"Gimme that phone-!"_

Peach just laughed as she turned and ran out of the room, the Leanbox Oracle hot on her heels...

 _*Some time later...*_

Vert was in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and toast when Chika trudged into the room, panting, sweaty and exhausted. "It appears Peach outran you, hmm?"

"Actually, she collapsed from exhaustion and I brought her back here," Peashy said as she entered behind the Oracle, pulling out a chair for the greenette to plop down on. "You should join me for my morning jogs more often, it'd do good for your health."

"Very... funny..." Chika panted as Vert scooped some eggs on her plate. It took a few minutes for her to summon the energy to grab the fork and start eating...

"Honestly, Peach," Vert sighed in disapproval, "that was uncalled for, what you did. I thought you would have outgrown such childish pranks by now..."

"Sorry, Lady Vert," the other blonde shrugged with a smile as she sat down, "but that scene was just begging to be recorded..."

"You do realize..." Chika groaned, "that such a video... will only fuel the rumors... about Lady Vert and myself..."

"You were both fully dressed," Peach countered, "so most people with half a brain'll realize that nothing *ahem* _steamy_ happened between the two of you..." She took a bite of her scrambled eggs.

"Even so..." Chika sighed as she nibbled at her eggs. "I think you should be disciplined..."

"Oh, she will be..." Vert smirked... suddenly whipping out the air horn from earlier and blowing it in Peach's face!

The blonde screamed as her eardrums were assaulted, falling off her chair as a result! Sticking a pinky finger in one ear, Peashy looked up to see Vert's own mobile device in hand! "Wha- _seriously?!"_

"Let this be a lesson to you, dear Peach," Vert proclaimed, **"what goes around comes around."**

Chika laughed uncontrollably at the sudden reversal, as Peashy buried her face in her hands in embarrassment...

*Episode 44- End*

Talk about laser-guided karma... laugh and review!


	45. Episode 45: Surprise, Thugs!

Wow, I'm on a roll with these lately...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 45

by Derald Snyder

The little girl was panting hard as she ran through the streets of one the seedier districts in Leanbox City... Looking behind her, she saw the group of thugs in hot pursuit, quickly running around a corner to try and evade them-

Only to come face-to-face with a solid wall- she'd run into a dead-end alley. Turning around, her eyes went wide with fear as she realized the thugs had already blocked the way out. "No... stay away..." she whimpered, holding tightly to her doll.

"Now, now, we don't wanna hurt ya," the leader of thugs said. "After all, our clients don't like 'damaged goods.'"

"Wh-what clients?!" the girl demanded.

"Let's just say there're people out there who got an 'itch' that needs to be scratched," the thug replied. "And only things that can scratch that itch are little boys n' girls. Course, you're a little on the tall side, but I'm sure someone'll pay a pretty penny for ya..."

"Nooooooo!" the girl cried in terror.

 _"Hold it right there!"_ Another female voice shouted out, the group of thugs turning to see a white suit of military armor drop down a short distance away. "You leave her alone or else!"

"Or else what?" one thug challenged.

"Yeah, you and what army?" another taunted.

"The Leanbox Army, of course!" Peach retorted, which caused the group of criminals to burst into laughter.

 _"Those_ sad sacks of cannon fodder meat? Whatta joke!" the head thug gasped out between laughs. "Boys, take care o' this faker!"

"You got it, boss!" another thug said as he and his cohorts surrounded the soldier. "Don't think that armor's gonna help you against all of us!"

"Cannon fodder, huh?" Peach muttered. "Where I come from, _them's fightin' words!"_ Suddenly, she whipped out her baton and spun in a 360-degree circle, knocking all the thugs down! She then kicked the man in front of her, sending him skidding a few feet! One thug jumped on her from behind, only for Peach to flip him over her shoulder and slam him to the ground! The armored soldier then made a wide swing with her baton, knocking down a few thugs who'd managed to regain their feet.

"Freeze!" one thug shouted as he pointed a gun in Peashy's face... only for the woman to grab his wrist and squeeze hard, the criminal crying out in pain as he dropped the gun and fell to his knees! Peach then nonchalantly tossed the thug into the air behind her, who crashed ungraciously into a nearby dumpster. Hearing another thug sneaking up from behind, she whipped around and lashed out with her fist, catching the man in the ribcage and sending him rolling away a fair distance, clutching his chest.

"Alright, that's enough!" the head thug shouted, Peashy turning to see him holding the little girl hostage with a pistol to her head! "Drop your weapon or she dies!"

Peach promptly dropped her baton and raised her hands. "You're making a big mistake, buddy..."

"You're the one who made the mistake, thinkin' you could play superhero!" the head thug retorted.

"...Do you even know who you're holding hostage?" the soldier shook her head. "That's the CPU of Planeptune from an alternate universe!"

The head thug just laughed at hearing that. "You honestly expect me to believe ya?"

"Aww, you don't believe Peashy~?" the girl abruptly spoke. "Okay then~, I'll show you myself..." She was suddenly engulfed in a pillar of light, repulsing the thug and knocking him on his rear end!

"Wh-what the?!" the criminal gasped as the light faded, revealing a purple-haired dominatrix with red power-symbol eyes. Said eyes looked upon the man with a mix of contempt and amusement... The thug tried to point his gun at the CPU, only to have his hand struck by a whip, the pistol flying away!

"You've been a _bad boy..."_ Iris Heart smiled with evil anticipation. "So now, it's time for your punishment~" She cracked her whip menacingly, the head thug crying out in horror!

And so the torture session began, too horrifying to write on paper, the other thugs looking on in terror. _"Booooss!"_

"I'd run if I were you," Peach turned to face them, "before you become her _next victims..."_

"L-let's get outta here!" one thug cried, turning to flee, his cohorts soon following suit... only to be cut off by a fleet of police cars blocking the street! _"Shit!_ It's the fuzz!"

"Go the other way!" another thug shouted, the group turning and running in the opposite direction only to stop as they were suddenly confronted with a group of military Jeeps!

 _"FREEZE!_ Leanbox Army!" cried Adrian as he stopped his vehicle, standing up and pointing an assault rifle at the thugs! "Keep your hands where I can see them! Down on the ground, _now!"_

"Dammit...!" One thug cried in despair, as he and the other criminals reluctantly obeyed.

"So what was that you were saying, about us being cannon fodder...?" Peashy taunted as she came up behind them, alongside a few policemen.

"W-we stand corrected...!" another thug grunted, as he and his cohorts were handcuffed.

"Suspects in custody," one NPC officer nodded in satisfaction, before wincing at hearing a whip-crack and the head thug's scream of pain. "Er, save one..."

Peach sighed as she facepalmed, before shouting, "All right, Plutia, I think he's learned his lesson...!"

"Aww, can't I play with him for a little longer~...?"

 _"Plutia..."_ Peashy said sternly.

Iris Heart heaved a sigh of disappointment. "Oh fine, you can have him..." She dragged her prey out of the alley by the whip, before pulling him up and handing him over to the police. "Look at it this way, gentlemen, he's already nice and broken for interrogation..."

"Yes, yes!" the man nodded vigorously, "I'll tell ya whatever ya want! Just don't let 'er get me again! _I'm begging ya!"_

"Alright, alright," the police officer sighed as he cuffed the thug, "You're under arrest on suspicion of child trafficking. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law..."

Peach nodded in satisfaction, before removing her helmet and pulling a hand through her ponytail. "Well, I guess that's mission accomplished... thanks for acting as the bait, Ploot," she said as the woman in question walked up to her.

"Oh, you are _most_ welcome, dear Peashy," Iris Heart chuckled. "I always love an opportunity to give miscreants their just desserts..."

"I'm sure you do," Peashy deadpanned. "Anyway, would you mind going back to normal now... for Adrian's sake?" She pointed over to her boyfriend, who had dropped his firearm and was pressed into his seat in fear at the sight of his former torturer.

"Oh, if you insist," Iris sighed, promptly reverting to Plutia. "*yawn* Aaaanyway, Peashy, I think I'm gonna take a nap now~... night-night." She promptly curled up on the ground and fell asleep, hugging her Neptune doll.

"Uh..." one of the NPC officers sweat-dropped at the sight.

"Don't ask," Peach sighed as she bent down and picked up the sleeping goddess in her arms. "Just... don't ask." She then turned and walked over to Adrian's jeep, gently setting Plutia in the back seat and buckling the seat belt. "Could you take us back to the Basilicom now, Adrian?"

"Uh... yeah, sure," the soldier nodded, regaining his composure as he put his rifle away properly, before buckling his seat belt and starting the car, Peach joining him in the shotgun seat. "But next time, could you _please_ tell me if you're gonna use Iris Heart as part of the sting operation?"

"Sorry, Adrian," Peashy winced. "I'll let you know next time, I promise..." With that, the trio drove off...

*Episode 45- End*

Did you see that twist coming? ;) As always, review!


	46. Episode 46: Mighty Mecha Armored Rangers

Another episode! This an idea that's been jumbling in my head for a while now... Let me know if you think I should continue with this idea, and maybe make it it's own series!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 46

by Derald Snyder

A/N: This episode is _non-canon_ to the larger narrative. (...for now.)

(A group of astronauts are seen lifting a lid off a futuristic trashcan, causing lightning to surge out briefly. A close-up of the can shows Nepgya rising out of said can.)

Nepgya: AHHH! AFTER 1,024 YEARS I'M FREE! IT'S TIME TO CONQUER GAMINDUSTRI!

(Cut to a sand-colored building in the desert with an alien design. Inside, Umio's face appears in a large glass tube.)

Umio: R-5, Nepgya's escaped! Recruit a team of martial artists with attitude!

(R-5 presses a button on a control panel. Cut to a gathered group of Uzume, Peach, Adrian, A-Mac and Nisa being warped away, re-appearing in the command center.)

(We then see a close up of Adrian's belt, as a morphing device appears, then seeing Adrian's face being overlaid with his military armor, which resembles Master Chief from Halo.)

(Cut to a large robot slowly rising before the title screen finally appears:)

MIGHTY MECHA ARMORED RANGERS _(Song: 'Go Go Power Rangers- TV Version')_

(A shot of Uzume practicing on a punching bag, then showing her clad in red armor, a single ponytail sticking out from her helmet. She wields a long pointed sword with a red hilt.)

STARRING UZUME TENNOBOSHI AS RED GRIZZLY

(A shot of A-Mac doing parkour through the city, then showing him clad in a yellow recoloring of Adrian's armor, wielding a pair of large daggers with yellow hilts.)

ARTHUR M. DEROMMER AS YELLOW TIGER

(A shot of Adrian wielding an assault rifle, quickly turning and pointing it at the camera, then showing him clad in his armor, wielding a large green metal axe.)

ADRIAN HAROLD JOHNS AS GREEN LION

(A shot of Nisa doing an acrobatic flip and a victory pose, then showing her clad in armor similar to Uzume's, except her hair sticks out the top, and retaining her red scarf. She wields a large blue metal bow.)

NICOLE SARDINI AS BLUE FALCON

(A shot of Peach lifting weights over her head, before slamming the bar to the ground with a cry of triumph, then showing her clad in her military armor which looks similar Agent Maine/The Meta from _'Red vs. Blue'._ She wields a white lance with pointed blades on both ends.)

PEACH C. MACINTOSH AS WHITE GORILLA

(Five quick shots of the heroes holding their morphers, followed by five shots of their corresponding animal mechs, then the Armored Rangers doing a group pose.)

(A shot of Nepgya turning toward the camera...)

ALSO STARRING NEPGYA AS HERSELF

(Another shot of Umio's face within the glass tube.)

UMIO AS THE GREAT WISE SAGE

(A shot of the five animal mechs running together, then they start combining into one, forming a 'tank mode' of sorts. Then a shot of Blue Falcon attaching to the front of configuration, White Gorilla's face detaching and revealing a more humanoid face underneath, the eyes flashing. The camera zooms out, revealing the mechs have transformed into a giant humanoid robot, lightning crackling around it...)

 _(~Go, Go, Armored Rangers, You Mighty Mecha Armored Rangers~!)_

(Then a final shot of the title card, before fading to black.)

*Episode 46- End*


	47. Episode 47: Relationship Advice

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 47

by Derald Snyder

 _*Lastation Army Training Barracks*_

"Come on, maggots! You can go faster than that!" Peach yelled at the Lastation soldiers running the obstacle course. "Adrian would have gotten through that whole thing in _half_ the time!"

"With all due respect, Sergeant..." one soldier gasped out. "Isn't Petty Officer Adrian the _Leanbox Ninja Warrior_ champion? That's kind of an impossible standard to hold us to...!"

"...Fine then. I'll settle for you reducing your time by one-quarter," Peach conceded. _"Now get moving, soldier!"_ The NPC immediately ran off to do the course over again.

"Are you sure you're not being a little too harsh on them?" A young female voice spoke up behind Peach, the blonde turning to see Uni standing there.

"Well, you know, Uni," she began, "It was because I did such a good job training K-Sha that your sister asked me to whip these sorry fools into shape... and I didn't exactly go easy on her, either."

"Well, don't you think you should give them a little incentive?" a male voice spoke up from seemingly nowhere, causing Peashy to jump in surprise, looking around... and then realizing that there was a young black-haired man just past his teens standing next to the CPU Candidate, wearing a pair of sunglasses and casual clothing.

(Was he standing there the whole time? How did I miss him?!) Aloud she said, "Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack...!"

"He's not the kind to stand out in a crowd," Uni deadpanned. "Of course, it doesn't work on me, because of my sniper's eye..."

"And a wonderful eye it is. Both of them, in fact," the young man said, causing Uni to blush slightly.

"Oooh, is he your boyfriend~?" Peach couldn't help but tease.

Both of them blushed at this. "Um, well, I guess, a little bit," Uni stammered. "A-actually, we're supposed to be going on a date, but..."

"But...?" Peach blinked.

"I... I have no idea what to do!" the goddess blurted out. "A-and neither does he! But I know you've got a boyfriend, s-so..."

 _"Ohh,"_ Peashy gasped in comprehension, "So _that's_ why you're here- you wanted some relationship advice."

"S-something like that, yeah," Uni nodded vigorously.

The blonde bit her lip briefly. "Well, I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask... I mean, before I met Adrian, my relationships with boys was, 'they try to grope me, I pound them into mashed potato.' Adrian was a perfect gentleman, by contrast..."

"I confess to being a bit of a pervert, myself," Uni's boyfriend admitted. "A-actually, before I met Uni, you would have been just the type of girl I lusted for..."

"Oh really?" Peach's eyes narrowed. "I bet the threat of Uni shooting you is enough to make you behave yourself, though..."

"My interests have changed," the young man asserted without missing a beat. "Affimojas, on the other hand..."

 _"Affimojas?!"_ Peashy took a step back in shock. "That guy who tried to profit off the CPUs during that whole re-write disaster?! That means you must be... _Steamax?!"_ Her shouting didn't go unnoticed by the Lastation soldiers, who all halted their obstacle course running in shock and disbelief.

"No need to panic!" Uni called to them. "Steamax isn't even wearing his armor right now, alright? So get back to training, or I'll tell Noire on you!" That was enough incentive for the soldiers to start running again.

"Thanks, Uni," Peach deadpanned. "So this is what you look like under the armor, huh? ...But why the sunglasses? It's not exactly that bright out..."

"U-umm, well..." Steamax adjusted said glasses nervously.

"It's to hide his heterochromia," Uni stated bluntly.

"Hey! Y-you can't just t-tell her that!" the former ninja villain protested.

"Hetero-what?" Peashy said in confusion.

"Oh, here, I'll just show you," The CPU Candidate sighed as she swiped Steamax's sunglasses off his face before he could react, revealing that his left eye was blue, while his right eye was black.

 _"Acck,_ Uniiii!" Steamax wailed in dismay as he covered his face with his hands. "How could you...?!"

"Oh, now I get it," Peach said. "Is that why you usually wear your armor all the time?"

"Ngghhh... P-part of the reason," the ninja admitted, still covering his face. "You h-have no idea how much I was teased as a kid... Affimojas was the only one who stood by me back then... He even bought my armor for me, once he started coming into money."

"I see," Peashy nodded in comprehension. "Explains why you're so loyal to him..."

"Anyway, Miss Peach, getting back to your relationship advice..." Uni cut in as she handed Steamax's sunglasses back to him.

"Oh, right..." the blonde soldier closed her eyes in thought. "Well, one thing I can tell you for sure, is that you and your boyfriend usually won't have the exact same interests... Take action movies, for instance. I hate 'em with a passion... The plots are non-existent, everyone talks in one-liners, and they all exist just to beat the crap outta each other! But that's exactly why Adrian likes 'em- he finds them hilarious. Hell, one time we got booted out of the theater because he was laughing too hard..."

"Um, right..." Uni and Steamax both sweat-dropped.

"*Ahem* _Anyway..."_ Peach continued, "what I'm trying to say is, there's gonna have to be some give and take from both of you, if you wanna make it work... and as far as going on your first date, maybe you could try finding a movie you both like, or at least feel neutral about?"

"...I guess that could work," Steamax nodded. Turning to Uni, he suggested,"I think there's a movie about a sniper who has to go undercover after being framed for an assassination he didn't commit playing right now..."

"Sure, I guess we could try that," Uni agreed with a small nod. "But if you're gonna get drinks with your popcorn, get water or something non-carbonated. I hate it when people belch in my ear..."

"A-as you wish, Lady Uni," the heterochromatic ninja agreed as he and the goddess began to walk off. "I was never a big soda drinker, anyway... W-would you m-mind if... I-I held y-your hand, at least?"

Uni just smiled as she promptly took Steamax's hand in her own. "Thanks for the help, Miss Peach!" She called as she left with her date.

"Anytime! But don't call me 'Miss', okay?" Peashy shouted back, before turning back to the exhausted Lastation soldiers. "And as for YOU..."

The soldiers seized up in terror.

"...At ease. That's enough for today." A collective sigh of relief was heard. _"However!_ I expect you all back here tomorrow at 9 AM sharp! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sergeant!" the men responded.

"I don't hear you!"

"YES, SERGEANT!"

"Good. Dismissed!"

And so another day passed in Lastation...

*Episode 47- End*

I know everyone likes Uni x Nepgear, but Uni x Steamax is rather adorable in it's own way... anyway, review!


	48. Episode 48: Fight Night At The Mall

Here's a new episode for you!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 48

by Derald Snyder

 _*Leanbox City Shopping Mall, 12:38 AM*_

(Man, I hate night-shifts...) A-Mac thought to himself as moved around boxes of produce. (Especially when I'm all alone...) Sure, it was a testament of his employers' trusting in him to get work done and not just slack off, but even so... Not only was it almost deathly quiet, save the A/C, there was also the fact that he couldn't get any reception for his myPhone here, which meant he had to walk over and use the office phone if he had to make a call... (My dad invents the best mobile devices in Gamindustri, yet he pays for a cheap provider with lousy coverage...)

As he took a box of lettuce to a shelf in order to re-stock, A-Mac looked over at the glass doors that led to the rest of the mall... fortunately they were locked pretty tight, and glass itself was bulletproof... clearly the owner didn't want to take any chances with thieves or homeless breaking in to steal money or food.

(Can't say the same for the rest of the mall, though,) the young man pondered as he set the box down. (Quite a few of those other stores don't even have doors to speak of... burglars would have a field day...) He began stocking lettuce heads on the shelf, making sure to place them behind the ones already sitting there.

But then, he caught something moving out of the corner of his eye... Turning his head, A-Mac saw someone on the other side of the doors, carrying a large box, who wore a pantyhose stocking over his head to disguise his facial features. Fortunately Arthur was standing out of the direct line of sight from the door, so the other man didn't notice him...

"Oh, boy," he groaned, "Speak of the devil..." Setting a head of lettuce down, he quietly crept up to the door, seeing two other thieves carrying boxes as well. None of them looked to be armed, however.

Part of him knew that he should just run back to the office and call the police... But what if they left before they could get here? So A-Mac quietly unlocked the door, slipping through quietly and following after the men... Peeking into the main hallway, he saw the three of them stack their boxes on the floor, discussing how much money they'd get on the black market for their loot.

(Looks like there's just three of 'em,) Arthur thought as he slipped off his apron. (OK, then, I can do this... just knock 'em out real quick, then go call the police...) Stepping out into the open, he called out, "HOLD IT!"

"Huh?!" the three men turned to see the young man.

"You guys are under arrest!" he called, trying hard not to let his nerves show.

In response, one of the thieves pulled up his stocking, revealing the face of a man in his early thirties. "What are you, night security?"

"More like 'night stock shift'", A-Mac shrugged.

"Oh, give me a break," the thief rolled his eyes as he pulled his stocking back down, he and one other moving in...

Only for the teen to throw his apron in one man's face, then punch the other in the nose, snapping his head back, followed by a few body blows which caused him to keel over. A-Mac then blocked a swing from the other thief, giving him a blow to the ribs, then a hard right to the face, following with a sweep that caused the thief to fall on his butt. "Down we go!" A-Mac said as he kicked the man in the face sending him to the floor.

"Why you...!" The last thief rushed in, A-Mac easily ducking his swing and retaliating with a body blow, then a hook to the face and a kick to the gut, before sweeping him off his feet with a left jab to the face as he fell.

But the thief wasn't done yet, pushing himself back up... "Stay down!" Arthur ordered as he gave the thug a kick to the face, knocking him back down. This time he stayed where he was.

(I did it...!) "Did I mention I'm a high school kickboxing champion?" He asked the thieves rhetorically. (Alright, time to go call the cops...) But as he began to walk off, he looked up and suddenly stopped as several more masked men walked into the area, at least thirty of them!

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Look at this guy!'

"Let's get 'im!"

A-Mac sweat-dropped. "Uh... help?"

"Yeah, you're gonna need it, kid!" said one thug as they moved in... the young man turned to run, only to see more people coming in the door- he was trapped!

Or was he...?

 _"Hiiiii-yaaaaah!"_ The four women cried as they leaped over A-Mac's head, landing in front of the gathered thieves! One immediately stood out...

 _"Peashy!_ Man, am I glad to see you!" he gasped in relief. Standing with the blonde were Uzume, IF, and one other woman with long purple hair, dressed in a black-purple parka dress, with D-Pad clips in her hair...

 **"NEPTUNE!"** One thug pointed in horror. "It's the main heroine!" The thieves' resolve vanished as they immediately broke off and scattered.

"Let's get outta here!"

"Go go GO!"

"Move it, _move it!"_

The adult Neptune swiftly jumped and kicked a fleeing thug in the face, knocking him down. "Awesome!"

Peach knocked down another thief with a roundhouse. "Wicked!"

Uzume and IF knocked down two more with a punch and kick, respectively. "Eclectic!" IF declared.

"Eclectic...?" the redhead looked over at IF confusedly, a thief taking advantage to punch her in the face! "Owie!" She cried as she fell over.

"Uh, whoops," IF sweat-dropped, quickly equipping her qatars to fend off more thugs.

Meanwhile Peashy was punching out a few more thugs... but looking back at A-Mac, she realized her half-brother wasn't moving, staring slack-jawed at the elder Neptune. (Uh-oh, he's a sitting duck...) Thinking quickly, she grabbed a nearby tarp and rushed over to the young man, wrapping him up and lifting him off the ground!

"HEY! Lemme go! What're you doing?!" A-Mac yelled in protest as Peach carried him over to a square trash can, knocking off the top and dumping him inside.

"Sorry, A-Mac, it's for your own good!" Peashy apologized before rushing back into the fight. Arthur struggled and managed to get himself out of the tarp, though he was still stuck in the can. But at least now he could see what was going on...

Not far away, IF was using her qatars to fend off a few thugs, one trying to sneak up from behind, only to get kicked away. Looking for his sister, A-Mac spotted her in front of the sporting goods store...

"Get along there, little bugger!" The blonde cried, wielding a velcro strap as a thug came at her with a bowling pin, easily dodging the man's clumsy swing and whipping him in the butt! "Ha ha! Rawhide!" The thief rubbed his rump briefly before swinging again, only for Peashy to catch him by the wrist, flip him over, and hogtie him with the velcro strap before he could recover!

 _"Yeeee-haaa!"_ Peach cried in triumph, twirling an imaginary pair of revolvers. "Calamity Jane, eat your heart out!"

Meanwhile, Adult Neptune was in the toy store, having found a yo-yo which she used to knock a table-tennis paddle out of a thug's hand, before kicking him down. Turning she saw a few more thugs approaching, attempting to surround her. "Oh, you guys wanna play, too?" The yo-yo lashed out, hitting one guy in the face and knocking him out. "Heehee, now watch this!"

The thieves braced themselves, only for Neptune to start rolling the yo-yo along the ground instead. "The old 'walk the dog' trick! Pretty good, huh?" She flicked her wrist, snapping the yo-yo back to her hand. "And then... AROUND THE WORLD!" She swung the yo-yo around and knocked all the thugs down at once!

Back with IF, she had retreated into the clothing store, facing a thug armed with a baseball bat. "Hey, now you see 'em, now you don't!" She flung her qatars upward, embedding them in the ceiling, then jumping to grasp them, lifting her body out of the line of fire as the thief swung-

-and clobbered his fellow thug who'd tried to sneak up from behind. Before the bat-wielding thug could comprehend what he'd just done, IF lashed out with a kick and sent him to dreamland.

 _"Hah!"_ Uzume yelled as she punched another thief into a steel pillar, who promptly slumped down unconscious. Backing off a little, the redhead suddenly felt something brush against her back, swiftly turning- only to see a clown mannequin rocking on a wobbly spring base. "Oh, it's just a dummy..." But then, a light bulb went off in the CPU's head...

Seeing a flash come from the party goods store, a thief ran inside to check it out. Looking around, he saw his downed comrade, then turned and saw an HDD CPU, recoiling! But she didn't move, except rocking back and forth, completely stiff, one hand raised with a finger pointing in his direction... "Oh, it's just a dummy," he muttered, walking closer. But it wasn't any of the four CPUs that he knew of... none of them had orange hair, after all. "Must be a bootleg," the man said as it rocked closer, only for the finger to suddenly tickle his chest, eliciting a giggle! "Hey! Dumb piece of crap!" he grunted, shoving it away.

"Uzume wants to play!" the dummy stated, her head turning robotically to face the thug. "Uzume will send you to dreamland!" She suddenly turned and raised her hands in a very UN-dummy like manner! "RAAAAHH!"

 **"WHOA!"**

"RAAHHHHHH!"

 _"Yaaahhhh it's aliiiiiiive!"_ The thug screamed and fled in a panic as Orange Heart gave chase!

"Ha ha! Good one Uzume!" Adult Neptune laughed as she watched the scene, standing nearby the concession stand. She then ducked a swing from a thug, sitting up on the counter and knocking him down with a kick...

Only for another thief to rush in and shove her, the purple-haired woman crying out in surprise as she fell behind the counter! "Gotcha, bitch," the thug sneered...

Only for Neptune to pop back up, whipping a package of hot dogs wrapped in plastic around the man's neck! "Ha HA! Gotcha back! WHEEEEEE!" She cried as she pulled the thug over the counter.

Another thief ran up to the concession stand, pulling up the one who Neptune had kicked down earlier. "You alright, Tom?"

"Yeah, Harry, I think so," Tom groaned as he checked his face. "But Dick isn't!" He pointed at the concession stand, as Neptune rose up holding something in her hands...

"You wanna pickle? Here, have a whole jar!" she cried, bringing said jar down swiftly... there was the sound of glass breaking, then a body hitting the ground, Tom and Harry wincing at Dick's likely fate. Neptune then popped back up, climbing back onto the counter, spotting two pairs of footlong hot dogs which were wrapped in plastic, hanging like nunchakus... Grinning, the heroine grabbed a pair in each hand, yelling, _"Combat cold cuts!"_ With a battle cry, she started twirling her makeshift nunchakus with expert precision as she approached the thugs, who quickly turned and ran off screaming!

Neptune gave chase until the thieves had run out the door, stopping and throwing the hot dogs after them. "That's right, you better run! And next time, I'll use ketchup and mustard!" Giggling at her own joke, the heroine walked back into the mall, seeing that her fellow women had pretty much mopped up the rest of the criminals. Then she spotted someone struggling to get out of a trash can... realizing that he wasn't wearing a mask, she walked to the can, saying, "Hey, gimme your hand. Come on..." The young man reached up, grabbing Neptune's hand, who pulled him up and out easily.

"Ah... who, wha, where... huh?!" A-Mac babbled in confusion as looked upon the older Neptune, before turning to see Peach and the other two walk up.

"I think you left out 'why' and 'when'," IF snarked, sharing a low-five with Neptune.

"Yeah, it's a good thing we miscalculated the time change when we war-ow," the heroine was cut off as IF subtly kicked her in the shin. "Uh, I mean, uh, when we flew in from Planep-OW!" She cried again as Uzume smacked her on the head.

"Ixnay on the upid-stay, Big Nepsy," the redhead chided.

"Look, little bro," Peashy sighed, "How 'bout you go outside where there's reception and call the police. We'll start tying 'em up."

A-Mac hesitated. "Yeah, yeah, b-but I- but wha-"

 _"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!_ I don't wanna hear it!" Peach cut him off. "Look I'll explain everything later, alright? Now GO!" she pointed, A-Mac reluctantly turning and running off. The blonde turned back to her companions, raising her arms in a helpless shrug. "Kids."

Everyone briefly burst into laughter at that, as they began their task of cleaning up all the prone bodies strewn about...

 _*Later, outside...*_

"Do I _sound like_ I'm trying to prank you here?!" Arthur shouted into the phone. "...Yes. Alright, OK! Just hurry up, willya? There's a ton of these guys! ...OK, bye." He hung up his myPhone and put it away before dashing back to the mall. He tripped at the entranceway, but managed to catch himself on his hands before he face-planted. Getting back up, he jogged in at a slower pace...

Only to stop and stare at the sight before him. The unconscious thugs had all been thrown into a large pile, with one thug hanging from a ceiling beam by his belt strap. (Well, serves them right,) he thought to himself. Aloud he said, "So, did I mention my half-sister used to teach CQC in the Leanbox Army?"

"Obviously not," a voice spoke up behind him, A-Mac turning to see none other than Peach herself. "That was a pretty good workout, though... Oh, and the others went back to their hotel. So, you and I are gonna keep an eye on these guys until the cops show up..."

"OK, sure," the young man nodded in agreement. "But could you at least tell me who that girl was- that one that looked like Lady Neptune, but all grown-up?!"

"Oh, right," Peashy sighed, rubbing her temples. "Well, simply put, she IS Neptune, just from an alternate universe..."

A-Mac stared at her in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"No joke, A-Mac. I've actually been there..." Peach stated. "She's from the same place that Plutia is, don't you remember?"

"Plutia...? Oh, yeah! Now I remember! Wow, so Plutia's the CPU there, while Neptune is a normal girl?"

"Something like that... On that note, maybe I should tell you a bit more about Plutia..." Peach said, only to hear sirens. "Ugh, guess it'll have to wait until later... look, don't say anything to the cops about that Neptune... just say she has purple hair like Neptuna's or something, okay?"

"Got it," A-Mac nodded, as he and his sister walked to the entrance to wait for the police...

*Episode 48- End*

Pretty epic fight scene, right? Read and review!


	49. Episode 49: Mall Fight Aftermath

The fallout from the fight last episode...

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 49

by Derald Snyder

 _*The next morning...*_

"I'm very disappointed in you, Arthur," Steve DeRommer stated sternly with his arms crossed. "I thought you would have known better than to try to play hero." Laura was standing to his left, while Peach was standing to A-Mac's right, across from them. "Do you have any idea how _incredibly lucky_ you were that Peach and her friends just happened to be in the right place at the right time?!"

"I know, I know," A-Mac sighed, sitting with his head bowed. "I should've called the police first thing..."

"Yes, and then you should've stayed out of sight until they got there," his father appended. "And Peach, you're not off the hook either. While I appreciate you saving Arthur's life, what if those crooks had been armed?"

"IF and Neptuna were armed too," Peach countered. "Besides, those thugs were cowards- as soon as we confronted 'em, they scattered like roaches."

"Not surprising, if one of your friends was a dead ringer for Planeptune's CPU..." Laura muttered.

"...Anyway, Arthur," Steve turned back to his son. "I hope you understand what I'm getting at here. _You could have been killed._ Do you get that?!"

"Yeah, I get it," A-Mac agreed. "I'm sorry."

"Good," Steve nodded curtly. "Now, you know I only punish you like this because I love you, son, but... you're grounded for at least a week. That means you come right home after work. No practicing on your obstacle course, and no dates with Nisa."

The young man breifly tensed up and gritted his teeth upon hearing the conditions of his punishment, before sighing and nodding grimly. "Yes, Dad. I understand. But what if Nicole comes to visit?"

"Then she can play games with you in your room," Steve countered. "Now go to your room, and think about what you did." A-Mac said nothing in response, simply getting up and walking up the stairs to his bedroom.

Once he was safely out of earshot, Peach said, "To be fair, back when I was his age, I might've done the same thing. I only know better now thanks to what Adrian taught me..."

"...so did you ever try to play hero?" Steve inquired.

"Nah," Peashy shrugged. "Closest thing to that was when a couple of guys tried to mug or rape me not long after I graduated high school. They both wound up with black eyes. Needless to say, I never saw 'em again after that..."

"...So who is that Neptune look-alike, anyway? And the other two?" Laura inquired curiously.

"Well, that grown-up Neptune's from the same place as... Plutia." Peashy grimaced as her stepmother shuddered in fear. "*Ahem* The one in the blue trench-coat is IF, she's the official 'escort' of the three. Good friend of Neptuna's... The redhead's Uzume Tennouboshi. I dunno all the details, but used to be Planeptune's CPU herself, a while back. She makes a good sparring partner, though."

"Wait a minute, I thought Uranus was the CPU before Neptune," Laura spoke up.

"She was," Steve confirmed. "Maybe Uzume was the one before her... but anybody who'd remember her would have to be an octogenarian at least."

"Octo- _what?!"_ Peach grunted in confusion.

"Over 80 years old."

"Oh. ...Wait, that means Neptuna- our CPU- isn't actually that old. Wonder if that's why she acts immature sometimes..." Peashy mused.

"I think all the CPUs have their moments, honestly," said Laura. "So why were they traveling with you, then? Because you and Uzume are friends?"

"That's part of it," Peach nodded. "Actually, Uzume and the other Neptuna wanted a tour of Leanbox City, and seeing as Lady Vert's busy with Quests and paperwork..." Checking her myPhone, she then said, "Actually, I gotta get going so I can show 'em around. Thanks for not going too hard on A-Mac." She turned to leave...

"By the way, did Lady Vert hear about last night yet?" her father asked.

"Yeah," the blonde nodded. "She was glad me and the others managed to foil the robbery, though she did chide me a little for just rushing in. But given my brother's life was in danger, she understood why I did... Anyway, I gotta go. Bye!" She waved as she jogged out the door.

"...Seems your daughter's got quite the colorful cast of friends," Laura observed.

"Gotta admit, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I'd see Peach again, let alone that she become friends with at least two of the CPUs," Steve admitted. "I have to say, I'm quite proud of my baby girl..."

"Baby girl? So what does that make iPhone?" Laura ribbed.

"Oh, stop," Steve turned to face his wife, lightly embracing her. "You know what I meant... though I'm sure she and iPad are destined for great things as well. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, after all..."

"Which tree, yours or mine?" Laura teased as she drew him in closer.

"...Yes," Steve responded after a moment, silencing his wife's retort with a kiss.

"EW! Get a room, you two!"

 _"iPAD! "iPHONE!"_

The two sisters promptly scurried off, giggling madly...

*Episode 49- End*

So you're probably wondering what I have in mind for the big 5-0... I do have an idea, but I'm not telling! :P Anyway, review!


	50. Episode 50: Birthday Bash!

Episode 50! It's time to celebrate!

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 50

by Derald Snyder

 _*Planeptune Basilicom, Ultradimension*_

"Aww, but why nooot~?" Plutia whined.

"Because of my dad's wife- my step-mom," Peach stated. "She's still traumatized from what you did to her, and I'm not having another crisis on my hands! I know you have issues with her, but I don't bear ill will toward her like you do."

"But she married your dad after he ran out on you," Plutia shot back.

"And if she hadn't, I never would have met my brother A-Mac. You know I was good friends with him before I realized before we were related? And he didn't have a clue either, until I told him..." She heaved a sigh. "Look, you and I can go out together the day after tomorrow and do something, OK? But do you understand why I don't want you to show up for my birthday tomorrow?"

"...Okaaaay," Plutia sighed in resignation. "It's my Peashy's birthday tomorrow, too, so I guess I can just have a party for her here."

"See? There you go, it all works out," Peach nodded with a slight smile. "So I'll see you in two days, okay?" She and Plutia embraced briefly.

 _*Later that day, back in Hyperdimension...*_

"Yeah, I didn't wanna be so harsh with her, but after what happened with Laura..." Peach sighed as she walked down the streets of Planeptune City, one other walking with her...

"Hey, it's coolsies," Neptune nodded. "So you said you wanted Big Nep's help to get back home zippity-zip?"

"Yeah, I got a few errands to take care of back in Leanbox," the blonde nodded. "A-Mac said there was gonna be a big package that needed to be delivered to his house tonight, and he didn't think Adrian would be able to handle it alone, so..."

"Right, so you gotta use your big, strong muscles to carry it. Makes sense," the CPU nodded. "Okay, if I know the grown-up me, she's probably here in the arcade..." Sure enough, the elder Neptune was inside, pounding away at an arcade fighting game, with another familiar face...

"How can I be losing?!" Uzume cried in disbelief. "I'm the bee's knees at this game!"

"Oh yeah?" Big Neptune shot back. "Well, if you're the bee's knees, then _I'm the bug spray!"_ The screen suddenly lit up with a gigantic beam attack from her character, Uzume crying out in dismay!

 **HYPER COMBO FINIIIIIIISSH! K.O.!**

"Awww!" The redhead smacked the buttons in frustration. "Screw this... in a _real fight,_ I'd be the one pulling the hyper-awesome combos! With my two fists!"

 _"Ahem!"_

"Oh, hey there, Nepsy, Peashy!" Uzume turned and greeted. "Either of you wanna try dethroning the new champ?"

"I'll give you a handicap," Big Neptune taunted.

"Rain check," the other Neptune deadpanned.

"Same here," Peach concurred. "I was just looking for you so I could get back home, Miss Neptuna..."

"Ugh, don't call me 'miss', I'm not that old... and why can't you get my name right?" Big Nep complained.

"Because it's more fun that way," Peashy said with a smirk. "Seriously though, just please zap me back home real quick, and then you can go back to dominating that fighting game."

"Alright, alright..." Big Neptune sighed as she pulled out her Nep-Note.

"Well, see you later, Peashy!" Uzume said.

"Bye..." Peach waved, before she and Big Nep vanished in a flash of light...

 _*That night, at Steve DeRommer's house...*_

Adrian's Jeep turned off the road, Peach in the shotgun seat, using one arm to steady the large box sitting in the back seat as they rumbled down the driveway... "How come all the lights are out?" she asked as they approached the house.

"Maybe a blown fuse or something," Adrian guessed as they came to a stop, unbuckling their seatbelts and getting out, Peashy gently lifting out the large box, which had 'FRAGILE- HANDLE WITH CARE' clearly printed on its side. As they approached the front door, they saw A-Mac waiting for them... "Hey Arthur! Power go out?"

"Yeah, some kind of problem with the fuse box or whatever," the young man shrugged. "Dad's workin' on it right now... Just carry the box in and set it beside the door for now."

"Sure thing," Peashy nodded, carefully guiding the box through the door as A-Mac held it open, then setting it down to her left. "Geez, it's pitch black in here! Dad, you there?!"

"I'm here," Steve's voice called back.

"You gonna get the power back on soon?" A-Mac asked.

"Just about got it," his father affirmed. "OK, here we go, in one, two, THREE!"

 **"SURPRISE!"**

Peach squealed in shock and threw up her hands as the lights came on, revealing Steve, Laura, iPad, iPhone, Vert, Chika, Uzume, Sergei... even her mother was there, the group standing amidst several balloons, a large banner reading 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' hung overhead! "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEASHY!"

"Aw, you guys, you shouldn't have!" Peach gasped out as she doubled over in laughter, Adrian putting a hand on her back to steady her... only for him to get grabbed in a headlock a moment later. "You jerk, you were in on this, weren't you?!"

"Gkh... guilty as charged," her boyfriend grunted with a wide grin. "But it's not like you got covered in slime or something..."

"...True," Peach said as she loosened up. "Sheesh, I remember it taking forever to get all that gunk cleaned off my armor..."

"...Do I even want to know?" A-Mac asked.

"I'll tell you later," Adrian shrugged.

"Hey, wait a minute..." Peashy suddenly realized. "I'm not seeing a birthday cake anywhere..."

"Open the box," Steve replied. This the blonde did, and sure enough, there was a gigantic birthday cake inside.

"Oh, for- you made me carry _my own cake_ to the party?!" Everyone burst into laughter at that...

"Don't worry, we took care of the rest of the food," Laura assured her stepdaughter. "Hot dogs, burgers, and brats... but we also got some vegetables and baked beans to balance it out."

"Of course, I made your favorite," Lisa cut Laura off, walking over to a crock-pot on the buffet table, using a hot pad to open the lid... "Fried eggplant!"

"YES!" Peach pumped her fists in excitement. "You're the _best,_ Mom!"

"Blech," iPad stuck out her tongue.

"Blech? _Blech?!"_ Peashy suddenly _appeared_ in front of her half-sister as if she'd teleported. "Have you even _tried_ eating eggplant?"

iPad recoiled in shock. "U-um, no..."

"Well then, don't knock it until you try it!" the blonde insisted, grabbing the teenager by the collar of her shirt and dragging her over to the buffet table. "My mom makes the best fried eggplant there is! One taste and you'll be in Celestia...!"

"Dad, help!" iPad cried as she tried to pry herself loose, to no avail.

"...I'm not getting dragged into this," Steve deferred. "If there's anything I've learned in my long life, it's not to cross Lisa."

"Hmph," the elder blonde snorted, turning away slightly.

"Oy, just remember to save some for the rest of us, hey?" Sergei said.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you and Adrian get some," Peach rolled her eyes as she grabbed two plates for herself and iPad...

A short time later, everyone had grabbed some food and sat down, chatting with each other in small groups. Peach herself was sitting with her mother, iPad and iPhone also sitting with them.

"So what do you think, iPad?" Peach prodded.

"Mmm... eh, it's tolerable, I guess," the spectacled teen mused. "At least it's not spinach..."

"I concur with that," iPhone agreed, having taken a nibble of eggplant herself out of curiosity.

"Spinach isn't that bad either," Peashy stated. "Then again, it used to be all Mom could afford, so I probably just got used to it..."

"At least it's healthy for you," Lisa pointed out.

"...So anyway, Miss Lisa," iPhone changed the subject, "While I understand why you hate Dad, I would hope that hatred doesn't extend to me or my sister..."

"...Well, it's not like any of what happened was your fault," Peach's mother said. "I guess my feelings toward you two would be neutral... you haven't been annoying Peach too much when she visits, I hope."

"Nah," Peach shook her head. "They tend to try and prank A-Mac more... Although a lot of stuff iPhone talks about goes over my head, so iPad has to try and translate for me..."

"I keep trying to tell her, 'Not everyone is a genius bookworm like you'..." iPad sighed.

"I kinda forget that when I get going," iPhone sweat-dropped. "But I promise I'm not TRYING to break Big Sis's brain... though I also admit I sometimes do the same thing to Arthur on purpose. He's kinda funny when he gets that confused look on his face..."

"I heard that!" A-Mac called from across the room. "You didn't fool me last time!"

"You cheated! iPad helped you!" the youngest sister retorted.

"I plead _nolo contendere,"_ iPad shrugged. "When you're the middle sibling, you have to learn how to play both sides..."

"No-low contender...?" Peashy muttered in confusion.

"It's a court term," iPhone explained. "It basically means that you're not going to contest the charges against you, but you won't admit guilt either."

"Oh, _no contest,_ now I get it," Peach comprehended. "Why didn't you just say that, iPad?"

"Maybe I DID want to confuse you for once," the teen taunted, "after you made me eat eggplant. So there!" She blew a raspberry.

"Oh really?" Peach muttered, eating the last of her eggplant before standing up. "In that case, I think it's time for some... _tickle torture!"_

iPad's eyes went wide with terror as she jumped to her feet. "Oh no _don't you dare!"_ she screamed as she took off as fast as her feet could carry her... unfortunately, Peashy was much larger and faster, catching her easily and lifting her by the waist, before laying her across her lap and whipping off her shoes!

"Here we go! _Tickle tickle tickle!"_

 _"EEEE-hee_ -hee-hee-hee! Ah-hahahahaha! Ha-ha- _HELP ME-hee-he-he-hee!_ " iPad screamed as she flailed helplessly, everyone else just laughing at her, save Lisa and Vert, who just smiled and shook their heads...

 _*A short time later...*_

 _Happy Birthday to you~_

 _Happy Birthday to you~_

 _Happy Birthday, Dear Peashy~_

 _Happy Birthday to you!~_

"Alright, make a wish!" Steve declared, holding up his myPhone to record the scene.

Because of the size of the birthday cake, Peach actually had to stand on a small stepladder in order to reach the '3-0' candles on top. She took a deep breath and blew, easily extinguishing both candles, leading to cheers and applause from the others.

"Oy, so what did you wish for, comrade?" Sergei inquired.

"Like I'd tell _you,"_ Peach shot back as she stepped down, causing a round of laughter among the partygoers.

"I bet it's something about _Adrian~,_ isn't it?" iPad teased, causing her older sister to blush deeply. _"Ah-ha!_ I knew it!"

"iPad, dear, that's enough," Laura gently chastised.

"No comment," Adrian muttered with his arms crossed, blushing a little himself.

"You're supposed to keep the wish secret anyway," Chika pointed out, "or else it doesn't come true..."

"Thank you, Chika," Peashy said with a roll of her eyes. "So anyway, Dad, where's the ice cream at?"

"Ice cream...?" Steve blinked a few times as realization dawned. _"Ice cream?!"_

"YOU FORGOT THE ICE CREAM?!" Lisa shouted. "How could you?! You of all people should know that Peach ALWAYS has ice cream with her cake! _Shame on you,_ Steve!"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Lisa!" Steve cried as he knelt and bowed down before his ex-wife, his head touching the floor. "I was busy with all the other party preparations, I completely forgot! Please forgive me...!"

"Did this happen a lot when they were still married?" Uzume whispered to Peach.

"I remember seeing it happen precisely twice," the blonde shrugged. "Mom, Dad, calm down! It's not that big a deal..."

Just then, the door slammed open, revealing a familiar figure with a long scarf. "Have no fear, NISA, Hero of Justice, is here!" The bluenette strode into the living room, carrying two frosty buckets in her hands. "I got strawberry and chocolate flavors!"

"You just HAD to wait to make a dramatic entrance, didn't you?" A-Mac snarked.

"Hah, thank you, Nicole," Steve heaved a sigh of relief as he rose back up. "You are a lifesaver..."

"Thank Arthur, it was his idea," Nisa said as she set the two buckets on the table next to the cake. "Anyone got an ice cream scoop?"

"I'll go get it, and some bowls," Laura said, walking over to the kitchen.

"Just be thankful your son was thoughtful enough to cover for you," Lisa said pointedly, turning and walking back over to where Vert was sitting.

"Let it go, Mom," Peashy sighed as she opened the strawberry ice cream.

"Just remember not to eat too much, everyone," Vert gently cautioned. "We don't need any prolonged bathroom episodes..."

"Aaaaand I just lost my appetite," A-Mac groaned.

 _*After the cake and ice cream...*_

"Okay, present time!" Steve declared.

"Us first!" iPad and iPhone grabbed a small box, running up to Peach. "Here you go, Big Sis!"

"Thanks," Peach nodded as she took the present. "Just hope it's not something that goes over my head..." She tore off the wrapping, revealing... "A calculator?"

"Sorry, it was the only thing we could think of," iPhone lamented. "That wouldn't 'go over your head' as you said..."

"Well, I guess it could be useful on occasion," the blonde shrugged as she set it aside. "Who's next?"

"Me," A-Mac said, handing another small box to his sister, who promptly opened it.

"A gift card?"

"From the store I work at," he clarified. "You could also call it thanks for saving my hide at the mall the other night..."

"Well, thanks anyway," Peach nodded, giving her brother a brief hug. "Next?"

"Here you are, Peach," Lisa handed her something flat and rectangular. "You could say this one is from both Lady Vert and myself..." Peashy tore off the wrapping paper, revealing a framed picture of Steve, Laura, iPad, iPhone, and A-Mac in a group and smiling for the camera. Lisa stood off to one side, a smirk on her face as she gave her ex-husband 'bunny ears' fingers.

"Really, Mom?" Peach deadpanned.

"It was the only way I could get her to smile," Vert sighed. "Who do you think worked the camera?"

"A small price to pay for a family picture to hang in your apartment," Steve shrugged. "Besides, the kids got a laugh out of it..." iPad and iPhone promptly giggled.

"Compared to what I could have done, he got off easy," Lisa added.

"You really need to learn to put your hatred aside, Mom," Peach shook her head.

"I already have," her mother shot back, "at least as far as coming here for your birthday party... Besides, it's more like 'resentment' these days..."

"Anyway, next present?" Chika cut in, to try and get things back on track.

"Here you are, Peach," Steve handed his daughter a medium-sized box.

"Thanks, Dad," Peach nodded as she ripped off the wrapping paper. _"Apples to Apples?"_

"It's for four players," her father clarified. "Fun for all ages. You and Arthur and the others should have a lot of fun with that..."

"Aww, why didn't we think of that?" iPad pouted.

"Guess that's why he's the dad," iPhone observed. "But from what I've heard about that game, we'll probably all have fun with it..."

"OK, my turn now!" declared Uzume, handing Peach a smaller box.

"Alright..." the blonde opened the present without any further ado. "Are these... gloves?"

"Fighting gloves, kinda like mine," Uzume held up her hand. "So you don't bruise your knuckles if you get caught in a brawl out of your armor..."

"Yeah, that'll come in handy. Thanks, Uzume," Peashy smiled.

"All right, now it's my turn!" Sergei said, handing Peach a package which was clearly a DVD of some sort.

"You do realize, I don't have a DVD player at home," the blonde muttered as she began to rip off the wrapping paper...

"You can watch it at the Basilicom," Vert offered. "Oh, is that _Leanbox Ninja Warrior?"_

"Yes! The most recent competition we were in was finally published!" Sergei confirmed. "Now you can study the obstacles for next year!"

"Or relive Adrian winning the whole thing," Peashy pointed out.

"Yes, enrollment in the Army has ticked upward a ways, thanks to Adrian's feat," Vert said.

"I know, I've become something of a celebrity among the recruits," the soldier stated. "At least half of 'em ask for autographs... anyway, here's the last present." He handed his girlfriend a very small box.

"...really, Adrian?" Peach sweat-dropped.

"I had to work a miracle to pull this one off," Adrian half-joked.

"...well, it's the thought that counts," Peashy sighed as she pulled off the wrapping paper... opening the box, she blinked at what she saw inside... "A ring?"

"A diamond ring," Chika confirmed. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think it was an engagement ring..."

 _"Engagement ring?!"_ Peach gasped as realization dawned.

"Adrian Harold Johns!" Lisa demanded, "Are you _proposing_ to my daughter?" Peashy locked eyes with her boyfriend, who simply nodded and grinned widely.

It was as if a sonic death ray had gone off, everyone present being forced to cover their ears as Peach emitted a high-pitched squeal that seemed to go on forever, as she ran up and lifted Adrian in a tight embrace, her expression one of pure ecstasy as she whirled around and around, swinging Adrian along with her, his legs narrowly missing several tables and chairs. Eventually she ran out of breath, collapsing onto her back with her fiancee atop her, her mouth still contorted in an open-mouthed smile...

"Oy, Oy! I was not expecting _that!"_ Sergei grunted in disbelief.

"What was that?! I can't hear you!" Uzume complained as she shook her head to try and dissipate the ringing in her ears.

"Hey, Nicole?" A-Mac leaned in close so his girlfriend could understand him.

"Yeah, Arthur?"

"I'm not saying it's _gonna_ happen, but *if* I happen to propose to you someday... please promise me you won't scream like that."

"Don't worry, Arthur, I won't," Nisa shook her head.

Meanwhile, Adrian had finally caught his breath, his skin turning back from blue to a more normal shade. "So..." he gasped out, "does that mean... you accept... my proposal?"

Peach lifted her head up to look Adrian in the eye, still grinning widely. "Best. Birthday. _Ever!"_ With that, she promptly engaged her fiancee in a passionate kiss.

"Cheers for our newly-engaged couple!" Vert proclaimed, everyone present immediately bursting into cheers and applause.

But even as she clapped, Lisa thought to herself, (I know I should be happy for them... but I can't but think about how things fell apart between me and Steve...) She glanced over at her ex-husband briefly. (Then again, neither Peach or Adrian are drug junkies like we were back then, so maybe it'll work out this time... I surely hope it does.)

*Episode 50- End*

And with that, Peach and Adrian are now officially engaged! Hope you had fun reading this one! :D


	51. Episode 51: Good Morning, Adrian

Here's a new episode, while I work on the next chapter of _Turnabout of the Night..._

ON WITH THE SHOW!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 51

by Derald Snyder

 _*A few days later...*_

Adrian slowly roused, feeling something laying on top of him... "Peashy, that you...?" he groaned as his vision cleared...

...revealing a smirking face with red power-symbol eyes, framed by purple hair.

The soldier's mouth opened as if to scream, but only a quiet, strangled sound came out. He hoped against hope that this was just some sort of nightmare...

"So," Iris Heart spoke, "I heard you and Peashy got engaged a few days ago... is that right?" A slow, silent nod in response. "Well, I'm glad that you've made her so happy... I'm just here to remind you of what will happen if you break her heart again... like leaving her at the altar, for example." She brought up a hand to gently caress Adrian's cheek. "But surely you know better than to do something horrible like that, _right...?"_

 **"PLUTIA!"** A familiar voice bellowed, Iris and Adrian turning their heads to see Peach herself standing in the doorway. _"What the HELL do you think you're doing?!"_

"Just making sure Mr. Adrian here understands what will happen if he breaks your heart again..." the dominatrix replied. In response to this, the blonde marched right up to the bed, before suddenly grabbing Plutia around the waist, forcibly lifting her off Adrian and hurling her bodily into the opposite wall! _"Owww..._ that wasn't very nice, Peashy..."

"What you did wasn't very nice either!" Peach retorted. "Look, while I appreciate you wanting to keep my feelings from being hurt, there are _far_ better ways to do it than scaring the crap out of my fiancee! And what if someone else had walked in?! They'd have gotten the wrong idea anyway!" She then turned back to her betrothed. "Adrian, are you OK?!"

"-Yeah!" Adrian gasped out as his heart restarted. "Fine, I fine!"

Iris Heart sighed as she pulled herself to her feet. "Dear Peashy... I just wanted to make sure your heart wasn't shattered to pieces again, like what happened last time..."

"Well, if YOU remember last time, it turned out to all be a gigantic misunderstanding!" Peach pointed out. "I think sometimes you forget, I'm not eternally five years old like the other me that you take care of! I'm _thirty,_ Ploot, a full-grown adult, so I think I can take care of myself!" She pointed to the door. "Now _get out!"_

Iris sighed again and shook her head as she did as told. "As you wish, Peashy... but if any of your friends ever need to be set straight, don't hesitate to call me..."

"I'll think about it. Now GO!" After Plutia had left, Peashy turned back to her boyfriend with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm really sorry about that, Adrian... If I'd known she was gonna pull something like that..."

"Is OK," the soldier grunted as he sat up. "I know... it's not your fault this time... she's just a little... _overprotective,_ right?"

"Something like that..." the blonde sighed, before her head jerked up, her nostrils flaring... _"Oh no!_ The eggs are burning!" She quickly dashed back into the kitchen, but it was too late. _"Dammit,_ Ploot! You made me ruin our breakfast!" Tears threatened the corners of her eyes as she turned off the heat and scraped the black mess into the trash.

"What, were you gonna serve me breakfast in bed or something?" Adrian asked. "That's nice of you, Peach, but it's not that big a deal..."

"I just wanted to do something nice for you after you proposed...!" Peach sighed as she embraced her fiancee, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Well, there's always tomorrow morning," Adrian half-joked. "Anyway, how 'bout I get dressed, and then we can go out for breakfast?"

"Alright..." Peach sighed, letting go so Adrian could go freshen up. "But I still need to level up my cooking skills for my future husband..."

"I-I appreciate that," the petty officer blushed a little. "But one day at a time, okay Peach...?"

"Okay," the blonde agreed, heading over to check her purse. (But at the very least, I should pick up the tab today...)

And so another day dawned in Leanbox...

~*Fin*~

Always gotta be on guard when your fiancee's friend is Iris Heart... review!


	52. Episode 52: Morning Thief Chase

Here's a new episode for you! Thanks to Battlefieldfan on DeviantArt for inspiring this one!

The Misadventures of Hyperdimension Peashy

Episode 52

by Derald Snyder

On the streets of Leanbox City, Peach was walking with her fiancee Adrian after eating breakfast at the local restaurant. The blonde ex-soldier was still a little bummed at her attempt to cook breakfast herself having gone up in smoke, literally. (Hope it's not a bad omen for the rest of the day...) she thought to herself.

But alas, it did seem like it was going to be one of those days, as a punk suddenly barreled toward the duo, barely avoiding a collision as they quickly stepped apart to allow him through. "Hey, watch where you're going, buster!" Peach yelled after him...

 _"Stop, thief!"_ Another voice cried out, Peashy turning just in time for a man to collide with her and fall to the ground, though the blonde managed to keep her balance. Said man was clearly military, wearing a camouflage vest and having his hair in the standard military buzz cut, looking to be of hispanic descent. He looked up at the woman he'd run into, black eyes going wide at seeing Peach's D-cups. "Uh... whoa..."

 _"Ten-hut!"_ Adrian cried sharply, the man immediately jumping to his feet and standing at attention. "Name and rank, soldier!"

"Sir!" the man saluted. "Corporal Daniel Rodriguez, 54th unit, medical officer! That man just went and stole my defibrillators!"

"He did?!" Peach looked behind her. "I'll go after him!" She immediately took off running in the direction the thug had gone.

"Wait, Peashy!" Adrian called after her, to no avail. "Ugh... Corporal, you're with me! We'll use my Jeep to try and cut him off at the pass!"

"Yessir!" Rodriguez nodded. "Er, but who are you, sir?"

"Petty Officer Adrian Johns, 81st unit."

"Adrian Johns? You're the _Leanbox Ninja Warrior_ grand champion?! It's an honor to meet you, sir!" the corporal vigorously shook his fellow soldier's hand.

"Thanks, I guess," Adrian sighed. "Anyway, let's get going after that thief!"

 _"Stop, thief!"_ Peashy yelled as she spotted the mohawked thug. "Drop those de-fib-u-lators!"

"Aww, shit!" the thief groaned as he saw a muscular woman bearing down on him. "Just when I thought I lost that other punk!" Shoving past some bystanders, he turned down a side street, Peach in hot pursuit... As he ran at full speed towards another 3-lane road, he was forced to stop as Adrian's Jeep suddenly cut off his escape!

 _"Freeze!_ Leanbox Army!" Adrian declared as he and Corporal Rodriguez pointed their assault rifles in the thug's direction.

"Oh, _come on!"_ the mohawked man yelled in dismay, quickly jumping into a nearby alley to evade the soldiers, but then a large spear imbedded itself in the asphalt in front of him, forcing him to screech to a halt, looking up...

"I think not, miscreant," stated a familiar green-haired woman with purple power-symbol eyes and E-cup sized breasts.

 _"Yahhh!"_ The thug cried in fear. "Y, you're Green Heart, aren't you?!" He was then grabbed from behind by Peach, dropping the defibrillators he'd stolen.

"Gotcha, bastard," the blonde growled as she restrained his arms, panting slightly. "Thanks for the interception, Lady Vert."

"I happened to see you chasing this man while I was doing an air patrol," Green Heart explained. "Speaking of which... By the authority invested in me as Leanbox's CPU, I hereby pronounce you under arrest for theft of medical equipment and resisting arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

"Y-yes ma'am!" The thug nodded vigorously.

"Alright, let's go!" Peach said as she painfully made the punk march back toward her boyfriend's Jeep, while her boss retrieved the defibrillators. "Just so you know, I happen to be Lady Vert's personal bodyguard..."

"NOW you tell me!" the thug groaned in despair. "Just my luck..."

"Well, it was lucky for me," Daniel snarked as Peach shoved the thief into the back seat. "Maybe this'll teach you crime doesn't pay, _comprende, señor?"_ He then looked over to see Green Heart floating over to them, his eyes going wide as they locked on her ample bosom. "Uh, _whoa..."_

"Hey!" Adrian slapped his fellow Army soldier upside the head. "Show some respect to your goddess, Corporal!"

"S-sorry, sir!" Daniel grunted. "I'm just, uh, not used to seeing such, um, big... y'know..."

"...Well, nice to know you're not a pervert," Peach said as she unconsciously crossed her arms over her own bosom.

"I understand," Vert said as she reverted her transformation, her bust shrinking down to D-cup size. "Perhaps you'll find me slightly less... overwhelming now. Anyway, I believe these are yours," she held out the stolen defibrillators.

"Y-yes, thank you Lady Vert," Rodriguez bowed his head as he accepted them. "Sorry about earlier... I just, I never thought I'd meet you up close and personal..."

"Me neither," the thug grunted from the back seat. Although he was no longer restrained, he didn't dare try to escape for obvious reasons... especially after Vert sat on the other side of him from Peach.

"So, we'll drop this thief off at the police station and get him booked, then I'll take you back to base, alright?" Adrian stated.

"Yes, sir," Daniel nodded in agreement. _"Mucho Gracias_ for helping me out... My CO would've given me an earful for getting my defibrillators stolen..."

"No problem," Peashy smiled.

"Anytime," Vert concurred. "A CPU always has to serve their people, after all..." Addressing the thug, she then said, "And I hope that after you've served your time, that you'll stay on the straight and narrow from now on..."

"Y-yes ma'am, Lady Green Heart!" The punk said with a shudder, before muttering under his breath, "And to think I'd _love_ being sandwiched between two hotties at any other point in time..."

The others laughed at the thug's remark as the Jeep went on it's way...

*Episode 52- End*

Hope you enjoyed this one!


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